Cow and casteism

Why is cow sacred, but buffalo is not? I always wondered about this as a kid. Most readers may know that the cow is considered a sacred animal in India and while beef is consumed and sold in some parts of India, it is banned in most states, and some Muslims have been attacked and mob lynched merely due to a suspicion of possessing beef, especially in northern and western parts of India. Growing up in a cow-worshipping society, I always wondered why cows but not buffalo, goats, sheep, or any other milk-giving animal have the same holy status. What is so special about cows that is not with buffalos? Both give milk and dung that have the same uses and meats of both can be sold as beef. The only difference is buffaloes are always black in color whereas cows are of different colors mostly shades of white. I strongly feel that their color and looks are the major reasons why the cow is holy and buffalo is not, definitely, their utilities as agricultural animals have no bearing on this. I feel casteism can be considered as the root of this. It seems the cow belongs to the upper case and the buffalo belongs to the lower caste, therefore, one is holy and the other is not. 

Caste is an integral part of Indian society, this is true even today, rather, one can see the resurgence of case-based identity. Casteism differentiates and discriminates against people based on their birth. Some people are considered superior to others just because of their birth in families belonging to certain castes. There are phrases like "upper caste" and "lower caste" freely used in day-to-day conversations. This casteism has allowed the cows to get holy status whereas buffaloes have no such status. This is a simple case of casteism, the most common social discrimination method in India, the same as racism in other parts of the world. Buffaloes are victims of casteism or racism and cows are beneficiaries of this discrimination.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

What is America?

What is America? 

Is it just a country with geographical boundaries like any other country? Is it a superpower, the most powerful country in the world? Is it the most important economy? Is it the most attractive market in the world? Is it the most preferred country for immigrants all over the world? Is it all of the above or is it something else? America is much more than its borders or its economic and military power, it is an idea that has been manifested to include all of the above characteristics. It is an experiment in diversity, democracy, and freedom—an idea that has inspired many and attracted people worldwide, it is an idea that no other country dared to implement on such a scale. It was built on the bold idea that individuals should have the liberty to make their own choices about religion, occupation, relationships, and expression. However, believe it or not, this idea of America is under attack by none other than Americans themselves.  

Even though one can argue that the US is the best country to live in compared to any country of this size and diversity, it has always been a work in progress, continuously tested and refined as the nation evolved, and it has its own problems. Racism, misogyny, and bigotry still exist in the US, comparatively less, but to an extent where one can see and feel it. The basic idea of America was the freedom to choose. The freedom to choose your religion or not to choose any religion, freedom to choose your occupation, freedom to choose a place to live, freedom to marry a person you love, freedom to express, and freedom from unreasonable interference from the government. I agree that the US Constitution was far from perfect when it was written as all these freedoms were not granted to everyone when it was written. However, in the following decades through 27 amendments, some of them resulting from civil rights and feminist movements, at least some of those mistakes were corrected. For example, the Reconstruction Amendments, the 13th (ratified in 1865), 14th (1868), and 15th (1870) Amendments, abolished slavery and granted men the right to vote irrespective of race; and the 19th Amendment (Women's Right to Vote) was ratified in 1920, granting women the constitutional right to vote (50 years after all men got that right). Note that the Child Labor Amendment to empower the federal government to limit, regulate, and prohibit child labor, and the Equal Rights Amendment which was supposed to grant equal rights irrespective of sex, failed to be ratified by more than 3/4ths of states. Apart from these amendments, some laws like The Civil Rights Act of 1964, and US Supreme Court Decisions like Brown v. Board of Education (1954), and Loving v. Virginia (1967), helped to control if not completely remove racial discrimination. Most of these problems still persist and the struggle is still on especially for women's reproductive rights and systematic racial and gender discrimination, I would say that the US is the best place to live compared to all other places. This is not because it is perfect or has no problems, but because it has fewer problems compared to most other places.

So, why are the ideals that America purports to represent under attack by many of its own residents? One of the reasons is that America is much more diverse due to immigration all over the world and some Americans see this as a threat to their supremacy. This fear is understandable but their actions are not. America's diversity is indeed one of its most powerful assets. It fosters innovation, resilience, and a dynamic society where different perspectives blend to create something unique. Diversity of race, national origin, age, culture, gender, or sexual orientation is not a threat to any nation, religion, or culture, rather it is an opportunity to learn more and build a more diverse and equitable society. America has benefitted immensely because of immigration and immigrants; its success story cannot be written without highlighting the contributions and sacrifices of immigrants. Yes, illegal immigration is an important issue and should be handled urgently with utmost care and sensitivity, but economic disparity and women's reproductive rights are equally important if not bigger issues that need to be addressed. 

The core spirit of America, the freedom to choose is getting attacked, ironically from within. It reflects a desire by some to return to a homogeneous society. They want a homogeneous society that thinks alike and behaves alike, where one religion is superior to others, and where women's rights can be decided based on the religious faith of the majority. But this version of America—a singular, monolithic culture—goes against the nation’s progressive vision, that had made it what it is today. The real challenge America faces is internal: whether it will embrace its identity as a pluralistic nation or regress toward a restrictive vision of conformity. If we want to move forward and make America better, we can't go back, we need to move forward and realize that America's greatest strength lies in embracing differences, finding unity in diversity, and understanding that pluralism, not uniformity, is America's greatest legacy. Balancing individual freedoms with a cohesive national identity is a continuous challenge, yet achieving it is essential if America is to fulfill its promise to itself and to the world, the sooner we realize this better it is for us and for America.     

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Our values, our politics, and our hypocrisy

Everyone claims to have some values and ethics. These values may come from family, culture, religion, or personal experiences, no matter what the source is, we all claim to have some values and stand by them. We also have our politics, we either support or oppose certain policies, some of us are openly aligned with a certain political party, and some are independent but are close to either liberal or conservative ideas. Irrespective of our politics, we claim that our political choices align with our values. After all, politics, especially in today's world, is omnipresent. However, it is easy to have values but it's not easy to stand by them when tested. Many of us are willing to compromise or dump our values when it doesn't suit us politically, exposing our hypocrisy. This is abundantly clear during this election in the US, and to make it clear, the US voters are not the exception, this is what happens in most places where you see some questionable candidates getting traction, hate, and divisiveness resulting in political dividends, it's not the politician, it's our hypocrisy that's must be blamed. When we compromise on values, especially for political convenience or out of tribal loyalty, it weakens our claim that we hold any real principles.

For me, alignment with values and politics is not that complicated, rather, I find it necessary to align personal values with political choices. In today’s politically charged environment, where politics is intertwined with every aspect of society, the disconnect between what people claim to stand for and whom they support becomes glaringly evident. Nothing exposes our hypocrisy more than our politics.

If someone claims to support women’s rights, constitutional integrity, or ethical leadership, but then endorses a candidate or party that actively undermines those values, their claims are false and they do not care about any of these things. It’s easy to profess values when they’re not being tested, but the true measure of integrity is whether one holds firm to those values when it's politically inconvenient or challenging to do so. Supporting a candidate or party that contradicts one’s professed values without holding them accountable reveals a fundamental gap between what we say and what we actually support. For example, if I claim to support women's rights, and then I extend my support to a candidate or party who does not care about women's reproductive rights, then my claim is not only false but I also support abrogation of women's personal rights; if I claim to support constitutional integrity including the independent functioning of various branches of government but support a candidate who attacks these values and demands personal loyalty rather than personal accountability, then, my claims are false and I support weakening the independence of various government branches by violating the constitutional values; if I claim to be against sexual harassment but extend my support to a candidate who openly says derogatory stuff about women and claims to sexually harass women, then, my claim of supporting women's rights is false and I also support that candidate's obnoxious behavior. The list can go on, but I think the readers understand what I am trying to argue. If we claim to have certain values, we need to stand by them and demand accountability when we see those values being violated. If not, we do not have any right to claim to possess those values, they are nothing more than hollow statements. This is directly related to one of the most dangerous justifications we see in modern politics: the “lesser of two evils” argument, where people excuse their candidate's harmful actions because "the other side is worse." This rationalization allows for a slippery slope where values are compromised, slowly but steadily until they lose all meaning. It's not the responsibility of the opposing side to demand accountability, but it is the duty of the supporters to raise the standards in politics.

