When Remaining Silent Is Not an Option

What will you do when you see a civilian being shot by a law-enforcement agent in broad daylight? What will you do when lawyers and judges are threatened and intimidated for passing judgments or representing clients who do not align with the government in power? What will you do when academic institutions are bullied and coerced for practicing policy independence and academic freedom?

Ignore it, because these issues seem larger than your individual sphere of influence? Remain silent, because your voice may feel insignificant? Grow cynical, believing that nothing you say or do can possibly change what is happening?

One can debate what should be done and how far individual responsibility extends. But one thing is clear to me: remaining silent is not an option. Silence is not neutral. It can be read as acceptance, even complicity. Our silence does not merely turn us into bystanders; it enables and emboldens those who commit blatant violations of human rights.

Silence is often described as golden, but only when it has a positive effect. When silence enables destruction, cruelty, and injustice, it ceases to be a virtue. In such moments, silence becomes a moral failure. No responsible and sensible citizen should choose it under any circumstances.

I understand that protesting on the streets or attending town halls may not be possible for everyone. People have constraints: work, family, health, and fear. But in today’s world, silence is no longer the only alternative to physical protest. There are many ways to raise one’s voice. This blog is one such avenue, my small attempt to speak up rather than look away. Whether it has any measurable impact is not in my control. History will decide that.

Not all battles are fought to win. Some must be fought simply to register that someone cared enough to resist. Speaking up matters because it disrupts the comfort of perpetrators. It reminds them that they are being seen, questioned, and challenged, even if only by words.

When misinformation floods our discourse, when hate is normalized, when resentment is amplified, remaining silent is not an option. When love and compassion are mocked as weakness and violence is glorified as strength, silence becomes surrender.

Speak up. Even if your voice trembles. Even if it feels small. Even if you are scared. Speak so that kindness and compassion survive this onslaught of hatred and fear. Because silence, at such times, is not peace, it is permission.

Thank you for reading, and please share your views on this topic.

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved. Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Signs of a closed mind

"This is who I am." "This is how it has always been done." "Because that's our culture." These are just a few statements we hear people around us saying or saying ourselves, either casually or purposely. We use these statements to demonstrate that our prior experiences dictate our current and future decisions. However, in reality, we are expressly admitting that who we have been in the past will control our future, and we are not open to any challenges to our beliefs and values. In short, we accept that we are prisoners of our past. This is not a sign of self-growth, but one of the signs of a closed mind. The general perception is that people who do not have access to information or knowledge suffer from closed minds. However, this perception has been proven wrong as even with access to unlimited information people are becoming more guarded about their beliefs. That is, they chose to close their minds rather than being open to contrary information. 

Why do people do this? Well, there can be multiple reasons, but one of the major reasons is, fear of change and comfort of the status quo. Change is uncomfortable, especially, when we have to change or update our beliefs, or modify our behavior. We do not like to accept that we are wrong, especially, when it comes to our personal, religious, or political beliefs. We feel these beliefs are part of our identity and are reluctant to change them. We try our best to resist change, no matter how factual or accurate the evidence is to prove us wrong. This is when we show the symptoms of a closed mind. We take shelter from whatever lame reasons we can find to justify our stance. However, no matter how much we try, it is not possible to run away from facts. Truth doesn't disappear just because we close our eyes. A closed mind might offer temporary comfort, but sooner or later we are bound to face reality and if we remain truthful to ourselves realize our mistake. 

What's the solution? Check regularly if you have any symptoms of a closed mind. If yes, consciously try to update your knowledge and make sure that your sources of information are diverse and verified. We have access to resources that were not available to humans at any point in history so far, it will be shameful if we don't make proper use of these resources. Be informed and be open-minded. All the very best. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

How to deal with our fears

Fear is not something people like to discuss. It is a taboo subject for a public conversation. Most people prefer to project themselves as a fearless person. Even with social media where people share so much, people do not want to accept that they have fears, comfortable in sharing their vulnerabilities, and discuss how to deal with them. It seems to have any fear is considered a sign of weakness and strong people must be devoid of any fears. So, is it really so bad to have any fear, and if you do have any fear or fears then what to do? 

I have no hesitation in accepting that I am not a fearless person. I have some fears that I cannot get rid of, no matter how much I try. According to me, fear is an emotion like any other emotion and it is one of the reasons for our existence on this planet. Our ancestors were fearful of many things and that's why they survived many hostile and dangerous situations that many fearless creatures didn't. So, it is natural and humane to be fearful. There is a reason why our evolution didn't get rid of this emotion. However, it is not good to be overburdened by our fears all the time. This overburdening of fearfulness can either debilitate us or affect our personal and professional lives in a bad way. However, if we use our fears as energy, then it can fuel our actions to deal with them. I can't get rid of all my fears as it is impossible for me to do it. The more I try the more they persist. To avoid this consuming and tiring exercise of getting rid of all my fears, I try to walk with my fears that I cannot get rid of and use them as checkpoints or motivators to do something better. I have some fears that accompany me, but none of them hinder my day-to-day life, many of them protect me from doing things that may hurt me. By being aware of my fears, I do not allow them to walk ahead of me but let them walk behind me and use them to fuel my actions. I try to use them as a shield rather than treating them as my enemies. For example, when I am fearful of making a decision I do extra scrutiny and try to get more information before taking that decision; when I am fearful of my prejudices, I check my statements and behavior more often to make sure I am not falling to prey to propaganda; and when I am fearful of failure or committing a mistake, I tell myself that failures and mistakes are part of our lives and it is important to learn our lesson from them and move on.

