The difficulty of being GOOD.

The Difficulty of Being Good is the title of a book by Gurcharan Das. It is a philosophical book that discusses various moral issues humans face with reference to the characters from Mahabharat. I read this book a few years back and found it very engaging. The topic of the difficulty of being good, came to my mind while chatting with one of my friends on the issue of gender discrimination which is present in every religion. I was trying to convey the point that, we all have our own biases and prejudices, many times we don't even realize that, but we all need to introspect and analyze our own thinking to get rid of these things, and it is a very difficult process. It is not that easy to be good at all times. We all speak passionately about the issues or problems that we care about. We all speak in favor of some political figure or celebrity who we love, and against some who we don't like. However, many of us change our stance instantly if we come across the views from the other side. We are normally not that welcoming of the criticism directed toward people we love and we are not that welcoming of the alternate views about the issues about which we care. I am not saying that we need to agree with all those things that opponents say, but many of us get mad to see that people can even think like that. One ideal example is when Hilary supporters can't understand how anyone can support Mr. Trump and Trump supporters can't tolerate the fact that people are supporting Mrs. Clinton.  This is one simple example to demonstrate the point that I am trying to make, the difficulty of understanding the other side's point of view.

By "good" I don't mean nice or not mean or tolerant. I am using this term for being impartial or reasonable or someone who can recognize the differences and still try to look for commonality. I mean someone who can agree to disagree, someone who can see and appreciate that every issue can have two sides and sometimes there is no right or wrong. Someone who can appreciate the ambiguity and uncertainty of life. Someone who can understand the point of view of an atheist as well as a theist. I understand that I am asking for an ideal behavior, but we don't want to give this title of "good person" for doing trivial things, right? There should be some challenges associated with reaching the point where we can call ourselves "a good person."

It is not that easy to be an unbiased person and criticize or praise everything objectively. It's not easy not to belong to any group. If we don't belong to any group, we don't get protection from any camp. When we don't belong to any herd where there are people who think like us and agree with us without any arguments and disagreements, this is not a very comfortable situation to be in. To avoid this discomfort and insecurity, we choose our sides, we either love or hate some political leader, or we get associated with a certain political party. We try to show that our religion or country is the best in the world and others are not that good. The drawbacks of our own religion are trivial, but other religions have terrible shortcomings. We expect others not to offend us, but we should be allowed to say whatever we want. When in a majority, we think that the minority should respect the majority's views and behave accordingly (a beef ban in India is an ideal example of this), but the same if group when in a minority, expects that their ideas and values should be protected and respected by the majority. I observed this last behavior among many Indians living in the USA. Many Indian Americans supported overwhelmingly Mr. Modi and his call for nationalism and majoritarianism during the last general elections of India but got very apprehensive about Mr. Trump when he said very similar things. These people feared that because of their minority status in the US, they might come under attack or suffer some angry reactions from the majority, but the same group was totally dismissive of similar fears expressed by the minorities of India. I am not trying to say that after Mr. Modi's victory in India minority is in a very perilous state or they are suffering at the hands of the majority, but his tone during the election campaign was not that different than Mr. Trump's tone, and I can see the different response by the same group of people, just because of their different strength in that society.

The desire to be good is very common and natural, but the willingness to make conscious efforts to become good is not that common. We all want to be good without making efforts to become good, and that is why it is very difficult to be good. It is tough, but we all can try to achieve it. I hope readers of this blog will try their best to be a "good person." We need more good people in this world, I don't think anyone will disagree with this statement. Let's first recognize the difficulty of being good and then try to overcome those very sincerely. I am trying my best, are you?

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

No means NO

Recently I watched a Hindi movie "Pink." It is a courtroom drama dealing with sexual assault and battery-related incidents. I liked the movie, it is very well made and all actors have performed brilliantly in their respective roles, but this post is not about the movie. It is about the importance of willful "consent" in any relationship. I watched this movie with my kids, they both are teenagers and will face a situation of dealing with their or their partner's willful consent in their relationship and I wanted to make sure that they get this message. When someone says "No," it means "NO." It doesn't mean yes or even maybe. It doesn't matter what that person said just a few minutes ago, it doesn't matter if that person was drinking or very friendly and seems to agree to your advances. NO means NO. There is no ambiguity and no confusion, there doesn't need to be any explanation or additional word, NO is a sentence in itself, it means NO, nothing more, nothing less.