Out hypocrisy is exposed most when we defend the indefensible behavior with selective outrage; when we use our intelligence and smartness to defend the derogatory and offensive actions of the candidate we support; when we criticize the opposition for actions we tolerate in our own side; when we believe blatant lies without verifying them just because it suits our side of the argument. Our politics exposes our hypocrisy more than anything else. So, if you claim to have some values and don't want to be hypocritical, then be careful about who you support and how you defend your political choice. It is not the job of the opponent to ask for accountability, supporters need to do that if we expect any change in the way politics has been conducted so far. It’s not enough to defend a candidate simply because they belong to “our side” while turning a blind eye to their faults. If voters truly care about the values they espouse, they need to look beyond party lines and tribalism, and they must be willing to critique their own side just as harshly as they would the opposition. 

If we want politics to change, if we want to rise above the hypocrisy that permeates the system, we must first hold ourselves accountable. Our political choices are personal, but they are also a reflection of the integrity—or lack thereof—behind the values we claim to stand for. In the end, it’s not just about who we vote for, but about whether our choices truly reflect the values we claim to embody. If not, it’s our hypocrisy, not just flawed candidates, that is to blame for the disillusionment in politics today. Remember, nothing exposes our hypocrisy more than our politics, be vigilant to protect your values and please vote.   

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Why are we becoming so hateful to each other?

I am sure everyone must have noticed the extremely polarized environment around them. I am not just talking about people having extreme political views, but also about any other social and personal issues. We have reached so far in politicizing each and every aspect of our lives, that even being a feminist is now considered a partisan political statement. We are downgrading every personal and social issue to partisan politics, and there does not seem to be any end to this self-inflicted degradation. So, why are we becoming so hateful towards each other? Why are we behaving like we are part of some cult? What changed and why did we allow ourselves to degrade to such a low level? And ultimately, why aren't we ashamed of this degradation? I don't know if people are thinking about these questions, but I have been wondering about these things for the last few years. Maybe many of us were always this racist, casteist, and hateful, these people never dared to express this hate and rage openly as society in general was not receptive to these ideas, and now some politicians have legitimized these hateful and revengeful feelings to come out in the open, just like Hitler did in Germany. This seems to be the case in many parts of the world including democratic countries like the USA and India. People are becoming hostile to minorities, and immigrants are being treated as invaders, and social and cultural outcastes almost like a discarded commodity transferred from one part of the world to another part. I can understand politicians flaming such rhetoric for their selfish motives, but the strange and worse part is that people are buying such ridiculously outrageous narratives. We know our neighbors and other community members. We interact with each other in various places, our kids go to school together, and we share our neighborhood and other public places like parks and shopping centers. And still, we fall prey to utterly false hateful narratives manufactured by politicians and some so-called influencers who do this only to gain votes and popularity. The most tragic part is that this all is happening in an era when access to information is so easy. People are allowing themselves to get manipulated without any resistance, and this is happening across the political spectrum. Yeah, one side may be doing it better compared to the other but they all are doing it. The way conservative politicians are weaponizing their supporters is something I have never seen before. Most political parties are turning into a cult movement but the way conservatives are leading the way is astonishing and phenomenal. Conservatives who used to swear for individual freedom and fundamental rights are now at the forefront of attacking the fundamental reproductive rights of women, and freedom of immigrants without realizing the apparent hypocrisy in their behavior. The situation is so bad that people are neither bothered about their own hypocrisy nor the hypocrisy of the politicians they vote for. Perpetual cynicism is considered as a mark of wisdom and intellect and optimists are considered naive and foolish; this is where we stand currently. However, even after all this, I am an optimist. I am optimistic that people will realize that fanaticism is not going to take them anyplace nice. No matter which side they are rooting for, eliminating their opponents is not a practical option but working with them for the betterment of their society and country is the only option. The sooner we realize this better for all of us.   

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Mahatma Gandhi - Live and let live

Mahatma Gandhi was assassinated for political reasons. A cowardly terrorist who didn't agree with Gandhi's political and social views but could not fight with him ideologically or via any other democratic ways chose to murder him. However, even though Gandhi died, he became Mahatma, and now everyone, even the organizations who opposed Gandhi have to respect him and praise him, at least publicly. I think Gandhi and Dr. King are two people who are praised by politicians across party lines, but some do it out of compulsion rather than respect, they do it because not doing it will look bad. 

Gandhi's impact on people was so huge that he singlehandedly controlled the Congress party even in the presence of leaders like Nehru, Bose, Patel, Shastri, and others. He was a politician who controlled the politics of India without holding any formal political post. This was not easy, not just one city, or state, but people from the entire British-controlled India were under his influence that's why his opponents hated and detested him because they could never match his influence. Even today, people who oppose him do it with so much bitterness and anger as if Ganshi is still alive and kicking their asses. I feel pity for such people, Gandhi is not only about his personal beliefs or his ridiculous obsession with celibacy, as a human he had many shortcomings like all of us. A lot has already been written about Gandhi and his work as well as about his shortcomings including fanaticism about certain personal beliefs, and I am not going to repeat that here. According to me, Gandhi was an honest man who stuck to his principles, and he had an unshakable belief in the nonviolent freedom struggle. As a politician, he was shrewd and manipulative, but not corrupt or someone who would run away from accountability. Also, it is a strange coincidence that another staunch Gandhian (an ardent follower of Gandhi and his ideas) and India's second Prime Minister Lal Bahadur Shastri shares his birthday with Gandhi. He is pitted against Gandhi by Gandhi haters without realizing that Shastri was staunch Gandhian, so it is like arguing that some ardent Buddha follower is better than Buddha.

Gandhi did not live long enough after India's independence to comment on what could have been his impact on the independent India. Some of his ideas and principles definitely had an impact on India in its initial years, but it is hard to say what impact he could have had as a person. It is easy to either praise or criticize Gandhi, it is easy to either worship or hate him, but it is difficult to understand him. It is difficult to follow some of his great qualities, this is why people take the easier route of either worshipping him or criticizing him. For me, Gandhi will always remain a brave and honest person who had the courage to write a book like "The Story of My Experiments with Truth," and had an unshakable belief in nonviolence. I was very impressed after reading his book, his courage, and his honesty in sharing some vulnerable and embarrassing incidents of his life impressed me the most. I am sure, Gandhi will be remembered and celebrated for years to come not only in India but all over the world. Even people who don't like him or don't agree with his ideology will pay homage to him either willingly or reluctantly, such is the power of his legacy and very few world leaders have such a legacy. I really hope people try to understand him and learn the simple principle of live and let live. We need his attitude of giving space to dissent, allowing others to express their views, live, and let live. Maybe we all cannot be friends, but it is not necessary to be enemies who are trying to eliminate each other, this is what I feel was the crux of his teachings. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Misogyny, racism, and politics

As a society, we would like to believe that we have moved away from misogyny and patriarchy. We would like to believe that in today's world, at least overtly politicians would refrain from making blatantly misogynist and patriarchal comments. No. Unfortunately, we are not even close. Not only do politicians, including the mainstream and popular politicians, make misogynist and sexist remarks, but they also benefit from such remarks, That's the reality we are living in even today, some battles that their grandmothers had won, or at least we thought that they have won, the granddaughters are forced to fight them all over again. For this, we can't just blame these misogynist politicians, people who support such individuals are equally responsible for perpetuating misogyny. The truth is that even today many don't feel that misogyny and patriarchy are bad, rather there are many who used to feel bad that these things are attacked and most politicians were trying to stay away from being labeled as misogynist and sexiest, now, these people are happy that such statements not only don't harm politicians but benefit them and are being made blatantly and confidently. 