Even though people prefer to project themselves as a fearless person one can see that they are actually fearful inside. Especially, in today's world we can see people's fears even when they try to mask them cleverly. Hate politics is one such example. All these so-called tough and fearless people openly use fear to fuel hate among their supporters. These leaders create fictitious enemies to cultivate feelings of fear and use this fear to instill hate. This is an ideal example of the misuse of fear for political rewards. It is true, that fear and the resulting hate have been a potent political weapon for years that's why I am not talking just about today's polarized political climate but I am talking about the politics of hate in general. 

Having fear does not make us weak, similarly, being fearless doesn't make us strong. Having fear is not bad, allow your fear to come in, remember, the more you resist the more it persists. Allow your fear to come in, but do not allow it to lead, keep it as a companion. Fear is a form of energy that we can use either for our benefit or detriment, the choice is ours. We can allow them to walk behind or with us as our companions and use them whenever necessary to take some protective steps or we can allow them to overpower us and dictate our every action. The choice is ours because the fear is ours.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Fear of failure

Why do people hesitate to pursue the career of their dreams? Why do people hesitate to switch once they find their job or career boring or burdensome? Why do people hesitate to study nontraditional fields that no one around them studied? One common answer to all these questions is "fear of failure." Fear of failure is not just about failure, it is more about being judged as a failure. 

There is a difference between actually failing at something and being judged as a failure. We fail for so many reasons, lack of preparation, underestimating the difficulty, better competitors, or plain bad luck. Sometimes things because of which we fail are not in even our hands, for example, if we miss the exam because our car broke down or we miss the train, there is nothing we can do about it. Most people are not scared of these types of failures, but being judged as a failure is an altogether different animal. Even if you are doing or trying to do something you love or still trying to figure out what to do, people may judge you as a failure based on your family, social, and economic background. People judge an engineer's child just because he or she did not choose to study engineering but chose music. If a doctor's child doesn't become a doctor and chooses any other profession that is supposed to be riskier and less monetary rewarding, people judge them and many feel sympathy towards these parents as if their kids failed them. Many people from my circle assume that my kids will be doing either science or law because I have that background and both fields are considered lucrative career options. I admire and applaud kids who chose to travel a different path. It is not easy, fear of failure is not an easy thing to overcome. I face this fear, and this is why I chose science as people told me arts has no future and commerce is for business-savvy people. Both pieces of advice were completely wrong but they affected my decisions, because of fear that I may end up without any job if I didn't study science. 

Also, the Asian community overseas is stereotyped as a science and tech-savvy community, which is far from true. Just because mostly STEM-educated people from India and China come to the USA or other countries doesn't mean that everyone in India or China is only good in science-related fields. The Asians are interested in arts like writing and music, they also love cinema and theater, they also like to be entrepreneurs in areas other than science, and they also want to tell their stories. However, many Asian kids are not encouraged to take these paths and are coerced or brainwashed to take more traditional careers that are considered as safe and monetarily rewarding. 

I always encourage kids who want to pursue a different career path than the so-called safe career choices. This is not easy, ask anyone who tried this. These kids face a lot of anxiety and get a lot of unsolicited advice that is offered with good intentions but under the assumption that these kids are lost and misguided. It is not easy to try to enter a profession that is not commonly pursued in your community, where you don't know anyone, and where you don't have any example to follow from your community or family. This requires courage and self-belief, more than any other common profession that they could have chosen. Note that in these common professions, there may not have been anyone from their family, but just because these professions are so well structured there is less risk and a more defined career path that reduces entry barriers. Therefore, be proud if you are trying to chart an uncommon path. Seek the support of your family, and if they don't offer any support, then find a mentor who can support you. Be patient and believe in yourself, the path may be tough and uncertain, the entry barrier may be high, and you may face many failures, but you are on a journey to achieve something that no one around you dared to do, and that itself is commendable. Fear of failure will be there, but make that your strength and not a weakness, use that fear to better prepare yourself and give yourself the option to fail. Failures don't define us, our grit, determination, and willingness to struggle do define our character. Success is not always the ultimate destination, many times it is the journey that we take that matters more than the ultimate destination. All the very best. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com   

