Who is Guilty?

This is a very special post, that's why it might look very emotional, lengthy, or even over the top, many incidents mentioned here are directly or indirectly from my real-life experience.

Recently I wrote a post about the book Bhagavad Gita As It Is, I discussed a few lines and paragraphs from that book that I found highly objectionable and shallow in their content. I thought those lines were conveying the wrong message to its readers. I received lots of positive as well as negative feedback about this post, on the blog and also on Facebook where I share my all posts. People wondered how come I could not ignore a few comments from the book, many books make these types of comments and people should ignore them. This book is not a novel or any magazine for entertainment purposes, it is one of the religious books which people study, read, and derive their beliefs from. Some said it's a great book because it attracts a lot of devotees from the Western world towards Hinduism (I think most people can become ISKON members after reading this book but not Hindu, as the book is not about Hinduism). Many also advised me that as a Hindu myself, I should feel happy that my religion is spreading in the world because of this book. Some said it was a just small black spot on big white paper, I should look at the white paper, not the black spot. But I disagree with all of them, any religious book, Bhagavad Gita, Bible, Qu'ran or their translations or any other book if it preaches hatred or discrimination against women or any section of society should be condemned and exposed in a timely manner otherwise consequences can be disastrous. Many of these small black spots have over time become black pages of our history, for example, untouchability, casteism, Sati Pratha (burning of a woman alive along with her husband after her husband's death), child marriage, forced widowhood, slavery, racial discrimination, and many more things.

I mainly objected to the lines from the book which according to me spread the message of hatred about nonbelievers and treat women as inferior sex compared to men. I have seen enough hatred and women suppression in my life. As a kid, I watched the life of my Nani (my maternal Grandma, in Uttar Pradesh from where I come, we call Nana and Nani to maternal Grandpa and Grandma). She was a great lady, uneducated but with great courage and great devotion towards God. She became a widow at a very young age (maybe 20 or 22), soon after my mother's birth. Society at that time treated widows very kindly but not very fairly. Men after their wife's death could remarry within months, but women were not allowed to remarry. In the event of their husband's death first of all they used to get the blame for that death (bad omen), then widowhood was forced on them. Their heads used to get shaved, and they were only allowed to wear white or any pale-colored clothes, no ornaments, and no makeup (reason: to protect them so that other men don't get attracted towards them). They have to behave as if they are not alive, they used to be there as shadows of their bodies, devoid of any color, any desires, just moving bodies. My Nani at least had a daughter to look after, she devoted all her attention toward her but many are even not that lucky. She was very well respected because of her kind behavior and dedication toward God, she always worked hard. I always saw her doing some work for somebody she never sat quietly as if she didn't know how to rest, as if her life depended on her usefulness in the family. She used to be possessed by a ‘Deity’ or ‘Devi [‘Devi Angat Yene’(in Marathi)] sometimes. [During this condition, the individual completely transforms his or her expression and behavior (personality) to resemble some deity. The person is then supposed (or pretends) to be possessed by a deity during that period. He/she behaves in a convincing manner, making appropriate actions and sounds to appear as if he is in a trance and pretends to know answers to all questions by devotees surrounding her/him]. This still happens in many villages and it is mostly women who do it. I knew this was not the real herself, but I think this was her only chance to command, her only chance to dominate the world around her, her only chance to dictate terms and feel in control of something. She never complained about her situation, she believed it was her fate, and she saw how other widows are treated in society. Her belief in God was unshaken. She was convinced that it was how God wanted them to live, it was how written in the scriptures, what she or people around can do? Nothing, as it was all her fate and her fault. I salute her every time I remember her, it's not easy to live life like that, she is the person who gave me the inspiration to fight against all these malpractices. She and the people around her were not bad, but were hypnotized by centuries of false propaganda about these scriptures, how men are superior to women, how women are to blame for their misfortune, and how women or girl child is a burden on a family.  Their thinking was paralyzed and society was conditioned to think in a particular way. Pundits, many scholars quoted lines from scriptures to authenticate these traditions, to support these beliefs.