The reality is that gender equality is still a distant target. We have achieved a lot, but these achievements have also resulted in a strong pushback and resurgence of racist, sexiest, and misogynist behavior. When power acquired through gender, racial, or social dominance starts slipping away people don't take this lightly, they start making privileged arguments like meritocracy and try to label social justice as another form of racism. This is not new and we should not be surprised by such behavior. The surprising factor is that even after knowing not that distant history of racism and sexiest, people fall for it. They do not understand or maybe do not want to understand what they are risking by encouraging such a blatantly racist and misogynist agenda. It is utterly surprising to see when people who call themselves supporters of individual freedom ask for the abolition of women's reproductive rights. It is surprising when people who claim to support the free market question the existence of immigrants who work hard and most of the time earn less than minimum wage. It is surprising to see people who claim that they are not misogynists question someone's capabilities just based on their gender or biological motherhood. These things are happening in front of us right now, and there are many who are encouraging this behavior. Populism has its own place in politics, but misogyny and racism cannot be populist policies in any civilized society. I don't buy the argument of populism when misogyny and racism are part of it.

I don't care what's your political affiliation, it doesn't matter whether you are a conservative or liberal, if you are not bothered or concerned about this openly racist and misogynist behavior then you are risking whatever progress we have made so far in our fight against racism and gender discrimination. You are taking this country back to the era when racism and gender discrimination were a norm and not an exception. I hope you won't call any country with such a blatant form of discrimination great even if it's your own country. So, if you want to make America great, then, I am sure you don't want to go back to any era when racism and misogyny were more rampant than they are today. Let's move forward and to move forward we must challenge misogynists and racists, no matter which party they belong. If you put your country before your politics and political party, you will agree with me and challenge such people even if they are from the political party you support, and I hope you put your country before your politics. If not, then elections are won and lost, but the country and its values would lose every time such behavior finds mass support. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic.

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Is honesty subjective?

We hear people often using the phrases "honestly, I believed it was true," or "honestly, I did not think it would hurt anyone," and things like that. Does it mean that honesty is subjective? Does it also mean that just because we honestly think something is okay we are not subject to harsh criticisms that may follow our actions following that honest perception? These are interesting questions to ponder, especially in the current age of social media where almost everyone is either expressing their opinion or getting influenced by someone's opinion.

The concept of honesty is often perceived as a fundamental principle that transcends individual beliefs and cultural norms. It seems that honesty is objective and can be verified or evaluated based on independent criteria. However, upon closer examination, one finds that honesty can be subjective, and influenced by various factors such as personal values, social and cultural norms, and situational contexts. At its core, honesty entails truthfulness, sincerity, and transparency in communication and actions. It involves adhering to verified facts and expressing oneself in a genuine and straightforward manner. While these principles may seem universal and straightforward, the interpretations and applications are not that simple, and they vary from one person to another. While truthfulness is easy, people can believe in wrong things and still claim to be honest, and there is a difference between honesty and accuracy. Whereas truthfulness is easy, sincerity and transparency are two aspects that require some work. Whenever we say or do something based on the information received without verifying that information or fact-checking with independent sources, we are not being completely honest. Just believing something to be true without verifying it and not disclosing the source of it does not make our actions honest as we are not being sincere and transparent. Sincerity is not just a mental state, it also requires some actions on our part, we must critically evaluate and verify all information on which we base our actions. Without sincerity and transparency, every rumor and conspiracy theory spreader will claim that they are being honest.

One reason for the subjectivity of honesty lies in the diversity of human experiences and perspectives. Each one of us carries a unique set of values, beliefs, and life experiences that shape our understanding. They shape our understanding of truth and falsehood. Diversity of human experiences creates a diversity of opinions, which is a healthy sign of any progressive society, at the same time, it also creates situations where what one person considers honest may not necessarily align with another's perspective, leading to differences in interpretation. Similarly, what may be considered acceptable or truthful in one culture or community may be viewed differently in another. Believing in wrong things stems from various factors such as misinformation, personal biases, cognitive distortions, or incomplete understanding of complex issues. However, in today's internet era, most of us who consume and share information have access to resources to verify and fact check, therefore, we are not being honest when we share blatantly false information and claim to be honestly believing it to be true.  

Honesty should reflect our integrity and sincerity in communication, it should reflect our commitment to be genuine and transparent in our communications. Yes, it cannot guarantee factual correctness, but it cannot be an excuse for sloppiness or a method to create alternate facts. In the end, despite the subjectivity surrounding honesty, it still remains a foundational principle in fostering trust, integrity, and meaningful relationships. While interpretations of honesty may vary, the underlying intention to uphold truthfulness, sincerity, and transparency is paramount. Recognizing the subjectivity in honesty allows for a deeper understanding of its complexities, it helps us to be empathetic and kind to each other. Striving to be honest, even in the face of conflicting perspectives or challenging circumstances, can ultimately lead to a greater understanding, respect, and authenticity in our actions with others.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic.

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

We are always a work in progress

Many of us strive for perfection. From our early childhoods, we are conditioned to be perfect, this is the reason being perfect in everything becomes a dream for many. We want to be perfect in our professional and personal lives, and if we are not, we want to create an illusion of perfectness by blaming everything around us for our imperfections. Cult following or personality worship is a syndrome resulting from the belief that just because someone is good at some of the skills they are the perfect people worthy of blind following. We are taught to hide imperfections, refuse to accept that we all make mistakes and must learn from them, and also hide our vulnerabilities, whereas, in reality, we are always work in progress. 

Humans are dynamic beings, our main characteristics are that we are constantly evolving and adapting to the ever-changing circumstances of life. Therefore, from the moment of birth to the final breath, each individual is a work in progress, shaped by our experiences, relationships, and many other factors. This perpetual state of development reflects the inherent complexity and impossibility of achieving perfection as there is always potential for transformation within any human condition. At every stage of life, humans undergo physical, emotional, and intellectual changes that contribute to their ongoing development. The speed with which these changes occur may differ from one stage of life to another, and from person to person, but one this is for sure, the change is happening, whether we like it or not. 

Childhood is a stage of rapid growth and discovery. We learn many new things and acquire essential skills, values, and beliefs. Adolescence brings the challenges of identity formation and self-discovery, we may question certain values and beliefs that we acquired during childhood, and this journey of self-discovery can be a challenging and rewarding experience as we transition from childhood to adulthood. Even in adulthood, the journey of self-improvement and personal evolution continues. We strive to pursue our passions and aspirations, and we face many obstacles and try to overcome them. Whether through education (this is not just academic learning but overall education), career advancements, or personal relationships, we constantly seek opportunities for learning, growth, and self-realization. This process of growth and development extends beyond the individual to encompass the collective human experience, each one of us is an element of society that drives this world. As societies progress and evolve, our values, norms, and institutions shape our behavior and expectations, they influence our interactions with each other, and our survival and progress depend on this evolution. Cultural, technological, and social changes influence the way individuals perceive themselves and their place in the world, prompting continual innovation and adaptation. This concept of humans as a work in progress emphasizes the potential for positive change and transformation for every individual no matter what age, gender, race, or ethnicity they belong. While each of us may face challenges, moments of uncertainty, failures, and setbacks, we also possess the capacity for resilience, creativity, and sell; improvement. Through introspection, reflection, and intentional action, we can cultivate our strengths, address our weaknesses, and strive to become improved versions of ourselves every day. We are also a work in progress as we are continuously learning the importance of empathy, compassion, and understanding our interactions with others. Recognizing that everyone is on their own journey of personal growth and development encourages patience, tolerance, and support for one another's struggles and successes. 

The notion that we are always a work in progress speaks to the inherent dynamism, resilience, and potential for growth within every individual at every stage of their life. Our improvement and evolution are not limited to any particular stage of our lives, rather they are continuous and end only when the individual life comes to a full stop. Embracing this perspective provides us with a sense of optimism, curiosity, and openness to our ongoing journey of self-discovery and personal evolution. As we navigate the complexities of life, let us embrace the process of growth and change with humility and a commitment to continual learning and improvement. All the very best! 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Movies, diaries, and books

Suppose anyone asks me apart from many amazing people who helped me during various stages of my life so far, what are the other three things that kept me motivated and helped me to go through rough phases of life, the answer is unequivocally movies, diaries, and books. Here, movies include movie songs, especially Hindi movie songs. As a kid growing up in a pre-internet and cable TV era, movies, books, radio, and tape recorders were the only available modes of entertainment and I cherished all of them. 

