How to deal with the onslaught of the cult of positivity?

Who doesn't like to be positive, right? However, is it possible to remain positive in each and every situation of one's life? Is it even normal to try to be positive all the time? Definitely not. There are bound to be ups and downs in everyone's life. We are going to feel the highs and lows in our personal and professional lives. If we check, we can find thousands of videos on various platforms of social media that only talk about how to be positive, and how to be happy. There are very few that discuss how to deal with every kind of emotion: positive, negative, neutral, everything. Many of these videos are good and they can help a person overcome frustration or get motivated to take up new challenges, but at the same time, they are creating what I call "a cult of positivity." These so-called motivational gurus intentionally or unintentionally group human emotions into two categories: good and bad. Positivity, optimism, love, etc. all are good, and anger, frustration, anxiety, fear, discomfort, etc. are all in the negative bucket.  

This cult of positivity has become so strong and dominant that even when you try to talk about the possibility of a different outcome than a person desires, they label you as a pessimist or a negative person. People are not willing to listen or even consider that there might be another possibility that needs some consideration. Don't get me wrong, there is no problem with being positive, it helps in many ways, but at the same time other emotions are as natural, and many times they are very much required to have a proper understanding of the world around us.  People do feel angry, frustrated, anxious, or depressed and such people are not pessimistic or people filled only with negative emotions. Such people can also have equal zeal and love for life. These so-called motivational leaders talk as if a person should always be high on adrenaline and willing to jump a cliff no matter what, and if we show a slight hesitation or reluctance, then we are a failure or should be ashamed of ourselves.  However, this is not how real life is, we can feel apprehension, doubt, fear, feelings of being lost, lonely, sad, rejected, stressed, remorseful, angry, and jealous. These are just a few and there are many emotions to add to this list, and all these emotions are as natural as feeling positive. 

We need to feel optimistic and positive, no one can deny that. At the same time, too much of anything is bad, as it is said: "The dose makes the poison." Too much of any emotion is bad, if our stress, anxiety, or depression becomes chronic, we should get professional help. Demonizing these feelings doesn't help. Many people are reluctant to accept that they feel these so-called negative emotions just because they are worried that they will be judged if they speak about these emotions. We need to learn how to deal with this cult of positivity. I notice that people smitten by this cult are scared of anything that has a connotation of negativity or vulnerability. People prefer to shield themselves in a false sense of security and do not want to be perceived as vulnerable, they feel being vulnerable means being weak, and this is not natural. We need to equip ourselves with a proper emotional balance so that we can understand when this dose of positivity or any other emotion is reaching the level of being toxic. There is no one-size-fits-all solution for this, as everyone's capacity to deal with a particular emotion is different. This is why, we should not hesitate to talk about all emotions, not just the ones which people appreciate (so-called positive ones). This will allow each emotion to get its due recognition and will remove the guilt factor from people who feel the emotions that normally don't get any space in day-to-day discussions (so-called negative ones).  

The human mind is a very complex thing and just one emotion cannot define its good or bad health. We need to strike the emotional balance and the path to striking that balance demands to recognize and accept the presence and need of every emotion. 

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

You will be fine

"You will be fine," is a simple and short sentence, but it can have a profound effect on your mental state if you hear these words at the right time. Many times, we go through a rough phase in our lives. We struggle or face challenges that seem difficult to overcome in our personal or professional lives. Some obstacles look too big to overcome. Some tasks look too onerous to finish. Sometimes we feel drained because of our efforts just to stay afloat. Sometimes we do not know whether we are moving in the right direction or not. Sometimes there is too much uncertainty in life, or we get overwhelmed by so many things on our plate. Under these situations, we really want someone to say "You will be fine."

One day I was walking to my work, sad and dejected because of the sad news of someone close passing away, having no clue about whether I would survive in a new field where I was trying to establish myself, in general feeling very low, and I read "you will be fine" written on a wall while my way to work. It really helped. I smiled after reading it, it instantly made me feel hopeful and optimistic. Someone saying that we will be fine is not going to reduce the intensity of our struggle or the difficulty of our challenges but it will have a positive effect on us. It makes us more optimistic that we can go through that phase successfully. My wife Reena is a great support for me, she is my eternal "you will be fine" person, as she believes that I can do anything and always encourages me to chase my dreams. Reena is not scared to walk with me on a path that is different than the path that others around us take. I really admire her courage and many times derive my strength from her support. I am lucky to have such a person around me. However, our loved ones can't be with us everywhere, sometimes you need some extra support from people around you,  and that's when such assurance from someone else can help. For me, it was the writing on a wall by some artist, for someone it can be a coworker, a friend, a book, a quote, or some other person. We all should try to be supportive of people around us as we do not know from what phase of life they are going. They might be feeling really low and that one encouraging gesture from us might be enough for them to gather the strength that they need to overcome that obstacle, to survive that vulnerable moment.

Stress and anxiety are an integral part of modern-day life, we all need to deal with it and many times solutions to the big problems are through small steps. If we can help each other by being genuinely supportive then why not do it. Remember, having a healthy atmosphere around us will also make us more happy and healthy, it will also motivate us and if one day we need some support we will have an ecosystem around us that is capable of offering that support. We all should try to build such an ecosystem and as we all know any good work should start with us. We should initiate by being supportive and encouraging. Please be supportive and encouraging. It is okay to push people and motivate them to do their best. It is okay to demand high standards and performance. At the same time, when people feel low, it is necessary to offer them support and motivation that can help them overcome failures, stress, and worries. Give it a try, believe me, you will be fine.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.