Any relationship needs a very strong foundation, and to treat our partner equally can be the first crucial step towards building that strong foundation. I know it is not an easy task for many, our culture and patriarchal society never treated all genders on an equal basis. One can include any kind of discrimination to point out the inequality in our society, but here I am talking specifically about gender discrimination. Many cultures never gave women a chance to have control over their sexual behavior as they gave to their men. Rather every time some sexual misconduct happens, many societies try to find the fault in the victim's behavior. Many try to hint that the victim might have provoked poor boys (or men) and forced them to commit sexual assault. Now, before I move on, let me clarify that I know that men are also victims of sexual harassment, but data shows that still women are the main victims of this crime, that's why I am focussing only on women victims. This victim shaming is one of the reasons why many such incidents even don't get reported, as many victims fear social backlash or humiliation. It is still very common to comment on and judge the character of women based on their sexual behavior, the clothes they wear, or some of their social behavior (like smoking, drinking, etc.). We need to stop this, women need to claim their freedom to express themselves without any social prejudice. Women need to make it clear that it is their life and they are free to choose their path, same as men. They must demand equal rights, no more no less.

After watching the movie, during our discussion, I told my kids that they should understand one thing very clearly, whenever another person says "no" it means NO, and they should respect that under any situation. Always respect other's right to decide for themselves, it is a minimum courtesy we all can offer to each other and especially to our partners or friends. Please go and watch Pink if you like courtroom dramas, but even if you don't watch it, remember that NO means NO. No is a sentence in itself, it doesn't need any explanation or justification. Also, only humans can understand this denial, wild animals can't control their natural instincts, but we humans can and it is one of the major differences between our and wild animal's sexual behavior. So, if you claim to be a human, you should understand when someone says NO. Get this thing ingrained in your mind, NO means NO.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

My visit to Shri Swaminarayan Mandir in New Jersey

Visiting temples is not and was never a priority weekend activity for me, but that doesn't mean I don't visit temples. Most of my family is very religious and prefers to visit famous shrines and temples. I have visited many places out of curiosity or to enjoy the architecture and the general feel of the atmosphere. I really liked it when I visited the Ganga ghats of Varanasi, the temples in that city are also good. They can be maintained in a much better way and turned into very prominent tourist attractions of that city, but somehow state and local governments don't think like me. Even without much support and management many of these temples attract millions of visitors every year and help the economy of that place. A few days back I visited the Shri Swaminarayan temple in Robbinsville, NJ. My wife really wanted to visit this place as she heard a lot about it from some of her friends and also saw some spectacular pictures of the temple on social media. 

The temple is really beautiful, situated on very spacious land, with an ample amount of parking space. There is still a lot of construction going on, so I think they are still in the process of building more structures there as there is a lot of empty land around and I am sure temple authorities would like to use it all. People at the temple are very nice and polite, they allow photography everywhere except inside the central part of the main temple. If you are wearing shorts or sleeveless or something like that they will give you a cloth (something like a lungi and shawl) to cover your body. I was happy to see that this rule was not just for women, but for men also. I didn't understand the logic behind this rule, but at least it was not a gender-discriminatory rule. I wonder what will happen if someone enters the temple in shorts or a sleeveless top? This rule was not applied to kids, which made sense as parents would have struggled to explain to them why they had to wear lungi or shawl inside the temple. Inside the temple right in front of deities, there was an empty space for devotees and visitors to sit and pray. The area was divided into two sections, the front section belonged to men and the back section to females. My daughter was not happy to see the females being given a back seat, she was (and even I was) wondering, why didn't they divide the section into two halves which would have allowed each side to get a chance to sit in front of the deity. There was no prasad after aarti, I couldn't believe it, such a posh temple and no prasad after aarti? I love the taste of Prasad food offered at many temples, and most of them give it free after their pooja or aarti, but here it was different. It seems one has to buy Prasad from the temple cafeteria. I liked this business idea, after all, whether it's a temple, church, mosque, or any other religious place, they all are also business centers and have to generate income to maintain themselves. If you understand this simple basic thing, many of their policies make sense.