For me, movies and music are integrated as I grew up watching movies with multiple songs. I do not understand and follow classical Indian music, I do not think classical music even tried to penetrate certain economic classes in India, it was never catered to people like me and I never bothered about it. Music was film songs for me, Hindi and Marathi film songs. Radio was the primary medium on which I listened to songs for most of my childhood, there used to be some programs like Chitrahar, Chhayageet, and Rangoli on the Indian National TV channel Doordarshan, but they were weekly programs and only 30 minutes long with 6-7 songs, so, radio, especially "Vividh Bharati" was my primary source of music. We could buy a second-hand tape recorder when I was in high school and that was one of the happiest moments of my life as this gave me the ability to listen to songs of my choice whenever I wanted. With radio, you are at the mercy of radio programs and have to listen to whatever songs they play during their programs which follow a specific time schedule. But radio played a huge role as their collection of songs was much bigger than the audio cassettes I could buy. Many movie songs that I listened to during that period are still my favorite songs, I still listen to them and feel the same emotions.

As far as books are concerned, I was fortunate to be born in a city with free or very cheap libraries with a great collection of Marathi books. These books opened new horizons for my heavily conditioned mind. Books allowed me to meet with people who were beyond my personal and social reach, they exposed me to new ideas and questions, they challenged my beliefs, and faith, and exposed me to struggles others faced and how they overcame it. It was through books I learned about independent women who challenged patriarchal and misogynist values. Books provided me the courage and conviction that I lacked due to the lack of any suitable idols around me to challenge regressive traditions and culture. Books provided me with the conviction that my doubts and questions were not wrong or crazy, they helped me to find answers to my questions and then, posed new questions for me, some of which I am still trying to find an answer to. Books allowed me to chart my own path, they provided me tools to think but I never considered any book as the ultimate gospel of truth. Books taught me that everything can be questioned, and I never stopped questioning since then.

I started writing a diary during my teenage years. Some of those diaries I still have and I lost some of them. But whatever I have is good enough to provide glimpses of my past. My diaries allow me to look at my old self and see how things changed. They show me how my thinking has evolved and as a result of that how I evolved as a person. They tell me about my dreams, concerns, and insecurities at different stages of life. They provide me an opportunity to revisit certain parts of my life, sometimes I read them and that era unfolds in front of my eyes like a movie. I don't think it would have been possible without my diaries.

My love affair with movies, books, and my diaries still continues, they add unique flavor and dimensions to my life and personality. My house is full of books, many of which I plan to read and I keep on adding to that collection, it doesn't matter whether I read them all or not, but having them around me fills me with hope and desire to know more. My diaries provide me a unique window into my past, they show me my state of mind, remind me about different people I met at different junctures of my life, and provide me perspective of some of the incidents that shaped me. And finally, movies and movie songs still entertain and educate me. I hope everyone finds some anchors like this that help them to self-educate, entertain, and add new dimensions to their lives. There is nothing better than challenging our own views and ideas and correcting them if they are found to be wrong and outdated. Stagnant ideas and cultures get contaminated and eventually stink like stagnant water, so, keep on updating your knowledge. There is no single book or movie that has all the knowledge or entertainment, you need multiple sources and keep on updating continuously as knowledge continuously changes and improves. I found my way to keep myself updated through books and movies, I hope you will find yours. All the very best.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com   

Can money buy happiness?

Money is important for everyone. This is not because money has certain inherent health benefits like some vitamins or other essential dietary components that we need, but because of the way our society is structured. We have decided to make money not only a currency but an essential commodity for survival in society. Even though everyone agrees that money is important, this one question is difficult to answer: Can money buy happiness?

My answer is "maybe," it all depends on what that person wants from their life. The relationship between money and happiness is complex and that's why it is often debated. Money can definitely contribute to certain aspects of happiness, such as financial security, physical comfort, and most importantly access to power and resources, however, its ability to directly buy happiness is limited and conditional and it varies from person to person. 

On one hand, having an adequate income can alleviate financial stress, provide for basic needs and other desires, and offer avenues for personal and social enjoyment and fulfillment. It can also enable individuals to pursue their passions, indulge in experiences, and enjoy certain standards of living that enhance their overall well-being. Also, financial stability can contribute to peace of mind, reduce anxiety and uncertainty about the future, and enable a person to help others. However, the pursuit of wealth has its own pitfalls and comes with its own problems. The pursuit of wealth and material possessions as a means to happiness can come at the cost of personal time, resulting in strained relationships, added stress and anxiety, and total dependency on that source of money. The research has shown that beyond a certain threshold, additional money does not necessarily lead to a proportional increase in happiness. This threshold can differ from person to person, but once basic needs are met, factors such as social connections, purposeful work, and personal growth become more significant determinants of happiness and financial wealth alone. Sometimes, the relentless pursuit of money can lead to a sense of emptiness, as individuals may find themselves trapped in a cycle of consumption and comparison, always chasing after the next possession or achievement in search of fulfillment. Unless inherited, wealth needs to be earned, and this pursuit of wealth can come at the expense of other important aspects of life such as health, leisure time, and quality relationships. Many people already complain about the long working hours they spend to accumulate wealth which leads to stress and burnout and neglect of one's physical and emotional wellbeing. The problem is even after knowing all this, people can't stop chasing money as they are trapped in the cycle of consumption and comparison.  

So, the point is, money can do a lot of things for you and it really depends on an individual and their priorities and situations if money can buy happiness for them or not. There was a time in my life when every issue and problem was related to money and I used to think only money could resolve all the issues, this was true for that particular phase, but not every phase of life is the same, our questions change and so the answers also change. Money can contribute to certain aspects of happiness, but true well-being and fulfillment stem from a multifaceted approach that encompasses various dimensions of life including the money dimension. Apart from money, cultivating meaningful relationships, pursuing passions and interests, contributing to the community, spreading kindness and love, and nurturing a sense of purpose are all essential components of a fulfilling life. True happiness arises from a holistic approach and money can be an integral part of this approach. One needs to decide how much and to what extent money is important for them and act accordingly. As individuals, we need to strike a balance between our financial well-being and the pursuit of happiness in a broader sense. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Mistakes and failures

Mistakes and failures are the two things that no one can avoid, they are intrinsic aspects of human experience. No matter how hard we try, we are going to have a fair share of our mistakes and failures, they are unavoidable in the journey of growth, learning, and achievement. They play a vital role in shaping our character, refining our skills, and pushing us towards success. The problem is not that we commit mistakes and face failures, but when we fail to learn lessons from them. Every setback is an opportunity to learn, and every failure is an opportunity to restart with a fresh mindset and energy. However, most of the time we fail to capitalize on these opportunities because we don't consider them as opportunities.

Mistakes are unavoidable for so many reasons, but mainly due to errors in judgment, lapses in attention, or simply due to the unpredictability and randomness of life itself. From minor mishaps to more significant blunders, mistakes provide opportunities for reflection, correction, and improvement. Mistakes can serve as valuable teachers, offering lessons in humility, resilience, and adaptability. They may also provide us with some regrets that can help us to become better human beings. Embracing mistakes and learning lessons from them is a part of the learning process that allows us to approach challenges with curiosity and openness, rather than fear of failure.

Failures also are an inevitable part of the human experience. They represent setbacks, disappointments, or shortcomings in our endeavors and pursuits. Sometimes, mistakes may result in failure, but this is not required, we may fail for so many reasons and without committing any mistake. Whether it is failing short of a goal, experiencing rejection, or facing adversity, failure can be a painful and humbling experience. However, like mistakes, it also offers valuable insights into our strengths, weaknesses, and areas of growth. By reframing failure as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block, we can harness its transformative power to fuel perseverance, innovation, and personal development. As a scientist, I know how important it is to learn from failures and capitalize on every failed experiment. 

Both mistakes and failures remind us of our humanity and inherent fallibility, and our capacity for resilience. They challenge us to confront our limitations and push past our comfort zones and strive for our goals despite hurdles and setbacks. More importantly, they foster empathy and compassion, as we recognize that everyone experiences missteps and setbacks on their journey to their success. To use them constructively we need to learn to embrace mistakes and failures not as signs of inadequacy, but as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. We also should not hesitate to seek help if we feel unsettled by them. With self-help or external help, we can reframe our perspective and adopt a growth mindset that can help to approach challenges with courage, persistence, and optimism. Rather than fearing them, we can view them as necessary stepping stones on the path to realizing our full potential.

Any culture or institution that only punishes mistakes and failures and only rewards success hinders personal growth. Mistakes and failures are as important as success in our lives. By embracing all of them with humility and resilience, we can transform setbacks into opportunities and valuable lessons. Let us embrace mistakes and failures as catalysts for personal and professional growth, recognizing their essential role in shaping our journey toward fulfillment and exploring our full potential.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

The cost of being nice

We see many people around us who are successful and admired despite being nasty to people around them. We know about bosses who are admired even though it is known that they perpetuate a toxic work culture. We know politicians who are admired even though they propagate hateful politics and divisiveness. Even movies with toxic, misogynistic, and brutal central characters become blockbusters. What does all this mean? What does it say about our society and culture when people relate to such toxic characters and consider them charismatic characters?

It begs the question, is it so difficult to be nice or kind? If it is not that difficult then why aren't people nice to each other. First, why we should be nice? We should not be nice or kind only because we get something from it, that's fake and selfish behavior. Occasionally, it's okay to be nice to get something in return, but making this a habit undermines our authenticity. Niceness or kindness works best when it's genuine. Sometimes, my kids come to me frustrated and angry and ask me what they get for being nice and reasonable when no one seems to value these qualities. My answer to this question is simple, you aren't kind because someone should praise you for being kind, you are kind because you feel compassion and love, and it is not possible to be kind every time everywhere. 

While being nice can have many positives, there can be costs associated with prioritizing niceness in certain situations. It is impossible to be nice all the time, if you try to be nice all the time it comes with the cost of suppressing your true feelings, opinions, and needs. Being nice doesn't mean one should try to avoid each and every conflict, sometimes you need to be assertive to stand up for yourself and others. Suppression of authenticity is the cost you will pay if you try to be nice all the time, many times, it is not possible to win approval from everyone around you. Another common issue is boundary violations. People who try to be nice all the time fail to establish or assert their boundaries or struggle to say no to requests or demands from others. This can lead to overcommitment, burnout, and a sense of being taken advantage of, as they may feel obligated to accommodate others at the expense of their own well-being. It is important to protect our boundaries, it is not the price we should pay for being nice. Therefore, constantly prioritizing niceness over genuine communication and self-care may contribute to feelings of resentment and stress. Sometimes being nice all the time may inadvertently enable negative behavior of others, we may come across as an insincere person or someone with a lack of assertiveness leading to misunderstandings and a lack of personal boundaries. All this can stifle our personal and professional growth. Without honest communication and feedback, we may struggle to identify the areas for improvement or opportunities for learning and development.

So, even though niceness can have many positives and is a desirable quality, it is important to recognize the potential costs and learn to strike a balance between niceness and authenticity. We must cultivate assertiveness, set healthy boundaries, and prioritize self-care while being nice. Also, whether it is necessary to be nice depends on the context and individual values. Niceness is typically characterized by kindness, politeness, and consideration of others. It plays an important role in our social interactions, building relationships, and contributing to a harmonious community. Our small acts of kindness can brighten someone's day, alleviate stress, and contribute to a more inclusive and supportive environment. In a professional setting, it can enhance teamwork, productivity, and job satisfaction, fostering a positive organizational culture.  However, the expectation of being always nice is impractical and unreasonable as it conflicts with our authenticity. It is burdensome to suppress our feelings all the time to avoid confrontation or to maintain a facade of agreeableness. Therefore, we should be aware of situations where being nice can undermine genuine communication and hinder meaningful connections and act accordingly. It is natural to encounter moments of frustration, anger, or disagreement. Suppressing these motions can lead to internalized stress and emotional repression affecting our mental and emotional health.

Ultimately, while niceness has its merits, it is essential to strike a balance between our kindness and authenticity. This does not mean that being nice always comes at the cost of being authentic, but when it does, we should be able to judge those situations and act accordingly. Remember, genuine relationships thrive on honesty, mutual respect, and acceptance of each other's humanity, including movements of vulnerability and disagreement. By cultivating a culture of kindness while also honoring individual boundaries and authenticity, we can create a more compassionate and inclusive world. Let's work to build such a world, and let's start from our own surroundings first. All the very best.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Difference between our mental health and emotional health

I have written several posts about different topics related to mental health and emotional health. Both are extremely important for improving our quality of life. People often confuse that mental health and emotional health are the same. Yes, they are related, but not the same. To have good emotional health you need to have good mental health, but just because you do not have mental health-related issues that doesn't mean your emotional health is also good. Social stigma associated with mental health still persists, we have made great progress, but we are still not where we should be as a society to appreciate the importance of mental and emotional health. This stigma hinders open and frank discussion about many topics related to trauma and personal struggles that many of us face in our day-to-day lives. 

Our mental and emotional health are crucial components of our overall well-being, yet they include distinct aspects of our psychological and emotional functioning. Understanding the difference between these two dimensions is important for fostering resilience, coping with challenges, and promoting holistic wellness. Our mental health includes issues related to depression, anxiety, and other chronic conditions like bipolar, ADHD, etc. It includes a broad range of cognitive, emotional, and psychological aspects that influence how we think, feel, and behave. It involves factors such as our ability to process information, solve problems, manage stress, and maintain a sense of purpose and belonging in life. Mental health is not only about the absence of any mental illness but it is about recognizing and appreciating diverse types of psychological experiences and challenges that we face in our daily life.

Our emotional health includes our mental health plus social and personal interactions, that is, it depends on how we react to our relationships and surroundings. It includes our ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions effectively. It involves being conscious of our feelings, expressing them appropriately, and coping with our emotional challenges constructively. it includes aspects such as self-awareness, empathy, and the quality of our interpersonal relationships. Our relationships include our personal as well as professional relationships as work is becoming an important and integral part of people's lives. So, one can say that mental health is a foundation upon which emotional health is built. A strong foundation of mental health provides the cognitive and psychological resources needed to understand and manage our emotions effectively. Conversely, nurturing our emotional health contributes to overall mental well-being by enhancing resilience, building positive relationships, and promoting psychological balance.  Both mental health and emotional health are interconnected and mutually reinforcing, we cannot neglect one and expect that the other will help us out. A disruption in one dimension can often impact the other, this is why I am highlighting the importance of both. Maintaining both, mental and emotional health is essential for overall well-being and quality of life.

Our mental and emotional health are interconnected aspects of our overall well-being. Even though they are connected, they are not synonymous. Whenever we face any emotional challenges we need to address both aspects holistically, just focussing on one may help us temporarily but we must look into both aspects for permanent benefits. There are many useful practices such as mindfulness, self-care, therapy, and healthy and active lifestyle choices that can help to promote both dimensions resulting in improved resilience, greater fulfillment, and better overall well-being. By prioritizing both, our mental and emotional health we can cultivate the psychological resources needed to thrive and lead fulfilling lives.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Subtle sexism and patriarchy

Sexism and patriarchy are widely debated issues, they are insidious forces that permeate our society, often operating under the radar and manifesting in seemingly innocuous ways. I have written a few posts related to these issues. We may want to believe that our generation has really started questioning these practices, but debates about these things have been going on for decades in some form. Also, one cannot deny the significant progress that has been made toward gender equality in the last few decades years. In many societies, the situation is much better than it was just a few years ago.  

