Breaking the Silence: Why Couples Should Talk About Sex

Sex is still a taboo topic in many societies, and India and the US are no exceptions. Even today, especially in Indian or Indian origin households, many parents scramble to change the channel if a kissing scene appears on screen while their children—sometimes even teenagers—are around. The discomfort around discussing sex is so ingrained that even couples in long-term relationships struggle to bring it up. But why? Why do couples freely discuss politics, finances, entertainment, and sports but hesitate when it comes to sex—something that is fundamental to our relationships and overall well-being?

The Paradox of Silence

People openly discuss matters that are important to them. Political enthusiasts engage in heated debates, movie buffs dissect the latest releases, and financial planners talk endlessly about investments and savings. However, sex—despite being a crucial part of romantic relationships—remains largely unspoken. Even though most couples agree that physical intimacy is vital to their happiness and connection, they avoid conversations about their desires, needs, and concerns.

This paradox exists because of deep-rooted cultural conditioning. Many societies, especially conservative ones, have long portrayed sex as something private, shameful, or even sinful. This messaging leads to guilt, embarrassment, and the mistaken belief that talking about sex somehow diminishes its sanctity. But most of us fail to understand that this silence can be more damaging.

Why Talking About Sex Matters

1. Strengthens Emotional Connection – Open discussions about sex foster trust, intimacy, and emotional closeness among couples. When couples can talk about their desires, boundaries, and needs without fear of judgment, they build a deeper bond.

2. Prevents Misunderstandings and Frustration – Many relationships suffer because of unmet expectations or dissatisfaction in the bedroom. Couples recognize that there is a problem but they shy away from even acknowledging it. Talking openly about what you enjoy, what you don’t, and what you’d like to explore ensures that both partners feel fulfilled and valued.

3. Encourages a Healthy and Satisfying Sex Life – A fulfilling sex life is linked to overall relationship satisfaction. Couples who communicate about sex tend to have better intimacy, which in turn strengthens their partnership in other aspects of life.

4. Reduces Anxiety and Insecurity – Silence breeds insecurity and frustration. When one partner hesitates to express their needs or concerns, it can lead to feelings of rejection or inadequacy. It can send misleading signals that can be easily avoided. Open conversations eliminate doubt and create a safe space for honesty.

5. Enhances Problem-Solving – Just like any other aspect of a relationship, sexual challenges can arise. Whether it’s a difference in libido, medical issues, or emotional roadblocks, discussing them together leads to constructive solutions rather than bottled-up resentment. Sex-related medical issues are like any other medical issue. We are getting better with mental health-related issues but are still lagging behind with sex health-related issues. 

How to Start the Conversation

For many, bringing up sex in conversation feels daunting. Here are some ways to ease into it:

• Choose the Right Moment – Avoid discussing sensitive topics during arguments or stressful situations. Instead, find a relaxed and comfortable setting.

• Be Honest but Gentle – Express your thoughts and desires openly but in a way that is considerate of your partner’s feelings. Remember, being honest doesn't mean being abrasive and hurtful, one can be gentle and still be honest.

• Use Media as a Conversation Starter – If watching a movie or reading an article or social media post about relationships, use it as a jumping-off point to start the conversation.

• Normalize the Discussion – The more you talk about it, the easier it becomes. Normalize discussing intimacy just as you would any other important relationship matter. If there is no shame in engaging in a sexual act as a couple, then there must not be any shame in discussing this topic.

Sex is not just a physical act—it is a crucial part of a romantic relationship that fosters love, intimacy, and connection. If couples can talk about their finances, careers, and hobbies, they should also feel comfortable discussing their sexual needs and desires. Breaking the silence on this topic will lead to stronger, healthier relationships built on trust, understanding, and mutual satisfaction. If your relationship matters to you, then all aspects related to it should also matter. As couples, it’s time to talk openly about sex, without shame or hesitation—because a fulfilling relationship deserves nothing less.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Privileged and Unisex Historical Perspectives

Human history is rich with literature from diverse cultures and societies. Across eras, literature has served as both a mirror to the world and a means of shaping it. However, one cannot ignore an unsettling reality: much of this literary legacy is inherently biased, shaped by the perspectives of the privileged—and overwhelmingly male—authors who controlled the narrative. This skewed lens has influenced how we understand history, culture, religion, and society, resulting in a perspective that is, at best, incomplete and, at worst, deeply exclusionary and unisex.

Literature Through the Prism of Privilege

A significant portion of historical literature comes from the pens of privileged individuals. These were often the educated elites with the leisure and resources to engage in literary pursuits. Consequently, the narratives and themes they explored tended to reflect their own experiences, concerns, and biases. The lives of underprivileged or marginalized communities, when depicted, were filtered through the lens of these privileged storytellers. There is no way to verify the authenticity of these depictions as there is no representation of underprivileged authors in the literature that survives various transitions of human history.

For instance, in many ancient civilizations, the voices of the working class, enslaved individuals, or women were seldom recorded firsthand. Their experiences were either ignored or romanticized, often reduced to stereotypes or supporting roles in stories centered on the lives of kings, warriors, and noblemen. This dynamic perpetuated a cycle in which the struggles, joys, and perspectives of the underprivileged were either misrepresented or erased from the broader narrative. Take any book or even epics like Ramayan, Mahabharat, or Eliad, they all are written by the elites and for the elites. Of course, over time the entire society adopted these epics as their own story as there was no other alternative. When the discourse is heavily dominated by voices from certain sections one tends to believe that only those voices are relevant. 

Even in more recent times, this pattern persists. Consider colonial literature, where indigenous cultures were often depicted through the lens of the colonizers. The historical accounts of the freedom struggle of India are also depicted through the lens of colonizers or the privileged class that either colluded or occasionally resisted colonizers to protect their own interests. These portrayals were laden with biases, reinforcing notions of cultural superiority, justifying the exploitation of the colonized, and dehumanizing or marginalizing underprivileged voices. The accounts of contributions from non-elite classes were either absent or consistently downplayed. Such literature, while historically significant, reflects a deeply skewed understanding of the societies it sought to describe.

The Male-Dominated Narrative

Adding another layer of bias is the predominance of male perspectives in literature. For much of history, social structures have relegated women to secondary roles, both in life and in literature, especially for underprivileged women. The narratives that emerged from this male-dominated world naturally reflected their worldview, concerns, and values. As a result, literature—whether religious, cultural, or historical—became overwhelmingly unisex in its outlook, focusing solely on male experiences and aspirations.

Even portrayals of women in historical literature were often shaped by male authors. Women were depicted as muses, temptresses, or paragons of virtue, their identities crafted to serve the narrative needs of male protagonists. Many books, mythological stories, and even movies include various complex male characters with various shared, however, any of these mediums have rarely presented females as fully realized individuals with agency and depth comparable to their male characters.

Religious texts, which have profoundly shaped cultures and societies, are no exception. Most were authored by men and reflected patriarchal structures, often relegating women to submissive or supportive roles. These texts have been instrumental in perpetuating gender norms and have influenced the way societies view women and their contributions. These texts have so profound influence in various societies that even women view themselves through the lens inculcated in their minds by these stories. 

Social Media and Emergence of Diverse Voices

It is only in recent history that this dominant narrative has been meaningfully challenged. The rise of social media has offered a unique platform for diverse voices, particularly from women and other marginalized groups. This has begun to shift the literary landscape significantly. Various female content creators have brought new perspectives to literature, exploring themes of identity, empowerment, and the lived experiences of women. Social media with all its drawbacks has democratized the narrative and helped reduce the gender gap, no one can deny this effect of social media.  

Moreover, the growing focus on intersectionality has highlighted the importance of including voices that reflect the complexities of race, class, gender, and sexuality. Writers from underprivileged backgrounds are now sharing their stories, offering unfiltered perspectives that challenge the narratives crafted by the privileged few.  This shift is not just a matter of representation; it is a rebalancing of the literary canon. For most of human history, only one section and one gender of society occupied the stage and now by including diverse voices, we gain a fuller understanding of the human experience, one that acknowledges the richness and complexity of different perspectives. Today's literature is the most diverse and richer than at any point in human history. I know many elites won't agree with me on this, but this is a verifiable fact and social media is one of the major factors that made it possible.

Moving Toward a More Inclusive Literary Tradition

While progress has been made, much work remains to be done. The literary world still grapples with systemic inequalities, and many voices continue to be marginalized. Publishers, educators, and readers must actively seek out and support diverse perspectives, ensuring that literature reflects the breadth of human experience. To move beyond the unisex perspective, we must embrace stories that challenge our assumptions and expand our understanding. By doing so, we honor the richness of humanity and create a literary tradition that is truly inclusive and representative of all voices.

In the end, literature is not just a reflection of society; it is a tool for shaping it. By addressing the biases inherent in our literary heritage, we can pave the way for a future where every story has the chance to be told, heard, and valued. I am lucky that I started writing the blog and could share my views and ideas on various platforms, I encourage my readers to share their stories also. You will be amazed to see how many people are like you and are interested in knowing your story. it is up to us to develop and be a part of a more inclusive and gender-balanced literary tradition. I am excited to be part of such a tradition, are you? 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

The Power of Relationships: Choosing Connections That Nurture Your Well-Being

Our relationships are more than just social interactions—they are profound connections that directly impact our mental, emotional, and even physical health. Each bond we form creates a unique social and emotional environment that affects our well-being. Strong, meaningful relationships are the cornerstone of a happy and fulfilling life. That’s why it’s so important to develop meaningful and strong relationships, but they don’t happen by accident. Building these connections requires time, effort, and a mutual commitment from both sides.

A thriving relationship is a two-way street. It flourishes when both parties invest sincerely, showing mutual respect and care. This process involves:

• Quality Time: Relationships grow stronger when we prioritize meaningful interactions, this can be done through heartfelt conversations or shared experiences.
• Sincere Effort: A genuine desire to understand and support one another is vital.
• Encouragement and Reciprocity: Positive feedback and acknowledgment from the other side keep the connection alive and meaningful

When these elements are present, relationships become sources of joy, comfort, and strength. But when one side stops reciprocating, even the most well-intentioned efforts can feel futile.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a relationship may not flourish. If your commitment and sincerity are met with indifference and dismissiveness, the connection may begin to feel mechanical and burdensome. Such relationships might endure due to societal pressures or personal obligations, but they often fail to bring true fulfillment, they may survive but people involved in it don't thrive.

However, the hard truth is this: not all relationships are meant to last. If a connection becomes toxic—if it drains your energy, affects your mental health, or fails to reciprocate your efforts—it’s okay to step away. Walking away from a relationship you’ve invested in is never easy. It’s natural to feel a sense of loss or even guilt. However, prioritizing your well-being is not selfish—it’s essential.

Here’s why choosing yourself matters:

• Protecting Your Peace: Toxic relationships can disrupt your mental and emotional balance. Stepping away helps restore your sense of peace.
• Making Space for Healthy Connections: Letting go of draining relationships opens the door for new, uplifting ones.
• Honoring Your Worth: You deserve relationships that value and support you.

Strong, positive relationships nurture your mind and enhance your overall well-being. As you navigate your connections, remember: that it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s okay to expect reciprocity. And it’s okay to walk away when a relationship no longer serves you. Your happiness, peace, and sanity are worth the effort it takes to protect them. Choose relationships that uplift and inspire you, and never hesitate to let go of those that hold you back. Remember, choosing yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary. Your happiness and peace matter.

You deserve to be surrounded by love, support, and positivity. Choose wisely, and never forget that your well-being comes first.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

The Purpose of Liberal Ideals

I consider myself a socially liberal person. I was born and raised in a very conservative family and society. Concepts like gender equality, feminism, racism, casteism, equity, and social justice were alien to me while growing up. Liberal values entered very late in my life but when they entered they provided a solid backbone to fight against many social evils, such as gender discrimination, casteism, and racism, that were and still are prevalent in our society. The enduring relevance of liberalism does not just lie in winning elections and forming governments to reform societies towards more secular and inclusive values but it lies in its ability to create pressure whether directly, through electoral victories, or indirectly, by forcing opponents to temper their agendas. In this context, liberalism serves its purpose, regardless of immediate political outcomes. The real purpose of liberal ideas is to perform the balancing act, where any extremism is tamed due to the mere presence of a watchdog who threatens to take back the power if the situation gets worse. Liberalism needs to be a persistent force of progress irrespective of who is in power. 

As conservatives craft narratives that excite and energize their voter base, liberals remain the unseen hand guiding societal balance. Their role is less about immediate dominance and more about ensuring the long-term sustainability of democratic ideals. This is how liberalism always worked. The entire world was dominated by narrow and conservative ideas that perpetuated discrimination and hate. Under the name of preserving culture, religion, and supremacy so many people were killed or suppressed. Even then, there were people who dared to propagate liberal values and this is the reason social evils like slavery were eradicated and other evils like racism and gender discrimination have been tamed to a considerable extent. 

Moving forward, if liberals want to remain as a viable political option their challenges in the current political climate are clear. First, they need to rebuild the trust. Liberals must reconnect with their base, understanding and addressing the evolving needs of diverse groups is critical for them. One of the most pressing tasks for liberals is to rebuild trust with their diverse voter base. Over time, relying on socially and economically suppressed classes as a core constituency has proven insufficient. Why? Because the social and economic needs of every group evolve. Liberal parties must recognize that no single group can serve as a permanent foundation. A broad coalition built on mutual trust and inclusivity is vital. They must address criticism of perceived elitism or disconnection by demonstrating authenticity and commitment to all sections of society. Second, they need to energize the participation of people who subscribe to social liberal values. Mobilizing voters who align with liberal values is a significant hurdle for liberals, and they struggle a lot in this, especially in the emotionally charged and polarizing electoral atmosphere. Many voters feel detached from electoral stakes for liberals, and their participation often lags behind that of conservatives. Finding ways to mobilize their core constituency, not just online but on the ground and during the elections, especially those who feel detached from electoral stakes is crucial, they must strengthen on-the-ground efforts to reach voters where they are. Creating compelling narratives that make people feel their vote truly matters by connecting political outcomes to their day-to-day lives is crucial. Third, they need to upgrade their communication with electoral voters. In an era dominated by social media and an overwhelming flow of information, liberals must craft their messaging to resonate in a rapidly changing landscape. Simply relying on their reputation as the "good guys" is no longer enough. They must speak to people’s immediate concerns in clear, relatable terms. Abstract ideals or overly intellectual arguments may alienate some voters. They need to utilize social media strategically and understand the platforms where voters spend their time and adapt messaging to suit each medium. Visual storytelling, short videos, and concise messages often outperform traditional approaches. Finally, while adapting to contemporary concerns, liberals must not compromise on their foundational values of inclusion, equality, and justice. 

Liberal parties can no longer assume that voters will align with them purely because of their ideals. They must work hard to earn every vote by demonstrating the tangible impact of their policies and by staying closely connected to their constituencies. This is not just a political challenge but an opportunity for reinvention. By rebuilding trust, energizing participation, and modernizing their messaging, liberals can carve out a new path that not only sustains their relevance but also positions them as a robust and compelling alternative in the global political arena. The political climate is dynamic, and with the right strategies, liberals can regain their electoral footing. No doubt, the work will be difficult and demanding, but it is essential - not just for the survival of truly liberal parties but for the health of democratic systems worldwide. The real purpose of liberal values is to protect democratic principles such as equality, equity, and inclusion and fight against social evils such as gender discrimination, racism, majoritarianism, and communal hate.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Happy New Year

Welcome to 2025. Another year has dawned, bringing with it the promise of new beginnings and fresh opportunities. We experience many moments of joy and sorrow in any given year. Like every other year, 2024 was filled with moments of joy and sorrow, highs and lows, and experiences that shaped us in countless ways. For some, milestones like graduation, marriage, childbirth, or the loss of a loved one defined the year. For others, it was a quieter journey marked by personal victories and challenges.

As we step into 2025, many of us may be looking for New Year’s resolutions—some routine, some ambitious. Whether your goals involve fitness, career growth, or mastering a new skill, I have one suggestion to add to your list: be kind—to yourself and to others. In a world that often feels divided and polarized, kindness is not just an act of goodwill; it’s a necessity. The pervasive negativity and divisiveness in our public discourse, fueled by selfish leaders and sensationalism, have left many searching for enemies in others to blame for all their problems. This mindset is neither healthy nor sustainable. Kindness, on the other hand, has the power to heal people and societies. It helps build strong and reliable connections with those around us. It fosters compassion and inclusiveness, qualities that can transform not only our personal relationships but also the broader society.

Imagine a world where we truly listened to one another, where we sought understanding instead of conflict. What if, instead of focusing on our differences, we celebrated our commonalities? What if, instead of focusing on our disagreements, we move forward on points where we agree? The choice is ours: we can dwell on what divides us, or we can embrace what unites us. Like all good deeds, kindness also begins at home—with yourself and with our families. Too often, we are our own harshest critics. We set impossible standards and berate ourselves for falling short. This year, resolve to offer yourself the same grace you would extend to a dear friend. When you are kind to yourself, you build a foundation for greater resilience and empathy. You become better equipped to show up for others with patience and understanding.

When kindness becomes a guiding principle, its ripple effects can be profound. It can restore civility to public discourse that has grown increasingly toxic. It can mend relationships and bridge divides. And it can remind us that we are stronger together than apart. Kindness doesn't stop us from disagreeing with others or standing up for ourselves, it just provides a different way of doing these things. Kindness is not just a personal virtue; it’s a societal imperative. A nation that moves forward with compassion and inclusiveness is one that thrives.

This year, let’s make kindness our collective resolution. Let’s commit to being more patient, more understanding, and more gracious—with ourselves and with others. Let’s choose connection over division, understanding over blaming, and love over hate. As 2025 unfolds, may we remember that the power to create a better world lies in the choices we make every day. Together, let’s build a future where kindness and compassion are the norm, not the exception.

Happy New Year! Here’s to a year filled with love, understanding, and meaningful connections!