Showing posts with label festival. Show all posts
Showing posts with label festival. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

I don't miss festivals like Ganeshotsav at all

Ganapati festival or Ganeshotsav was recently concluded in India. It is a very big festival in Maharashtra from where I come. As a kid and part of my teenage years, I was actively involved in this festival. Like most of the kids, I also enjoyed dancing during visarjan processions, singing aartis (devotional songs), shouting slogans, etc. But as I grew older and saw the real face of these festivals, observed what goes on behind the scenes, how much inconvenience it causes to people, and how much waste of resources it results, I ultimately understood its impact on the environment. I was shocked and I got disconnected from all these types of festivals. In our neighborhood, there were two major festivals Ganapati festival and Durga pooja, I have stayed away from my hometown for the last 12 years, but I never felt their absence in the last 12 years or so, rather I really feel happy that I don't have to witness all that nonsense which was carried out in name of these festivals. When I was in Pune, it really made me angry and resulted in a lot of frustration to watch all these things happening right in front of my eyes. Before anyone jumps to any conclusions let me also mention that I know that some celebrate these festivals in a very simple and private manner with utmost care not to hurt the environment around them, and I am not talking about these people. These are honorable exceptions, but I am talking about the majority, especially these public mandals who want to create some facade to display their bhakti and devotion. I am against this grand display of anything at public inconvenience, using public money, be it some political rally, religious ceremony, or anything. Why do people feel the need to demonstrate their love or devotion in a way that can result in tremendous inconvenience to others and a waste of resources? Even during some marriage processions in India music is too loud, people dance like crazy, and they block the traffic for no reason, it is good to know that they have some rules and regulations now to control all this nonsense, I hope they are implemented strictly.

I am sure there are ways to express devotional or religious feelings peacefully or in a manner that won't cause any inconvenience to others. I would love to be a part of such celebrations. I understand that community gatherings and celebrations are an important part of our social life. But somehow people don't like such peaceful ways, in the name of culture or religion or tradition they want to follow the rituals that have very little concern about their surroundings or about people who don't want to be part of that particular event. Many people feel inconvenienced due to chaos and noise pollution due to these festivals, but very few date to object. The problem is any objection results in some kind of law and order situation, the celebrating group claims that their religious feelings are hurt, and many times this results in communal tension. This is why almost all governments prefer to ignore these things and allow them to continue. For me, it was really torture to watch these things, I always wondered how those loud songs or excessive lighting, crazy dancing and shouting, and hooliganism while collecting donations for these festivals display the feeling of devotion in any way. Why do these people fail to think about infants and senior people who might suffer because of the loud noise that their speakers are making? Why do they fail to understand that it is not proper to block the road to raise tents and cause inconvenience to hundreds of commuters every day? Why do many of them insist on immersing those idols in the sea, river, or pond even after knowing that it causes water pollution? There are many questions like this, and I am glad that now there are many people who are raising these questions. I am also happy to see that some are working towards persuading people to donate these idols rather than immersing them in water. There is no doubt that all these festivals need serious reforms, they need to adapt to the needs and requirements of the current era, no matter from which religion they belong. But I know that it is not easy and is not going to happen so soon as many people want to continue with these things without any concern about others around them or about the environment. I am glad that I am away from all this. I wish all the best to all the people who are working hard to reform these traditions, they are really doing a very difficult and important job, and I salute them. I don't miss Ganeshotsav or any other festival celebrated in a way to cause inconvenience to others. I am more than happy to stay away from these things. But I still feel sad to see the wastage of resources and really hope that these reformist people will be able to convince the government to implement some laws that can minimize the effect of such behavior on the environment and reduce the inconvenience of people.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright : Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Karva Chauth - love or discrimination wrapped in love?

Every year 'Karva Chauth' (करवा चौथ) is celebrated, mainly in the northern parts of India. I don't know when this ritual actually started, but it must be very old. I guess it must have started centuries ago when men used to depart their homes frequently for wars or travels and in those days all these things involved a great amount of risk and uncertainty this ritual must have started to wish these men good luck and safety for their endeavor. In recent times, this festival has been glamorized by many movies and TV serials as the ultimate symbol of a wife's love and dedication towards her husband, so now it has become popular in many other parts of India. I am not against any festivals or celebrations. Festive occasions are useful for getting together, relaxing, and having fun and there is nothing wrong if people want to enjoy. But if we analyze the situation carefully it's not that simple. Many people like me are blamed or criticized for bringing up the topic of gender equality almost in each and every issue we face, at least I do this because all these issues are so interrelated that I can't help it and I hope this post will explain why I am discussing this particular festival as an example (this festival is just an example, the post is not only about this particular festival), this is the case of a ritual, widely accepted, glamorized and celebrated, which looks very harmless and simple but it can have deep effect on psychology of people following it.

