Barriers to public speaking

Public speaking is one of the most feared endeavors, most of us dread the scenario of speaking in front of people. No matter how trivial the subject is or how small the gathering is, we try to avoid as much as possible speaking in front of a group of people. Why? Is this because of fear of failure, fear of being laughed at, or fear of being not good at public speaking? What does it even mean to be good at public speaking? Is there a certain specific format for being a good public speaker? Most people think that there is. We are told to emulate certain best public speaking practices. I was a member of the Toastmasters club where people get trained in public speaking skills. It was a great learning experience for me, I really enjoyed my time at the Toastmasters. However, I feel that we put barriers to public speaking by prescribing a certain format for it, it discourages many who can't or don't want to adopt it. Let me explain why.

We are told that public speakers must speak in a certain way, and use certain mannerisms, posture, and language. Good public speakers should do this and should not do that. This all makes most of us feel that the art of public speaking is difficult and it is not for us. We started buying the idea that public speaking is for a few gifted people with dynamic personalities who are great storytellers. This is far from true. It is correct that few gifted people are comfortable with their storytelling abilities, but we all have this ability, we just differ in our styles of storytelling. By stereotyping public speaking, we put huge barriers to public speaking for people who have interesting stories to tell, and want to tell, but are scared because they don't see themselves as dynamic public speakers. We miss so many interesting stories and experiences just because people with these stories think they are not qualified enough to share them. The result of all this is that only certain stories get told, only certain sections of society have a monopoly over public speaking space, and most of us are spectators trying to find glimpses of our own stories among the stories told without bothering to tell our own story in our own words. Feeling fear and anxiety about public speaking is natural and even most experts feel it, this should not be a barrier or reason for not doing it. Also, whether you are an extrovert or an introvert should not matter, as both have stories to tell and the ability to tell. The result of all this is that most of us rely on others to tell our stories, we keep searching for glimpses of our tales in others' tales. 

There is no harm in learning prescribed techniques or standard practices of public speaking. However, not learning these skills, or the inability to learn them should not stop us from sharing our stories. We all have our unique styles. People can bring diverse ways of public speaking by expressing themselves in different styles and manners. People from India don't have to follow the same style as people from Africa or America and vice versa. With our own styles and backgrounds, we bring diversity to storytelling. It is not just the diversity of stories that matters, the diversity of styles and storytellers also matters. By having diverse styles of storytelling we can expand the reach of public speaking. If more and more people see people like them sharing their views, opinions, and stories, many more will be encouraged to do the same. 

Social media has already expanded the reach of expression of ideas and sharing. Social media platforms like YouTube, Instagram, and Ticktock have already started breaking these barriers to public speaking. Many are actively engaged in storytelling without subscribing to the standard protocols of public speaking. This is great, this is the beginning of removing the barriers to public speaking. I hope this trend continues and slowly we don't feel the need to train people in the art of public speaking. We already know how to speak and share our stories, public speaking is just another incident of engaging in conversation with a larger audience using our own style and flair, let's do it more often.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

The war from within - struggle of women to break internal barriers

I wrote quite a few posts about gender discrimination against women happening in various societies and cultures. This discrimination can be in many forms, it can be in the form of some rituals or customs, it can be in the form of some religious beliefs that put some restrictions on women just because of their gender, or it can be in the form of some laws which prohibits women from doing something just because they are women (like driving in Saudi Arabia). All these examples are just a few among many, if readers are interested they can find more information about these things on the web. Women all over the world are trying to fight against many of these discriminatory practices. They along with all feminist movements managed to achieve a lot of progress in this area but still, a lot of work needs to be done. When I wrote a few posts related to this subject I came across a few comments where women commented in favor of some of the very common prejudices against them (like women are inferior to men or less capable than men). All these women were educated and working women. I was a little surprised by this but not shocked because I have seen in my personal life many women who somehow believe that they are not as capable as men just because they are women. Years of male-dominated society and patriarchal culture have made them believe this. Many of them also believe that they need the support of some man in their life to be safe and survive in this world. Many also think that when you live in society, whether you like it or not you need to follow all these social norms. One of the norms of patriarchal society is that women are inferior to men and this thought is propagated directly or indirectly. The idea that women are born to serve men is propagated in various ways in different cultures. There are also many discriminative traditions or rituals. Even some stories that are part of great epics or holy books try to propagate these types of views either directly or indirectly. Social norms that encourage any form of discrimination either directly or indirectly should be challenged and questioned no matter from where they come and how old they are.

These views have been propagated for centuries and slowly they have become part of our society's mindset. Many people think that this is our culture and tradition. They think this needs to be preserved at any cost because these things were designed by our ancestors for the betterment of our society so why should we change them? The strong influence of this type of patriarchal culture has resulted in many internal barriers and self-doubts in women's minds. I would like to quote from the book Lean In where author Sheryl Sandberg writes about the barriers women face from within "In addition to the external barriers erected by society, women are hindered by barriers that exist within ourselves. We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in. We internalize the negative messages we get throughout our lives—the messages that say it’s wrong to be outspoken, aggressive, more powerful than men. We lower our own expectations of what we can achieve."

Years of brainwashing and suppression have created an element of self-doubt not only in the minds of many women but also in the minds of many other suppressed communities. These internal barriers created by self-doubt are not that easy to break as they are supported by traditions that reinforce them from generation to generation. Maybe there was a need for some of these traditions back then for the safety of women, but we live in a totally different world today and many of these barriers need to go. In today's world, every gender and section of society should be given equal opportunity to explore their potential. Why it's always a woman who has to choose between family and career? Why this unfair dilemma is only forced on them? As a society what are we doing so that women don't have to face this dilemma (most men don't face it, right)? Even though all these questions are relevant it is also true that first women need to overcome their own internal barriers. Society and culture's attitude is so hostile towards them, with these internal barriers they cannot expect any special favors from society. If they fail to break these barriers then it will be very difficult for them to break the external barriers set by society and culture. They first need to win the war from within to win this war against gender discrimination. Once they overcome internal barriers then it will be just a matter of time before they break external barriers.

I would like to end this post with another quote from the book Lean In, "Internal obstacles are rarely discussed and often underplayed. Throughout my life, I was told over and over about inequalities in the workplace and how hard it would be to have a career and a family. I rarely heard anything, however, about the ways I might hold myself back. These internal obstacles deserve a lot more attention, in part because they are under our own control. We can dismantle the hurdles in ourselves today. We can start this very moment."

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]