Our visit was short and sweet. We attended aarti and left for our next destination. My wife was really happy to visit the place and it made me very happy. The kids were also happy to see a beautiful structure and learned some mythological stories while we were at the temple. In general, it was quite an enjoyable trip.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:

1. http://www.baps.org/Global-Network/North-America/Robbinsville.aspx

India at Olympics - always waiting for some miracle

Since I started watching sports on TV I always loved to watch the Olympics. For me, it is a symbol of ultimate human struggle and triumph symbolized in the form of sports. We get to witness epic struggles and ultimate triumphs, old records are broken, and new records are set. Sometimes it is enthralling to watch and sometimes it is heartbreaking to witness an athlete missing a medal by a whisker. Today, I have the luxury of rooting for two countries in the Olympics (India and the USA), but I never watched the Olympics to support any one country. For me, it was fun to watch spectacular performances of athletes all over the world. Maybe, I developed this attitude as India rarely used to win any medals in the Olympics. There were some like Milkha Singh and P T Usha who came very close to winning a medal, winning an Olympic medal is an exception and not a norm for a country like India.

India started participating in the Olympics in 1900, and since 1920 they have sent their players regularly to the Olympic games. India's first Individual Gold medal came in 2008, by shooter Abhinav Bindra. The last Olympic Games (2012) was the most successful event so far when India won six medals, two silver, and four bronze. India has won a total of 28 medals in the Olympics so far (out of which nine are gold, eight for field hockey, and just one individual gold), not a spectacular achievement for one of the most populous countries in the world. Just for the sake of comparison, we can compare India with the most decorated Olympian in history, Michael Phelps of USA has also won 28 medals in just four Olympics, and 23 of them are gold medals! What can be the reason that such a big country can not match the achievement of an individual? Definitely, a large population or lack of resources and money cannot be the only factors responsible for this, because even countries more populated than India (China) or poorer than India (like Kenya, Ethiopia, or North Korea) also win medals at the Olympics consistently. It is also not true that Indians are not passionate about sports. India is considered a superpower in cricket. It is one of the most lucrative markets for this game and the Indian Premier League (IPL) is the most successful league for cricket all over the world. Is cricket responsible for killing all other sports? Many love to blame the dominance of cricket for pathetic infrastructure for all other sports, but then how come all other sports flourish in countries like the USA where basketball, baseball, and American football dominate so much? India even has a dedicated sports ministry to look after the country's sports activity, I don't think in the US there is even a position called the secretary of sports.

The major difference I found between both countries is that in the US kids start playing competitive sports at a very early age and there are professional private facilities available to them for almost any sport. Sports are a part of culture as well as school curriculum, and most kids are either directly or indirectly involved with some sports activity. For many sports earlier you start better it is. In India, many primary and middle schools don't even have their own playground, and playing is often considered as a waste of time. I remember that we used to get punished if my dad caught us playing cricket instead of studying, according to him studying was a much more essential activity than playing any game. I don't think my dad was an exception as many of my other friends also used to get a similar treatment.

