Superstitions - Being possessed by deity

Being possessed by some deity, devi (goddess), evil, or God is one very common superstition. Once it was very rampant all over the world, many women got killed because people suspected them of being a witch. This belief is still present in some parts of rural India (as well as in some parts of cities also), Andhashradha Nirmoolan Samiti (ANS) defines this act as follows,

 "Being possessed by a ‘Deity’ ‘Devi or ‘Dev Angat Yene’ (in Marathi): During this condition, the individual completely transforms his or her expression and behavior (personality) to resemble some abnormal individual or a deity. The person is then supposed (pretends) to be possessed by a deity during that period he behaves in a convincing manner making appropriate actions and sounds to appear as if he is in a trance and pretends to know answers to all questions posed to him or her by gullible devotees."

As I mentioned before, it would be very wrong to assume that this superstition was only present in parts of India, but I personally witnessed it only in India that's why my views and opinions are exclusively based on these incidents. I used to see some women behaving in a very weird way on some days of the year. These days used to be some special days as per the Hindu calendar and it was believed that some goddesses used to possess these women, transforming them into some sort of proxy of those goddesses. Many people used to visit their homes with lots of queries and grievances. These people used to ask questions and this possessed woman used to provide answers. These questions covered a variety of topics, personal as well as social. Questions like: will my son get a particular job, when will my daughter get married, will there be enough rain this year to get a good crop, my daughter-in-law give birth to a baby boy or a girl. People used to ask anything and this possessed person used to give very brief answers. This question-answer process was very interesting and entertaining for me. I am sure no one bothered to check the accuracy of these answers, but they came every year to ask these questions. I have no idea how this superstition started, but I saw it in UP as well as Maharashtra (the two states where I lived in India).

My own grandmother also used to get possessed by some deity once a year. I mostly saw women being possessed by some deity, I am sure there were men also who suffered from this problem, but at least I didn't witness any such incident. As a kid, it was really scary for me in the beginning as these women, when possessed, really used to behave in a very strange manner, but slowly I realized that they were not going to harm me and I became more curious about these incidents. When I started doing some research about this I realized that this is a type of psychological problem. This problem can be cured with proper counseling and medical treatment, but hardly these people get any medical attention to manage this issue. The victims (like my grandma) and people around them all believed so much in the divine nature of this incident that they refused to accept that this was a medical issue. The victims used to get so much attention and importance that they also didn't feel that there was any problem with them and they should seek some medical advice to address it. After knowing all this I really started feeling very bad for all these people (including my grandma). I also realized that many people used to do these things knowingly or unknowingly to seek that extra attention and respect that they never used to get during their normal lives. I think this is why I saw mainly women suffering from this problem as their status in the family or in society hardly gave them any authority, but this phenomenon used to give them a chance to be a dictatorial authority at least for a day every year. I am glad to see that now these incidents have reduced significantly, there are still some isolated incidents but largely this practice is gone for good. I hope that if anyone finds someone in their family or friend circle suffering from this problem they seek proper medical help to address this issue as this is a curable condition. Superstitions should be challenged and eliminated not respected and preserved as a part of culture.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. http://antisuperstition.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=145

Let's remove taboos associated with Menstruation

In my post about worshiping while menstruating, I tried to address the stigma associated with menstruation and participation in religious functions. This post gets maximum views during the Hindu festival seasons when there are a lot of occasions where women might face this dilemma. Many people have expressed different views and concerns in the comments section of that post. Some even asked for advice about what to do if they face a dilemma where their culture and tradition contradict their logic. When I read this article I decided to write one more post related to this topic of menstruation and various misconceptions associated with it. Actually, taboos associated with menstruation are not only a problem of any one religion or any one culture, they exist all over the world, in all regions and religions. Many developed societies have broken these barriers to a large extent, but still, this issue is a taboo subject in many societies all over the world. Why there is so much secrecy around this subject that people hesitate to discuss it in the open? Why there is so much ignorance and lack of information about this very important biological phenomenon that is directly related to our procreation? It is a simple biological process that we have known for ages. A lot of progress has been made in the area of sanitation and hygiene which can remove all concerns and doubts associated with hygiene-related questions related to menstruation. Then even after all this why do some societies or cultures continue to treat it as some contagious disease?

The root cause for all this stigma and discomfort associated with menstruation is some age-old beliefs, customs, and traditions. One can clearly see that even in societies where proper sanitation and hygiene methods are available women are treated differently during their periods. Somehow it is still believed that they are impure or not normal during "those days." Many times women fall prey to all this stereotyping and cultural pressures, they practice such traditions out of guilt or to not to make others upset and angry. Very few who dare to go against the norm then face severe criticism and are made to feel guilty about their behavior. Menstruation is not something they choose or do on their own willingly, they cannot be blamed in any way for it as it is a simple biological phenomenon. They should not be discriminated for a natural process over which they don't have any control.

It is good to see that things are improving, the rate of improvement is definitely slow but for sure things are changing. Many females are questioning this unfair treatment, and many of them are willing to challenge this stigma and confront discriminatory practices. All this is bound to bring that desired change, after all, how long unfair discrimination will last if the entire gender affected by it rebels against it? The more protests come out against such discrimination the more these things will be discussed. These discussions will slowly spread more information and more awareness about issues related to menstruation and will help to get rid of the stigma associated with it. Surprisingly people don't want to discuss or talk about such an important issue within their own family, we must give proper information to our kids about all these things, especially about things related to their body and sexuality. This is an essential part of their learning which will make them better human beings. This subject definitely doesn't need any stigma or taboo associated with it, females have suffered enough discrimination because of these things. We need to remove any stigma and hesitation associated with the subject of menstruation and related issues from all societies and cultures. This is an important subject for half of the world's population, we can't brush it aside or push it under the carpet as if it doesn't exist. I am glad to see that now females are taking the lead themselves to remove the stigma associated with many such issues. I am sure they will create space for their issues in discussion forums at all levels. I request the rest of us to join them in this quest.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. A Girl Gets Her Period And Is Banished To The Shed

A tale of two Mundans in my family

The incidents about which I am writing actually happened a long time ago, almost nine to ten years ago in my life. It is the story of mundan of my both kids. Mundan ceremony is very common and is known by different names in different parts of India. Note that it's not only common in India, but also performed in various other cultures and societies under various names. It seems the first haircut has some unique significance in every culture. According to the tradition followed in my family a boy or a girl should get their mundan (first haircut) done either before their 1st birthday if not then in 3rd year. I don't understand the logic behind these age assignments but this is what they believe, no one explained to me why? Because of this belief, many parents don't give haircuts to their kids for the first 9-10 months and then one fine fine day whole family goes to some temple, and the child's head is shaved or the first haircut is offered along with some rituals and prayers Normally, this haircut costs way more than a normal haircut, many times the family has to travel to distant temples or to some rich and famous venue (like Tirupati Balaji which is very famous for this ritual). So, there are many other things involved in this elaborate affair, it's not just a simple haircut.

The reason I remembered all these incidents after so many years was the discussion about mundan of my friend's son on Facebook. He was debating whether to go for it or not. Back then, I didn't face any dilemma about this issue as I was totally against it. According to me, to perform such an elaborate ceremony at a temple or to travel miles to some temple just to give a haircut to a child is really a wasteful idea. I don't understand the logic behind it, maybe there was some good reason to do this thing this way 100s of years ago but I don't see any reason to do this now. Why spend so much money and effort on a thing that can be performed with professional help at any saloon?

So for both kids before their first birthday, this issue came up for discussion. My daughter had very thick and beautiful hair at that time, she looked adorable. I registered my protest against shaving her head because I thought it was totally unnecessary. People give all kinds of reasons to perform mundan, starting from the original hair (womb hair) is not good in quality, they are thin, and if you need to shave the head to get nice and thick new hair, there is no scientific backing to any of these reasons but may be in some cases it works. There are some other reasons like womb hair is associated with undesirable traits from past lives, etc. But the major question was, why go to some temple just for a simple haircut and waste so much time and money? Why can't we do it in some saloon? But the hold of some traditions or rituals on people's minds is so strong that they are scared even to think about an alternative or more logical way. But the problem was that my wife wanted to do mundan for her, and as a parent, she has an equal say in what decisions we make about our kids. I can express my opinion, register my protest in the strongest possible way, argue over it, and stand my ground but I cannot force my views on my wife or on anyone. If I start forcing my opinion on others then there won't be any difference between me and many others who force these so-called traditions and rituals in the name of culture, religion, or God. There was a debate and heated discussion about this issue and everyone came to know my opposition to this ritual. I don't think it was a surprise to anyone in my family but I guess they were thinking that it's easy to talk about reform and change, many people do that but when it comes to their own kid or own family people compromise because of so many reasons the major one is to avoid unpleasant scenes or not to hurt anyone in their own family. I find this reason really strange because people don't hesitate to use the strongest possible words to criticize or question many things when others do them, like excessive spending on marriage, following some superstitions like this one, or the role of women in the family, but when their own family does these things then somehow they find some reason to defend or justify these actions. My family was somewhat surprised that I was putting on such a resistance to spoil such an important ceremony for my own daughter. To cut a long story short, even after all this mundan happened, I lost to the majority who wanted the mundan to happen. I didn't attend the ceremony. I don't regret at all missing the ceremony but I do regret somewhat that I failed to convince my own family not to perform this stupid ritual, but failures like these are part of the struggle to bring reforms.

The second time similar thing happened in my son's case, but this time I was not in India, everyone knew my opposition to this ritual, but it was easy for everyone this time to ignore me as I was not physically present there. In my son's case, it was done twice within a month (again without any logic and reason), one in Mumbai and one at Balaji - the famous Tirupati temple where every day thousands of people go to shave their head and offer their hair to God. I don't know why God needs so much hair from so many people but I know many people who go there every year and shave their heads. My kids asked the question why this thing was done to them to all who were involved in this ritual but they didn't get any satisfactory answers to date. The only answer they got is that as this is part of our tradition and everyone does it so we also did, it was even done to your father, but this explanation is far from satisfactory. So, this was the story of two mundans in my family.

According to me, this ritual is one of many traditions and rituals that people follow blindly (just like a superstition). They don't even think whether there is any reason or logic behind this, just follow it blindly. I can't do this, ignorance might be bliss for many but for me, it's not an option. I don't believe in forcing my opinion but that doesn't mean I don't express them. I express my disagreement whenever I face these issues in my family or somewhere else, and try not to attend these ceremonies. Many people (even those who can't afford them) spend a lot of time and money on these things but the same people don't have time or money for community service or charity. This is particularly sad in a country like India where there is a strong feeling for following culture and traditions but not that much for doing charity and community service. The mundans still happen but I hope this tradition will end soon, this will also save a lot of time and money for many. I hope more and more people will choose to follow a more sensible path rather than the usual path.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_haircut 

Narendra Dabholkar - the man who challenged my beliefs

Today morning (20th August) I woke up reading the shocking news of the assassination of Dr. Narendra Dabholkar. Some unidentified men gunned him down in Pune, this was more shocking because it happened in Pune, the place where I was born and grew up, the place which is considered very progressive and tolerant, an educational capital of Maharashtra.

For me, he was the man who challenged my beliefs and my faith when I was a teenager. I came to know him through his books. I never met him personally in my life but knew him only through his books, his social movements, and his organization, Maharashtra Andhashraddha Nirmoolan Samiti (Maharashtra blind faith eradication committee). I was born and brought up in a neighborhood where superstitions were very common and regularly practiced. This was going on for years so as a part of our culture and tradition, everyone thought it was our duty to follow it. No questions were asked, and no explanations were offered. I was also one of many who followed things as instructed, blindly without asking any questions. I was scared of bad omens, prayed regularly, was proud of my caste, and used to think that I was superior to girls just because I was a boy, the list can go on and on. However, as a teenager when I read his books for the first time, I was taken aback, I was shocked, and I thought, what the heck this man is talking about? Why is he trying to destroy our culture and traditions? Why is he not talking about any other religions? But when I looked around me carefully, I realized that whatever this man was saying did make sense, whatever questions he was asking were very logical, and whatever explanations he was offering sounded logical. After initial hesitation and struggle, I started understanding this man. Due to the influence of those books on my thinking, I started questioning almost everything around me. My questioning made many people uncomfortable and angry. Some even started hating me but my questioning never stopped, when I didn't get any answers from people around me I tried to find them on my own, and it started my journey of self-realization. This man initiated it and it's still going on.

People say all superstitions are not bad, and many are harmless. I agree with this, but his fight was not only against those superstitions but was also against that mindset that forbids questioning. The mindset that crushes any objections raised against established beliefs. He fought against this along with his coworkers for more than three decades in Maharashtra on all levels. The power of his movement was so great that even the state government, not willing to touch anything that is even remotely concerned with religion for fear of hurting people's sentiments has been considering (for a long time now) bringing anti-superstition law and relentless efforts of Dr. Dabholkar and his team on all levels was one of the main reason for this development. He was about to achieve what was considered an impossible thing to do (to force the government to form a law to stop exploitation in the name of religion and God). In this whole process, he made a lot of friends as well as a lot of enemies. Some people continuously abuse him and his organization, they brand him anti-Hindu, and anti-God. They want to preserve inhuman practices and rituals in the name of culture and tradition, for them, he was their number one enemy. But as they couldn't defeat him intellectually and couldn't answer his questions, they wanted to shut him up, and stop him from asking more uncomfortable questions, finally they did it by killing him. But people like Dabholkar don't die, they live through their ideas and thoughts. His physical presence is not required to carry on his mission. He has empowered many people who can fight against this social evil.

I am really sad due to his murder, but he was a fighter and he died like a fighter. This was the man who challenged my beliefs and my faith, made me angry, shook me, educated me about superstitions that were very common around me, then, ultimately changed my outlook. He shaped my thinking and taught me to ask questions. I am sure like me he changed many others. His murder is a slap on the progressive movement in Maharashtra, it's a real shame that such a thing happened in the state that calls itself progressive, the state that produced reformists like Phule and Karve. As a Maharashtrian, I am really ashamed. Those antisocial elements who were scared of his ability to expose lies gunned him down, as they couldn't defeat him intellectually so they killed him like a coward, the same as some people did to Mahatma Gandhi. His spirit won't die, there are 100s of Narendra Dabholkars now, how many they can kill?

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this incident.

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)

Links:

1. Anti-superstition leader Narendra Dabholkar shot dead

2. http://antisuperstition.org/

Worshiping while Menstruating - What's wrong with it?

Some cultures and traditions are very old, for thousands of years certain traditions have been in practice and people still follow them with a lot of devotion and belief. I am very proud of India's rich culture and traditions. There are many good things that one can learn from these traditions, but at the same time, there are certain rituals or traditions that need to change or should be abandoned altogether. Customs and rituals need to change with time. There is one custom where women and girls are not allowed to enter temples or take part in religious functions while menstruating (or during periods, the term is mostly used for menstruation). This tradition is still practiced in many families and many women also believe that they must follow this ritual. They feel guilty if they don't do this, such is the effect of this tradition. Every religion has put some restrictions on women while they are menstruating, so this is not related to any particular religion. Some forbid them from entering temples or mosques, some restrict their physical and social behavior, and different religions have different types of restrictions. There are many justifications for why these restrictions were introduced. Some of these explanations sound logical and must have been relevant to that era, but the strange part is even after so much progress in the area of sanitation and personal hygiene many people still practice these things. 

In Hinduism, menstruating women are not supposed to enter the temple because they are believed to be ‘unclean.’ Menstruating women are also supposed to keep away from sacred objects even in their own homes. According to the Old Testament of the Bible, menstruating women are unclean for seven days (Leviticus 12). A woman had to 'purify' herself after she finished menstruating until then anything that she touched would be considered as unclean (as would anyone who had touched her, or had been touched by a person who had been in contact with her). I have read somewhere that Buddhism has no menstrual restrictions at all (menstruation is just seen as a natural bodily process). However, some Buddhist temples do restrict menstruating women from entering them (probably because of the influence of Hinduism).

I spent most of my life in a Hindu neighborhood in India, women were not allowed to go to the temple, do poojas, or even offer prasad (offerings from temples). They were not allowed in churches or mosques during those days. In some very orthodox families, women were forbidden from even entering the kitchen during menstruating days. She had to depend on somebody even to take drinking water from a vessel as it was believed that her touch might pollute that water. The belief was so strong and rigid that it was beyond any rational or logic. Technically she was ostracized or quarantined. The effect of these beliefs is so strong that if any woman dares to challenge them every attempt is made to make her feel like a sinner. There are so many explanations and justifications for why this practice was started; some say it was because of hygiene (remember those were pre-sanitary pad days), and some say that in those days women's basic lifestyle required more physical effort and put more strain than today and this practice gave them much required physical rest. These explanations indeed sound very practical and valid for 'those days.' Maybe it was required back then, but why are we still practicing them even today? Today with sanitary napkins and other options very sophisticated and reliable methods of sanitation are available. Women are empowered and capable of making decisions about their own health and sanitation. So, why these things are still in practice?

The hold of these beliefs is so strong that many women still believe that there is something wrong with them during those days. They feel they are really polluted or dirty during that period and should not take part in any of these activities. I have seen my mother, and my wife practicing these things for years, and no matter how much I question them, how much I explain they are just too scared to break this religious dogma or superstition. Now after my continuous questioning at least they accept that this practice is wrong and should be discontinued but they are scared to do it. I already wrote one post related to the pure biological nature of pregnancy, similarly, menstruation is a purely biological process, there is nothing dirty, or sinful in it. Menstruation has nothing to do with any god or religion, it's just simple biology. 

Many people who believe in the supremacy of God don't even think about how a God can become unclean or polluted by the touch of a menstruating woman. Does this mean that a woman in her period has more power than their all-powerful God? Why any god should fear a menstruating woman? Womanhood is a gift from nature to females and they should cherish it and feel proud of it. Shame or guilt should not be associated with any gender's biological function. This practice of seclusion of women in this way due to some biological processes associated with their gender should stop. It is the duty of all of us together to put a full stop to such discriminatory practices. Let's show some courage to eradicate this practice, let's confront these things wherever we see them, and let's start this from our own homes. 

I understand that many times it's not fair to judge past societies with current social values and knowledge. Here, I am not trying to do this, rather I am questioning the beliefs of present societies that are based on past social or religious values. Because of these types of beliefs and superstitions, women already suffered enough. They are treated as inferiors or like a burden in many societies from the moment the fetus is known to be a female. I think the time has come to get rid of all these types of customs and rituals. We have come very far from those medieval times. As far as I am concerned I don't care what any religion or scripture says about this topic, if I see this type of prejudice and discrimination I voice my opinion strongly against it, and I question it. I know it may not change anything immediately but I do it anyway. Unless women themselves start questioning these types of beliefs we can't bring that change. I hope that more and more women will start doing it. I am sure we all can create a prejudice-free environment with our efforts and I am willing to do my bit. Are you with me?

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Links for further reading:
1. Culture and menstruation
2. When Religion made Women outcasts…
3. Millions of Indian women need URGENT support for safe menstruation. Kudos to Anshu Gupta for raising this issue.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]