The phenomenon of over-earning

We are taught at a very young age the importance of money to live a decent life, we are also told that it is important to earn a decent wage to earn that money to support ourselves and our families. However, we are not taught how much money is enough for a person or a family to live a decent life. The result is we all learn from various sources what is a decent life, we are coached about how to be happy, and we are continuously bombarded with advertisements and messages that claim to inform us about what we need. I wish this all could help us at least to draw a baseline for what we really need to fulfill our needs and be content. These advertisements, movies, and now social media confuse us so much that we don't even know the difference between our needs and desires. We routinely mistake our desires for our needs and run after them as if we can't survive without them.

There is no denial of the importance of money in our society. We need money (or something that society values) for almost everything, food, clothes, shelter, and any other services we need. It is also true that this pressure to earn money motivates many of us to take many challenging jobs in our lives and many of us achieve great things and help society while trying to fulfill our needs and desires. So, if the pressure to be self-sufficient motivates us to earn what's the problem? 

The problem is we are not told where to stop, and most of us have no idea how much we need to earn to feel safe and comfortable, this is what results in a phenomenon of over-earning. We are filled with so much uncertainty and insecurity that we can't stop thinking about making more money. The desire to make more money is not a problem in itself, but to get trapped in the phenomenon of over-earning and stop enjoying life is the problem. Initially, we need a decent job and residence, then, want to own a house and a car, then, even a bigger house and a more fancy car, and we keep on shifting the goalpost throughout our lives without celebrating the goals that we achieve. We try to make sure we have enough for the uncertain things that may or may never happen in our lives, for example, unemployment, our kids going to expensive schools, and fancy holidays that we are told are necessary to live a happy life. We are sold countless dreams every day, and what we do, we chase them all. We earn and save for that one vacation that we dream about every year and don't manage to take because the very job we do to earn money for that vacation does not allow us to take any time off. We save money and then pressure our kids to get into that prestigious college or university where our kids may not want to go. Everyone's list can be unique, but the problem is the same, we are trapped in over-earning, forever, and our insecurities and fears grow so much on us that we can't come out of them. We keep on fearing for things that may never happen and save money for things that we may never do. It's like running on a treadmill from which we don't know how to get off or slow down.

So, is there any solution? It depends. I know this is not a desirable answer, but that's what it is, it really depends on how badly you are trapped in over-earning. The first step is to acknowledge that we have enough of what we need and we are over-earning. Then, try to differentiate between our needs and desires, keep a check on our insecurities, stop worrying, make sure to take those vacations for which we save, and be aware of all the brainwashing and conditioning we are subjected to by countless advertisements and social media posts. It's not easy, as having more money than we need is comforting, no one likes to live on the edge, but the reality is that most of us live like we are living on the edge even after having more money than what we need and we should work towards changing this. Over-earning is a thing, it's not some hypothetical problem, it adds stress to our lives and forces us to live in the perpetual feeling of insecurity. It seems that during the last couple of years, many people have realized the problem of over-earning due to losses they suffered during the COVID-19 pandemic. It took a pandemic for us to realize that our priorities were messed up. But now as we realize the problem, let's fix it.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic.  

Religion is like a personal medication, don't brag about it

During one of my discussions on Facebook, someone said that "religion is also good when taken like medicine." This statement might sound strange to some people but in a way it is true. I always believed that religion and religious beliefs are very personal matters of any individual much like their personal medication. Many people need some type of medication for some health issues, these issues can be physical or mental. Every patient who visits any doctor for some problems gets their personal prescription to improve their health. Apart from prescription medications, people can buy over-the-counter medicines on their own for a variety of conditions that are not that serious. Many people have to take these medications daily, some medicines suit them which they continue to take and some do not which they discontinue or find a substitute medication. But very few discuss these things openly in public, we don't go on telling people around us what medication we take and how good we feel because of that medicine. We don't start recommending those medicines to everyone without knowing their health condition. We don't do this specifically because we feel that it is not appropriate to share a very personal matter in public and also because we know whatever medicine is good or suitable for us may or may not suit another person. There are also very strict laws in many countries to protect the personal medical history of patients. People do share these things with their close ones which is a normal thing to do, but most refrain from boasting about their list of medications in public. Religion is also a very personal thing, many people need it for their personal well-being. This need is very genuine for them, and it is quite reasonable that such people try to satisfy this need by following one or more religions. There are many options available in the market of religion, we all get one option by default, the one in which we are born, but we can shop around and change to whatever other religion we like. One can compare religion with personal medication, people use religion for their personal well-being as they use medicines to improve their health. Many of them get some benefits and enjoy the many good things that come along with it. As long as they keep it personal and use it for their own benefit, things are fine and no one should have any issue with this practice.

Things start getting complicated when people start to force their religion on others, that too without bothering to know if other people need it or not. When a deeply personal thing like religion is forced to homogenize society, it creates a lot of problems. People who don't like it start resisting it, and some launch their own products which creates competition and a lot of competition in the market of religion. This competition creates a lot of rivalries, like rivalries between various pharmaceutical companies. The only difference is pharma company rivalries ultimately help patients as it results in more medicines and cheaper prices, but religions hate rivalries, they either try to destroy other religions or make every effort to convert people to their own religion. Religious rivalries did create more religions, but it also resulted in violent communal conflicts. So far, millions of people died in such conflicts all over the world. Even after all this people fail to understand that religion is a very personal matter, there is no need for a public display of it. 

Maybe like medicines we need a regulated market for all religions. Now one can ask why something like religion needs rules and regulations like pharma products. This is specifically because like every medication, religion also has many side effects and some of them are really serious. The tendency of many religious groups to indulge in communal violence is one of the fatal side effects. Gender discrimination, suppression of certain classes, and superstitions are a few other noticeable and serious side effects. People who practice religion should be aware of these things as they directly affect them. It would be a really good idea for every religion to publish a list of side effects that it may cause. It will be a good idea to make such a list mandatory as it is for every approved medicine. It can help people to choose a religion that suits their needs and minimize its side effects on them. Various religions can list these side effects based on their history. Most of them have very well-documented history which can easily give them such a list of various issues and problems. The point I am trying to make here is, in today's world religion is a very personal matter, please don't try to make it into some sort of social movement. In the past, it was used as a social tool as nothing else was available, but that need doesn't exist anymore, so the time has come for religion to become a private matter, just like our medications.  

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Let go of the need to be right

We all like to be right all the time, in every situation, in every discussion, and during every argument. We all assume that we are right while pursuing any argument, and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Most of us feel that it is not only important for our reputation, but it is our duty to be right, and most of us hate when someone proves us wrong. Some of us are so convinced by our beliefs and thoughts that we feel that whatever we say is always right and people opposing us are always wrong, this belief is especially very predominant and strong among fanatics. It is all so good and nice if everything goes according to our expectations, we feel happy if we manage to win arguments, and score points over our opponents during discussions and debates. This feeling of being right drives us to participate in many debates and discussions passionately. We expect ourselves to be on the right side all the time and many of us take the easier route we start believing that whatever side we support is the right side. This makes us defend our religion, political party, ideology, and political or religious leader, no matter what they do or what they say, we use all our talent and intellect to defend them. This need to be right all the time has created rigid walls within our society. People are not willing to find any common ground to solve many important problems that we are facing today. People are more interested in proving themselves right and others wrong rather than finding solutions. I think that no single ideology, religion, political party, or any other discipline has the answer to all the questions and problems that we face today, we need to take the best from each field and try our best collectively to solve the issues in front of us. But the need to be right all the time is one of the major hurdles in bringing all interested parties on board to create some amicable solution for many solvable problems.

As a person who has both political and social views, I participate in a variety of discussions, some of them very fruitful and rewarding where I learn some new things, and some of them total waste of time leading to useless arguments. I try to enjoy both types of discussions and participate in them as long as I have some fun and get some knowledge. I always say that I like it when people prove me wrong, especially when they do it by producing reliable and verifiable evidence against the points which I am arguing for. I like it not because I love being proven wrong, but because when it happens, I learn something new, I learn something that I ignored or failed to notice, it teaches me something, and allows me to grow and improve my knowledge. I would be lying if I said that I don't feel bad or disappointed when this happens, but in the end, I feel good to learn something new, after all, I don't know everything and I don't have answers to all the questions. Because of my desire to learn something new, I don't feel the need to be right all the time, rather I am always looking for updated data to update my views and opinions. My aim in participating in any discussion or watching any debate is to know more about various facts associated with that topic. As humans we all are bound to make some mistakes, we all are bound to mess up or say something which is not right. The best way is not to deny it or sulk over it if someone proves us wrong, but to look at the evidence and accept the mistake, learn from it, and move on.

I have to be prepared to accept that I might be wrong. This is one of the basic understandings one should have while participating in any discussion. Thinking that we are always right puts a lot of pressure on us as well as makes us lose our ability to learn any new things from our opponents. Once we let go of the desire to be right or stop thinking that we are always right, then we become more tolerant of new ideas and views. Once we get rid of this desire to be always right, we become more receptive and open to alternate views. It is very difficult to get rid of our bias of being right all the time, but at least we should try. Please broaden your horizons and let go of the need to be right. Don't be afraid to commit mistakes or accept that you were wrong, but also don't forget to learn a lesson from them and move on.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Where was God when I was raped and murdered?

Recently, two tragic incidents happened one here in Connecticut and another in New Delhi, India, which caught a lot of media attention and there is huge unrest in public about both these tragedies. Along with protests and debates about why these types of incidents happen very frequently nowadays, there were many prayer meetings at temples, churches,  other religious centers, and even on the streets to express sympathy and support for victims and their families. People prayed to their respective God to save the victim who was struggling for her life (in the Delhi rape case) and to give courage to families who lost their loved ones (in the school shooting case). This is a regular pattern after tragedies or incidents like these be it 9/11, the 26/11 terrorist attack, or any bomb explosion, mass killing, or rape. People come together and pray but these incidents don't stop. It raises one question in my mind, where is God when people need him/her most? I am sure many of these victims must be wondering the same. Where was God when I was getting raped or murdered? Why he/she didn't come to help me? I know that many people have asked this question before and many people have tried to answer this question but none of those answers are convincing. I know putting blame on destiny or praying to God after any tragedy helps to deal with the loss. It helps to deal with death and the incidents that are out of our control, but apart from this what purpose do these gatherings serve? Are they like counseling sessions that help to deal with these tragedies psychologically and nothing more.

Many of these terrorist attacks are carried out in the name of God. In the name of protecting the religion from evil forces which these groups believe are trying to destroy their religion. Terrorists also pray to their Gods and get their blessings before going on these types of missions. They believe that their  God will help them to fulfill their missions and many times they are successful. So technically God does listen to their prayers at least in some cases. I am not talking only about any particular religion like Islam which is continuously targeted nowadays as a major cause for terrorism but other religions like Hinduism (Babri Mosque demolition and communal riots, etc.), Sikhism, Christianity, Buddhism, Communism were also engaged in many violent incidents all in the name of protecting their religion. Many innocent people suffer during all these missions and attacks. People suffer a lot of physical and mental trauma, many die or lose their loved ones and most of these victims pray to their God. Many of the victims are really devoted to their religion and God. All these victims who suffer and perpetrators who brutally commit the crime or carry on the attacks both belong to several different religions and believe in different faiths and Gods. God is present on both sides.

All these incidents (including the attacks and peace marches or prayers after those attacks) raise many questions in my mind. If it is really there then on which side God is? Where is God when all these victims suffer or get attacked for no fault? Why God doesn't help these victims when they are getting raped or getting murdered brutally? Why do these innocent kids get killed at the hands of some insane person? Why do helpless women get raped and brutally attacked? Is there any power that controls this universe and our lives or does this world work on itself?