During every Olympics, a question pops up how come a country of more than a billion people cannot produce even a few Olympic gold medalists? It is fiercely debated, cricket and government are blamed, but nothing more happens. If some athletes win any medals because of their own hard work and efforts they are hailed as heroes and saviors, they are showered with gifts and rewards from all over the country, and everything else is forgotten until the next Olympics. This has been going on for so many years, so regularly that this activity has become a regular drill for many Indians after every Olympics. Whether it is Sindhu or Sakshi or Abhinav or Sushil, they all won their medals, not because of infrastructure and sports culture, but despite that. They defied all odds against them and triumphed at the international level, but how long a country of more than a billion people can depend on the efforts few individuals to bring the ultimate recognition in sports? During every Olympics entire country expects some miracle to happen and at least one of their athlete wins some medals. If the USA can do it, China can do it, Brazil can do it, why not India? Something needs to change if India wants to compete with these countries in the Olympic medal count. Sports should become a regular activity, only then talent can be recognized at an early stage and be groomed to compete at the international level. Lots of perseverance, dedication, and hard work are required to achieve success at international level in any sport. Let's hope that the achievements of Sindhu and Sakshi act as a wake-up call and not as an opium dose which makes the entire country high and forget about ground realities. Let's celebrate their achievements with the intention of making it a regular event, not just a pleasant surprise.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Superstitions - Being possessed by deity

Being possessed by some deity, devi (goddess), evil, or God is one very common superstition. Once it was very rampant all over the world, many women got killed because people suspected them of being a witch. This belief is still present in some parts of rural India (as well as in some parts of cities also), Andhashradha Nirmoolan Samiti (ANS) defines this act as follows,

 "Being possessed by a ‘Deity’ ‘Devi or ‘Dev Angat Yene’ (in Marathi): During this condition, the individual completely transforms his or her expression and behavior (personality) to resemble some abnormal individual or a deity. The person is then supposed (pretends) to be possessed by a deity during that period he behaves in a convincing manner making appropriate actions and sounds to appear as if he is in a trance and pretends to know answers to all questions posed to him or her by gullible devotees."

As I mentioned before, it would be very wrong to assume that this superstition was only present in parts of India, but I personally witnessed it only in India that's why my views and opinions are exclusively based on these incidents. I used to see some women behaving in a very weird way on some days of the year. These days used to be some special days as per the Hindu calendar and it was believed that some goddesses used to possess these women, transforming them into some sort of proxy of those goddesses. Many people used to visit their homes with lots of queries and grievances. These people used to ask questions and this possessed woman used to provide answers. These questions covered a variety of topics, personal as well as social. Questions like: will my son get a particular job, when will my daughter get married, will there be enough rain this year to get a good crop, my daughter-in-law give birth to a baby boy or a girl. People used to ask anything and this possessed person used to give very brief answers. This question-answer process was very interesting and entertaining for me. I am sure no one bothered to check the accuracy of these answers, but they came every year to ask these questions. I have no idea how this superstition started, but I saw it in UP as well as Maharashtra (the two states where I lived in India).

My own grandmother also used to get possessed by some deity once a year. I mostly saw women being possessed by some deity, I am sure there were men also who suffered from this problem, but at least I didn't witness any such incident. As a kid, it was really scary for me in the beginning as these women, when possessed, really used to behave in a very strange manner, but slowly I realized that they were not going to harm me and I became more curious about these incidents. When I started doing some research about this I realized that this is a type of psychological problem. This problem can be cured with proper counseling and medical treatment, but hardly these people get any medical attention to manage this issue. The victims (like my grandma) and people around them all believed so much in the divine nature of this incident that they refused to accept that this was a medical issue. The victims used to get so much attention and importance that they also didn't feel that there was any problem with them and they should seek some medical advice to address it. After knowing all this I really started feeling very bad for all these people (including my grandma). I also realized that many people used to do these things knowingly or unknowingly to seek that extra attention and respect that they never used to get during their normal lives. I think this is why I saw mainly women suffering from this problem as their status in the family or in society hardly gave them any authority, but this phenomenon used to give them a chance to be a dictatorial authority at least for a day every year. I am glad to see that now these incidents have reduced significantly, there are still some isolated incidents but largely this practice is gone for good. I hope that if anyone finds someone in their family or friend circle suffering from this problem they seek proper medical help to address this issue as this is a curable condition. Superstitions should be challenged and eliminated not respected and preserved as a part of culture.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. http://antisuperstition.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=145

Where are the true liberals?

