My "weird" tiger tooth

I have a unique arrangement of my teeth, they can make a challenging project for any orthodontist. I have one tooth that is different than others, called "tiger tooth" and I call it "weird" not because I think it is weird, but just to highlight the fact that it is unique and different from my other teeth. While growing up in India I never felt that my teeth were unique, as there were quite a few with similar teeth. However, when I came to the USA I was amazed to see the nearly perfect alignment of teeth of almost every individual. I never knew about orthodontists while growing up, also, I never heard of anyone getting their teeth arrangement fixed. Going to a dentist was a rare event in my neighborhood, people visited the dentist only and only when tooth pain became unbearable or there was some accident where they had some damage to their teeth. We did not know anything about annual dental cleaning or flossing regularly. So, like many others, my spectacular teeth remained as they naturally chose to arrange themselves. This was perfectly normal until television and movies started dictating all over the world what is a perfect smile and how having perfectly arranged teeth is an essential aspect of being presentable.  

When my kids got into their teens they needed to visit an orthodontist as I don't think they can survive in today's world with the kind of teeth that I have :) Occasionally, some young child tells me that my teeth need to get fixed, and I nicely tell them that they don't, they are just different from theirs, the same way as my skin color or my height or bodyweight is different than many people around me, my teeth are little different than many others around me. They accepted my answer, but their question indicated how conditioned we and our society are getting due to the standardization of certain beauty or appearance standards. I am not saying resisting these things is easy, rather, it is extremely difficult to swim against the tide. How do you enter a room where everyone is sitting in a suit and you are the only one without it, especially when you are a beginner and most people don't know who you are? It's frightening for many that they will be judged based on their teeth, body hair, or clothes. Therefore, most of us try to fit in and subscribe to the standards dictated to us. I never consciously chose not to go to the orthodontist, I never had access to them, due to money and other reasons. But when I could afford an orthodontist, it was my choice not to get my teeth "fixed." This was for all kids like me who were not aware of the dictated beauty standards. Every smile is beautiful, is a cliche, people say it, but the conditioning is so deep that you will never see a toothpaste or any other advertisement with a person like me, not because we don't smile but because our smile doesn't fit in the standardized definition of a beautiful smile.

It is also true that I never faced any problems due to my teeth, people are extremely cordial and nice to me, but I see the trauma and stress many go through at a very young age because they have something that doesn't fit into the standardized definition of beautiful. I encourage them to create their own standards and be confident about them. Wouldn't it be amazing if we all express and enjoy the beauty in our own way, rather than trying to fit in the definitions created by someone who doesn't even know us? 

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

The phenomenon of over-earning

We are taught at a very young age the importance of money to live a decent life, we are also told that it is important to earn a decent wage to earn that money to support ourselves and our families. However, we are not taught how much money is enough for a person or a family to live a decent life. The result is we all learn from various sources what is a decent life, we are coached about how to be happy, and we are continuously bombarded with advertisements and messages that claim to inform us about what we need. I wish this all could help us at least to draw a baseline for what we really need to fulfill our needs and be content. These advertisements, movies, and now social media confuse us so much that we don't even know the difference between our needs and desires. We routinely mistake our desires for our needs and run after them as if we can't survive without them.

There is no denial of the importance of money in our society. We need money (or something that society values) for almost everything, food, clothes, shelter, and any other services we need. It is also true that this pressure to earn money motivates many of us to take many challenging jobs in our lives and many of us achieve great things and help society while trying to fulfill our needs and desires. So, if the pressure to be self-sufficient motivates us to earn what's the problem? 

The problem is we are not told where to stop, and most of us have no idea how much we need to earn to feel safe and comfortable, this is what results in a phenomenon of over-earning. We are filled with so much uncertainty and insecurity that we can't stop thinking about making more money. The desire to make more money is not a problem in itself, but to get trapped in the phenomenon of over-earning and stop enjoying life is the problem. Initially, we need a decent job and residence, then, want to own a house and a car, then, even a bigger house and a more fancy car, and we keep on shifting the goalpost throughout our lives without celebrating the goals that we achieve. We try to make sure we have enough for the uncertain things that may or may never happen in our lives, for example, unemployment, our kids going to expensive schools, and fancy holidays that we are told are necessary to live a happy life. We are sold countless dreams every day, and what we do, we chase them all. We earn and save for that one vacation that we dream about every year and don't manage to take because the very job we do to earn money for that vacation does not allow us to take any time off. We save money and then pressure our kids to get into that prestigious college or university where our kids may not want to go. Everyone's list can be unique, but the problem is the same, we are trapped in over-earning, forever, and our insecurities and fears grow so much on us that we can't come out of them. We keep on fearing for things that may never happen and save money for things that we may never do. It's like running on a treadmill from which we don't know how to get off or slow down.

So, is there any solution? It depends. I know this is not a desirable answer, but that's what it is, it really depends on how badly you are trapped in over-earning. The first step is to acknowledge that we have enough of what we need and we are over-earning. Then, try to differentiate between our needs and desires, keep a check on our insecurities, stop worrying, make sure to take those vacations for which we save, and be aware of all the brainwashing and conditioning we are subjected to by countless advertisements and social media posts. It's not easy, as having more money than we need is comforting, no one likes to live on the edge, but the reality is that most of us live like we are living on the edge even after having more money than what we need and we should work towards changing this. Over-earning is a thing, it's not some hypothetical problem, it adds stress to our lives and forces us to live in the perpetual feeling of insecurity. It seems that during the last couple of years, many people have realized the problem of over-earning due to losses they suffered during the COVID-19 pandemic. It took a pandemic for us to realize that our priorities were messed up. But now as we realize the problem, let's fix it.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic.  

It's time to clean our burdensome culture

Whenever I used to question some rituals or some rules that were imposed on us, for being a boy, or on my sisters for being a girl, I used to get a very common response, just do it, this is our culture. No one bothered to answer why. Things have not changed much in the last 30-40 years, rather I see that people have become more aggressive and sensitive about these age-old discriminatory rituals and practices. Still, certain things are questioned or imposed as they may hurt the religious sentiments of the majority or minority. Any woman not subscribing to these oppressive traditions is labeled as Western, uncultured, or worse, an anti-something (put Hindu or Muslim or any other group in the place of "something"). I wonder what fun people get in carrying the weight of this burdensome culture, why people insist on continuing with openly discriminatory practices, and why it is so difficult to understand that just because something has been practiced for centuries it does not make it right. 

Females are worst affected by these discriminatory cultural practices. In many cultures across the world, females are expected to carry the burden of cultural traditions, they are at the receiving end of any rituals that require obedience or submissiveness. They are expected to fast, expected to serve, expected to cover their body, expected to take the blame for blatant sexual assaults directed towards them, expected to bear the burden of parenthood, expected to protect their and their family's honor, the list is long and includes different things based on which part of the world we consider. The time has come for all of us to let go of this burdensome culture, no matter how old it is. Just because it is old, or going on for ages, it doesn't become worthy of protection, it does not become right, and definitely, it does not become acceptable to discriminate. Discrimination is very subtle in many of these rituals, after all, the people who designed them were not stupid, they wanted to create a patriarchal system that could go on forever, conditioned, both, men and women so that both can carry these traditions with equal faith and conviction. This is why it is not easy to fight against these discriminatory traditions because many who suffer and get discriminated against by these traditions support them thinking that these are sacred and need to be protected. My personal experience is that fighting against these discriminatory and burdensome traditions is one of the most difficult challenges one can take, mainly because many times, you have to fight against your own. One needs to stand up against their own parents or other family members, it is complete hypocrisy to speak against these things on social media or other places and keep mum when it happens within our own family. I have seen many who claim to be progressive and against any type of discrimination keeping mum when their own parents or other so-called respected relatives practice some of these discriminatory traditions. This type of double face is very common nowadays in the era of social media where people have different personalities in the virtual world and different in the real world.

The time has come to get rid of this discriminatory and burdensome culture, we need to create our own traditions and culture that suit our time and place. Old is not always gold, we need to evaluate old traditions with our current set of standards and get rid of the junk or modify it to suit the needs and demands of our time. Let's start cleaning our culture, during the festival season it is not only important to clean our bodies and house, but let's clean our culture also.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic.  

Aryan Khan and the Indian news media

Shahrukh Khan needs no introduction, he is the most popular Hindi film industry star in the world, maybe more popular than Amitabh Bachchan, so, when his son, Aryan Khan got arrested for allegedly being a part of a drug racket it was a headline in most Indian news media houses. So far it is understandable, the twenty-three-year-old son of a movie icon getting arrested for drug-related charges is a worthy headline to catch the attention of your viewers. However, what happened after that totally exposed the pathetic state of affairs of Indian news media. Most news channels started running 24x7 updates about Aryan Khan, what he does, what he eats, about the role of parenting in his arrest, and whatnot. Everything related to him was covered as if his arrest and bail is the biggest crisis India is facing right now. To make things more sensational there were rhyming headlines, poetic tags, super excited anchors, every time exclusive photos or interviews, whatever one can imagine from top to bottom was used by media houses to cover this hot story.

Before this incident the only identity of Aryan Khan was Shahrukh and Gauri Khan's elder son, that's all. Thanks to the Indian media outlets now the name Aryan Khan needs no introduction, I am sure whoever watches Indian news channels knows about him. I am sure this is not the way Aryan or his family expected him to get popular but he is now popular and currently may be more popular than his dad in India. It was a simple case of a rave party where young kids consume illegal drugs, the law should have taken its own course, and formalities like arrests and bail should have followed the procedure they normally follow in such cases, but it did not happen. It seems when the media started covering this case minute by minute the Narcotics Control Bureau (NCB) of India also got carried away. As a result, the issue became much bigger than it was and now the NCB itself is facing some credibility issues related to this case. I am sure Aryan must be wondering why such a big deal was made out of the fact that some of his friends wanted to smoke weed. No doubt, Aryan comes from a very privileged background, after all, how many people can afford to have the former attorney general of India represent them for a bail petition. However, as people should not get any special treatment because they come from a privileged background they should not be treated worse because they are privileged. 

Another point to note is the way the Indian movie industry chooses to remain silent on the most sensitive issues. Even its biggest stars keep mum or issue some meaningless generic statements on some of the biggest atrocities committed in the country. They genuinely fear that their commercial interests will be hurt and their movies or families will be targeted, but this silence is noticeable to the extent that the industry's biggest stars who carry a macho image on the screen appear spineless in their real lives. However, the same stars expect public support when something happens to them, and they do receive a lot of support (as well as criticism, as hate and love are different sides of the same coin for any celebrity's life). Similarly, in this case, also there was a lot of support and hatred, the issue even took a political twist keeping with the current pattern where everything ends up becoming political and communal starting from a cricket match to the arrest of a superstar's son. Also, politics and communalism are so deeply ingrained in India that most people don't react based on what happened but they first check who are the people involved and then react accordingly. If it's from their own religion or political party then they find each and every possible reason to downplay or even justify murder or rape, and if it's someone from a different religion or opposite political party they can make a big deal about smoking a pot. The role of Indian media is very important in all this, they not only initiate this divide but actively cultivate and make sure that it doesn't get bridged by very aggressive and biased reporting. Any sensible person will cringe multiple times while watching most Indian news channels, they don't even try to hide their love for the ruling party and hatred towards the opposition, they don't even try to pretend to be objective, they shamelessly take sides and act as propaganda machines. I stopped watching them long back, but my parents watch it regularly and I always used to wonder what's the source of their so many conspiracy theories. During my recent India visit, I decided to watch these news channels with them and I realized from where they are getting all this misleading and fabricated information. The problem is there are many like my parents who believe these news channels, after all, why will the news channels lie, it's news, how can it not be true? Many Indians are fed with such lies continuously and I don't know how they will come out of it or will they ever come out of this vicious cycle. Aryan Khan will get bail for sure, it's just a matter of time, his case will also reach some conclusion but the thing Indians should worry about is what their news media is doing with them. The Indian news media is feeding something more dangerous than narcotics to their viewers, and the worst part is the viewers don't even know that they are being drugged.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic.  

Toxic positivity

We all know that negativity is toxic, having a negative environment around us not only affects our morale but can also affect our mental and physical health. However, positivity can also be equally toxic, this may come as a surprise to many, but this is true. Especially, in today's era of widespread internet use and social media where we are bombarded with so-called positive thinking and motivational videos. These videos project a picture as if being sad or not interested even for a bit is a crime and recipe for a disaster, they try to project if you are a risk-averse person then somehow you are missing something big in your life. The main problem with these so-called positive or motivational messages is that they refuse to accept or acknowledge that there can be an alternative way of living life where people can be content with less, can be totally fine with living a risk-averse life, and be perfectly happy.

Being motivated to do something, explore new things, or push one's limits to the maximum is a natural trait for many, and so is being risk-averse and hesitant to explore new things. Some find excitement in exploring new things and some are at peace with whatever they have and don't even want to know what else is out there. However, due to some overzealous positivity mongers, one trait is projected as desirable and another as some sort of personality defect. It is said that everything can be a poison, it's just a matter of dose. Anything that gets too much, beyond the tolerable level of that individual can be poisonous or harmful for that individual, this is where toxic positivity comes into the picture. Most of the so-called motivational or positivity-spreading talks and videos are so one-sided that one may feel inferior for feeling sad or content, these people want us always to be ready to dance or take new things, and face countless failures whether we want or not. Most of these videos are well-intentioned and people make these feel that they are helping others by making them feel positive, but they ignore the fact that other emotions are as natural as a feeling of being motivated and there is nothing wrong with not being motivated to do something if that person is feeling adequate and satisfied. No doubt, failures can teach us a lot and they are an integral part of our lives, but that doesn't mean everyone is enthusiastic after a failure to face another one, if they don't want to, it should be their choice and perfectly acceptable behavior. Also, these talks project being an extrovert as a leadership trait and being an introvert as some sort of hurdle for being a leader. Nothing can be more wrong, leadership is not about being an extrovert or introvert, it's about how effectively you can relate to people whom you want to lead, it's about building a relationship of trust and comfort, nothing else. Being content with what we have, not willing to travel, being happy with books and not comfortable with too many people around, being hesitant to talk with strangers are perfectly normal and healthy habits. If we are bombarded with messages that we need to be happy or in a positive mindset all the time, it builds toxic positivity around us, we start hiding or feeling guilty about some very natural emotions like sadness, depression, anxiety, and even guilt. As a human we feel a range of emotions depending on our personal experiences and everyone's ability to feel these emotions can be radically different, we need to acknowledge and accept this diversity. 