Even after all this progress, there is a long way to go. Sexism and patriarchy now exist in a very subtle and nuanced way in many societies, including developed nations like the United States. Unlike overt forms of discrimination, which are easily identifiable and condemned, every form of discrimination now exists in its subtle form. Subtle forms of sexism and patriarchy are more difficult to recognize and address, yet their impact can be equally damaging. It is possible to be sexiest without being hostile towards women, it is possible to be sexist even if you have a mother, wife, and daughters, just having female relatives doesn't give anyone the right to downplay their sexist and misogynist behaviors. Subtle sexism refers to the subtle, often unconscious biases, stereotypes, and microaggressions that perpetuate gender inequality. It can manifest in various forms, such as the gender pay gap, double standards in behavior and appearance, or the underrepresentation of women and other genders in leadership positions. Subtle sexism praises women, but only in certain contexts or for certain qualities such as kindness, patience, or motherhood. It predefines and confines a gender only to traditional gender roles. Some examples are, men not washing their own dishes, the stereotype that women are bad drivers, the tag of gold digger only used for women, and assuming that a successful woman must have used some other means to reach there whereas a man in a similar position reached there just on merit. These are just a few examples to show how gender discrimination still exists but only has shifted its means and manners. It is now more subtle and nuanced. These subtle biases reinforce gender roles and norms, perpetuating inequality and limiting opportunities for women to fully participate and thrive in society. On one side women are encouraged to take on new challenges but on the other side, they are forced to continue with their traditional gender roles making them shoulder additional burdens. And when they struggle or fail questioning the ability of the entire class. Note that when a man fails, just that man fails, no one stands up and questions whether men are qualified to do that task. But when a woman fails, she carries a burden of their gender, as many stand up and question the ability of every woman to do that task. 

Gender discrimination, misogyny, and sexism are legacies of patriarchy. Patriarchy refers to a social system in which men hold primary power and dominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege, and control of property. While one may think that patriarchy is an outdated concept in today's progressive societies, its influence persists in subtle ways, shaping social structures, institutions, and cultural norms. On common example of the manifestation of patriarchy is the expectation that men should be assertive and dominant, while women should be nurturing and accommodating. Any man showing accomodating behaviors, especially towards women becomes a target of gossip and criticism even today. Patriarchy can also be seen in the disproportionate representation of men in positions of power and influence, such as corporate boardrooms, government offices, and media outlets. These subtle manifestations reinforce gender hierarchies and perpetuate inequality.

Addressing subtle sexism and patriarchy requires a collective effort to challenge ingrained biases, and sexist and misogynist cultural and religious practices, dismantle oppressive systems, and promote gender equality. This involves raising awareness of unconscious biases, advocating for policies that promote diversity and inclusion, and creating spaces where individuals of all genders, races, nationalities, or any other diversities can thrive and succeed on equal footing. We must recognize and confront subtle sexism and patriarchy, or for that matter any form of discrimination in all its forms. We must work towards building a more equitable and just society where everyone, regardless of gender or any other identity, has the opportunity to reach their full potential. It's a journey that requires ongoing reflection, education, and action to create meaningful chances. I am ready for this journey, are you ready?

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

My Nani and feminism

Patriarchy is a default setting for all of us. We all are born in patriarchy, it is the system that has been prevalent in all cultures, societies, and countries for centuries. Generations have lived and are still living in social constructs dictated by patriarchy and there is a strong social, cultural, and religious culture that propagates it in various ways. We don't have to do anything special to propagate patriarchy, it exists around us, and we all become part of it as that's the culture we inherit in all societies. Individual families sometimes may differ somewhat and try to get rid of some regressive patriarchal traditions, but even those families live in societies that are patriarchal. The patriarchal mindset has been challenged by the gender equality movement, also called feminism, but this battle is still in its initial stages and there is a long way to go. Feminism has challenged gender discrimination at every level and in this process, it has also affected the dynamics of male-female relationships.  

I am a proud feminist. There are many instances that guided my path to becoming a feminist, the life of my Nani (maternal grandmother) is one of the major forces that made me a feminist. I have written a blog about her, it was written as a response to the comments I received for another blog about some objectionable phrases from a famous Gita translation. My nani lived her entire life in a small village named Rajapur in Uttar Pradesh, the most populated state in India. As it was a common practice back then she got married at a very early age, child marriage was a norm and it still exists in India no matter what are the laws against it. She became a widow within a few years of her marriage. Her husband (my Nana) died in a tragic boat accident in the river Ganga, this happened immediately after the birth of my mom, hence my mom is the only child of my Nani. This one unfortunate incident changed her entire life, it made her life colorless and companionless. She was not allowed to wear a colorful saree or have any makeup or any jewelry that a married woman was allowed to wear. No one even bothered to think that she should be given a second chance to restart her life with someone else and enjoy the simple pleasures of life that any married woman around her was enjoying. Rather, the entire society was okay with depriving her of all the simple pleasures of human life at such a young age. Nani was a brave lady, she survived, lived her life with grit and dignity, she created her own identity and raised my mom with the help of the joint family. People respected her and took care of her needs like food, clothes, and shelter, but no one went beyond that. As a grandson, I received tremendous love and pampering from her, she used to treat me and my two younger brothers like kings. Whenever we visited her, she was happy and ran after us making sure that we didn't face any troubles, as long as we stayed with her her entire life revolved around us. I have a retreat in my life that I could not reciprocate her love, she passed away in 1991 when I was just a teenager. I wish she could have survived to see me graduate from college and especially get my PhD, whenever I think about this I feel sad that she didn't live to see any of this. However, her life did make me realize unfair and brutal religious, social, and cultural practices that only targeted women. It made me realize how women are purposely suppressed so that society can exploit them. It is true that in Hinduism there are many female deities like Durga, Lakshmi, and Sarasvati, but just because society worships female gods does not mean it also respects females and treats them as equals. Just because her husband died my Nani couldn't live the life of her choice, she was not offered any choice, her choices went away with my Nana's death, but her presence in my life made me a feminist to make sure at least no one in my family will face a similar fate. As long as there are traces of patriarchy in our society, we need feminism, as long as there is a single woman whose choices are taken away due to misogynist religious and cultural practices, we need feminism. My Nani unknowingly made me a feminist. I am a proud feminist, are you?  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Have you built your own door for an opportunity to knock on it?

There are many opportunity knock quotes. It seems opportunity knocks on everyone's door and we are not supposed to miss that chance to respond to that knock as sometimes the opportunity knocks only once. Whether any opportunity knocks once, twice, or multiple times, it is important to have a door on which an opportunity can knock, so, the first task is to build our own door first so that an opportunity can knock on that door. 

What do I mean by building a door for an opportunity to knock? Creating an opportunity often involves more than just waiting for it to appear - it requires initiative, creativity, resilience, hard work, and determination to carve out paths to create an opportunity that eventually leads to success. Building our own door for opportunity to knock is about taking proactive steps to create the circumstances that enable growth, boosting our morale to continue our efforts despite failures, and seeking fulfillment is our journey to success as sometimes the journey is long and full of uncertainty. Waiting passively for opportunities to present themselves may yield limited or no results. Instead, seizing control of our destiny by focusing on our own strengths and efforts involves seeking out opportunities. One way to achieve this is by leveraging our strengths and pursuing our passion with purpose and determination. It also required identifying our goals, assessing our skills and resources, improving on them as needed, and seeking strategic action to create pathways for progress. If we strive for continuous progress, success will eventually come. Building our own door for the opportunity also means stepping outside of our comfort zones, embracing uncertainty, and taking calculated risks in pursuit of our aspirations. It is not enough just to have aspirations and dreams, we need to strategically pursue them, otherwise, they always remain our dreams and aspirations. Active pursuit may involve networking, seeking mentorship, updating our skills, and acquiring new knowledge to position ourselves for success in our chosen field. It also requires resilience in the face of setbacks and failures, adaptability in response to changing circumstances, and perseverance. Building our own door for opportunity is also about fostering a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. Rather than waiting for opportunities to come to us, we should actively seek out ways to create value, make meaningful contributions, and establish ourselves as a force for positive change in our personal and professional lives. By being entrepreneurial in our efforts and embracing our creativity and determination, we can generate new opportunities and open doors that may have previously seemed closed. 

Building our own door for opportunity is a proactive approach to personal and professional growth. Rather than waiting we want to take the initiative. This approach empowers us to take ownership of our own destiny, helps us to overcome obstacles, encourages us to seek help and offer help to others, and forge our path to success. By embracing initiative, resilience, and a willingness to take calculated risks, we can create a future filled with endless possibilities for personal and professional growth, fulfillment, and achievements with standards and milestones decided by us and not someone else. So, don't wait for an opportunity to knock - build your own door and invite in. All the very best!