Now let's look at this festival of Karva Chauth. A wife fasts the whole day (in many cases without drinking even a drop of water) for the prosperity and long life of her husband, and in the evening after some rituals, they get a gift of their choice from their husbands and eat only after seeing the face of their husband. The festival is exclusively for married women whose husband is still alive. The Festival looks very benign and many people think it's full of love and devotion. Fasting is part of many festivals. Muslims also do it in the month of Ramadan. Actually, nothing wrong with fasting, wives definitely have the right to wish or pray for the happiness and long life of their husbands. The festival looks like a very harmless ritual, a beautiful way to express love and dedication by wives for their husbands. Note that in the traditional format of the festival, husbands don't fast. Perfectly fine as long as it's practiced voluntarily, without any obligation, and not forced on all married women either by social or family pressure. Does it happen like this? In most cases, the answer is 'No.' If it's about love and respect, this fast should be performed by both husband and wife as respect and love in any relationship should be mutual, but rarely this happens. I have also seen many mothers-in-law calling their daughter-in-laws a day or two days before such festivals and reminding them that they should keep some fast to make sure that their son's welfare and longevity are not jeopardized. Also, there is no festival that I know where husbands fast or pray for the well-being of their wives. The social pressure is also tremendous, believe me, the guilt some women get if they fail to do this is very strong as if they missed a crucial dose of some life-saving medication.

This post is not a criticism of all the festivals or traditions or any culture but it's about the mindset which gets perpetuated in the name of festivals and traditions. Unmarried women and widows are not allowed to participate in this festival which claims to celebrate love and dedication. As I mentioned many such festivals are supposed to be for the welfare and long life of husbands and it seems that many wives and mothers literally believe that it's necessary to do all these things to achieve this goal otherwise something bad might happen. Because of this fear, many try to fast even during sickness, poor health, pregnancy, or under circumstances when it might affect their health. Many women get praised for doing these things in adverse conditions, they get hailed for their dedication, love, and respect towards these traditions and their husbands. A question comes to my mind, are these things only about love and dedication? Or is it fear of losing that person or something bad might happen if that ritual is not followed (superstition)? I also see many women who suffer physical and mental abuse at the hands of their husbands, many who are abandoned by their husbands for other women or for whatever reason observe these types of festivals for the welfare and longevity of their husbands. Does this make any sense? Isn't it a sign of Stockholm syndrome? I am sure something else going on in these cases, why do you want to pray for the well-being of your abuser? I am sure this festival is about total surrender but I have doubt if love is part of it or not.

Every issue has positive and negative sides, there are many families where this festival must be fun and a nice way to get together, they may not see anything wrong in it (even the exclusion of widows). I am against any festival that forbids the participation of certain sections of society just because of their gender or marital status (widows), rather I believe that the practice of widows being barred from participating in many rituals or considering them as a bad omen is one of the worst forms of discrimination and it must have started from traditions and festivals like this. Imagine how they must be feeling when all these women are celebrating and they are not allowed to participate just because their husband is dead. It's a very cruel joke played on them by society. I am not saying that married women should not express their love or should not celebrate just because few widows are around, rather everyone should have the right to express their love and respect for their partner. Why not include all women and men in these types of celebrations? If necessary, change the format of the festival and make it inclusive where all (irrespective of their gender or marital status) can express love for their partner (living or dead it shouldn't matter). If it's about love and dedication then does it matter if the partner is alive or not, male or female, married or not?

Look at the festivals in the USA like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Valentine's Day, where everyone can participate and there are no age, gender, or marital status restrictions. I know this is for marketing purposes, but at least they are open to all. Why can't we take this aspect of these festivals and include it in all festivals in India? We are copying many other unwanted things from the West so why not take some good things also. But I know that it's not easy to change these rituals and many people may not like my comments and suggestions. They will label this post as one more attempt to bring the issue of gender equality and criticize grand old traditions. I don't care about all this criticism but I feel festivals like these encourage gender discrimination and start instilling feelings of inferiority in women from a young age and we need to stop this.

 Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karva_Chauth
2. http://hinduism.about.com/od/festivalsholidays/p/karwachauth.htm
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome 
4. Karva Chauth...is it only about love? (link for more or less same article published on blog in Nov 2012)

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Karva Chauth - is it only about love?