Toxic positivity forces us to hide our natural feelings, this not only forces people to put on an artificial show of fake positivity but also many natural emotions silently keep on growing inside those people and at some point manifest in many ways, sometimes in a very tragic way. Let's not demonize natural emotions in the process of building a nonpractical glossy and utterly artificial positive culture. Let's accept that as humans we experience a range of emotions and it's healthy to experience them, let positivity be as natural as sadness or depression is. Forced happiness or sadness both are bad, therefore, beware of toxic positivity.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Social media is a great tool to connect with the younger generation

Social connections and a sense of belonging to a community are inherent needs of humans. We have been doing this since we began existing as a group on this planet, the methods, models, styles, or mediums we use change and evolve but the need to communicate remains the same. Every generation has devised its own way of communication, especially, the last few decades have brought a tremendous transformation in the way we communicate with each other. The invention of social media is one of the biggest disruptive changes that humans witnessed ever, it has radically transformed the way we communicate. The major mode of communication now happens through the internet, as always, there are pros and cons of this change like every other change we witnessed. Many people are busy dissecting this disruptive phenomenon and the new role that smartphones play in the lives of the current generation. 

My kids are no different than other kids of their generation as far as social media is concerned, they love their phones and are busy with social media. When I realized that this is the mode of communication they prefer, I also decided to get acquainted with this medium so that I can communicate with them via the medium they prefer. I am glad that I did this, some of our memorable and interesting conversations happen through social media. Of course, we also meet in person and there are our usual discussions and arguments over lunches and dinners, but apart from this we also have social media where we can communicate with each other from anywhere and anytime. I agree that there is so much to learn to get on each and every social media platform, but the good news is that we don't have to be on each and every platform, there is nothing wrong if you are on each social media platform, but you don't have to be. Select a few platforms that you think represent the social or family circles you want to connect with and learn how to use them, communicate with people who love to interact and see how it improves your interactions with them. 

Like any other tool, it depends a lot on how effectively you use social media. As I already mentioned, this is one of the most disruptive things humans have witnessed so far, so, if not used properly it can create some issues. In the same way, when the radio was invented, TV was invented, or cable TV was introduced we had similar concerns about their harmful effects on our personal and social lives. No matter how much people criticize or demonize these things, they are not going anywhere, social media is very much a part of our lives and you can get a lot by using it wisely. Also, I am aware that you can live a wonderful life without being on social media, but you can do the same by not using a phone, not watching TV, listening to music, or visiting any new place. However, if we can enrich our lives more by learning a few new things and expanding our world, there is no harm in giving it a shot. This is very important if you want to be in sync with your next generation. Smartphones and social media are integral parts of today's kids and youngsters, part of their world resides on these things, and that's why they are hooked to smartphones so much. If you want to communicate with them, you need to be there in that world so that they come across you once in a while. If not, then you don't exist in that world and have to wait for them to come out of their virtual world just to interact with you, and at this stage, there is not much incentive for doing this. Learn a few things about social media and start your journey there, make connections with people you love, and enjoy another method to stay in touch. Good luck with this adventure.  

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Gender sensitization is required to tackle pervasive sexism

Gender discrimination and sexism are so pervasive around us that many times we don't even realize it happening around us. It happens so routinely that our senses don't notice and start accepting gender-biased statements and behavior as if it is a normal way of life. The result, we not only start ignoring these incidents but also stop noticing them where we should. As a society and as an individual we need to evaluate things through a gender lens. Such evaluation is needed for the day as we waited too long and allowed gender discrimination to occupy too many areas of our lives. Gender discrimination is there in our homes, our relationships and friendships, movies and books, stories, the workplace, and many other places. All cultures are full of gender-discriminatory practices and rituals. Many want to preserve these discriminatory rituals because they are part of our heritage. I wonder how something becomes right because it has been going on for centuries. Rather, something discriminatory when allowed to exist for long without being questioned gets normalized, and very few dare to question it, such practices require a strong and determined resistance. The good part is not everyone gets normalized to these discriminatory practices, there are some who notice them and dare to protest. These are the ones who force the change or at least initiate the process for change. I am lucky enough to meet with some of these people either personally or through books. These interactions have sensitized me about gender discrimination and helped to realize many of my own privileges because of my gender.

The movement against gender discrimination has been going on for decades. Definitely, our society is becoming more conscious about gender equality, but a lot is yet to be achieved, and in some places, the movement is in the very initial stages. Gender sensitization, which can be defined as the modification of behavior by raising awareness about gender equality concerns, is one of the important ways to make individuals aware of gender-discriminatory practices. Once people become aware of discrimination the hope is they will fight against it or at least they won't follow such practices. I can say this by personal experience, since I became aware of various aspects of gender discrimination I started evaluating things using a gender lens. When I evaluated movies I loved, songs I admired, books, and authors I read while growing up, I realized that most of them failed the gender test. That is, most of these things were heavily gender-biased, they treated men and women in a very stereotypical fashion, and women were always shown as tolerant, sacrificial individuals, who could tolerate any injustice forced on them. Remaining silent, even when put through unjust situations, was considered a virtue for women, and a revolt of any kind was reserved for men. This is why gender sensitization is required to tackle pervasive sexism in our society. More so today because there is no more open gender discrimination as most societies know it is bad and try to project a picture that they are not gender biased. However, this does not mean that gender discrimination is not there, it is more subtle and made to look normal, that is why we need to evaluate things through a gender lens. Our gender lens should enable us to evaluate the books we read or movies we watch to make sure if they do a good job of sensitizing us about gender-related issues. I know some people will make the argument that it's not fair to judge things of the past using today's standards, and this is true, however, this does not mean we cannot call a spade a spade when we realize that it is a spade. Anything, no matter how old or new, if it perpetuates sexism, it is sexiest and we need to call it sexiest and I am glad people are doing this. Gender sensitization is not easy and many will struggle with it as it will challenge their convictions and beliefs, and put them at odds with their culture and traditions. We need to take this challenge, it's tough, but continuing with sexism is not an option we should choose, it was a wrong option yesterday, and it is a wrong option today, let's choose the right option. 

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Why Olympics are special

Olympic 2020 recently concluded in Tokyo, Japan. The Olympics (summer, winter, and Paralympics) are the most recognized and celebrated sports events in the world. This is not just because of tradition and glamour, but because of the aspirational aspect associated with it. It is the struggles of Olympic participants and their stories that make this event special. Winning an Olympic medal is a dream of every sportsperson (if it's an Olympic sport), but this is just one part, when people reach that stage and share with the world their struggles to reach there inspires millions. Every participant nation expects to win a medal, no matter whether it's a Gold, Silver, or Bronze, an Olympic medal has a special place and recognition. Winners, as well as non-winners, get famous, sometimes participants miss a medal by a whisker, by 1/10th of a second. Some participants become overnight stars, or some stars take bold steps to highlight issues that people hesitate to discuss, for example, mental health or discrimination.

Every participant comes with his or her unique story to the Olympics, some of them are stories about incredible inspirational journeys. For example, Allyson Felix's comeback journey after her daughter's birth to become the most decorated athlete of the USA, Hidilyn Diaz of the Philipines winning the first Gold for the Philipines, or Neeraj Chopra from India winning India's first-ever track and field gold, even they all won a Gold medal their stories are different and unique. The Olympic medal also offers instant fame to the winners, for example, Neeraj Chopra from India was already doing great in the javelin throw, he was undefeated since 2018 in all the events he participated in, and he topped the qualifying round, but his country only noticed his talent when he won India's first-ever track and field Gold, this is the power of an Olympic medal. Winning is not as important as participating is, some participants even after getting injured or being in the last position complete their event, not for any medal or record but to fulfill their dream of being an Olympian who finished the event. 

I enjoy watching the Olympics just because of these stories, they inspire me, and they give me hope. Many sports like track and field or swimming I don't follow at all, I only watch them during the Olympics and enjoy the drama and action. This year's Olympics were more special as they happened when the world was facing a pandemic crisis. The event got delayed by a year, even though it happened in 2o21, it was called Tokyo 2020, or Olympic 2020. The event is over, it gave the world a lot to look forward to, some athletes like Simone Biles took an unprecedented and brave step to withdraw from some of the events to focus on their mental health. I am sure each one of us looks at the Olympics from a different lens and may have something to share. Like most previous Olympics this Olympics also didn't disappoint, thank you Japan, thank you Tokyo for giving us a chance to witness this amazing spectacle of sports.

Thank you for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Stop worrying about sounding less than brilliant

Social media has transformed the way we communicate with each other. Nowadays, a major part of our communication happens through written or visual (video or photo) mediums rather than spoken communication. We have many platforms available for us where we can read other's opinions and share our own. However, this abundance of platforms has also made many of us worry about sounding less than brilliant or getting criticized for our views. However, we all must remember that just because someone criticizes or ridicules us our opinions don't become any less important or irrelevant. Also, worrying about sounding less than brilliant just makes us hold on to our thoughts at places where we should speak up. 

First, it takes courage to speak up, we may or may not be affected by certain things because of our social and economic status. But this does not mean we should not speak about issues that are affecting others. Raising awareness about important and sensitive issues is important because many times people who get affected by these issues do not have proper platforms or resources to raise these issues. That is why people who have these resources must take responsibility and use their resources for the benefit of the ones who can't raise their concerns. It is normal to be conscious about our presence and take some precautions so that we don't become targets of online bullying but self-censoring is not a good option. 

Second, if we wait for a day when we will sound brilliant and flawless to voice our views, such a day may never come as there will be always someone who can articulate the same thing better than us. Also, there will be always someone who will find some flaw in whatever we say or do. So, stop worrying about sounding less than brilliant, share your opinion or views freely and fearlessly. Of course, we need to be respectful of others and follow some basic etiquettes that we follow in our everyday lives, but apart from this nothing should stop us.

Finally, perfection is an illusion, it's a relative thing, if we are sincere about what we do or say, it doesn't matter if others like it or not. Therefore, enjoy the social media platforms that are available to you, and use them to connect with people and raise awareness about the issues you care about. Stop worrying about sounding less than brilliant, be a free thinker, and behave like a free thinker.

Thank you for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Faith and belief, similarities and differences

We use the words "faith" and "belief" interchangeably as if they mean the same, they do have similar meanings but I think there are subtle differences. Whenever we these words, we imply that we trust something without knowing everything or even anything about that thing. Trust is a very valuable emotion to confer, when we trust something we not only offer our allegiance and stand by it, but also try to convince others that the thing we trust is good for them also. So, what are the subtle differences between faith and belief?

The major difference between faith and belief is that faith is inherently blind, we don't need any information or rational logic to have faith in anything. For example, most of us inherit the religion of our parents and we have full faith in it, we grow up watching love stories and have faith in relationships and love. Mostly, this faith remains unshaken unless something dramatic and pivotal happens in our lives. It's hard if not impossible to explain why we have faith in anything without sounding illogical. One of the important characteristics of faith is that it's unmovable, no matter what happens, or what data you produce, people who have faith in something do not change it, rather they find reasons to defend their faith and question the evidence or even deny the legitimacy of the data that challenges their faith without providing any evidence for their statements.

However, belief needs to have some basis and rationale, not direct evidence, but some circumstantial evidence, there is something beyond plain conviction. Also, beliefs are subject to change as new evidence or data may prove them wrong, but as I mentioned, faith seldom changes no matter what evidence or what data is produced. We have not seen atoms or electrons with our own eyes but we believe that they exist, the same way many of us have not seen the south pole or north pole but believe that they exist, but we don't have faith in these things. We don't feel hurt or angry if anyone challenges or proposes alternatives to these things with equally compelling data or other evidence. Beliefs do change, our understanding of our solar system is a very good example of this, it has changed over time as telescopes and satellites have become more powerful. 

Faith and belief demand our trust based on some or no evidence, be careful when you defend them, don't confuse faith and belief. There is no shame in accepting faith as it is, many of us need to have faith in something, that's a psychological need that can be fulfilled by religion or something else, just be clear about it, that's all.

Thank you for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

You can't drive forward by continuously looking in a rearview mirror

Traditions, culture, history, and legacy all connect us with our past. Any country or civilization that is old enough will have enough incidents and achievements to celebrate and feel good about it, at the same time, there will be incidents about which they owe an apology to a certain section of their society. Old civilizations like the Chinese, Indians, or Romans are no exceptions to it. History is not only about glorious triumphs or grand wars or golden eras, but it is also about racism, casteism, gender discrimination, massacres, and exploitation of certain sections of society at the hands of a few privileged ones. It won't be an exaggeration to say that each golden era of any civilization is associated with some sort of travesty inflicted on some section of society. This is true irrespective of which country or civilization we are talking about. However, there will be very few from that corresponding country or civilization to acknowledge this fact, rather, we can find many who either deny or try to justify even the ugliest or most cruel historical incidents.

Learning lessons from history is important, that is why we study history, it is not just important to know what happened, but also important to know why happened. Also, if we don't feel sorry, bad, disgusted, apologetic, or angry while studying history, then we may be studying something but not real history. There is no country or civilization that does not have skeletons buried in their closet. As I mentioned, there are some bright spots in every civilization, and it is important to know about them. But the problem arises when in the mode of hyper-nationalism, people highlight only bright spots and cover up or worse, blatantly deny some inconvenient truths. The result of this is that the most vocal class of such societies keeps on indulging in past glories. They fall in love with their past so much, that they do not even recognize that their current situation is not even close to the so-called golden era about which they are harping. It is like trying to drive a vehicle on a highway by continuously looking in a rear-view mirror.

The rear-view mirror has its utility, one has to look at it occasionally while driving to check on the surroundings. One cannot look in the rear-view mirror and drive forward, if we do that we are bound to crash. Check your present situation and think about how to move forward, know about your competition today, and design a strategy to compete based on what you have today. If I want to win a gold medal in the Olympics, then I need to train hard and compete with my fellow contestants, not brag about my grandfather winning Olympic gold, such bragging is not going to help me a bit to win any medal or even get qualified for that event, rather, others might feel pity for my situation. This is what is happening in countries where hyper-nationalism is on the rise, they are forgetting that their competitors are getting better day by day, by thumping their chest about their past glories they are not doing any good to their current situation but helping their competitors to get better and better. Hopefully, these people realize their mistakes and shift their gaze from the rear-view mirror. Because if they don't, all they can go is in the reverse direction. The more one indulges in the past, the more one loses connection with the present, this is true for an individual, group, or country.  Learn from the past to create a better future for everyone, for things from the past apologize or salute and move on, don't get stuck.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Drug development is a science, not politics

First, a disclaimer, I worked as a drug discovery scientist for more than a decade working on different projects including anti-HIV and antibacterial. I was fortunate enough to work in such a creative enterprise with some of the best talents in the world in academia as well as in the pharma industry. So, this blog post is based on my training and experience as a drug discovery scientist.

Drug development is not an easy endeavor. It is a risky, expensive, and prolonged process with absolutely no guarantee of success. Many countries in the world where protection for intellectual property for drug development is non-existent or pathetically inadequate don't even engage in this endeavor even though their population needs new drugs for almost every lethal disease that exists in this world. These countries depend entirely on developed countries for drug discovery, even for the drugs for diseases like malaria and tuberculosis that are eradicated from most developed countries but are very much a public health concern in most other countries. Drug development is a scientific endeavor, a very challenging and complex problem, it's not politics and the two should not be mixed.

There are arguments on various social media platforms in India about different types of medicines like allopathy, homeopathy, Ayurveda, home remedies, alternative medicine, or whatever. This argument is more emotional or political than a scientific argument. There is no data, no experiments, or any scientific principles that are debated, there are just accusations and counter-accusations, just like most political discussions. The debate is devoid of any scientific spirit and temper. People engaging in the debate are not even interested in knowing how a drug is developed or approved, they only want to prove the other side wrong, by hook or crook. Once politics enters any argument the first two causalities are rationality and common sense.

Either something is a medicine (drug), or it's not. Over the period of time, the scientific community and governments have developed a reliable, reproducible, and verifiable mechanism to evaluate the approval of a drug. It is called clinical trials, and the data submitted for this purpose is publicly available, almost every country has a competent body to evaluate such data, for example, the US has Food and Drug Administration (FDA). If there is no such data, it cannot be called medicine, it is that simple, it can be anything else but not medicine or an approved drug. So, there is no secret sauce to develop any drug or medicine, there is no need for a statement of an expert, you just need clinical data that can be verified by an independent body. So, anyone or any company claiming anything as a drug doesn't need any celebrity, govt backing, or opinions, just producing clinical data, proving the drug's safety and efficacy, and getting the approval. You just need one reproducible experiment with verifiable data to prove or disapprove any scientific hypothesis right or wrong, it's that simple, but it's not at all easy as collecting such data may not be easy in some cases. Drug development is science, not politics.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

India's self-inflicted Covid disaster

India's struggle in dealing with the second wave of COVID-19 infections has made it into almost every major news portal in the world. Covid-19 is a pandemic. The entire world is battling with it. Many countries are struggling to deal with the unprecedented burden on their public health system. There are concerted efforts on every level and at on never seen before levels to revamp even well-functioning public health systems. In light of all this, India's struggle is a self-inflicted disaster. Many countries in South Asia, including India, got lucky during the first wave of COVID-19 infection. Countries like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, and Shri Lanka didn't get hit that bad or didn't feel any pressure on their already struggling public health systems. This should have given them an advantage and some extra time to prepare for a possible second wave. History (Spanish flu) suggests that most viral infections don't just come once, many of them come in multiple waves and some reoccur every year that too with the mutated virus. Somehow, this thought didn't cross the mind of policy and decision-makers in India, they declared victory over Corona and started as if the pandemic was over, at least for them. The biggest mistake one can make against a highly infectious virus is to allow large public gatherings and India did exactly this. Large religious congregations, state elections, local elections, massive election rallies, everything was allowed without any COVID protocols. How did an opportunistic virus, like COVID-19 miss such a golden opportunity, it did exactly what it is good at, it spread like wildfire across India. The second wave not only caught Indians unprepared but it also created a policy paralysis where the lack of coordination of the governments at the state and national level was exposed. The government did not even try to show that it was capable of handling the crisis. People turned to social media to get help from whatever sources they can. Most of the relief work was done on an individual level, help seekers turned to social media more than the government portals. Many people got infected even after taking precautions as it was impossible to stay away from infected people. Many lives that could have been saved were lost, due to lack of proper and timely medical care.

It is still a great puzzle why a country with the world's largest vaccine manufacturer and largest generic drug industry didn't stock enough vaccines and drugs for its own people. When the entire world was procuring vaccines and drugs from these manufacturers by investing money, collaborating with them, and placing advance orders with almost every vaccine inventor and maker, what the Indian government was doing? What is their rationale behind not going for aggressive vaccination even after knowing that the country's public health system is utterly not capable of taking the load from any pandemic? I don't know if Indians will bother to ask these questions to their respective public representative, somehow in India, such issues don't make a good topic for a political discussion. Politics is unusually focused on caste, religion, and national security. In India, Pakistan can be a bigger election topic than the deaths of thousands of Indians due to the government's mistake, sad but a reality. 

What's the lesson? First, listen to scientists, don't try to underscore the damage by shutting up voices that ask questions, no matter how uncomfortable to difficult those questions are. Second, provide public health institutions reliable data, freedom to share information, and some platform to discuss and communicate this information with world experts. By sharing and analyzing such data only one can come up with the best policy decision in any pandemic. No country is risk-free in a world pandemic, all need to fight it and help each other when needed. This is why when India needed help arrived from all over the world. Finally, ask for accountability. A disaster of such a magnitude cannot happen without failures at every level starting from the top. If Indians don't ask these questions, demand honest answers from respective authorities, and fix the accountability they are going to face the same problems and wonder what went wrong from one disaster to another.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Vidai- a cringe worthy ritual which is still practiced

Vidai (or Bidai) is a ritual performed in Indian marriages where a bride is supposed to say a final goodbye to her parental home and leave for her husband's house. The ceremony might be called with different names in different parts of India, but the intention behind the ritual is the same, to do a farewell to your father's home and announce your entry to your husband's home. It seems that it is assumed that no home is the bride's own home, she just gets passed on from one patriarch to another. It's an emotional moment with everyone crying as if someone has died, there are many hit Bollywood songs specially dedicated to this ritual. No doubt, this is a very emotional moment of life for many Indian women. I always found it odd to see people crying in the middle of a marriage ceremony that was full of joy and color until this ritual took place. I am glad to see that many brides are now questioning this ritual and going to the extent of getting rid of it, I commend their courage and support their movement to get rid of such a cringeworthy ritual.

The question is why has this ritual not been questioned so far? One of the reasons is it is so glamorized by society and the movie industry that it has become mandatory to have this ritual in every marriage video recording, even brides who don't feel like crying are made aware that they should at least display some sorrow otherwise what people will think. As I already mentioned there are hit movie songs memorizing this ritual and making it an integral part of their memory and culture, this is how it managed to survive so long. 

What's wrong with it? Almost everything. If you look at marriage, the bride and groom are getting married to each other, at least now, legally, both of them have ancestral rights to the property of their ancestors. Then why only the bride has to go through this ritual? The bride and groom, both are starting their new life together, probably, on their own with minimum or no support from their parents. Then why this ritual is applied only to the bride? The time when brides started asking this question, this ritual is standing on shaky ground and its disappearance is just a matter of time. No doubt, as it does always, patriarchy and its overt and covert supporters will argue about how this is a part of our glorious past and culture, how it has some emotional or rational or even some scientific rationale behind it. They make this style of argument almost about every ritual or tradition that gets questioned, many of these arguments are either ridiculous or laughable, but it does not stop them from making it. Hopefully, girls will see through this ploy of keeping patriarchy alive through some rituals and get rid of this ritual or at least force it to become gender-neutral.

Every society and culture undergoes transformations from time to time, this is not only natural but also essential for its survival. However, such transformations are not easy, especially when they question long-standing traditions or rituals that people have followed without question for centuries. Many marriage rituals from various parts of the world have passed their expiry date and need a major overhaul. I am glad to see that change is happening and women are leading this movement of change.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic.  

Nine years

Today is the ninth anniversary of this blog. I can't believe that nine years have passed since I started this amazing journey. I enjoyed every bit of it, sharing my views with readers and receiving their feedback has helped me to grow as a person and learn from others' experiences. I always encourage others to share their stories, we all have unique stories and if we share them others can benefit by reading and relating to them. If you are someone who is still debating about starting a blog or writing a social media post about your story, please do it, you will be surprised to find support from some of the most unexpected quarters. My own journey on this blog is full of amazing experiences. I do not write for the sake of writing, only when I feel that there is something worth sharing, then I write a post. Also, some life changes affect our availability and time management, but this is natural, and as life gets busy it teaches us how to prioritize our tasks to utilize our time more efficiently. 

Recently, I started to reread my old posts to see if I need to update any of them and write an updated version. Many times situations change, new information emerges and our views might change or get modified based on that new information. This is a natural progression and we must be flexible enough to accept that we were wrong or some better options have emerged for our consideration. We get bombarded with so much information almost every second, and thanks to ever-updating social media content, it's not easy to process it. The way social media is designed almost every update prompts us to react to it, and it's hard not to react. This means we are expressing ourselves each time we press like or share the post, photo, tweet, or whatever. The internet is flooded with human expressions, this unique overflow of expressions is a significant cultural phenomenon and we started witnessing some social, cultural, and political repercussions of it. 

Thanks a lot to all my readers, here as well as on various social media platforms like Facebook where this blog is shared. Your comments and feedback help me a lot, all comments and feedback are welcome, keep sharing them, and don't hesitate to share even if they are critical of my post. 

Stay safe, stay healthy, and yes, keep reading. Love you all and thank you all.

Embracing our imperfections and vulnerabilities

Humans are the dominant species on this planet. Our dominance is evident in the way we control things and dictate terms on our planet. Our complex brain and ability to imagine and innovate are a few of the main reasons for our dominance. Despite all this, we have our own imperfections and vulnerabilities. One might ask how our dominance fits with our imperfections and vulnerabilities? How did we survive despite being imperfect and vulnerable? The fact is, our imperfections and vulnerabilities make us human and are the very reason for our success and dominance. However, many of us spend our entire lives worrying about our imperfections and vulnerabilities, feeling bad about them, trying to hide them from others, and assuming that expressing them might make us look weak and timid. Many leaders in various fields also try to project a rough and tough image of a leader, whereas a true leader is also imperfect and vulnerable like all of us they just know how to use them as their strength rather than considering them as a weakness.

Our society has always used difficult feelings like shame and guilt in a negative light. This is why most people hesitate or even worry when they feel these things, they hesitate to ask for any kind of help, and they prefer to keep these things to themselves which makes things worse.  We are taught to disown these feelings rather than embracing them or embracing anyone who displays these feelings. American writer and professor Brene Brown has done splendid research on this subject, her TED talk, The Power of Vulnerability is one of the most viewed TED talks. My own struggles with my vulnerabilities and imperfections have taught me many lessons that I use in my day-to-day life, this is why I don't hesitate to share stories of my own struggles. We are taught imperfect and vulnerable people cannot be good leaders, but these are just incorrect perceptions, and myths without any data to support them. On the contrary, embracing our vulnerabilities is a courageous act, and only a person with good leadership qualities can do this. Also, our struggle with these emotions is a continuous and ongoing process, we discover new vulnerabilities and imperfections as we progress in our lives, our vulnerabilities at the age of five are not the same at the age of forty. This is why embracing our vulnerabilities and imperfections is not a one-time act, but is a process that we learn and relearn every day. 

One of the reasons why people hesitate to display the courage to embrace their vulnerabilities is they lack an empathetic support system; they don't find anyone trustworthy enough to share these feelings. Even in the era of social networks where we are more connected than at any other time in human history, we struggle to find trusted people to whom we can express our difficult emotions and struggles without having a feeling of not being judged or exposed. This is a challenge for all of us, help seekers as well as help offerers, we need to step up to embrace our own vulnerabilities so that we can create an environment where others are encouraged to embrace their own. This is a challenging task, that's why it requires courage and leadership, and this is important for our mental hygiene. Once we learn to deal with fear, shame, or guilt about our imperfections and vulnerabilities many other challenges also become manageable. These feelings come to us regularly as long as we are conscious that is why it's important to learn how to deal with them and the sooner we start the better it is. Let's help each other as much as we can to spread this courage.  

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic.  

How to deal with a busy and chaotic mind?

Our brain is one of the most complex organs developed by nature. We are still trying to explore various ways through which our brain functions, with the help of incredible work from many scientists and other experts we could solve some mysteries about the way our mind works and we are still working to solve many others. One unique feature of our brains is that at any given moment countless thoughts compete to flood our brains. It's like an ocean of thoughts with countless waves rising and falling every second. Some of them become big storms and overwhelm us, the more we try to resist, the more they persist. Many times, it's not easy to deal with our busy mind, especially when it starts dishing out difficult emotions like fear, shame, guilt, inferiority, and anger, just to name a few. Some of us turn to medications and some to various techniques like meditation with the hope that it may help us to control our minds. Sometimes we are successful but many times we don't get any respite. How to deal with a busy and chaotic mind? Is it possible to control our thoughts? Can meditation help and is that the only or best option? If yes, how much? There are many questions like these that come to our mind whenever we get overwhelmed due to its overactivity.

Meditation can be one of the ways to deal with a busy and chaotic mind. One common perception people have about meditation is that it's all about controlling our minds and thoughts. While meditating people try really hard to resist their thoughts. We think mental peace means a thoughtless and clear mind. However, as per my experience meditation is not about controlling your flow of thoughts but about learning the skill of observing them objectively. Most of our problems are not because of the nature of thoughts that come to our mind but because of the way we react to them. We need to learn to control our reactions, thoughts are bound to come to our mind, many times, randomly, and we may or may not have any control over them. Remember, the more we resist, the more it persists. However, we can control our reactions to our thoughts, this is how I approach meditation and it helps. I suggest whoever is struggling to see any positive results from their meditation practice try this approach. I hope meditation trainers and practitioners also take into consideration the idea that one does not have to control their mind while meditating. Controlling our flow of thoughts is like trying to capture air or water in our fists, we might be able to do it for a while but it's going to slip away eventually. Our brain never stops thinking, as long as we are alive. 

The benefit of this approach is that slowly we train our minds to be objective about our own thoughts and learn to pause before taking any action based on the uncontrollable flow of thoughts. This training of the mind is the key because we cannot be in a continuous state of meditation, therefore, if we do not train our mind how to react (or not to react) then we may face the same issues once we finish our meditation session. Meditation is supposed to provide benefits beyond our meditation sessions not just during those sessions. The aim is not just to have mental peace and calmness during the meditation session but to extend that calmness to the rest of our day, therefore, during the meditation our mind needs to be engaged and not disengaged. The engagement should be passive because the aim is not to react but to observe the thought process. A peaceful mind is not a thoughtless mind, but it is a mind that is at peace in spite of many thoughts in it as it has learned how to observe them and allow these thoughts to flow without getting affected by it. It is not easy, but that's why not everyone succeeds in getting benefits from meditation, the reasons for success or failure may lie in the approach they take. Also, there are many ways and methods of meditation, we should try as many as we can and choose whichever suits our lifestyle and needs.    

Remember, meditation is not medication, it's not a pill that will show an instant effect and offer immediate relief. Meditation is like a game, you win some and lose some, but to win the game you need to play it first, if you don't play you don't win. It is also important to give our 100% and enjoy the play, then only our chances of winning increase. If we play any game for the sake of winning without enjoying the game, it won't benefit us whether we win or lose, the same is true for meditation, jump into it only when you are ready to enjoy the process, and the results will follow eventually. Also, keep in mind that medication and meditation are not mutually exclusive, they are not either-or options, one can select both and benefit from both options. Many people commit this mistake and reject the other path thinking they cannot go together. Medication is an important option, it should be on the top of our list and must be given the respect it deserves, it can do wonders and change lives, but we can ignore it only at our own peril. 

There are many ways available to deal with a busy and chaotic mind, consider all options, and choose whichever suits you best, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for our mental health. Find your path and follow it sincerely. Good mental health is not a destination but a lifelong journey, enjoy the journey without worrying about the destination because there is no destination, all the very best. 

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic.  

My marriage - A love story

Reena and I got married almost 23 years back. It was a classic arranged marriage and a non-classic love story. I call it a nonclassic love story because there was no love at first sight, there was no dating, we did not go to the same school or college, we did not even live in the same state of India. Our marriage was fixed before we even knew each other as a person. The story began when a marriage proposal was brought by an acquaintance, when my parents found that the proposal made sense to them, the information was shared with me, and when I approved, things were finalized. There was just one deviation from the standard protocol of arranged marriage, I put one condition that I wanted to meet the girl before we finalized the date. I wanted to make sure that she was OK with all this as I knew that if she was not then she wouldn't say so under the pressure of hurting her parents, whereas I had the male privilege to say no and I was willing to use that privilege if there was anything which she didn't like in this proposed relationship, and meeting her was the only way to find this. I also wanted to give her an idea about what is she signing up for. I was not a typical groom which she would have expected with a stable job and set career path. I was still doing my Ph.D. and there was no way to predict which way my career might go, I wanted her to know all these things. Our meeting went very well, mostly I talked, but I was convinced that there was no pressure on her to marry me. It might be shocking to some readers to know that in India people divide marriage between love and arranged marriage, this means that they really believe that there can be a marriage without any love between the two individuals who are getting married. Love is not a precondition for an arranged marriage in India, it's hard to believe, but that's how it is.

We got married after almost a year since we first met. During that year, we did talk with each other on the phone (those were days of long-distance STD calls from a phone booth) and exchanged a few or maybe just one letter. This didn't help much to move our relationship further in any meaningful way. There was no face-to-face interaction with each other until we saw each other on the day of our marriage. Our marriage was held in Varanasi, it was a routine affair, like any other arranged marriage with all the rituals and extravaganza. A couple of days after our marriage, Reena moved with me to Pune, my birthplace in the state of Maharashtra in India. When I met with Reena and during our phone conversations I realized that we were different from each other, we did not even speak the same language. I spoke Marathi at home and English/Marathi at my lab. I knew Hindi because of Bollywood and the basics of Bhojpuri which I picked up so that I can communicate with my grandmothers, and other relatives whenever I visited my ancestral village in Uttar Pradesh. Reena and I began our conversations in Hindi. When we started living with each other we really realized how different we were from each other. We almost had nothing in common, two lost individuals brought together by the randomness of life. 

Our journey together began in a joint family where we lived with my parents and two brothers. Reena needed to adjust to a much smaller house, a much-crowded place, and with a husband who was mostly away from home working in a lab for his Ph.D. It was not easy for both of us. For her to move hundreds of miles away from her hometown and live in a completely new place with strangers with a different culture and language. For me to deal with the pressures of Ph.D. work and the ups and downs of a graduate student's life along with dealing with this new person in my life. In the beginning, we both were confused, and not sure how this thing would work. Maybe living in a joint family helped a little bit. Slowly we started understanding each other, we recognized our differences, they were huge, but we found a way to deal with them. We decided that we were not going to try to change each other against the other's will, this helped a lot. Our differences, no matter how big, never came in between us and I think that's the biggest reason why our marriage worked. We never forced each other to follow each other's beliefs and convictions. When I moved away from religion Reena didn't make a big deal about it, she continued on with her journey following her religion and beliefs without me being an active participant with her. Her patience and determination to deal with some unpleasant situations, especially, to manage confrontations within my own family due to my confrontational behavior is very impressive. Most importantly, we both became the biggest cheerleaders for each other. It's not that we succeeded in whatever we tried, but we did not discourage each other from taking risks or following an unchartered path. The arrival of our kids added another dimension to our relationship. Reena and the kids joined me in the USA when my daughter, Sara was 4, and my son, Yash was 1. Parenting our kids in a new country and embarking on an unknown journey brought us closer than ever before. Our appreciation for each other's role, and ability to offer emotional and moral support, increased day by day since then. In the US I saw a completely new personality of Reena, more independent, more forthcoming, and much more vocal. In Pune her identity was Vinay's wife or so and so's daughter-in-law, however, in the US in most social circles I am known as Reena's husband and I am extremely proud of this identity. We genuinely have mutual admiration for each other's abilities and qualities. Also, we do not hesitate to point out where each of us needs to improve. The frankness of our relationship allows us to be open and comfortable while praising or criticizing each other. It's not that we didn't have any arguments or ups and downs in our journey, we had and still have our own share of challenges. However, none of it made us drift apart from each other, rather, every such occasion helped both of us to understand each other better and brought us closer.

Our love story is not a conventional love story where a boy meets a girl and they fall in love. We randomly met with each other via this crazy system of arranged marriage and gradually realized that even though we have very little in common we complement each other very well and love blossomed. Our ability to give each other space, our ability to understand the fact that we do not have to agree on each and every issue, and do not have to share the same political and religious beliefs to love each other has been a major reason why our love and relationship survived each and every challenge that we faced. We do make our own mistakes and learn from them, some mistakes we realized on our own, and some our kids made us realize, no matter when and how we realize our mistakes we always try to learn and correct our course. There is no blame game, we both get the credit as well as the blame. Our ability to adapt to new information and accommodate it in our lives helped us a lot. Whenever we learn something new we tell each other and talk about it. We discuss with each other a lot, sometimes we talk for hours on some subject, this helps us to understand what both of us are thinking. 

Our journey has been amazing so far, every day is exciting, our discussions are animated and rewarding, and we spend so much time together and still don't get bored of each other. We cherish each other's company and at the same time realize we need to give space to each other. Fortunately, we do not feel the need to hide anything from each other, we are not scared of each other. Neither do I have to make an excuse to go out and spend time with my friends, nor does she have to justify why she is going out alone, what else one can ask for in a marriage. My marriage is a love story that I love to tell. I hope this journey continues like this with the same excitement and foolishness.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic.  

Age is just a number, but it's an important number

The phrase "age is just a number" is used to appreciate an act or some adventure, performed by an older person whose age group is generally not expected to take up these types of challenges. The phrase is normally not used when someone of a very young age does something great which is not common for that age (child prodigy). Of course, age is just a number like any other number. However, it's a very important number, not only it indicates how old we are but it also indicates unique challenges we might face due to the phase of life we are passing through. Someone at 80 going back to college is at least as commendable as someone at 12 finishing his/her college. People of different ages face different challenges and that's why their age needs to be mentioned while citing their achievement. If one looks at the phrase "age is just a number" it's hard not to get the impression that the phrase is coined to trivialize the importance of age, especially for older people. One of the aims is also to encourage people not to think of their age as a barrier while deciding to take up new challenges. Whenever we read this phrase, we immediately understand that it is being used to appreciate something extraordinary done by an older person, we immediately notice the age and appreciate that particular achievement just because of the age of that person.     

There is nothing wrong with mentioning the age of a person to highlight the kind of difficulties and challenges they might have faced due to their age. Depending on how old we are we face different personal, social, and familial obstacles. Even our mental health gets affected as we get old. Also, each person has a set of their own problems which may or may not become worse with their age. Older age does have its own advantages but it also comes with its own challenges. It is impossible to ignore a person's age while looking at what they have achieved. If it is something that is not common at that age people tend to appreciate that achievement more compared to something that is considered as a norm for that age. Therefore, it is important to take into consideration our age, but just to devise our plan, not to decide whether we should take up the challenge or not. Our plan or route might differ to achieve some task due to our age, but our attitude shouldn't. Keep your age in mind, not as a warning but as a reminder that you may need to try harder compared to others, this should motivate us to work hard because the sense of achievement will be much bigger. Be ready and dive in, remember, age is just a number. 

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Happy new year

2020 was not an ordinary year. The entire world faced the unprecedented challenge of dealing with a pandemic that we wrongly assumed would never hit us again. We spent most of 2020 dealing with a variety of challenges thrown at us by the Covid-19 pandemic. There are stories of immense loss and personal tragedies, at the same time there are also stories of immense courage, determination, and resilience from all over the world. We got confused, scared, and even misled by people who were supposed to guide us, we became anxious about this added uncertainty in our lives, some of us lost some near and dear ones, and some of us faced personal and professional setbacks. However, after the initial chaos, we adjusted, adapted, and tried our best to deal with whatever challenges came our way, the response was not perfect, but there was a response and there was always hope. Humanity has survived many such challenges and will survive many more if they come our way.

Soon, we will get over this pandemic and life will come back to its new normal. I am calling it a new normal because life not necessarily going to be the same as it was before. Things are bound to change. Along with throwing many surprises, this pandemic has taught us many things, both, in a personal and professional capacity. Many companies and other institutions realized that working remotely is not a bad option to provide to employees who want it, we do have technological capabilities to support online traffic for a large workforce. We also realized that we can increase the frequency of our interpersonal interactions by supplementing them with technological platforms that are being invented almost every day. Of course, some interactions are always better if they can be done in person, but many times, some constraints stop us from being physically present, during those times, we can make use of technology and still be a part of these special moments. We also learned the importance of supporting each other, listening to each other, and the importance of being in touch. There are many such lessons we learned as a society, family, and also as an individual. These lessons are going to stay with us. Years like 2020, teach us a lot and transform us internally as well as externally. We will see some of these changes which we were forced to adapt as becoming a new norm.

Personally, for me, 2020 was not bad at all. I finished law school and passed two bar exams, I am working at a firm where I wanted to work. I also managed to remain physically active in the way I wanted. I adapted to the changes in circumstances and devised ways to be physically active while working from home. My interactions with my family increased a lot as we all had to spend so much time together, we learned quite a few things about each other which we could not have done without these changed circumstances.

We already entered the new year, 2021. No doubt, we are starting this year with a lot of hope and enthusiasm. We are going to win our battle with this pandemic and move on. We all are looking forward to getting rid of many restrictions due to this pandemic, especially related to international travel. Let's keep doing all the good things that we learned during these unprecedented times, let's continue to focus on our health and overall well-being. Let's be happy and try to spread happiness. Let's begin this year with a resolve that no matter what challenges come our way we will deal with them to the best of our capabilities. Wishing you all a happy new year.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic.