Am I still a Hindu?

When people ask me which religion I follow, my answer is simple: I don't follow any particular religion. I take whatever good I find from any religion or any other source and try to practice those things. Relevance and rationality matter more to me than the source. If something resonates, I adopt it—whether it comes from a book (any so-called holy book or countless other amazing books published every day), a conversation, or even a quote on a wall. What matters is the principle and the impact it has on my life, not where it originated.

But for some people, that’s hard to accept. They say, “You must follow something—you don't seem like an atheist.” And they’re right, I’m not an atheist, at least as in popular culture. But I also don't subscribe to any formal religion. I understand it doesn't fit neatly into the usual boxes, but not everything has to. Life doesn’t always align with conventional definitions and stereotypes.

Yes, I was born into a Hindu family and practiced Hinduism for the first 25 years of my life. Back then, if I had to align myself with any religion, it would’ve been Hinduism. Why? Possibly because I was born into it and was brainwashed to believe that it was the best, but also because, at least in theory, Hinduism allowed space for multiple viewpoints—even for atheists and skeptics. Philosophical schools like Charvaka once thrived within its umbrella. That kind of tolerance felt unique. Even though the reality is that none of the original works of people like Charvaka survived, and their teachings are not part of any mainstream Hindu philosophy. 

Historically, Hinduism didn’t have a single founder, a definitive holy book, or rigid rituals that applied across the board. There were countless gods, a variety of practices, and no universal rulebook. That lack of structure once gave it a flexibility not seen in many other organized religions. It was like a cultural and spiritual marketplace where people could pick what suited them. This diversity could be a strength—or a weakness—depending on how you look at it. However, things have changed over time. Hinduism today feels far more structured, dogmatic, and rigid. Rituals are standardized, identities are more politicized, and dissent is often silenced. There's an increasing emphasis on creating conversion-like rituals and defining who qualifies as a "real Hindu." And while some celebrate its ancient openness to debate, that spirit seems to be fading in practice. Also, what cannot be ignored is the fact that casteism and the varna system—deeply discriminatory constructs on their own—are still very much a part of practiced Hinduism. No matter how often people deny or justify them, their presence in the lived reality of millions is undeniable. These are not fringe issues—they are central to the way the religion functions socially, even today. Dr. Ambedkar has written extensively about this, and this was the main reason why he left Hinduism. 

I no longer feel I belong to this version of Hinduism. My departure from religion wasn’t out of rebellion, but out of conscious reflection. It was a gradual process resulting from countless incidents of discrimination, suppression, and religious violence around me. I know that some fanatic supporters of some religion might argue that their religion only teaches peace and love and is the most tolerant religion, but the amount and scale of violence practiced in the name of religion is astounding, and any religion, including Hinduism, is no exception to this. Therefore, I realized that I don't need a label, a scripture, or a divine figure to practice kindness, empathy, or compassion. I don’t need a ritual to validate my moral compass. I’d rather be a good human than a good follower of any religion.

Does that mean I reject religion entirely, the way most atheists do? Not at all. I still find wisdom in religious teachings across traditions, and believe that even today, many people need religion for their personal needs. I respect some aspects of all religions, and I question all of them equally. I approach them with open-minded curiosity rather than blind faith or allegiance. Nothing dominates my thinking, and my door is always open to ideas that uplift and empower, regardless of their source. The truth is, the space outside of organized religion is expanding. More and more people identify as nonreligious, spiritual-but-not-religious, or simply humanist. Religions are adapting in response, trying to become more inclusive and accommodating. That’s a good thing. It reflects a growing recognition that rigid structures don’t work for everyone.

Religion is deeply human; it's one of the oldest human inventions. God, divinity, spirituality, all are human inventions invented to satisfy different aspects of human curiosity. They try to fulfil psychological and emotional needs, and are not going away anytime soon. But not everyone needs to subscribe to these ideas to live a meaningful, ethical life.

So, am I still Hindu? In the cultural sense, maybe. But ritually and philosophically, I’ve moved on. I am a nonreligious person who believes in humanity and love. I’ve found more freedom, more perspective, and more responsibility outside the walls of any one religion. I see clearer now, without the blinkers of exclusivity. I may not belong to a religion anymore. But I belong more fully to myself, to reason, to compassion—and that feels like the right path for me.

Thank you for reading, and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved. Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Aging Can be Cool

Aging is a natural process for every living being. This is the name given to our natural progression from birth to death. It is an unavoidable and natural progression of life, humans have always been comfortable with aging, and age in itself has been a widely respected attribute in many cultures across the world. However, Somewhere along the way, we started treating aging like a problem to be solved rather than a journey to be embraced. Wrinkles became something to hide. Grey hair became something to cover. And the word old—once associated with wisdom, experience, and grace—became a synonym for "uncool," "irrelevant," or "unattractive." 

The stigma around aging is louder than ever in today's social media era. People do so many things to hide their age or specifically "not to look old." Entire industries thrive on our collective fear of growing and looking old. What was once targeted at people in their 40s or 50s is now aimed at those as young as 24. We are instilling fear of aging at a very young age. “Start fighting age before it even shows.” This isn’t just marketing - it’s mental conditioning and fear-mongering. We’re teaching people in their twenties to be afraid of looking thirty.

What makes it worse is our casual language. The way we casually use the terms "young" to mean "cool" or "beautiful" and "old"  to mean "dated" or "ugly" creates a perception that being old means uncool and something to be scared of. We say things like “She looks so young for her age!” as a compliment or use “old” as shorthand for boring, outdated, or unattractive. When “young” means cool, beautiful, or worthy, then what does that make “old”? The message sinks in, often unnoticed but deeply felt: growing older means losing value.

This has resulted in people spending considerable portions of their income just on their looks, especially, to look younger than their age as they feel that natural looks for their age are not socially acceptable anymore. And it’s not an equal-opportunity issue. Women, in particular, bear the brunt of this burden. They face more rigid beauty standards, more scrutiny, and more pressure to look forever youthful. Body shaming disproportionately affects women - at work, in relationships, and in society at large. Often, it's not just society doing the shaming, it’s other women, too. The internalized pressure is that strong.

But here’s the truth: aging is not a flaw—it’s a privilege.

People often forget that not everyone gets to grow old. Aging means you’ve lived your life. You’ve endured and survived. You’ve learned and grown. Each wrinkle tells a story. Each grey hair is a milestone. Strength doesn’t only belong to the young, there’s a different kind of strength that grows with age: emotional depth, self-awareness, resilience, perspective, and wisdom. So, how do we change the narrative?

Let's start by changing the connotation of the word old. Being old shouldn’t mean being less than your younger version, it shouldn't mean being uncool, dated, or weak. It should mean being more than your younger self - more experienced, more layered, more compassionate, more poised, more nuances, more human. We need to stop praising people for “not looking their age” as though looking your age is something shameful. Let’s normalize aging faces, celebrate changing bodies, and value character over cosmetic perfection.

Aging isn’t something to battle or run away from. It’s something to live, experience, and celebrate. And honestly, aging can be cool. We can make it cool - by honoring the people who’ve walked longer roads, by rejecting toxic beauty ideals, and by proudly becoming those people ourselves. Because if we’re lucky, we’ll all get old someday. Everyone wants to live long, so why fear age? Why not make it something worth looking forward to?

Thank you for reading, and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved. Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Our EGO: Friend, Foe or Something In-between?

The word "Ego" has garnered a lot of negative baggage over time. It’s often used to describe someone arrogant, overconfident, or condescending. In everyday language, having an ego is seen as a flaw - a serious personality defect that must be corrected or diminished. However, in reality, we all have an ego. It is an essential part of our psychological makeup, a core element of what makes us human, the ego isn’t inherently good or bad. It simply is. It plays a pivotal role in shaping our sense of self, qualities like self-respect, resilience, and confidence, originate from our ego. These qualities, so vital to our personal and professional lives, originate from a healthy ego and, in turn, nurture it. No one is free from the ego and we cannot get rid of our ego. The only difference lies in how we acknowledge it and work with it.  

Our ego is like our shadow, always present, even if not always visible. Just as a shadow shifts with the light, the ego shifts with our experiences, our emotions, and our environments. Sometimes it’s right in front of us, casting a long and unmistakable presence. Other times it fades into the background, quietly guiding our decisions and reactions. And just like our shadow, while we might not always see our own ego clearly, others often do see and feel it. Recognizing this shadow doesn’t mean we need to get rid of it. In fact, we can’t. The real challenge and opportunity lie in learning how to live with it, work with it, and even grow with it.

There are certain benefits of a healthy ego. A balanced ego serves us in countless ways. It helps us to build self-respect by establishing boundaries, advocating for ourselves, and demanding fair treatment. It gives us the courage and confidence to take risks, express our ideas, and pursue our goals. It supports us in bouncing back from setbacks, defending our worth, and continuing forward with determination thereby instilling resilience. Our ego contributes to our sense of individuality and purpose, helping us define who we are thereby building our unique identity. When nurtured mindfully, the ego becomes a reliable companion - quietly fueling our growth and helping us stand tall without stepping on others.

Of course, there are certain downsides to having an inflated ego or not having an ego at all. Having a healthy balance is key. An unchecked or inflated ego can be destructive. When ego swells beyond self-confidence, it can breed superiority and insensitivity resulting in arrogance. An oversized ego often resists feedback and fears vulnerability, limiting growth and connection. Remember, there is a very thin line between being arrogant and rigid and being confident, and people often forget this. Ego-driven pride can push others away and hinder collaboration, resulting in isolation, especially when you fail or going through tough times. Also, the complete absence of ego can be equally problematic. Without ego, we may struggle with asserting ourselves or recognizing our value resulting in the feeling of low self-worth. A diminished ego can make us insecure and overly reliant on external validation. The ego helps define identity and purpose; without it, we may feel lost or aimless. Therefore, finding the middle path is the key.

Rather than demonizing or denying the ego, we can aim to understand it and work with it. Self-awareness is the key. Recognize when your ego is helping you rise and when it might be getting in the way. Be assertive but not aggressive, understand that being polite doesn't mean being weak. Practice humility, not by diminishing yourself, but by knowing your worth without needing to prove it constantly. Ultimately, our relationship with the ego is lifelong. It's not about defeating it but learning to listen to it, challenge it, and sometimes even thank it.

Thank you for reading, and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved. Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Democratic Dictatorship: A New Kind of Dictatorship

It is said that democracy is a flawed concept, and it is true, it isn't perfect. It’s messy, slow, and full of disagreements - and that’s kind of the point. It’s supposed to be a system where everyone gets a say, where power is shared, and where people can hold their leaders accountable. Despite its flaws, democracy is still the best system we’ve come up with. That’s why most countries are proud to call themselves democratic. 

However, in reality, flawed democracy is further flawed by the elected representatives all over the world. More and more governments around the world are calling themselves democracies while acting more like dictatorships. In some places it is flawed to such an extent that many countries are now functioning like democratic dictatorships, that is, the governments are elected by some democratic process but once in power, they behave as if they can’t be questioned. They silence critics, weaken important institutions, and create a climate of fear. It’s not a full-blown dictatorship in the traditional sense - but it’s close. Welcome to the era of the democratic dictatorship.

In a real democracy, people should be able to speak out without fear. Protesting, writing, tweeting, organizing - these are basic rights. But in many places, speaking out has become dangerous. For example, take Russia. It holds elections, but opposition leaders are jailed or exiled. Alexei Navalny, one of President Putin’s most vocal critics, was imprisoned and later died in custody under suspicious circumstances. That’s not democracy - that’s intimidation. Even in countries that are known for being democratic, this trend is growing. In India, critics of the government - including journalists, students, and activists - have been arrested or harassed using vague laws meant for terrorism or sedition. Peaceful protests are often labeled as “anti-national.” And in the United States, while the democratic system is still strong, it hasn’t been immune. The attack on the Capitol on January 6, 2021, and the efforts to undermine trust in elections showed how fragile democracy can be. When leaders push misinformation and propaganda and treat dissent like betrayal, the foundations of democracy begin to crack.

A working democracy needs independent institutions: courts that can say “no” to the government and protect the oppressed, election commissions that play fair, and media that can investigate and criticize governments fearlessly. But in many countries, these institutions are being intimidated, cornered, taken over, or hollowed out. Sometimes, it’s not even about throwing people in jail - it’s about making them scared to speak up. Journalists face lawsuits, online abuse, or sudden tax investigations. Comedians and other artists face boycotts and their shows are canceled due to fear of retaliation by the government or government-backed organizations. Activists are watched. Regular citizens are afraid of posting political opinions online. This fear doesn’t look like the dictatorships of the past, but it’s just as effective at keeping people silent. Elections still happen in these places. But by the time people go to vote, the opposition has been weakened, the media is one-sided, and many voters don’t feel like they have a real choice. It’s democracy in name only.