Barriers to public speaking

Public speaking is one of the most feared endeavors, most of us dread the scenario of speaking in front of people. No matter how trivial the subject is or how small the gathering is, we try to avoid as much as possible speaking in front of a group of people. Why? Is this because of fear of failure, fear of being laughed at, or fear of being not good at public speaking? What does it even mean to be good at public speaking? Is there a certain specific format for being a good public speaker? Most people think that there is. We are told to emulate certain best public speaking practices. I was a member of the Toastmasters club where people get trained in public speaking skills. It was a great learning experience for me, I really enjoyed my time at the Toastmasters. However, I feel that we put barriers to public speaking by prescribing a certain format for it, it discourages many who can't or don't want to adopt it. Let me explain why.

We are told that public speakers must speak in a certain way, and use certain mannerisms, posture, and language. Good public speakers should do this and should not do that. This all makes most of us feel that the art of public speaking is difficult and it is not for us. We started buying the idea that public speaking is for a few gifted people with dynamic personalities who are great storytellers. This is far from true. It is correct that few gifted people are comfortable with their storytelling abilities, but we all have this ability, we just differ in our styles of storytelling. By stereotyping public speaking, we put huge barriers to public speaking for people who have interesting stories to tell, and want to tell, but are scared because they don't see themselves as dynamic public speakers. We miss so many interesting stories and experiences just because people with these stories think they are not qualified enough to share them. The result of all this is that only certain stories get told, only certain sections of society have a monopoly over public speaking space, and most of us are spectators trying to find glimpses of our own stories among the stories told without bothering to tell our own story in our own words. Feeling fear and anxiety about public speaking is natural and even most experts feel it, this should not be a barrier or reason for not doing it. Also, whether you are an extrovert or an introvert should not matter, as both have stories to tell and the ability to tell. The result of all this is that most of us rely on others to tell our stories, we keep searching for glimpses of our tales in others' tales. 

There is no harm in learning prescribed techniques or standard practices of public speaking. However, not learning these skills, or the inability to learn them should not stop us from sharing our stories. We all have our unique styles. People can bring diverse ways of public speaking by expressing themselves in different styles and manners. People from India don't have to follow the same style as people from Africa or America and vice versa. With our own styles and backgrounds, we bring diversity to storytelling. It is not just the diversity of stories that matters, the diversity of styles and storytellers also matters. By having diverse styles of storytelling we can expand the reach of public speaking. If more and more people see people like them sharing their views, opinions, and stories, many more will be encouraged to do the same. 

Social media has already expanded the reach of expression of ideas and sharing. Social media platforms like YouTube, Instagram, and Ticktock have already started breaking these barriers to public speaking. Many are actively engaged in storytelling without subscribing to the standard protocols of public speaking. This is great, this is the beginning of removing the barriers to public speaking. I hope this trend continues and slowly we don't feel the need to train people in the art of public speaking. We already know how to speak and share our stories, public speaking is just another incident of engaging in conversation with a larger audience using our own style and flair, let's do it more often.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Fear of being judged

Fear of being judged is a real fear among individuals. We fear being judged based on various parameters, some examples are being judged based on our gender, age, religion, nationality, education, job, sexual orientation, political views, marital or familial status. Getting judged based on our parenting or the way our kids perform is one of them. 

A survey of parents revealed that about 90% of mothers and 85% of fathers feel judged, and almost half of them feel judged all the time by people they know and even by complete strangers. This fear makes them try various things so that they can overcome feelings of their own insecurities and avoid being labeled as irresponsible parenting. Tiger parenting, free-range parenting, liberal parenting, conservative parenting, and whatnot, parents look in every direction and source to find some tips to raise successful kids. They all intend that their kids will become successful and be happy. However, in this process, parents don't realize that they are engineering the life of their child as per their own wishes and inclinations, they are shaping their child's thinking, even dictating choices based on their own prejudices, and for a considerable time, that child has no say in his or her own life. Parenting is complex, and these aspects make it more complex and confusing, this is one of the reasons why most parents choose the prescribed or most popular format, at least that format guarantees a certain outcome in most cases, a so-called successful child, who is going to have standard education and a well-paying job. 