She died at the age of ~60, I wonder whether she ever lived her life after her husband's death, she only lived for others after that fateful tragedy. That single incident defined the rest of her life. Sati Pratha was banned decades ago. After the sati ban, a widow was not burned alive after their husband's death but was not allowed to live a normal life either. The widowhood was forced on them. I knew something was wrong, how God can be so cruel to some people for no fault of theirs? But I realized later it was not God, it was God's words, the words from the Vedas, Gita, Bible, Qu'ran, and many other scriptures used to justify these acts. People twisted words, extracted whatever meaning they wanted, gave references from age-old books that have no relevance in today's world, and justified these practices. They gave a divine angle to their desire to rule, desire to use women and other weak sections of society for their benefit. I saw it happening with many other people, including my neighbors, and my sisters, they were suppressed just because they were women. "God made them women and now they should behave and live as God wants women to behave and live, we can't interfere in this, it's God's will," this was the justification offered for these things. We worshiped women in our society, but never asked them if they wanted to get worshiped or not? Qualities like tolerance, patience, selflessness, and dedication are good, but they were forced on women so that they won't be able to even protest where it's necessary to protest. Their wings were clipped so they couldn't fly and after some time they forgot that they could fly also. They started believing it was not meant for them. People of my generation who lived in Indian villages and even in some cities must have seen many women like this, and I hope they understand what I am talking about.

The reason why I am so sensitive towards such comments about women or weaker sections of society lies in all these experiences. I can understand Dr. Ambedkar's anger when he said 'I was born as a Hindu but will never die as a Hindu'. I can understand when in spite of being a woman she doesn't want to give birth to a girl child, even willing to kill her, she is scared to bring her into this world, did we ask why?. It's not only her who is responsible for this, it's the society, it's the years of discrimination, it's the justification of male dominance and preference, and the belief that women are inferior to men, and yes, holy books, they have their share in this crime too. If these books get the credit for all the good things which are in our society, these books should share the blame for these bad practices also. This prejudice and fear are deeply rooted in society, unless we remove this we cannot stop any of the above, laws can only be effective to a limited extent, and we need to reform the thinking of society. 

This article is not against Hinduism or any society, culture, or country. I was born in a Hindu family and lived my most of life in India, that's why most experiences are from there. India is my motherland, a beautiful place, and a lovely country. I am sure people from other religions and countries must have faced or seen similar situations in their lives and might have felt similar pain. A lot of things have changed now, and the situation is now much more improved in urban areas of India but still, a lot needs to be done, and we cannot allow the wheels of time to go backward by neglecting such texts, as you never know which holy book might become authoritative in future and people start following it.

It is not only about my grandma and her life, but it is about the countless women (and other social classes like untouchables) who suffered and are still suffering because of this prejudice. We all can point fingers at each other, each generation will point the finger at its previous generation and say they started it, we just followed. I am sure this long trail of blame will end with some person (or a group of people) who twisted the meaning of texts to preach their own philosophy or even they might point their finger at some book, whose authors we are not sure about, they are long dead and that book can't defend itself, so who is guilty here?. Are those women guilty, just because they were born as a woman? Is society guilty, which watched this happening and even participated in crime actively? Are those males guilty who believe that women are inferior to them? Are we guilty who still can't convince people to correct mistakes if they find them in the scriptures or in any holy book? The book becomes important because of its readers, and the movement becomes popular because of its followers, so we all are part of this crime, and we cannot escape the blame.  Now it's our chance to rectify it, so let's not make the same mistake.

If people can't understand after reading the reason behind my reaction to certain lines from "Bhagavad Gita as it is" then they may never understand it. I share my views on the blog, so I thought I should also share the reason behind those views. It's a very long post, but the topic is very important and close to my heart. Thanks for reading and for your patience, please share your views.

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)