What’s scary is how normal all of this is starting to feel. Because these governments still hold elections and fly the flag of democracy, people assume everything is fine. There are many who support these regimes as they feel it suits their agenda and this is not as bad as dictatorship or genocide. But a system where people are scared to speak, where institutions are controlled, and where criticism is punished — that’s not a real democracy. That’s a democratic dictatorship. Also, this isn’t a “left vs. right” issue. Authoritarian behavior can come from any political direction and there are ample examples to demonstrate this. Political ideology, party, or leader doesn't really matter, what matters is whether a government respects the rules of democracy - not just during elections, but every day. What matters is how the government treats dissent, how it protects the rights of all minorities, how independent are institutions, including all academic institutions, and how fearless are people who disagree with the government. Without fearless dissent, there is no democracy.

Also, democracy doesn’t protect itself. It needs us - the people - to keep it alive. That means staying well informed from different reliable sources without being siloed. Paying attention to how our leaders behave, not just what they say, especially for who we vote for. Speaking up when something feels wrong, not only against our political or ideological opponents but also against people who we support. Supporting free media, independent courts, and strong public institutions. And yes - voting in every election. The biggest threat to democracy today isn’t a sudden coup or a violent takeover, it’s a slow erosion of personal rights by the governments with the open support of some economically powerful people using a very potent tool, social media. It’s the idea that as long as we vote, everything’s fine - even when freedoms are disappearing and fear is spreading. A true democracy is more than just elections and voting. It’s about accountability, fairness, and the freedom to disagree without being fearful of retaliation by the government. And if we’re not careful, we could lose it without even realizing it.

Thank you for reading, and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved. Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com  

Bridging Differences: Our Journey of Love and Acceptance in a Polarized World

Every couple has their own story—a journey that takes them from acquaintances to lovers, through the joys and struggles of building a family, and ultimately towards a deeper understanding of each other including the similarities and deep differences. Reena and I are no different, we have been on an amazing journey for the last 27 years. One of the most significant aspects of this journey is our journey on the path of acceptance. Many couples share common ground in aspects like religion, culture, nationality, and personal and political beliefs, making their journey of togetherness relatively smoother. But for some, like Reena and me, our differences far outweigh our similarities. And yet, despite these differences, we have built a relationship grounded in love, mutual respect, and unwavering support for each other. Our journey is one of acceptance, a story that holds particular relevance in today's increasingly polarized society.

There are countless ways in which Reena and I are different. To begin with, ours was an arranged marriage—we hardly knew each other before deciding to embark on this lifelong partnership. Our first meeting took place in her family home, under the watchful eyes of relatives, in a setting that left little room for deep, personal connection. Yet, despite the absence of a traditional courtship, we built a bond that grew stronger over time. Our differences, rather than dividing us, became opportunities for growth and understanding. Our differences helped both of us to understand each other more than our similarities.

One of the most fundamental disparities between us lies in our views on religion. Over time, I moved away from religious beliefs and practices, while Reena remained steadfast in her faith. It is not uncommon for interfaith couples to navigate such differences, but in our case, it was not a matter of different faiths—it was the coexistence of faith and skepticism under one roof. While I have little interest in rituals and customs, Reena finds solace in them. While I have no respect for customs that I believe are deeply patriarchal and misogynistic, Reena finds peace and happiness in some of them. Over the years, rather than allowing these differences to create irreconcilable rifts, we have learned to accommodate each other’s perspectives. She has made me more tolerant of certain aspects of religion, and I have helped her recognize the historical and systemic issues within religious institutions, particularly in relation to patriarchy and gender inequality.

I highlight this aspect of our relationship because religious and ideological differences are becoming flashpoints of division in our world today. Hate-based politics is thriving, with leaders deliberately stoking fear and resentment to gain power. People are increasingly retreating into ideological camps, unwilling to engage with those who think differently. This polarization is not limited to religion—it extends to politics, social issues, and even personal values. It is disheartening to witness how societies that have made incredible advancements in knowledge and understanding are regressing into division and hostility. It is sad to see that rather than working towards a common goal people are trying to score brownie points over each other. It is sad to see that rather than accepting our differences and moving on with our similarities, people are more interested in vilifying each other and playing the blame game. 

However, acceptance does not mean blind agreement or passive tolerance. True acceptance lies in acknowledging our differences while recognizing the necessity of working together. It means allowing space for disagreement, engaging in meaningful dialogue, and striving to understand opposing viewpoints rather than dismissing them outright. It means choosing to coexist and build something greater, despite unresolved differences. Reena and I did not arrive at this understanding through a single, profound revelation. There was no grand epiphany—just a series of everyday moments where we chose to support rather than resist, to listen rather than argue to prove each other wrong and to love rather than alienate. If we, as individuals with starkly different beliefs and outlooks, can create a life together rooted in compassion, then surely society at large can do the same.

I hope our journey serves as a reminder that differences will always exist, but they should never overshadow our shared humanity. In a world where division is increasingly the norm, choosing acceptance and cooperation is not just an act of love—it is an act of defiance against the forces that seek to divide us. Let us all strive to build something beautiful together, filled with understanding, love, compassion, and yes, our differences. Our differences will stay but so should our love, understanding, and compassion.

Thank you for reading and please share your views about your journey of acceptance. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Why resistance, no matter how small, matters

 
This powerful image of a man refusing to give the Nazi salute is well-known to most people, it serves as a timeless reminder of the courage it takes to stand against oppression, even when surrounded by conformity. It’s easy to assume that resistance is impossible when the majority either supports or silently accepts injustice, but this man proves that even a single symbolic act of defiance can be profoundly significant. His refusal to comply speaks to the importance of standing by our values, especially when minorities and vulnerable communities are under attack. Showing your support in whatever form you can to vulnerable, people or groups that cannot defend themselves matters. Silence and passive acceptance allow oppression to thrive, but resistance—no matter how small—can inspire others to question, challenge, and ultimately dismantle unjust systems.

I always wonder, in a crowd of people all performing the Nazi salute—whether out of fear, obedience, or genuine support—why only this man alone had the desire and courage to resist. He was not the only person who may have noticed bad things happening around and harbored doubts about the regime or disagreed with its actions, yet he was the only one who acted on those convictions in that moment. Why?

Fear often keeps people silent. Many in that crowd likely understood that failing to conform could lead to severe personal consequences—loss of livelihood, imprisonment, or even death. Some may have convinced themselves that one act of disobedience would change nothing, so why risk it? Others may have gradually accepted the ideology over time, or at least justified their compliance as a necessity for survival. Some may have thought that they are not the ones doing any of the bad stuff, so, they are not responsible for whatever bad is happening to anyone around them. But this man—standing in a sea of raised arms—refused. He understood the cost and defied the pressure to conform. He took the risk. He looked in a direction that others ignored. Perhaps he believed that even a small act of defiance mattered. Perhaps he could not, in good conscience, participate in a display of allegiance to a regime built on hate and persecution. Whatever his reasons, his choice is a reminder that courage is not always loud or grand; sometimes, it is as simple as standing still when the rest of the world moves in the wrong direction.

His act resonates because it asks us a difficult question: In the face of oppression, will we choose the safety of silence, or will we have the courage to stand alone if necessary? May we find the courage to refuse to salute when faced with oppression. May we stand up for those whose voices are silenced. And may we never forget that one act of defiance, no matter how small, can echo through history.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Celebrating 13 Years of Thoughtful Conversations

Today marks the 13th anniversary of this blog. It is truly incredible to think that for 13 uninterrupted years, this platform has been a space for sharing thoughts, initiating discussions, and engaging in meaningful dialogue. Over the years, I have written more than 600 posts on various topics, and the love and admiration from readers have been overwhelming. I am deeply humbled by the support and encouragement that I have received from all of you.

When I started this blog, my goal was simple: to share my thoughts and spark conversations. Looking back, I feel that this blog has achieved that purpose. Through these discussions, I have engaged with friends, readers, and even my family members on topics that matter. Not everyone agrees with me, but that is precisely the beauty of open dialogue. The goal of discussion is not always to convince others of your views but to understand theirs—their thoughts, ideas, and the origins of their perspectives.

By understanding one another, we can appreciate our similarities and work on our differences. In today’s polarized world, open and candid discussions are more important than ever. Conversations, rather than conflicts, help to diffuse tensions and guide us toward collective progress. We must recognize that our shared humanity is far more significant than our divisions, and through understanding, we can work towards a common good rather than seeking enemies to blame for our problems.

Thank you for being a part of this journey, for engaging, sharing, and supporting this blog over the years. Here’s to many more years of thoughtful discussions and mutual understanding. Happy reading, and thank you for your unwavering love and support!