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

How do you want to earn respect?

Humans are social animals. We live in groups, interact regularly, and seek continuous validation from each other. These interactions and feelings of community help us to maintain our mental and social health. Our perpetual need to seek validation from others is the major reason for the tremendous success of social media. We want our family, friends, and society to recognize and respect us. Earning respect and validation are fundamental aspects of human interaction. We find various avenues to seek this respect and validation. Power and wealth have become universal tools to command respect in every society. It is important to note that to respect power (wealth is also a form of power), is no different than what animals do, they also respect power, the might is right is the rule of the jungle. Knowingly (or unknowingly) we are following the same rule. Why are we inclined to respect power and wealth so much? Even after all these years of learning and progress why are we okay with obnoxious displays of wealth and power? Why do love, compassion, humor, and kindness not generate as much respect as wealth and power generate? I wonder if people ask these questions in today's fast-paced life.

In a world driven by materialistic pursuits and instant gratification, the quest for respect is often overshadowed by desires for wealth and power. Wealth and power are not bad things per se, it depends how a person uses them. Most, if not all rich, follow a typical lifestyle, some common elements are, living in lavish homes, having unique preferences about schools, colleges, and jobs, and noticeable use of luxury brands. Nothing wrong with any of these things. The problem is when these things become the hallmarks of earning respect and things like integrity, compassion, love, and authenticity are forgotten. In striving for respect, it is essential to acknowledge the pitfalls of a materialistic mindset. Material possessions are necessary and they do provide instant gratification, however, a life solely focused on wealth and power can lead to emptiness and a lack of fulfillment, and ultimately may fail to garner genuine respect. Also, it can foster superficial relationships based on what one has rather than who one is. Therefore, prioritizing material wealth and power as the only means to earn respect can be ultimately futile and shallow.

Another way to earn respect can stem from material wealth and power coupled with the choices we make and the values we uphold. Integrity, for instance, is one of the cornerstones of respect. Being honest, reliable, and principled in our actions establishes ourselves as individuals of character and cultivates trust and admiration from others. Compassion is another powerful quality that is becoming rare as people are getting more aggressively opinionated. Showing empathy and kindness towards others not only enriches their lives but also reflects positively on our own morals and character. When we teach others with dignity and understanding, we foster meaningful connections built on mutual respect and empathy. Many people forget this simple aspect of human interaction, especially on social media or while discussing sensitive issues, this is why we see so polarized society. Authenticity is one of the most important qualities to earn respect. Nowadays, we are so used to seeing the well-curated lives of others on social media that we forget the real colors and flavors of our own personal and social lives. Embracing our true selves, flaws, and all, demonstrates courage and vulnerability. Understanding that courage and vulnerability are two sides of the same coin is very important. Our authenticity invited others to see us for who we are, fostering genuine connections based on acceptance and mutual understanding. Authenticity deeply resonates with others because it acknowledges our humanity and allows for genuine relationships to flourish. Any relationship that is based on mutual respect and compassion helps us to form strong bonds that survive the east of time.

In essence, earning respect goes beyond the accumulation of material wealth, power, or superficial achievements. These things do have their own place in our lives, but they are not replacements for honesty, compassion, kindness, love, and authenticity. By living a life of making conscious choices aligned with these values, we not only earn the respect of others but also cultivate a sense of self-worth and fulfillment that transcends materialism. As we navigate life's complexities and our own challenges, let's strive not only for success but also for respect grounded in the richness of our character and the authenticity of our actions. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Fragile morality and ethics

You won't find anyone who claims not to have any ethical or moral values. Even hate-mongering leaders, ruthless dictators, mass murderers, criminals, and psychopaths claim to have moral standards and ethics. Rather, hate-mongering politicians and other people regularly use morality and ethics to propagate hate and animosity between different groups. Some people try to justify wars and genocides under the name of self-defense and/or for upholding moral principles like peace and harmony. Some people justify communal riots under the name of upholding the honor of religion or protecting that religion. I wonder when everyone believes in moral and ethical principles like love, kindness, harmony, and peace, then who are the people who are responsible for so much hatred and violence that is going on around the world. Difference of opinion is a healthy sign for any society, but who are the people who are polarizing the society? What happens to these widely publicized ethical and moral values when any country attacks another country brutally killing innocent civilians who never did anything to hurt that country? Are these moral and ethical principles so fragile that they crumble when we face any conflict and pressure? Are these moral and ethical principles so fragile that we remember them only when we are at the receiving end of hate and violence? Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

It is easy to preach peace, kindness, and love when there is no conflict and when nothing is at stake, but the time we face any threat or conflict we hang these principles out of the door and engage in all kinds of unethical and immoral acts under the name of self-defense. Yes, self-defense is necessary, responding to any violent attack is necessary, and protecting territorial interests is necessary. But it is also necessary to keep in mind the scale and proportionality of our response, to keep in mind that innocent civilians are not enemy targets but are also enemy victims. This is something we must debate as a society if at all we are serious about strong moral and ethical values. In the past and even today people all over the world remained mute spectators to the carnage of innocent civilians. We cannot allow this to continue without being labeled as hypocrites who only care about moral and ethical values only when it suits us. Currently, these values are very fragile, they break even when a little external pressure is applied to them. It is up to us to decide if we are okay with such a fragile value system or society or if we really want to practice what we preach. The choice is ours and as we judge historical events, future generations will judge us for our conveniently fragile morality and ethics.      

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

There is my truth and your truth, where is our truth?

In this era of information explosion, one may expect that people have the resources and capabilities to decipher the information and separate the facts from the fiction. Tragically, this is not what's happening. Spread of false information and propaganda is at its peak. The Internet has provided a platform to spread the good, the bad, the ugly, the dangerous, and all other types of information. People are carving out only what suits their ideology and argument. They selectively and intelligently use that carved-out information and data to validate their preconceived notions. People don't bother to verify whether the information or data they are using is reliable and verifiable, if it suits their arguments, they assume that the information is true, if it doesn't suit they discard the information as unreliable. In both cases, there is no verification for the information used or rejected. So, there is my truth and there is your truth, but there is no our truth. Our respective truths depend on which religion we follow, which gender we belong to, which country we live in, which age group we belong to, which political party or leader we support, and various other subjective parameters. As the parameters used are so subjective, the truth is also becoming subjective, and this is the biggest tragedy of this era, even after having access to so much information we are crippled with unreliable and subjective propaganda, we are so trapped in our siloes that we don't even care that we are being manipulated and brainwashed.

Also, this information tsunami is not uniting people, it's not making people more knowledgeable and flexible, but it is making people more rigid and siloed. It is making people more polarized and convinced only about their own views, and it is making people more hostile to any alternate views and ideas. People are more interested in validating the ideas of their tribe than interested in knowing the truth. They seek data and information, but only if it validates their own beliefs, the rest is either termed inaccurate or propaganda. This is where we stand today. I don't think anyone expected that we would be heading in this direction when this all started, but that is where we stand today, and unless we all appreciate our own tendencies to fall for misinformation directed at us, we will be heading to a more siloed and polarized world. People are so scared of being wrong that they aggressively reject everything that could even remotely question their ideology and beliefs. This type of behavior used to be seen only in cults, but it seems now everyone is behaving as if they are part of some cult. This cult could be their political party or leader, their ideology, or whatever group they want to be associated with. It seems people have lost their ability to offer and receive constructive criticism. The only way to deal with this hostile environment is to be patient. Listen to others, as there are more speakers than listeners, everyone has something to say but there are very few who are willing to listen. Let this outrage pass, let people vent their feelings and then let's hope that these people are willing to listen. If we cannot do this, then we will be in perpetual shouting mode, where everyone is broadcasting, but no one is listening, there will be a lot of noise but no sanity. There is my truth and there is your truth, we need to look for our truth, and we can find that only if we look together. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Unbelieving

We all have some beliefs or values. No matter how refined or rational we believe we are, we harbor some core beliefs. These beliefs are the results of our upbringing. Our family values, the religion that we are forced to accept without our informed consent, and our social and economic environment (our upbringing) all add various beliefs that shape our personality and thinking. The problem with these beliefs is that we adopt them first and then try to find every possible way to justify and defend them. That is, these beliefs or values are not well vetted, they are not evaluated before ingraining them into our system. Most of us, get them as a legacy from our environment and stick with them for the rest of our lives. If you don't believe me, just look around. How many people do you know changed the religion in which they were born? How many do you see who question the party or a leader they voted for? How many people do you see condemn the questionable behavior of their loved ones, especially their parents? How many people you see accept that they were wrong and are ready to correct (especially in politics)? Very few or none, right? It is interesting to note that people do this not because they are bad or weak, but because it is extremely difficult to unbelieve something you believe. 