So, how to deal with the fear of being judged? Well, you can't stop people from judging you, but you can stop your actions from being influenced by the fear of that judgment. It's not easy and in practice, no one accepts that their actions are influenced by what others will say, but in reality, they are. When in any society most people follow a certain pattern, it establishes certain norms. One can sense that these norms are based on the way certain behavior, let's call it a confirmative behavior, is rewarded and praised, and other behaviors not fitting in the set pattern, a non-confirmative behavior, is criticized or called a risky behavior. It is really up to individual parents how they want to parent their children. Every child is different, even between two siblings one cannot expect the same behavior even after being raised in the same household with the same parents, it is that uncertain, but as parents, we want to bring certainty as it comforts us. However, parents' desire to play safe, or have a certain outcome has resulted in homes becoming factories for raising standardized kids, who conform to their parent's desires and choices. Legally child labor is banned, but now school work and extracurricular activities have become a legal form of child labor, kids are forced to do these things to an extent their parents want them to do, it really doesn't matter whether the kids want or not. Therefore, it's really up to parents to notice what they are doing as kids have very little say in all this, there are risks associated with every parenting style as nothing guarantees the desired outcome, but at least parents can choose not to be a dictator but be a facilitator. Let's be a facilitator as much as we can because no matter how good, dictatorship is after all a dictatorship with no freedom for a non-dictating party and our kids do deserve the freedom to be themselves, not our own shadows or not what we can't become but wanted to become.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

We cannot become good at something by not doing it

Many of us harbor fear for many things in our personal and professional lives. Some of us fear public speaking, some about writing, some about expressing their opinions because they think they can't articulate their opinions properly or people will laugh at them, and some fear taking initiative. We can add many things to make this list more comprehensive but I think you got my point. Many of these fears are due to our failures when we tried some of those things for the first time; maybe our first presentation was a disaster, maybe when we tried to express our opinion people didn't understand it as there was no clarity, maybe some of us think that we cannot write. The problem with such fears is that we try our best to avoid doing the things that we think we are not good at. In spite of knowing that we might need those skills to progress professionally and personally, we try to avoid taking any steps to master those skills due to our fear. We somehow feel that one fine day suddenly we are going to get better and overcome those hurdles or somehow we can progress by avoiding them altogether, but this is just wishful thinking. We face many situations where we need to speak in front of the public or we are told to express our ideas. Due to a lack of preparation or a belief that we somehow could manage it, we flounder and are not happy with our performance. Such instances solidify our fears as we don't perform any better than our previous attempts as we never tried to fix the original problem problem. The only way to overcome our fears is to practice the skills that we lack or need to improve. There is no way to master anything without practicing it, we need to do the things regularly that we need to master. Regular practice is not necessary only in sports but in each and every skill which we want to master.

I suggest one approach to overcome such fears: make a list of things that you want to learn or improve, prioritize that list as per your need or preference, and then start acting on one item at a time. It is not advisable to start working on each and every item from the list at the same time unless you have enough stamina and time to devote to each of them. Choose the platform and community where you are most comfortable, this is very important as you will need a very encouraging atmosphere at least in the beginning. The journey of personal development is not easy, it requires a hard push as well as a cushion of support. If you have some other responsibilities, like work or study, it is advisable to practice at your own comfort level so that you can handle everything without getting overwhelmed. The journey should be fun and challenging at the same time. It should not be burdensome and affect other parts of your life negatively. Of course, this approach will require an honest effort and sincere commitment from our side, it will test our patience as there will be many challenges and failures, but remember persistence helps and there are no shortcuts to achieving amazing things. If you want to improve on something start working on it, this is the only way to improve. We cannot become good at something by not doing it. All the very best.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

My fear of needles and my blood donation experience

I am not that comfortable with needles. I dislike the feeling of getting a flu shot or whenever they draw blood for testing. I am sure many people don't like to get poked by a needle, especially during a medical exam. Some don't like it because of some past bad experiences, some due to pain, and some are just not comfortable with that feeling of being poked with the needle. For me, it's not about the pain, because it doesn't hurt that much, many other injuries hurt way more than the pain that I feel because of needles, and normally the encounter with the needles is just a matter of a few seconds. I am also not scared of needles in general as I use them in the lab almost every day to transfer or add a variety of reagents to my chemical reactions. I just don't like that feeling, but it won't be wrong to say that I fear needles, this is why going for a blood donation was a big challenge for me. I donated blood for the first time in India when I was in college. I don't recollect that I was worried or scared of needles at that time, maybe the presence of friends, a very young age, or some other emotion took care of this fear. Since I came to the USA, I wanted to donate blood but didn't get a chance to because the Red Cross doesn't accept blood at least for one year if you visit any country like India. For the last few years, I have visited India almost every year, so I was not qualified to donate blood.

This year I was qualified as I didn't visit India. I went for the blood donation and passed all their initial screening tests. Then the time came to go for actual donation. I was worried it was not going to be very easy for me to tolerate a needle in my arm for so long time. The needle was going to stay in my vein for at least 20-30 minutes if not more, and it was not a very comforting thought for me. The lab technician found the vein from which she wanted to draw the blood easily, but when she inserted the needle somehow she missed it and then she tried to search for it by moving the needle. It was a really uncomfortable feeling, it lasted for 1-2 minutes, but that process was the worst part of the entire blood donation. Eventually, they did find the vein and I could donate the blood successfully.

The nurse turned out to be a Trump supporter, she voted for Mr. Trump and initially, she was hesitant to talk more about that. But when I told her that it was her right to choose the candidate, which she thought was suitable for the job and she should not be hesitant to talk about it just because she is living in a Democratic state. We discussed quite a bit about the election and I told her my point of view about this presidential election. I clearly told her that I also liked some of Mr. Trump's proposed policy measures, and from the beginning, I thought that he was a dark horse in the presidential race. I even wrote a blog post about him a few months back. But for me that so-called 'locker room' conversation was a deal breaker. She agreed with me that it was bad, but said that Hillary is also not that clean, she had her own mistakes which made her an equally bad person. She also said that all these people have some skeletons in their closets. It was a fair counterargument, and she did say ultimately that she was okay with women being President, but she was not okay with Hillary. Actually, many people have used this argument to justify their choice after this election even though I fail to understand the real rationale behind it, but it is their right to choose the candidate they like. This conversation was very helpful to me as it diverted my attention away from the pain of that inserted needle in my hand. We ended our conversation on a very positive note and I told her that I am looking forward to the presidency of her candidate. I hope that Mr. Trump will honestly try to implement his policies for the benefit of the citizens of this country. She gave me a thumbs up for this as well as for successfully completing my blood donation.

I felt a big sense of achievement after finishing the process of blood donation, that feeling was not just because I donated the blood, I know that many people donate regularly, but because I overcame my fear of needles and survived those 30-40 minutes without having a panic attack that too when no one who I know personally was around me. I did this by my own choice. I was not compelled to do this for any other reason other than my own desire to do it. The feeling of not allowing my personal fear or phobia to control my desire to do something good was great, and I think we all are capable of overcoming such fears or mental blocks. We all or most of us have some sort of fear or mental block, that forbids us from doing many things which we all can do for the benefit of society or people around us. If we try to take one small step at a time to overcome those fears, we all can conquer them. I understand that it is not going to be easy, but it is not impossible. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing.]

Resentment against immigrants - Why?

I have lived my life as a part of an immigrant family in India and I am an immigrant in the USA. I have experienced a build-up of resentment against immigrants, but so far I never suffered any harm because of it. This problem is very real and I want to share my perspective on it. My family migrated from one state of India to another in search of better opportunities (from Uttar Pradesh to Maharashtra). In India, each state is like a different country, with its own language and culture. It is not that easy to adjust, especially, if the native language is totally alien to you. One can cook their own food or eat whatever is available, but it takes quite a bit of time and some effort to learn a new language and get to know a new culture. My parents went through this struggle and I witnessed that. The good part of this struggle was, that they never forced any of their kids to learn their own native language (Bhojpuri). I and my brothers learned to speak Marathi instead of Hindi or Bhojpuri. I give total credit for this to my parents. I don't know if they did it on purpose, but this is how it happened. We used to speak three languages simultaneously in our home, Bhojpuri, Hindi, and Marathi. Until recently my parents used to speak with us in Hindi or Bhojpuri and we used to answer in Marathi. It happens even now, but not that much, because now they are very comfortable with Marathi also. This arrangement worked very flawlessly, it was so smooth that we didn't even realize that we were using three languages simultaneously. The point here is, that they didn't stop us from learning the local culture, language, or customs. They allowed us to mingle with our surroundings, form friendships, and do whatever other kids from the neighborhood were doing. As a kid, I never felt that my family came to Maharashtra from some other state. Maharashtra is my home state and Marathi is my mother tongue. We grew up and became a proud Maharashtrians in a family that migrated from UP. This does not mean that we were totally disconnected from our native place, Uttar Pradesh. We can speak Bhojpuri quite well, love food from that region, and visit there whenever possible. I feel lucky that I belong to two states in India. Maharashtra now has a sizable population coming from northern states like UP and Bihar. As normally happens, some resentment got built against these people among native Maharashtrians, and some parties tried to encash these feelings. This feeling is so strong that some political parties and leaders owe their existence to it. Who supports political parties that spread hatred against migrants or immigrants and why? Why this feeling of resentment against fellow residents, which is almost like hatred becomes such a powerful political weapon? It is a powerful weapon that even in a developed country like the USA, this issue is one of the major issues of the presidential election and it is one of the major reasons for Mr. Trump's popularity.

Why do immigrants go through this phase in any society? Why doesn't it happen when they start immigrating, but only when they become a sizable minority group, and their presence can be seen and felt by the majority? I tried to get answers to these questions based on my own experience. Maharashtra and the USA are very cultured and civilized societies, these places are not alien to the presence of immigrants or migrants. Why a country like the US, which is known to be very friendly towards immigrants is facing this problem?