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Breaking the Silence: Why Couples Should Talk About Sex

Sex is still a taboo topic in many societies, and India and the US are no exceptions. Even today, especially in Indian or Indian origin households, many parents scramble to change the channel if a kissing scene appears on screen while their children—sometimes even teenagers—are around. The discomfort around discussing sex is so ingrained that even couples in long-term relationships struggle to bring it up. But why? Why do couples freely discuss politics, finances, entertainment, and sports but hesitate when it comes to sex—something that is fundamental to our relationships and overall well-being?

The Paradox of Silence

People openly discuss matters that are important to them. Political enthusiasts engage in heated debates, movie buffs dissect the latest releases, and financial planners talk endlessly about investments and savings. However, sex—despite being a crucial part of romantic relationships—remains largely unspoken. Even though most couples agree that physical intimacy is vital to their happiness and connection, they avoid conversations about their desires, needs, and concerns.

This paradox exists because of deep-rooted cultural conditioning. Many societies, especially conservative ones, have long portrayed sex as something private, shameful, or even sinful. This messaging leads to guilt, embarrassment, and the mistaken belief that talking about sex somehow diminishes its sanctity. But most of us fail to understand that this silence can be more damaging.

Why Talking About Sex Matters

1. Strengthens Emotional Connection – Open discussions about sex foster trust, intimacy, and emotional closeness among couples. When couples can talk about their desires, boundaries, and needs without fear of judgment, they build a deeper bond.

2. Prevents Misunderstandings and Frustration – Many relationships suffer because of unmet expectations or dissatisfaction in the bedroom. Couples recognize that there is a problem but they shy away from even acknowledging it. Talking openly about what you enjoy, what you don’t, and what you’d like to explore ensures that both partners feel fulfilled and valued.

3. Encourages a Healthy and Satisfying Sex Life – A fulfilling sex life is linked to overall relationship satisfaction. Couples who communicate about sex tend to have better intimacy, which in turn strengthens their partnership in other aspects of life.

4. Reduces Anxiety and Insecurity – Silence breeds insecurity and frustration. When one partner hesitates to express their needs or concerns, it can lead to feelings of rejection or inadequacy. It can send misleading signals that can be easily avoided. Open conversations eliminate doubt and create a safe space for honesty.

5. Enhances Problem-Solving – Just like any other aspect of a relationship, sexual challenges can arise. Whether it’s a difference in libido, medical issues, or emotional roadblocks, discussing them together leads to constructive solutions rather than bottled-up resentment. Sex-related medical issues are like any other medical issue. We are getting better with mental health-related issues but are still lagging behind with sex health-related issues. 

How to Start the Conversation

For many, bringing up sex in conversation feels daunting. Here are some ways to ease into it:

• Choose the Right Moment – Avoid discussing sensitive topics during arguments or stressful situations. Instead, find a relaxed and comfortable setting.

• Be Honest but Gentle – Express your thoughts and desires openly but in a way that is considerate of your partner’s feelings. Remember, being honest doesn't mean being abrasive and hurtful, one can be gentle and still be honest.

• Use Media as a Conversation Starter – If watching a movie or reading an article or social media post about relationships, use it as a jumping-off point to start the conversation.

• Normalize the Discussion – The more you talk about it, the easier it becomes. Normalize discussing intimacy just as you would any other important relationship matter. If there is no shame in engaging in a sexual act as a couple, then there must not be any shame in discussing this topic.

Sex is not just a physical act—it is a crucial part of a romantic relationship that fosters love, intimacy, and connection. If couples can talk about their finances, careers, and hobbies, they should also feel comfortable discussing their sexual needs and desires. Breaking the silence on this topic will lead to stronger, healthier relationships built on trust, understanding, and mutual satisfaction. If your relationship matters to you, then all aspects related to it should also matter. As couples, it’s time to talk openly about sex, without shame or hesitation—because a fulfilling relationship deserves nothing less.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Privileged and Unisex Historical Perspectives

Human history is rich with literature from diverse cultures and societies. Across eras, literature has served as both a mirror to the world and a means of shaping it. However, one cannot ignore an unsettling reality: much of this literary legacy is inherently biased, shaped by the perspectives of the privileged—and overwhelmingly male—authors who controlled the narrative. This skewed lens has influenced how we understand history, culture, religion, and society, resulting in a perspective that is, at best, incomplete and, at worst, deeply exclusionary and unisex.

Literature Through the Prism of Privilege

A significant portion of historical literature comes from the pens of privileged individuals. These were often the educated elites with the leisure and resources to engage in literary pursuits. Consequently, the narratives and themes they explored tended to reflect their own experiences, concerns, and biases. The lives of underprivileged or marginalized communities, when depicted, were filtered through the lens of these privileged storytellers. There is no way to verify the authenticity of these depictions as there is no representation of underprivileged authors in the literature that survives various transitions of human history.

For instance, in many ancient civilizations, the voices of the working class, enslaved individuals, or women were seldom recorded firsthand. Their experiences were either ignored or romanticized, often reduced to stereotypes or supporting roles in stories centered on the lives of kings, warriors, and noblemen. This dynamic perpetuated a cycle in which the struggles, joys, and perspectives of the underprivileged were either misrepresented or erased from the broader narrative. Take any book or even epics like Ramayan, Mahabharat, or Eliad, they all are written by the elites and for the elites. Of course, over time the entire society adopted these epics as their own story as there was no other alternative. When the discourse is heavily dominated by voices from certain sections one tends to believe that only those voices are relevant. 

Even in more recent times, this pattern persists. Consider colonial literature, where indigenous cultures were often depicted through the lens of the colonizers. The historical accounts of the freedom struggle of India are also depicted through the lens of colonizers or the privileged class that either colluded or occasionally resisted colonizers to protect their own interests. These portrayals were laden with biases, reinforcing notions of cultural superiority, justifying the exploitation of the colonized, and dehumanizing or marginalizing underprivileged voices. The accounts of contributions from non-elite classes were either absent or consistently downplayed. Such literature, while historically significant, reflects a deeply skewed understanding of the societies it sought to describe.

The Male-Dominated Narrative

Adding another layer of bias is the predominance of male perspectives in literature. For much of history, social structures have relegated women to secondary roles, both in life and in literature, especially for underprivileged women. The narratives that emerged from this male-dominated world naturally reflected their worldview, concerns, and values. As a result, literature—whether religious, cultural, or historical—became overwhelmingly unisex in its outlook, focusing solely on male experiences and aspirations.

Even portrayals of women in historical literature were often shaped by male authors. Women were depicted as muses, temptresses, or paragons of virtue, their identities crafted to serve the narrative needs of male protagonists. Many books, mythological stories, and even movies include various complex male characters with various shared, however, any of these mediums have rarely presented females as fully realized individuals with agency and depth comparable to their male characters.

Religious texts, which have profoundly shaped cultures and societies, are no exception. Most were authored by men and reflected patriarchal structures, often relegating women to submissive or supportive roles. These texts have been instrumental in perpetuating gender norms and have influenced the way societies view women and their contributions. These texts have so profound influence in various societies that even women view themselves through the lens inculcated in their minds by these stories. 

Social Media and Emergence of Diverse Voices

It is only in recent history that this dominant narrative has been meaningfully challenged. The rise of social media has offered a unique platform for diverse voices, particularly from women and other marginalized groups. This has begun to shift the literary landscape significantly. Various female content creators have brought new perspectives to literature, exploring themes of identity, empowerment, and the lived experiences of women. Social media with all its drawbacks has democratized the narrative and helped reduce the gender gap, no one can deny this effect of social media.  

Moreover, the growing focus on intersectionality has highlighted the importance of including voices that reflect the complexities of race, class, gender, and sexuality. Writers from underprivileged backgrounds are now sharing their stories, offering unfiltered perspectives that challenge the narratives crafted by the privileged few.  This shift is not just a matter of representation; it is a rebalancing of the literary canon. For most of human history, only one section and one gender of society occupied the stage and now by including diverse voices, we gain a fuller understanding of the human experience, one that acknowledges the richness and complexity of different perspectives. Today's literature is the most diverse and richer than at any point in human history. I know many elites won't agree with me on this, but this is a verifiable fact and social media is one of the major factors that made it possible.

Moving Toward a More Inclusive Literary Tradition

While progress has been made, much work remains to be done. The literary world still grapples with systemic inequalities, and many voices continue to be marginalized. Publishers, educators, and readers must actively seek out and support diverse perspectives, ensuring that literature reflects the breadth of human experience. To move beyond the unisex perspective, we must embrace stories that challenge our assumptions and expand our understanding. By doing so, we honor the richness of humanity and create a literary tradition that is truly inclusive and representative of all voices.

