Fear of failure

Why do people hesitate to pursue the career of their dreams? Why do people hesitate to switch once they find their job or career boring or burdensome? Why do people hesitate to study nontraditional fields that no one around them studied? One common answer to all these questions is "fear of failure." Fear of failure is not just about failure, it is more about being judged as a failure. 

There is a difference between actually failing at something and being judged as a failure. We fail for so many reasons, lack of preparation, underestimating the difficulty, better competitors, or plain bad luck. Sometimes things because of which we fail are not in even our hands, for example, if we miss the exam because our car broke down or we miss the train, there is nothing we can do about it. Most people are not scared of these types of failures, but being judged as a failure is an altogether different animal. Even if you are doing or trying to do something you love or still trying to figure out what to do, people may judge you as a failure based on your family, social, and economic background. People judge an engineer's child just because he or she did not choose to study engineering but chose music. If a doctor's child doesn't become a doctor and chooses any other profession that is supposed to be riskier and less monetary rewarding, people judge them and many feel sympathy towards these parents as if their kids failed them. Many people from my circle assume that my kids will be doing either science or law because I have that background and both fields are considered lucrative career options. I admire and applaud kids who chose to travel a different path. It is not easy, fear of failure is not an easy thing to overcome. I face this fear, and this is why I chose science as people told me arts has no future and commerce is for business-savvy people. Both pieces of advice were completely wrong but they affected my decisions, because of fear that I may end up without any job if I didn't study science. 

Also, the Asian community overseas is stereotyped as a science and tech-savvy community, which is far from true. Just because mostly STEM-educated people from India and China come to the USA or other countries doesn't mean that everyone in India or China is only good in science-related fields. The Asians are interested in arts like writing and music, they also love cinema and theater, they also like to be entrepreneurs in areas other than science, and they also want to tell their stories. However, many Asian kids are not encouraged to take these paths and are coerced or brainwashed to take more traditional careers that are considered as safe and monetarily rewarding. 

I always encourage kids who want to pursue a different career path than the so-called safe career choices. This is not easy, ask anyone who tried this. These kids face a lot of anxiety and get a lot of unsolicited advice that is offered with good intentions but under the assumption that these kids are lost and misguided. It is not easy to try to enter a profession that is not commonly pursued in your community, where you don't know anyone, and where you don't have any example to follow from your community or family. This requires courage and self-belief, more than any other common profession that they could have chosen. Note that in these common professions, there may not have been anyone from their family, but just because these professions are so well structured there is less risk and a more defined career path that reduces entry barriers. Therefore, be proud if you are trying to chart an uncommon path. Seek the support of your family, and if they don't offer any support, then find a mentor who can support you. Be patient and believe in yourself, the path may be tough and uncertain, the entry barrier may be high, and you may face many failures, but you are on a journey to achieve something that no one around you dared to do, and that itself is commendable. Fear of failure will be there, but make that your strength and not a weakness, use that fear to better prepare yourself and give yourself the option to fail. Failures don't define us, our grit, determination, and willingness to struggle do define our character. Success is not always the ultimate destination, many times it is the journey that we take that matters more than the ultimate destination. All the very best. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com