There is no doubt that the cultural clash is one of the reasons for this problem. When immigrants become a sizable minority, they start registering their presence on various platforms and this disturbs some native people. At the same time, current residents (including the original natives and immigrants who moved in before the current immigrants) start feeling that their culture is under attack or threat, as immigrants start asserting their own culture and traditions. The native population starts feeling that one day their own traditions will disappear. Now, no one cares or bothers to think whether these concerns are real or not, they don't bother to check their validity, but these fears start creating a feeling of resentment in some of the native population. This fear slowly builds up. A bad economy or poor employment rate fuels more insecurity among people and these feelings start showing their ugly effect in some stray incidents, where some immigrant gets attacked for no reason. Some political leaders take advantage of this fear and make it a hot political issue. This is what happened in Maharashtra and this is what is happening in the USA, and unfortunately, I am a witness to both.

Who is right and who is wrong? Who should be blamed for this situation? Are immigrants responsible for not adapting to their new place and appreciating the new culture and values which has given them so much? Are native people responsible for not being flexible enough and accommodating to include new values and cultural norms in their existing culture? I think the problem is from both sides. Remember, it takes two to tango. If you wanted to create another UP in Maharashtra then why did you migrate from UP? If you wanted to create another India in the USA, why not live in India itself. After all, the original is always better than the duplicate, right? What's the point in creating another Mexico in the USA? On the other hand, why not welcome and adapt some great values from all these cultures into the US culture and make it more diverse? Why can't we respect each other without threatening the existence of each other?

All people who think that this resentment against immigrants is unreal or is a totally misplaced feeling, are themselves living in a denial mode. A presidential candidate like Mr. Trump or a leader like Mr. Thackerey doesn't get support for no reason. People may feel that these leaders are not qualified to hold any public office, but they should not make the mistake of ignoring them or the issues they use for their political gain. They all are not deplorable people, labeling such a big part of the population stupid won't help. If any mainstream politician don't address their concerns, they will choose someone who they think is best to handle their issues, and then we really can't complain, it will be too late. I don't think Mr. Trump is their solution for their problems, but he is their answer to the political class for ignoring their concerns, for ridiculing their fear. Now they see someone who can speak for them, he is far from perfect, but at least he is recognizing their problems, and this is enough for most of them. The current political class is trapped in too much political correctness, they prefer ignoring difficult issues. They prefer to wait and watch rather than tackle the problems head-on. The point is, that someone should listen to these concerns and try to find solutions, ignoring or ridiculing is not going to help.

I am not here to judge whether this feeling of resentment is justified or not, one can debate about it. Maybe they really feel threatened about their culture or employment. Maybe they are really concerned they will become a minority and their kids will face problems. Maybe all this fear is totally misplaced, but someone needs to discuss these things. These people should feel that their concerns are also being considered as mainstream problems. The country is not only facing problems related to guns, abortion, terrorism, and unemployment; but illegal immigration is a serious problem and should be discussed. If not, then someone will take advantage of this anger. Today it's Trump, tomorrow it may be someone else, and please don't make the mistake of thinking that elections can't be won or lost on such polarizing issues. I have seen it happening in India and it can very much happen in the US. Discussing such sensitive issues openly is good for both sides, especially political opponents of Mr. Trump. After all, everyone living here loves this country. It is already a great country and let's make sure that it remains one.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Population growth - a glaring problem which India needs to tackle urgently

India's recent census data reveals continuous growth of its population. The trend that was observed in all previous census data has continued in this one also. With only 2.4% of the world's surface area, India accounts for around 17.5% of its population. Obviously, this puts an enormous strain on the available natural resources and infrastructure of the country. The only relief from this data is that the population growth rate among both dominant religions of India (Hindu and Muslim) seems to be reduced compared to the past which is a good sign. Actually, it is wrong to look at the population data from the perspective of any religion, but anyone knowing about India and its politics understands that whenever this data is released it is aggressively used by political parties to reap political benefits by creating communal divide by polarizing sections of society. Religion definitely plays some role in deciding family structure and social behavior of people, but it would be utterly wrong and stupid to account growth or lack of growth of a particular section of society only to their religion. Many newspaper headlines also report census data in the form of Hindu growth or Muslim growth, this type of interpretation or presentation is utterly misleading and doesn't help in educating people about the population growth problem.

Uncontrolled population growth and declining male-to-female ratio are among some of the very serious problems India has been facing for decades. A lot of efforts are being made on the government level to deal with these issues without much success. Actually, in one way large population can be an asset as it creates a bigger consumer market and large workforce. But if this asset is not managed properly, then it can create liabilities like unemployment and the need for govt support. The current PM, Mr. Modi, always mentions India's huge population, especially its younger people as the nation's asset and he is right in doing so. But this asset, if not engaged in meaningful activities, can cause a lot of chaos and disturbance, one recent example of this is the huge unrest caused in Gujarat by the demand for reservation by youths belonging to the Patel community. Ever-growing population means an ever-growing demand for infrastructure, food, and energy. The problem is by the time infrastructure projects are finished (say in 10 years or so), the population growth makes that project inadequate, so, the purpose for which that project was started is not normally met. This is the problem of India's government-run schemes and projects, the burden of population makes most of them useless or ineffective.

Spreading awareness about the use of contraceptives and communicating the benefits of family planning effectively are the only options to control population growth, many previous governments have done a good job in this sector, but this needs to be a continuous process. Blaming any particular community, caste, or religion is not going to help, this attitude might benefit politically certain political parties, but it is definitely not going to solve this issue. Actually, there are certain issues on which all political parties should work collectively as these are important issues for India, and population control is definitely one of them. I hope that this data is used to make good governance policies and programs and not to play some dirty politics to win some elections. If properly analyzed and studied such data can be very useful in formulating and implementing various types of social and educational programs which can produce long-term positive results for all sections of society. Such data is a very important tool for any government, but the unfortunate part is governments rarely use it effectively for this purpose. Population growth is a very serious problem, and very important for India if it wants to transform into a country with proper infrastructure and better opportunities for all its citizens. The burden of an ever-growing population can derail many ambitious plans and projects. If we are at all serious about the welfare of their country, then we need to tackle this glaring problem with all seriousness and honesty, otherwise, no matter what we build the unbearable weight of the growing population is bound to brush it.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Census_of_India

Banished - what brainwashing can do to people

Recently I finished reading a very interesting book, Banished-A Memoir, Surviving my Years in the Westboro Baptist Church by Lauren Drain (with Lisa Pulitzer). I love the public libraries in the USA, I borrowed this book from the New Haven public library. All public libraries in the US are free to people living in that area and one can borrow a variety of books and movies. This book is about the life and experience of a girl (Lauren) born in a moderate or liberal family who eventually ends up living in a very conservative and sectarian Christian environment. The book and its main characters are especially related to Westboro Baptist Church. It's not that I didn't know about this church before reading this book, I read about their provocative pickets and banners saying very derogatory things about people from their own community, they do these things all the time to get local and national media coverage. It was interesting to read how this whole enterprise is designed and managed by a few people who think that they are the only authorized agents of God and believe that they have the moral right to preach and dictate their God's message to the rest of the world. This book also shows what systematic and planned brainwashing can do to some people and their families. The book talks about a very conservative Christian atmosphere but readers should not get the wrong impression that such things are associated only with any particular religion, this is very common with all religions and cult movements.

I don't want to discuss the story of the book or get into details mentioned in the book. I advise readers to read the book if they are interested in knowing the complete story of Lauren and her family. I guess anyone who has seen a very conservative religious or sectarian environment can relate to the experiences of a girl living and growing up in such an environment where she is constantly told that whatever values her family believes and follows are the only right values and all others are wrong, and it's their duty to preach the RIGHT things to others who are on the wrong path even if such people may not like it. They must preach god's message because God has given them the responsibility and privilege to do this. We all see fanaticism or different forms of discrimination practiced all over the world in the name of religion (almost all religions and cult movements are guilty of this, there is no exception). They mainly do this because some book (word of God) tells them to do so. These books are written in such a way that they are open to many types of interpretations and everyone interprets them in their own way. Many people hate others just because they believe in different Gods and books, they do this so passionately and convincingly because they think they have blessings or orders from their God to do this. This mindset is a result of planned brainwashing, a strategy that every organized religion or cult movement uses very effectively to trap and recruit their subjects to propagate their ideologies.

Religion is a very personal and individual choice, just like food or clothes we wear. I can choose whatever dish I like from available choices or make my own if I want but I should not force my choice on others. I should not assume that something that suits my taste and needs is good for everyone. I don't think anyone will say that I have the right to hate or kill someone just because they are eating a different dish than what I like to eat. But if we bring religion into the picture, everything changes. People feel obliged to follow their religion and defend it, they feel it's not wrong to kill innocent people in the name of defending their religion. We read about such incidents all the time, they manifest into terrorist attacks and communal riots. Our minds work differently when we start talking or thinking about religion. We always feel that our own religion is better than others, we are right and others are wrong. A similar thinking pattern follows when we think about our own caste, race, or gender, based on our social and cultural upbringing we get trained or brainwashed to think that a particular race or caste is superior to others, one gender is superior to another. Everyone following any religion likes to claim that their religion doesn't preach any violence, discrimination, or hatred but still, we find a lot of communal tension all over the world. WHY? Even within the same religion, there are many factions who fight with each other. Why religion can't stop all this fighting? I can understand arguments, discussions, and debates but what purpose does spreading venom of hatred and killing innocent people including kids in the name of god serve?

This book describes Lauren's journey, and it gives an insider's perspective. Most of us can relate to her character, her story is gripping, tragic, and heartbreaking but in the end, leaves us with some hope. There are many hateful groups like this present all over the world, they belong to all religions. Such groups target people of all ages, brainwash them, and groom them to make their brand ambassadors, who can go and spread their false propaganda. I am not against any religion but I am against anything that spreads hatred and encourages discrimination and violence. We need to stop this. We need to spread love and unity instead of hatred and discrimination. We need to enlighten people and encourage critical thinking rather than brainwashing because brainwashing only creates fanatics. We don't need brainwashing but we need enlightenment of our mind and our society.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. Banished: Surviving My Years in the Westboro Baptist Church

  

Why do people cheat?