Unbelieving is not easy and not many even think about it, it is that hard and uncommon. Also, note that unbelieving is not the same as unlearning. Unbelieving is scary, whereas unlearning is not. We unlearn something when we want to change our habits. Some of our beliefs could contribute to some of our habits, but it is not necessary, we harbor many beliefs that control our opinions and views without affecting our habits. To leave something we believed for long or accept that it was wrong sounds scary as many people think that changing their beliefs and values demolishes their core identity. No doubt, our beliefs and values constitute a core part of our identities, but this is why it is important to review and update them from time to time. I understand this because I have to go through a lot of unbelieving. I grew up in a very casteist, patriarchal, misogynist, and communal society. There were so many values associated with these ancient cultural aspects that were ingrained in my mind. I used to think in a particular way, used to look at people from different castes and religions in a particular way and had a very backward view about different genders. All this was challenged and tested when I read more, met with people from different regions and cultures, and finally when I immigrated to the US. It was not very comfortable to learn that I was wrong about so many things. I could have stuck with those dated values considering them as a part of my culture and tradition, many people offer this justification, so, this was an option available for me. However, when I saw that these things were wrong, no matter how old or from where I learned, I couldn't continue with them, I needed to unbeliever them and replace them with a secular and gender-unbiased set of values. These values are not also permanent, I need to test and evaluate them from time to time to confirm that they meet the high standards of humanity set by me. This is an ongoing and continuous process, that's what I call a personal evolution, it is a slow but continuous process. The first step in this process is to unbelieve everything that is outdated and biased, unbelieve everything that teaches us hate and discrimination. The Sooner we start this process, the better for us, as I said this is not easy, it is going to take time, so start as soon as you can if you have not already done so, and repeat this process regularly. We update our furniture and wardrobe regularly, so why not do the same with our values and beliefs.    

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Social media and freedom of speech

Freedom of speech is one of the coveted fundamental rights available in most developed countries, and even most developing countries claim to offer this right to their residents. Since the advent of social media, this right has been a subject of discussion, mainly due to the use of social media to spread misinformation and propaganda related to hate and social disharmony. The main issue is whether governments should regulate social media to control its contents or whether social media should be treated like we treat the individual right to freedom of speech where anonymous speech is protected? As we all know very well now, currently, social media is used by various groups and countries to spread propaganda by using anonymous accounts, especially during election times to influence the outcome of that election. No doubt, this is a serious issue. However, is it serious enough to curb one of the most valued personal rights, the right of freedom of expression? Of course, governments will argue that it is important to control social media, but as people, do we want our governments to control what we can and cannot say on social media? These are some of the questions this issue raises. Also, note that there is no absolute right to freedom of speech anywhere, there are minimum reasonable restrictions, but it seems at least on social media, these restrictions are not enough to curb the harmful effects of free speech.

Whether the government likes it or not, the reality is that social media is the new platform where most interpersonal communication happens. Nowadays, most people communicate through their devices, mainly through their phones. Even during face-to-face meetings, people are busy either posting on social media or browsing the contents of social media. People derive most of their news and other information from the internet, and mostly from social media posts. So, social media dominates our medium of expression, and this is the reason governments are interested in controlling it. Also, I agree that social media is used to spread propaganda and misinformation. People are so siloed in their information chambers either by their own choice or by algorithm manipulation that feeds them only with content that validates their ideas and opinions, it is easy to condition their minds. This is one of the main reasons why social polarization is on the rise. People treat their ideological opponents as enemies, they don't just disagree, but they also hate with whom they disagree. Why? Because they are more convinced than ever that the other side is not only wrong but that their presence is also bad for their society. This is the extent of polarization. There is also a rise in cult-like worshipping of political leaders and celebrities, there are not just followers, these followers think and behave like devotees. They do not want to hear anything critical about their demagogue. If anyone says anything critical, these devotees attack viciously. Also, countering bad speech by putting in a lot of good speech is not working that well. People with access to resources dominate any conversation by using paid or fake accounts where people post the same or similar content propagating certain views to dominate the discourse. This is where we are currently, and it is predicted to get worse from here. However, even after all the risks and drawbacks associated with social media, I don't think the government should control free speech on social media and put more restrictions than what we already have. Why? Just because once the right to free speech is compromised, it rarely returns to its original form. Imagine, how much power any government will have if they can control the biggest communication platform used by the current generation. The risks of giving control to the government outweigh the benefits. If at all they want to propose some additional reasonable restrictions, let them propose them first so that people to review and evaluate them. This is not a partisan issue, everyone's right to freedom of speech, irrespective of their party affiliation, is on the line, hence we all need to think carefully. The idea of having some order and reliability is appealing, but not at the cost of our fundamental right of freedom of speech. Let's protect our fundamental rights first, social media can take care of itself as its users mature and become aware of its strengths and weaknesses, let's give this platform some more time, it is still too early to call for any government help.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com   

Our worry chambers

We all worry. It is common for humans to worry about various things. No one teaches us how and why to worry, we pick up this habit from our surroundings and make it our own. It is also true that as we age, we start worrying more, you will hardly see a kid worrying about what will happen tomorrow, but we can see many grownups, including teenagers who worry a lot about the future. Even though uncertainty is an inherent aspect of our lives and there is nothing much we can do about it, we worry about the uncertainty in our lives. Worrying is so pervasive and addictive that we also start worrying about why we worry so much. In reality, there is no escape from worrying after we cross a certain age, we create our own worry chambers and go there more often than we should. The key is not how to stop worrying, because we just can't, the key is how we make use of our worrying habit to our advantage. We must use our worry chambers to caution us rather than cripple us, the exercise is tricky, but we must learn to use our worry chambers as precautionary stops, this is the only way to use our worry chambers rather than getting stuck in them forever.

The actual problem is not that we worry, worrying itself is not bad, it helps us to be cautious, and it makes us collect more information before making any decision, so, in a way it helps us to mitigate potential risks. The problem is when we can't stop worrying and it cripples us, we can't take any action because we are stuck in our worry chambers. "Stop worrying" is useless advice to offer others and to receive it from someone. Everyone knows we should stop worrying, but we can't do it as it is ingrained in our thinking process. Telling someone to stop worrying is like telling them to stop thinking, it is not going to happen as long as their mind is in an active state. So, one thing is clear, worrying is here to stay with us as long as we can think. One solution to this is to make worrying our strength and not our weakness. If you know that you can't get rid of worrying, learn to walk with your worries, and make them your advisor friend, a friend who will tell you about dangers and pitfalls. But don't allow that friend to dictate and control every step, allow it to walk with you, but not for you. Allow it to offer advice, but don't allow it to dictate your path. Allow it to walk behind you, not ahead of you. Allow it to take part in your inner conversations, but don't allow it to dominate those conversations. Allow it to be with you, but don't allow it to be you. This way, we can make good use of our worrying instinct, it can help us rather than cripple us. I know it is easier said than done, but it is worth a shot. We need to devise our own methods to deal with our worries, what works for me may not work for you, and vice versa. But one thing is clear, in the current era of junk information (same as junk food), we need to take care of worry chambers and make sure that we don't get stuck in them. We should use our worries to get the information and move on. Remember, thinking is only the first step, if we want to achieve our goals we also need to take action, worrying is part of the thinking process not part of our action, let our worries stand by our side while we move on by taking action and making things happen. All the very best.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com