I consider myself an ardent supporter of liberty. Liberty, which means freedom to choose, express myself the way I want, and live life the way I like are among the most important things that I value. I consider myself a liberal, not the "liberal" in a way people understand in political terms, but a true liberal. Actually, I find the terms "liberal" and "conservative" quite misleading as far as their political usage is considered, they don't make much sense to me. These labels are used as alternate names for major political parties without any meaningful association with the real meaning of those words. Recently I had the following conversation with one of my friends.
He asked me, "You must be a supporter of illegal immigration and socialism, do you want the US to open its borders?"
I said, "What makes you think that? Why will I support illegal immigration?"
He seemed to be surprised by my reply and asked back, "Aren't you a liberal?"
I replied, "I am a liberal, not a moron to support illegal things".
This is the level of conversation between so-called liberals and conservatives nowadays. It is really amazing to see what type of impression they both have about each other. I can't associate myself completely with any of these groups. I found some really good and some really bad ideas coming from both these groups. I choose to call myself a liberal because, I am open to all new ideas, nothing is sacred or unquestionable for me, I am willing to listen to all ideologies and for me, only the good ideas matter not their source, so, I am a liberal, open to all possibilities. Unfortunately, I don't see these characteristics in many of these so-called liberals, these people have made the term liberal so restrictive and narrow that it means you are a Democratic party supporter. It is no more a description of an emotion or a trait that liberates you from barriers and makes you a free thinker. That's why I ask where are the true liberals?

Being a true liberal is not easy, and that is why there are very few true liberals around. Most people like to associate themselves with a certain religion, political ideology, or cult, they love the comfort and warmth of that community as it gives them a sense of belonging and provides a safety net that they need. This feeling of belonging to some group is a very important part of our social behavior. Actually, we all belong to some group or other, some of these groups are very huge (like country, city, or religion) and some are small (like school, friend circle, our workplace, etc.). This feeling of belonging is not wrong or bad, but to accept everything propagated or taught by that group without questioning it is something I don't like, I just can't do it. A true liberal will never reject or accept an idea just because it is coming from a political group that he or she supports or doesn't support. They will never bother about the source, but treat every idea or thought based on its merit. It is not an easy thing to do as we have to first acknowledge and then eliminate as much as possible our prejudices and think objectively. 

True liberals will always be fair to others, especially to people whom they criticize. They will support the freedom of expression for everyone, not just for themselves, no matter whether they agree or disagree with that group or person. They will never get offended by anyone's remarks as they will know that freedom of expression comes with the freedom to offend. They don't discriminate or judge people based on their food, dress, sexual orientation, religion, race, color, age, gender or any other thing. They also know that any type of bigotry cannot be curbed by silencing bigots, but by allowing them to express their stupidity and countering it with rationality and logic. They will not support or demand a ban on any book, movie, or speech. Any type of discrimination will not be acceptable to them, they also acknowledge that rights come with responsibilities. They support equality, equity, and justice for all. They not only support equal rights but also equal responsibility and equal accountability. They also accept that their views can be rejected, challenged, or even ridiculed as these things are part of any public debate or argument. They question or challenge opinions or ideas, not individuals. They understand that the freedom to choose is the right of everyone. True liberals also support feminism as it is about equal rights and eliminating gender discrimination. I would love to see these so-called liberals try to do justice to the real meaning of this word, until then I think I have no choice but to continue my search for true liberals.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Immigration is not a human right, but a granted privilege

Immigration is becoming a very sensitive and controversial issue in many developed countries. It is a very important issue during this US presidential election. Many countries like the US, Australia, and many European countries are favorite destinations for many immigrants from Asian countries as well as from other parts of the world. Actually, many of these countries benefit from the presence of immigrants, many immigrants work really hard to become successful in whatever field they choose and in that process help the country in which they reside. But this is not a one-way process, in return immigrants also benefit immensely. They get better opportunities and fair treatment, and many of them escape the troublesome social and political environment of their birthplace to find a peaceful dwelling in their adopted country. This process works very well as long as it is beneficial for both the parties involved, it mainly happens when the economy is doing really well, there are enough job opportunities for everyone, and in general country is in very good shape. But, does this process of mutual benefit can go on endlessly without having any side effects? Based on the current scenario, it doesn't look like that.

I am an immigrant to the USA. Even in India, my family migrated from one part (Uttar Pradesh) to another (Maharastra). So, I have first-hand experience with the issues that migrants within the same country or immigrants who move to different countries face. There is no doubt that my family benefited immensely from the places where we lived. We got better opportunities, better education as well a better social and economic environment. In turn, I am sure places or cities where we lived also got benefitted from our presence as law-abiding, responsible, and hard-working residents. We learned local culture and language, adapted to our surroundings, and contributed to the diversity and rich cultural heritage of all places where we resided. This mutually beneficial and harmonic relationship is the main reason that I have so much culturally diverse thinking in my own family. Three generations of my family can claim to have three different languages as their primary language (often referred to as their mother tongue). Immigration is a beneficial activity for the immigrants as well as the country or city where people are immigrating. But, I feel appalled when I see this ugly fight over the issue of immigration. I don't understand how both sides can be so ignorant and adamant about their arguments?

Whether we like it or not, the truth is that in today's world immigration is a legal process, you have to follow a legal process to immigrate to any country. I agree that it is cumbersome, lengthy, often very frustrating, and expensive, but it is illegal to enter any country without any proper documentation. So, anyone who has respect for the law of that country should follow this process or be ready to face the consequences of their illegal actions. I also understand that many people immigrate due to various reasons, many times they don't follow these legal requirements, but even after all this it is an illegal act, and if there is no law that takes into account all these factors then all these people can be in big legal trouble. One thing should be very clear to everyone, to immigrants as well as to citizens of that country, immigration is not a human right but a privilege granted by the host country. For all who face some humanitarian crisis in their own country, asylum is an option. Immigration is a special privilege, not a favor, help, kind gesture, or charity. It is also the responsibility of the host country to keep their immigration and asylum policies clear and simple so that people who need can understand and follow the rules. Immigrants come with certain rights and responsibilities, they need to be law-abiding residents and contribute towards the betterment of that society otherwise this privilege can be taken away at any time. Once both sides understand this simple thing, then I don't think there can be any issue that cannot be resolved by mutual discussion. The law of the land needs to be respected, any act encouraging violation of the law can result in long-term social and political crises which can affect the entire country. I hope better sense prevails from both sides fighting over this issue and they come to some mutually acceptable solution because once you make any issue a political hot potato it is almost certain that it will never get resolved. Political parties can use it to emotionally polarize their vote banks election after election without making any sincere efforts to resolve it. People also get emotional about these types of issues and give that opportunity to politicians to make fools out of them.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

When life gets busy

There are times in everyone's life when a person gets extremely busy, there is no question of so-called work-life balance as your professional work completely takes over your daily routine and everything else gets a back seat. This is not a bad situation as such, but because of some perceptions, many people don't enjoy it. I personally have no problem if this happens once in a while as being busy is always better for me rather than having no work at all. Presently I am facing one such phase, things are so busy that I didn't find time to write a blog post, this never happened since I started writing this blog. But I can't complain, work is as important as anything else in my life so it gets the attention it requires and I try to do it to the best of my abilities. I see sometimes people complain about their work, and talk about the myth called work-life balance. This mainly happens if you consider your work as a not integral part of your life. According to me, our professional life (which we all call work) is an integral part of our life, so when we separate work and life that means we consider our work as something that is not part of our life or something which always affects our life adversely. Actually, our professional work is a very important part of our lives. For many, it becomes an integral part of our identity, so, we should not look at it as something separate from the rest of life. Ultimately, when things get busy we need to prioritize the stuff as time becomes more valuable, this is the best strategy to deal with this situation, complaining doesn't help much.

This post is going to be very brief as I have some other things to do. Writing a blog, playing cricket, reading, exercising, and spending time with friends and family are among many things that I enjoy. At the same time, I also enjoy my work. No matter what I try to find some time to do most of the things that I enjoy, this is why I am writing this post today. Nowadays I am having a great time with my colleagues in the lab, the same way I enjoyed playing cricket at East Rock Park. It is good to remain busy in life, but the choice has to be ours about in what ways we want to remain busy.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

If you don't love it, then please leave it

Actually, I never thought that I would ever write a blog post with a title like this. I am saying this because I am nobody to tell anyone to leave any place except my private property. No doubt that this line is a very catchy phrase and this is one of the reasons why I am using this as the title of this blog post. The intention behind using this title is not to hurt anyone's feelings, to warn anyone, or to threaten anyone, but just to express my feelings about some incidents that happened or happening around me both here in the US and in India. Especially in the US, I see some people (including many who are citizens of this country) constantly criticizing the USA, they also criticize the culture of this land and I always wonder why they have so many problems with this country and its people? I am specifically talking about the US as this is the only country apart from India, where I spent a significant part of my life. I am sure such things happen in many other places, but I can only talk about the US or India. Another reason to select the US for this topic is that it is a very immigrant-friendly country and many people come here willingly in search of better opportunities, so the situation here is totally different than the situation in India. I noticed that many people blindly criticize the culture of this land without even bothering to understand it, they just go by perceptions created by some biased reporting of media or some hearsay gossip or worse some imaginary misconceptions and base their ill-informed opinion about many things associated with this country. I can understand that people living outside the USA might have some wrong perceptions about it as they don't get the chance to interact with people here or get to experience what is it like to live life in the USA, but I am always amazed when people who get benefited by their presence in this country spew hatred about it. Here my intention is not to say that the USA is an ideal country, free from any drawbacks or problems. Like any other country of this world, it has its own strengths as well as weaknesses, it has its own social and political issues. This is not the perfect place and I don't think any such perfect place even exists anywhere in this world, but definitely this country is one of the best in the world.

I am a supporter of complete freedom of expression (except the threat of violence), so in that sense, everyone has the total right to say what they want about any person or country as long as they are not threatening to incite any violence. I also understand that criticism is necessary and should be encouraged, but there is a huge difference between criticism and hatred. I don't object to any criticism, rather I feel that it helps to improve things if taken positively, but when people spew venom blindly criticizing something without any rationale or logic I feel pity on them. Initially, I used to get angry or used to think if they are so unhappy with this place and so dislike it, then why can't they leave it, after all, the US is not forcing them to stay here. In today's world immigration is not as difficult as it was a few decades ago, one can easily get a visa or even permanent residency in many countries and emigrate there.  But many of these people stay here or even migrate here from many countries from all around the world for better living, they enjoy a far better and superior quality of life here and still hate this place, maybe this is the best explanation I can offer why I chose this title for this blog post. Today we all have many choices as far as the city we want to live in or the country we want to live in is concerned, many of us are even capable of going anywhere in the world and making a decent living. Wherever we go to make living in this world, there will be some advantages as well as some problems. We should be able to make use of those advantages for our own good and honestly try to fix whatever problems exist so that that place also benefits from our presence.

If anyone is so unhappy about any place that they can't tolerate its culture or people living there, then it is best for them as well as that place to get separated from each other. They should try to choose a different place which matches their way of thinking and whose culture they like, it is as simple as that. Criticize all you want, offer as many alternative solutions or ideas as you want, participate in any political debates and discussions, challenge whatever is wrong and try to make it right, and raise your voice against any injustice, any liberal and free society will encourage any such behavior and feedback, but please don't abuse any country while getting benefited by its kindness and resources. If you don't love it and are not interested in improving it, then leave it alone, please don't abuse it or hurt it. This is true for any relationship, including our relationship with a country or a person. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

East Rock Cricket - A wonderful chapter of my life

Cricket is my favorite sport, it may not be surprising to know as I am an Indian and I guess the whole world knows India's obsession with this sport. As a child, I played this game a lot, in our chawl we used to have daily games where kids used to make two teams and play a cricket match. We also used to have matches between teams from different neighborhoods, price money used to to 50 paisa or one rupee, or the winner used to get the ball which we used to buy by collecting the money and playing the match. There used to be rivalries between teams and we also had some. Some teams were really strong and we used to dream to beat them and some used to dream to beat us. We both used to manage to fulfill our dreams once in a while, it used to be a celebration time and we used to talk about our heroic efforts for weeks. Many of these matches used to be very high-octane drama with lots of arguments over no ball or wide ball, but runouts used to be the real event killer, many times match was forced to be abandoned as some controversial run-out decisions used to create so much chaos and with no team willing to yield an inch, match used to end without any result. But even after all this there used to be another match on next Sunday with the same team. This phase of my life was really memorable, but after I finished school it all stopped, we all friends from our chawl went in different directions. I went to college and none of my chawl friends joined me there, so it all ended.

During my college and PhD, we used to play yearly tennis ball tournaments, and I used to be a part of my class or department team. I always enjoyed playing a team sport, whether it is Kabaddi or Cricket or Khokho, I love all team sports. One beautiful aspect of cricket is that almost anyone can play this game: short or tall, thin or chubby, fast or slow, doesn't matter, anyone can be a part of a team and have fun. Honestly, I am not that talented cricketer, I never got any official training to play this sport as my parents couldn't afford it. I used to be a wicketkeeper for our chawl team, my running between the wicket is good and I consider myself a very dedicated and hard-working fielder. I get very upset whenever I drop a catch or allow an extra run. I play hard for my team to win and like to be on the winning side, but that doesn't happen all the time and it is a part and parcel of any sportsperson's life.

After coming to the US I never got a chance to play cricket until I met with some cricket-enthusiastic Yale undergraduates. My friend Vishnu was very instrumental in all this. I really enjoyed their company and loved their enthusiasm for the game of cricket. Then East Rock cricket happened, every weekend Saturday and Sunday from 8 AM to 10 AM was booked for cricket. It all started with 5-6 enthusiastic Yale postdocs and then it grew from there. We played sometimes under ideal and many times under not-so-ideal ground conditions. Our grounds used to have so many tall trees, we call them Jonty Rhodes (a very dynamic and phenomenal South African fielder). Many superb shots which might have gone to six on any other ground used to land right in front of the bowler because of those trees, but still I loved every bit of it. And yes, there used to to taunts, arguments, fights, and drama, and many times I used to be a part of this commotion. Honestly, it used to remind me of my chawl days, the only difference was the language, it used to happen in Marathi at that time and here at East Rock, it was a mixture of Hindi and English. Most of these arguments used to be pointless with no right or wrong side, they all used to happen in the heat of the moment, and there used to be lots of anger and frustration, but there never used to be any malice or hate in it.

I don't know when, how, and why, but slowly something changed either in me or in the environment of East Rock cricket. Arguments started getting personal, and winning the game became more important than giving everyone a chance to play this amazing game. Of course, winning is an important aspect of any game, so there is nothing wrong in putting on a fierce fight to win any game, but that should not involve insulting any individual, especially for their intent, skills, and physique. I am a big supporter of free speech, so I cannot complain about what someone should say and shouldn't. Playing to win at any cost might be a good approach for competitions like the World Cup, but for me winning is just one part of recreational games, it is a bonus. I like to play some really good competitive sports in a fun and supportive environment.

I don't play cricket for fitness, for this I can do many more things which are more efficient and kind to my body compared to cricket. I really enjoyed this journey. I suggest any cricket enthusiast living in and around New Haven to join this amazing group and enjoy the great game of cricket. I am sure that they all will love the drama which also comes with it. I don't think I can completely stop playing cricket or stop visiting the East Rock cricket team, I am too attached to them and cricket. It was like a serious commitment for me for the last few years, my weekend plans used to revolve around it, but now it won't be the case. Carry on the baton guys, people come and people go, but the show must go on and you guys know that we all put on an amazing show, so keep it up.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright : Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]