Actually, no one teaches us the basics of cheating. Even as a child many times we try to cheat or lie to cover up our mistakes or to get some things and we label them as child pranks. Lying is an integral part of cheating, they are two sides of the same coin, above question can be reframed as Why do people lie? We all use different excuses from time to time to get away with some things that we want to avoid. Technically we all lie at some time or other in our lives and we don't even notice it or don't even realize that we are lying, even if somebody points out our mistake we don't take it seriously because we believe that as long as it doesn't harm anyone or if we are not using it for some personal gain or very selfish motive lying fine. We strongly believe that it doesn't qualify as cheating or lying if it doesn't harm anyone. 

We start the act of cheating or lying at a very young age without even knowing that we are doing it. If you observe carefully it comes to us naturally, we have to teach kids not to lie or not to cheat but they learn these things on their own or we can say it is natural. No parent teaches their child the art of cheating or lying but all kids do it as a child. Even in the ancient scriptures like Mahabharat or Srimad Bhagavatam, we can see that there are many instances where characters like Krishna used cheating or lying to their advantage. Krishna as a child was involved in many pranks which involved stealing, telling lies to her mother, and things like that. All Hindus read these stories with devotion without realizing that somewhere it creates an impression that it's fine to cheat when it suits you. I am not saying that because of Krishna's character or some stories in scriptures where cheating is justified, people cheat, then people from other religions who read scriptures without such stories should not cheat or lie, but that's not the case, that's why I believe that this tendency of cheating comes naturally to us.

Normally we use or perform acts of cheating or lying to cover up something that we don't want others to know or in some situations where we think telling the truth might put us in some trouble. We do it out of fear of getting exposed or out of greed. Even in very serious and honest relationships (like husband-wife), people cheat, they try to cover up their dishonest acts or mistakes. Many use cheating out of fear of getting caught (this is common for children and kids), many use it to cover up their dishonest acts (in relationships) and many use it just because it's convenient to do it (we call it harmless because it doesn't hurt anyone). Temptation of cheating or lying under many circumstances is very difficult to resist, suppose you are planning to spend all your Sunday at home and your friend calls you for a game of tennis at 6 AM in the morning, you don't want to wake up that early on weekend but also don't want to hurt your friends feeling then you make some excuse like you are not feeling well or you have to go somewhere at 7 so can't come. We give some excuses like this many times and we don't even realize that we cheated or lied to our friend. 

So, if it's natural, is it okay to cheat or not? I think we should avoid it as much as possible but honestly, it's impossible not to do it totally. I think it depends on the situation, as long as it doesn't harm anyone, it's okay. I am not going to go into technical details about what qualifies as cheating or lying and what doesn't. I think people cheat or lie because it comes naturally, it's an act of defense that our brain uses to avoid certain uncomfortable situations. Does this mean we can teach our kids that it's okay to cheat or lie in certain situations? And then who will decide what are those situations? What if they develop a habit of cheating or lying? Aren't we teaching them something unethical or dangerous? It's very complicated. I think we can compare it with drinking (alcohol), it might be useful in moderate amounts, should be allowed after a certain age where one can use their judgment when to use it and when not, but better to avoid it totally if we can. My view is we should try to avoid it as much as we can because always remember that if we tell the truth we don't have to remember what we said last time.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)  

Why to write and how this blog started?

Everyone in this world has something to say. Everybody’s story is unique and interesting. I used to think that a lot has been already said or written about this and related subjects. So, who would listen to me if I wanted to tell my views? I believe that everyone is unique in this world and should share his/her ideas, experiences, and views and that’s how the world will progress. We need to be open to new views and ideas even if sometimes they sound strange. I saw many people don’t even think about these issues or follow whatever is told to them blindly. Even after progressing so much in technological areas and in science we still have a very primitive understanding of religion and its role in today’s world. We need more and more people to express their views so that we can have healthy debates on ideas and opinions. People will understand that basically, all religions teach the same thing, and if the central idea or ultimate teaching is the same then what’s there to fight about? All religious books even though they are great guiding texts have limited significance in today’s world. I am not saying to dump them but use them as reference books, not as commandments. We are a much better civilized society today than thousands of years ago when these books were written; we need to become more tolerant towards each other. Basically we humans generally express only two emotions love and fear; all our actions can be summarized under these two emotions. We need to bring more love into our lives so that it can drive fear away from our lives, it’s not that difficult task and the good thing about it is that it’s in our hands. So let’s share our views, experiences, and opinions and we all can learn something from each other.

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)