Unbelieving

We all have some beliefs or values. No matter how refined or rational we believe we are, we harbor some core beliefs. These beliefs are the results of our upbringing. Our family values, the religion that we are forced to accept without our informed consent, and our social and economic environment (our upbringing) all add various beliefs that shape our personality and thinking. The problem with these beliefs is that we adopt them first and then try to find every possible way to justify and defend them. That is, these beliefs or values are not well vetted, they are not evaluated before ingraining them into our system. Most of us, get them as a legacy from our environment and stick with them for the rest of our lives. If you don't believe me, just look around. How many people do you know changed the religion in which they were born? How many do you see who question the party or a leader they voted for? How many people do you see condemn the questionable behavior of their loved ones, especially their parents? How many people you see accept that they were wrong and are ready to correct (especially in politics)? Very few or none, right? It is interesting to note that people do this not because they are bad or weak, but because it is extremely difficult to unbelieve something you believe. 

Unbelieving is not easy and not many even think about it, it is that hard and uncommon. Also, note that unbelieving is not the same as unlearning. Unbelieving is scary, whereas unlearning is not. We unlearn something when we want to change our habits. Some of our beliefs could contribute to some of our habits, but it is not necessary, we harbor many beliefs that control our opinions and views without affecting our habits. To leave something we believed for long or accept that it was wrong sounds scary as many people think that changing their beliefs and values demolishes their core identity. No doubt, our beliefs and values constitute a core part of our identities, but this is why it is important to review and update them from time to time. I understand this because I have to go through a lot of unbelieving. I grew up in a very casteist, patriarchal, misogynist, and communal society. There were so many values associated with these ancient cultural aspects that were ingrained in my mind. I used to think in a particular way, used to look at people from different castes and religions in a particular way and had a very backward view about different genders. All this was challenged and tested when I read more, met with people from different regions and cultures, and finally when I immigrated to the US. It was not very comfortable to learn that I was wrong about so many things. I could have stuck with those dated values considering them as a part of my culture and tradition, many people offer this justification, so, this was an option available for me. However, when I saw that these things were wrong, no matter how old or from where I learned, I couldn't continue with them, I needed to unbeliever them and replace them with a secular and gender-unbiased set of values. These values are not also permanent, I need to test and evaluate them from time to time to confirm that they meet the high standards of humanity set by me. This is an ongoing and continuous process, that's what I call a personal evolution, it is a slow but continuous process. The first step in this process is to unbelieve everything that is outdated and biased, unbelieve everything that teaches us hate and discrimination. The Sooner we start this process, the better for us, as I said this is not easy, it is going to take time, so start as soon as you can if you have not already done so, and repeat this process regularly. We update our furniture and wardrobe regularly, so why not do the same with our values and beliefs.    

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com