Our Differences Don't Have to Divide Us

I can understand why people get surprised or shocked to meet people who are different from them. The difference can be of any type, different race, nationality, religion, gender, sexual orientation, beliefs, or political ideology. It is not easy to understand why people don't think like us, why they don't believe in the same set of values, don't support the same political party and leader, follow the same religion, or hate the same enemy. Humans have always lived with such differences; there was no single religion, language, or political ideology that everyone followed; there were always differences. These differences have led to many gruesome and barbaric massacres of humans by humans. Statistics may tell us that far more humans are killed by other humans than by natural calamities. After this phase of barbarism, we entered a process of learning to live with differences, which is how countries like the USA and many other progressive nations came to exist and prosper by welcoming people from different parts of the world who, along with their talent and hard work, brought their languages, cultures, and beliefs with them. However, I feel that we are again deviating from this path, where our differences are no longer mere differences; they are becoming the primary reason to divide us. How did we reach this point? Are we going back to an era where political and ideological opponents will be prosecuted simply because they think differently? 

I can offer some examples from my own life to demonstrate that it is possible not only to live peacefully but also to build something beautiful and lasting alongside people who think and believe differently from you. 

The first example is my wife, Reena, and me. We both come from different states in India and spoke different languages when we got married. We share a common language, Hindi, that connected us, but our primary languages were different: Bhojpuri for her and Marathi for me. At some point in my life, I was as religious, maybe not as religious as Reena is, but I did follow some Hindu rituals. But I gradually drifted away from religion and completely dissociated myself from traditional religious beliefs, but Reena is very religious and follows many rituals and practices that traditional Hinduism calls for. Does this result in any friction? Do we clash and argue over things we don't agree on because of our different beliefs? Do we each wonder how the other cannot see that they are wrong? Do you want each other to change certain beliefs so that we can avoid confrontational situations? Of course, we do. These things are unavoidable when differences exist. But none of this divides us to the point where we no longer want to live with each other or feel compelled to change the other into a version of ourselves. Rather, we support each other so that neither of us feels attacked or threatened when we are in a space where one person's beliefs dominate. More often than not, it is Reena who shields me from being drawn into religious rituals, and she is usually in the majority across most of our social circles. Our differences make us very different people, but at the same time, they have helped us understand and support each other. Our unity does not demand uniformity. We try our best to convince each other about our points of view, but we both know that there will be some topics where we are not going to agree, and that's okay. If we can do this, I wonder why a society or a nation cannot replicate the same understanding, regardless of the hate politics played by self-serving politicians.

The second example is about my parents and me. My parents come from a very conservative background. Their ideas about family, religion, caste, and tradition are rooted in their upbringing in the rural parts of the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh. I grew up surrounded by these conservative values, where gender bias and casteism were prevalent. My parents inherited these values from their surroundings, and I inherited more or less the same set of values from my surroundings. This is what normally happens: we all inherit our religious and cultural beliefs that ultimately shape our personal beliefs. But eventually, slowly, I grew out of them, mainly through reading, as my horizons broadened. As my thinking started to differ radically from theirs on many issues, which led to frequent arguments, some very heated, where our beliefs collided. There is discomfort and uneasiness during confrontational situations. But none of these arguments have weakened my relationship with them as my parents. I have not stopped challenging them when I believe they are wrong; at the same time, they have not stopped emphasizing the importance of tradition and religion to me. I know I may not be able to change all of their beliefs or make them see the world as I see it. I may carry the regret of never fully convincing them why gender bias is a terrible thing, but that is my regret to live with and my battle to fight. They have their own limitations that prevent them from changing, and I have my own limitations in persuading them. But none of this will make us hate each other. We argue over things; that does not mean we wish the other did not exist.

Different sets of values can coexist within the same marriage, family, society, or country. This is not difficult; rather, this is how we coexist and flourish. I thought this was obvious, and that most people understood it, but in recent years, this understanding seems to be fading. I hope people come to see that our differences make us who we are; they give us the opportunity to understand one another, and they should not make us enemies. Different colors make a rainbow, and a rainbow is as beautiful as each individual color within it; many would even argue it is more beautiful than any single color alone. Let's keep the conversations going and put animosity on pause. Unity is not about becoming like each other; unity is about standing together despite our differences and defending each other's rights even when we disagree. We have always been different; we don't have to be divided.

Thank you for reading, and please share your views on this topic.

The Audacity to Fail

It is not easy to deal with failure, especially when you really tried hard for that thing and still didn't achieve the result you hoped for. Failure can be painful, discouraging, and deeply personal. But failing at something does not mean you are a failure. Failure is an event; it is not an identity. A failed attempt simply means that something did not work out this time. It says nothing final about a person’s worth, potential, or courage. In many cases, failure is not proof of weakness, but proof that someone dared to attempt something difficult, uncertain, and meaningful.

And often, the journey itself becomes as valuable as the destination, sometimes even more so. The process of striving teaches resilience, patience, humility, and self-knowledge. It reveals strengths you did not know you had and exposes limits you can learn to push beyond. Even when the final goal remains out of reach, the person who returns from that journey is rarely the same person who began it. That is the hidden reward of taking risks. The destination may bring achievement, but the journey brings growth. The destination may offer recognition, but the journey offers meaning. And in many cases, it is the journey that leaves the deeper mark on who we become. That is why some people have the audacity to fail. They have the courage and strength to try something where they know that the chances of failure are very high, but still, they go for it. Not because they want to fail, but because they want to test their limits, challenge themselves, and see how far effort, courage, and persistence can take them. 

We all know that luck also matters for success. Success is rarely shaped by effort alone. Hard work, preparation, and discipline matter deeply, but sometimes the final outcome also depends on timing, circumstance, and luck. However, luck cannot be the only factor. Luck cannot replace effort, but effort gives luck a chance to matter.  Once you have done everything within your control, the rest may depend on luck, and to give your luck a chance, you need to do everything that's within your limits. People with the audacity to fail understand this. They do not hold back simply because success is uncertain. They try fully, honestly, and courageously. They give everything they can, and in doing so, they leave no room for regret born from hesitation.

To have the audacity to fail is to accept that not every worthy attempt will end in success. But it is also to believe that trying wholeheartedly is never wasted. Even if the result is failure, there is dignity in knowing you showed up fully, took the chance, and left nothing behind. That is not failure in the deepest sense; that is courage.  

Thank you for reading, and please share your views on this topic.