Do people even think about these questions or they are too blinded by their faith and beliefs? I don't think God or any other superpower is responsible for any of these crimes or attacks. These all are human acts. People like us who commit these crimes and heroes who fight against these criminals or terrorists are again people like us. It's our job to step up, accept the responsibility, take charge, and work towards solving all these problems. All these issues and problems are created by people like us and we need to solve them ourselves, no one else is going to do this for us. So, if any God or any other superpower is not responsible for all these attacks or problems then does it make any sense to ask any help from them? Is it right to blame them or give any credit to them when we see clearly that it's not working and not providing us with any answers or solutions? This is the question that I want to put in front of you today, this is the topic on which I want you all to think today.

Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic.

Link for Speaking Tree post:
http://timesofindia.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-blogs/seekers/self-improvement/where-was-god-when-i-was-raped-and-murdered

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)  

Value and need of money

One thing I realized during my stay in India for the last few weeks is that the value of money has decreased but its need and importance have increased a lot. Things are getting expensive day by day. Real estate prices are increasing every minute in some big cities like Pune and Mumbai. There seems to be a race to earn money in whatever way one can. The competition is so fierce and tough that people don't even have time to relax and think which way they are going and what will be the consequences of their actions. India is known for spirituality, its simplicity as well as poverty. One can clearly see the effect of globalization on the Indian economy and its people. Things are changing and they are changing very fast, many things have improved, and at the same time, many have deteriorated. One can notice the speed of development by the amount of construction work going on around the Pune area. Huge multistory buildings are being constructed and trees are vanishing fast because of that, even beautiful hills are getting occupied by bungalows, and even after so much construction demand for apartments and land has not decreased a bit. I don't know if anyone has time to think about the environmental impact of this speedy development in Pune.

Many software firms have emerged and also many other private industries, this has created a huge job market for skilled workers. Government jobs have lost their status and importance. In my student days most brilliant students used to strive for careers in the government sector, because those jobs were considered secure (with all the extra money they could generate apart from their salary). The emergence of the private sector has changed this scenario completely, these jobs offer very attractive packages and this resulted in a change in the lifestyle of the middle class of India. The point of telling all this is that money has become a very essential commodity in India now, it's not like it was not but there never used to be such a blatant display of money in Indian society which we can see today. This development and uplifting of the middle class is very good, but at the same time disparity between rich and poor has become big. The gap has widened even more, there is only a certain class which is getting benefitted because of all this development. Along with these big apartment complexes, slums are also growing. Villages are shrinking, cities are growing beyond their capacity, they are overcrowded and all this is happening without any proper planning. This is what bothers me, it's all happening 'without any proper planning'. Currently, everyone is busy reaping the benefits of this phenomenon and is not bothered about its long-term effects.

People are feeling the need for money to match the lifestyle of other people around them. Competition is tough, pressure is immense and people are busy. It's good to compete but it should be a healthy competition, not a rat race where everyone is chasing others without knowing what the ultimate target is. One example of senseless competition can be seen in the car market. Today almost all major car manufacturers have their shops in India and one can see almost all expensive cars on Indian roads except hybrid car models. This is because it's not cool to have hybrids yet. BMWs, Mercedes, and Audis are status symbols and people like to have them but not the hybrids. No one even thinks about the environment while buying a car. This consciousness about our surroundings, about the impact of our actions on the environment should come along with the development of sustainable growth. Street vendors are still there and they still sell very good stuff but many people buy the stuff from malls, use of public transport has decreased significantly. All these social and economic changes have made people feel the need for more money even more.

Having the desire to earn money is not bad at all, living a comfortable life is good but it's also necessary to be conscious about energy consumption. The importance and need of money can not be denied or ignored but its necessity beyond certain limits can definitely be questioned. Everyone has to decide their own limits and work towards it, it can not be uniform for everyone. Pursuing our dreams is necessary, but we should check from time to time whether the dream we are pursuing is our own or forced on us by society. If we do this reality check from time to time then we all will realize the real value of money and can make our lives much more happy and comfortable.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)