Every year 'Karva Chauth' (करवा चौथ) is celebrated, mainly in the northern parts of India. I don't know when this ritual started, but it must be very old. My guess is it must have started centuries ago when the situation in the Indian subcontinent was very unstable and there used to be frequent wars. Men used to take part in many of these wars or travels (for business) and in those days all these things involved a great amount of risk and uncertainty. So this ritual must have started to wish men good luck for their future journey and for their safety. This festival has been glamorized by many movies and TV serials. Now it has become popular in many other parts of India too. I am not against any festivals or celebrations, they are a nice and very good way to get together, relax and have fun and there is nothing wrong if people want to have fun and enjoy. But if we look carefully, it's not that simple and I am not doing this as an intellectual who is trying to bring the issue of gender equality everywhere. Many people like me are blamed or criticized for bringing up the topic of gender equality or superstition almost in every issue we face. We do this because all these issues are so interrelated. I hope this post will explain why I am discussing this particular festival as an example. A ritual that looks very harmless and simple can have a deep effect on the psychology of people.

Now let's look at this festival of Karva Chauth, where the wife fasts the whole day (in many cases without drinking even a drop of water) for the prosperity and long life of her husband. In the evening after some rituals, they get gifts of their choice from their husbands and eat only after seeing the faces of their husbands. This festival is exclusively for married women whose husband is still alive. The festival looks very benign and many people think it's full of love and devotion. So, what's wrong with fasting like this? Fasting is part of many festivals. Muslims also do it in the month of Ramadan. Actually nothing wrong with fasting. A wife definitely has the right to wish for happiness and a long life for their partner. The festival looks like a very harmless ritual, a beautiful way to express love and dedication by wives for their husbands (but notice that in the traditional format of the festival, husbands don't fast, this is a noticeable difference). Perfectly fine as long as it's voluntary, without any obligation, but does it happen like this? In most cases, the answer is 'No'. According to me fast should be performed by both because I believe respect and love in any relationship should be mutual, but this is the case. I have also seen mother-in-laws calling their daughter-in-laws day or two days before such festivals and reminding them that they should keep that fast to make sure that their son's welfare and longevity are not jeopardized. Note that there is no festival that I know where husbands fast for the well-being of their wives.  The guilt if wives don't do this is very strong. As if they missed giving a crucial dose of some life-saving medication or something to their husbands.

This post is not a criticism of the festival, traditions, or culture but it's about the mindset which gets perpetuated in the name of festivals, traditions, etc. Unmarried women and widows are not allowed to participate in such festivals. I wonder how widows in the family must be feeling about such festivals. As I mentioned this festival is supposed to be for the welfare and long life of husbands and it seems that many wives and mothers believe that it's necessary to do this fast to achieve this goal otherwise something bad might happen. Because of this fear many try to follow this ritual even during sickness, poor health, or during pregnancy even when it might affect their health. Women get praised for doing this in adverse conditions for their dedication, love, and respect towards their husbands. So the question comes to my mind, is it love and dedication or is it fear of losing that person or something bad might happen if that ritual is not followed? Love or superstition? Many women suffer physical and mental abuse, and many are abandoned by their husbands for other women or for whatever reason also observe these types of festivals for the welfare and longevity of their husbands. Does this make any sense? This reminds me of Stockholm syndrome, I am sure something like that is going on here. This festival is about total surrender but I doubt whether love is part of it.

I know that every issue has positive and negative sides. There might be many families where this festival must be fun and a nice way to get together, and they may not see anything wrong in it, even if it excludes widows. I am against any festival that forbids the participation of certain sections of society just because of their gender or marital status (widows). I believe that the concept of widows being barred from participating in many rituals or considering them as bad omen must have started from traditions and festivals like this. Imagine how they must be feeling when all these women are celebrating and they are not allowed to participate just because their husband is dead. Another ritual to remind them how unfortunate they are, it's a cruel joke on them. I am not saying that married women should not express their love or should not celebrate just because widows are around. That's not what I mean, everyone has the right to express their love and respect for their partner but why not include all women and men in these types of celebrations. If necessary change the format of the festival, and make it inclusive where all (irrespective of gender or marital status) can express love for their partner or friend, living or dead shouldn't matter. If it's about love, dedication, etc. then does it matter if that partner is alive or not, male or female?

Many people who know me also know that I am not a very big festival fan. When I participate in any family function I want to have fun. For me, the fun is when everyone can participate in it. Just for comparison when I see festivals like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Valentine's Day, where everyone can participate there are no age limit, gender, or marital status restrictions (maybe for marketing purposes, but they are open to all), why can't we take this very good thing and include in our festivals. Anyway, we are copying many other unwanted things from the West that we don't need in India so why not take some good things also. But I know that it's not easy to change these rituals and many people may not like my comments and suggestions. They may think of this post as one more attempt to bring the issue of gender equality and criticize grand old traditions. I am fine with all this criticism but I feel to express my opinion about this even if many don't care about this issue.

 Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karva_Chauth
2. http://hinduism.about.com/od/festivalsholidays/p/karwachauth.htm
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome