How do you want to earn respect?

Humans are social animals. We live in groups, interact regularly, and seek continuous validation from each other. These interactions and feelings of community help us to maintain our mental and social health. Our perpetual need to seek validation from others is the major reason for the tremendous success of social media. We want our family, friends, and society to recognize and respect us. Earning respect and validation are fundamental aspects of human interaction. We find various avenues to seek this respect and validation. Power and wealth have become universal tools to command respect in every society. It is important to note that to respect power (wealth is also a form of power), is no different than what animals do, they also respect power, the might is right is the rule of the jungle. Knowingly (or unknowingly) we are following the same rule. Why are we inclined to respect power and wealth so much? Even after all these years of learning and progress why are we okay with obnoxious displays of wealth and power? Why do love, compassion, humor, and kindness not generate as much respect as wealth and power generate? I wonder if people ask these questions in today's fast-paced life.

In a world driven by materialistic pursuits and instant gratification, the quest for respect is often overshadowed by desires for wealth and power. Wealth and power are not bad things per se, it depends how a person uses them. Most, if not all rich, follow a typical lifestyle, some common elements are, living in lavish homes, having unique preferences about schools, colleges, and jobs, and noticeable use of luxury brands. Nothing wrong with any of these things. The problem is when these things become the hallmarks of earning respect and things like integrity, compassion, love, and authenticity are forgotten. In striving for respect, it is essential to acknowledge the pitfalls of a materialistic mindset. Material possessions are necessary and they do provide instant gratification, however, a life solely focused on wealth and power can lead to emptiness and a lack of fulfillment, and ultimately may fail to garner genuine respect. Also, it can foster superficial relationships based on what one has rather than who one is. Therefore, prioritizing material wealth and power as the only means to earn respect can be ultimately futile and shallow.

Another way to earn respect can stem from material wealth and power coupled with the choices we make and the values we uphold. Integrity, for instance, is one of the cornerstones of respect. Being honest, reliable, and principled in our actions establishes ourselves as individuals of character and cultivates trust and admiration from others. Compassion is another powerful quality that is becoming rare as people are getting more aggressively opinionated. Showing empathy and kindness towards others not only enriches their lives but also reflects positively on our own morals and character. When we teach others with dignity and understanding, we foster meaningful connections built on mutual respect and empathy. Many people forget this simple aspect of human interaction, especially on social media or while discussing sensitive issues, this is why we see so polarized society. Authenticity is one of the most important qualities to earn respect. Nowadays, we are so used to seeing the well-curated lives of others on social media that we forget the real colors and flavors of our own personal and social lives. Embracing our true selves, flaws, and all, demonstrates courage and vulnerability. Understanding that courage and vulnerability are two sides of the same coin is very important. Our authenticity invited others to see us for who we are, fostering genuine connections based on acceptance and mutual understanding. Authenticity deeply resonates with others because it acknowledges our humanity and allows for genuine relationships to flourish. Any relationship that is based on mutual respect and compassion helps us to form strong bonds that survive the east of time.

In essence, earning respect goes beyond the accumulation of material wealth, power, or superficial achievements. These things do have their own place in our lives, but they are not replacements for honesty, compassion, kindness, love, and authenticity. By living a life of making conscious choices aligned with these values, we not only earn the respect of others but also cultivate a sense of self-worth and fulfillment that transcends materialism. As we navigate life's complexities and our own challenges, let's strive not only for success but also for respect grounded in the richness of our character and the authenticity of our actions. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Romanticizing poverty

"Poor people are happier," "There is more empathy and compassion among the poor compared to the rich," or "Money can't buy happiness." There are many such statements that either romanticize poverty or vilify wealth. I feel both, either romanticizing poverty or vilifying wealth, are gross generalizations. People who romanticize poverty or try to paint its rosy picture normally have never been poor in their life, or if they were, they are no more living in poverty. Most who tell rosy stories about the benefits of being poor definitely won't leave their comfortable life and live among the poor if given a choice. Of course, there will be some exceptions, but this is my general observation. It is true that money can't buy you happiness but it can give you access to resources and that's the whole purpose of having money and poverty robs your access to these resources.

I can tell from my personal experience that being poor is no fun, and no one stays poor by choice. Also, there is a difference between living a simple life and being poor. Living a simple life is a matter of choice, a simple person chooses not to use or exploit the resources that we have, but in poverty, there is no such choice, as there is no access to resources in the first place. Poverty not only affects your economic state, but it also affects your social and mental state. Many times it dictates your choices and makes you feel helpless, targeted, and angry. These feelings of helplessness and anger can manifest in many different ways. Poverty affects our personal choices, and it limits our personal and professional growth. At the same time, poverty teaches you how to deal with a lack of resources. How to live with limited access to critical resources like food, education, healthcare, shelter, and some basic enjoyment like watching movies and stuff like that. Poverty affects the entire family, kids get affected differently compared to adults and there are different effects on genders depending on the culture and society where we live. This does not mean that people living in poverty never ever feel moments of happiness. As kids, we had our moments of joy, but to generalize or paint them as a life of fun and exuberance would be a gross and unjust exaggeration. Among those rare and precious moments of joy, there are moments of extreme pain and helplessness. It is no fun to watch someone being addicted. There is no fun to watch daily physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. There is no fun to watch people dying due to a lack of decent healthcare. There is no fun to watch kids drop out of school to support their families. There is no fun to watch kids getting entangled in vicious circles of crime and addiction. And it is no fun to know that this vicious cycle will keep on repeating unless we as a society can take conscious and deliberate steps to intervene. 

Some think that poor people are poor because of their faults, laziness, or lack of effort. This is a very ignorant and superficial view. As I already mentioned, no one remains poor by choice, most living in poverty try really hard, to the best of their capabilities to come out of it, but their path is riddled with many hurdles that are difficult to understand for anyone who has not lived or experienced poverty. Looking from the outside, it's easy to find faults or provide some unpractical or ignorant solutions. One simple example is related to education. There is data that shows there is a gap between the academic performances of students coming from different socioeconomic backgrounds. Students coming from well-to-do families perform better compared to students coming from underprivileged families. Based on this if someone concludes that students from well-to-do families are more intelligent or more hard-working compared to students coming from underprivileged families, it will not only be wrong but also a socially devastating conclusion. Accessibility to resources is a huge factor in this. Factors like having enough space at home to study, enough quality food to eat, access to books, access to mentors, access to pay time or free time (yes, kids need that, they are not machines to study day and night), and a supportive peer group, they all contribute to the success of any student. As long as we don't understand the impact of each and every factor on the socio-economic development of underprivileged families we are neither going to understand their problems nor going to offer any viable solution. 

In many societies, poverty has a direct correlation with race or caste. This is the result of years of suppression and discrimination. This cannot be denied, historical facts and data both support this. People to refuse to accept this are either living in denial or are ignorant or are racist or casteist. This is not a perfect correlation, it's not a mathematical formula, but it is very clear. Therefore, equity and equality both matter equally. Our social and educational programs need to focus on equity as much as they focus on equality. There is no harm or shame in recognizing our privileges and acting accordingly. Being privileged is not wrong or anything to be ashamed of, but not recognizing it and behaving as if others who don't have access to the same resources should compete with us on the same level only shows our ignorance and lack of social sensitivity. Let's be more sensitive and compassionate towards each other. Let's try to understand each other's struggles, acknowledge the difficulties we all face, and try to help each other. Let's try not to look at everything from a political or religious angle. Let's try to be more compassionate humans.

Thank you for reading and please share your views about this topic.

Why so much anger against Wall Street?

While listening to a recent Democratic party presidential candidate debate I noticed that candidates were really trying hard to distance themselves from Wall Street and project it as some sort of very dangerous or evil entity that needs to be destroyed or at least controlled using additional rules and regulations. I am not an expert on finance and trade-related laws and regulations, but I think I understand the political aspects of targeting Wall Street. More socialist-leaning candidates were more revengeful towards Wall Street organizations, so out of three candidates on the dais obviously Mr. Bernie Sanders was the one who was at the forefront of criticizing the symbol of the financial might of the US. I wonder what is the reason for so much anger which almost sounds like hatred towards Wall Street (abbreviated as WS henceforth in post)? Why do some of these candidates feel so compelled to criticize WS to please their supporters? I am sure all of them have some investment or links that are part of WS business and they all earn part of their income from those investments, but then why do they focus only on negative aspects of WS without even acknowledging that there are many good things happened because of the presence of free market?

WS is the result of a free market system, it is supposed to be a place to trade and raise capital for your business. No doubt that so many scams or bad things have happened in the past. Many people as well as organizations tried to misuse some loopholes in the existing system which resulted in economic crises. The economic disaster of 2008 is still fresh in our memories and whenever the share market starts dipping down sharply many of us who don't understand it very well worry if another 2008 is about to happen or what? So, there is no doubt that there are some concerns and apprehensions about the manure in which WS operates, but isn't this true with any system with so much power associated with it? That power can be financial, political, or military, we all look with doubt at all powerful entities. Even a democratically elected President is not spared if they don't belong to a political party that we support, so we all have some bias towards the rich and powerful and let's acknowledge it. But this doesn't mean we should paint a totally wrong picture of powerful people by completely neglecting any good things achieved by them. I don't think there is any doubt that economic prosperity is one of the major reasons why people get attracted to the US and want to emigrate here. The free market system where people feel that they will be successful entirely based on their talent and capabilities attracts many talented people from all over the world to this amazing country. I am not saying that there are no problems in this system and discrimination doesn't exist, but by and large system works well to do justice to its people. WS is an important part of this system. It allows people to build organizations and helps them to make them big, this is supposed to help in wealth creation and distribution. Many people are direct or indirect beneficiaries of this ecosystem. Definitely, uneven wealth distribution is a serious problem and something must be done about it, but at least wealth is created and the truth is that currently there is no better alternative that seems to be as reliable as this. Many of the objections raised by these people who seem to be fierce opponents of WS about the unequal distribution of wealth and rising economic disparity are true and valid, but some of the solutions offered by them are equally horrible and unpractical. It seems they intend to destroy this working system that has some glitches without even having an alternative that can be at least as good as the current system. It is very easy to criticize and destroy, but then at least provide some viable alternative to the present system before ordering its destruction. There are no examples of successful countries or societies based on any single ideology, let it be capitalism, socialism, communism, or any other "ism." What works best is always a mixture of good things from each ideology based on the requirements of that particular society. Therefore, I don't understand why are we so eager to draw so rigid lines and reject something because it belongs to some other "ism" that we don't support. Why call socialism evil or capitalism evil when both of them have some good aspects and some bad? Why not take the best ideas from all ideologies that suit our society and make something good for most people in our society?

I always wonder how long this fight between different ideologies will continue? Why can't be there interdisciplinary collaboration between all these ideologies like scientists do between different disciplines of science? Is it so difficult or humiliating to accept that there can be some bad and outdated elements in socialism, communism, and capitalism? Is it so difficult to understand that communism is not a very practical idea in today's aspirational world? None of these ideas are completely right or wrong, the only thing is that some parts of them are no longer relevant today, some parts are not practical anymore, or some parts are bad and not acceptable in a democratic society with freedom to choose and express. Is it so difficult to accept the shortcomings of any "ism" for its supporters? Maybe it is difficult, but we need to acknowledge these things and move on, if we become adamant about accepting or rejecting any system completely, then we will never solve this deadlock and keep on arguing endlessly about who is right and who is wrong. Please don't hesitate to highlight any drawbacks associated with any system, capitalism or WS is not an exception to this. Highlight loopholes in the law, highlight its misuse, and question policies based on data and logic, but not based on populism and appeasement. The way it is done now sounds like hatred and anger directed toward the rich and powerful, this attitude is only going to create a social divide and nothing else. Maybe it will help to win some elections, but definitely, it won't help to solve the real problem. So, it will be better if we use this anger to offer constructive criticism and not to vilify any entity. Before destroying the current house, at least propose a viable plan for a new house, let's discuss rather than fight.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]