In the end, literature is not just a reflection of society; it is a tool for shaping it. By addressing the biases inherent in our literary heritage, we can pave the way for a future where every story has the chance to be told, heard, and valued. I am lucky that I started writing the blog and could share my views and ideas on various platforms, I encourage my readers to share their stories also. You will be amazed to see how many people are like you and are interested in knowing your story. it is up to us to develop and be a part of a more inclusive and gender-balanced literary tradition. I am excited to be part of such a tradition, are you? 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

The Power of Relationships: Choosing Connections That Nurture Your Well-Being

Our relationships are more than just social interactions—they are profound connections that directly impact our mental, emotional, and even physical health. Each bond we form creates a unique social and emotional environment that affects our well-being. Strong, meaningful relationships are the cornerstone of a happy and fulfilling life. That’s why it’s so important to develop meaningful and strong relationships, but they don’t happen by accident. Building these connections requires time, effort, and a mutual commitment from both sides.

A thriving relationship is a two-way street. It flourishes when both parties invest sincerely, showing mutual respect and care. This process involves:

• Quality Time: Relationships grow stronger when we prioritize meaningful interactions, this can be done through heartfelt conversations or shared experiences.
• Sincere Effort: A genuine desire to understand and support one another is vital.
• Encouragement and Reciprocity: Positive feedback and acknowledgment from the other side keep the connection alive and meaningful

When these elements are present, relationships become sources of joy, comfort, and strength. But when one side stops reciprocating, even the most well-intentioned efforts can feel futile.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a relationship may not flourish. If your commitment and sincerity are met with indifference and dismissiveness, the connection may begin to feel mechanical and burdensome. Such relationships might endure due to societal pressures or personal obligations, but they often fail to bring true fulfillment, they may survive but people involved in it don't thrive.

However, the hard truth is this: not all relationships are meant to last. If a connection becomes toxic—if it drains your energy, affects your mental health, or fails to reciprocate your efforts—it’s okay to step away. Walking away from a relationship you’ve invested in is never easy. It’s natural to feel a sense of loss or even guilt. However, prioritizing your well-being is not selfish—it’s essential.

Here’s why choosing yourself matters:

• Protecting Your Peace: Toxic relationships can disrupt your mental and emotional balance. Stepping away helps restore your sense of peace.
• Making Space for Healthy Connections: Letting go of draining relationships opens the door for new, uplifting ones.
• Honoring Your Worth: You deserve relationships that value and support you.

Strong, positive relationships nurture your mind and enhance your overall well-being. As you navigate your connections, remember: that it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s okay to expect reciprocity. And it’s okay to walk away when a relationship no longer serves you. Your happiness, peace, and sanity are worth the effort it takes to protect them. Choose relationships that uplift and inspire you, and never hesitate to let go of those that hold you back. Remember, choosing yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary. Your happiness and peace matter.

You deserve to be surrounded by love, support, and positivity. Choose wisely, and never forget that your well-being comes first.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

The Purpose of Liberal Ideals

I consider myself a socially liberal person. I was born and raised in a very conservative family and society. Concepts like gender equality, feminism, racism, casteism, equity, and social justice were alien to me while growing up. Liberal values entered very late in my life but when they entered they provided a solid backbone to fight against many social evils, such as gender discrimination, casteism, and racism, that were and still are prevalent in our society. The enduring relevance of liberalism does not just lie in winning elections and forming governments to reform societies towards more secular and inclusive values but it lies in its ability to create pressure whether directly, through electoral victories, or indirectly, by forcing opponents to temper their agendas. In this context, liberalism serves its purpose, regardless of immediate political outcomes. The real purpose of liberal ideas is to perform the balancing act, where any extremism is tamed due to the mere presence of a watchdog who threatens to take back the power if the situation gets worse. Liberalism needs to be a persistent force of progress irrespective of who is in power. 

As conservatives craft narratives that excite and energize their voter base, liberals remain the unseen hand guiding societal balance. Their role is less about immediate dominance and more about ensuring the long-term sustainability of democratic ideals. This is how liberalism always worked. The entire world was dominated by narrow and conservative ideas that perpetuated discrimination and hate. Under the name of preserving culture, religion, and supremacy so many people were killed or suppressed. Even then, there were people who dared to propagate liberal values and this is the reason social evils like slavery were eradicated and other evils like racism and gender discrimination have been tamed to a considerable extent. 

Moving forward, if liberals want to remain as a viable political option their challenges in the current political climate are clear. First, they need to rebuild the trust. Liberals must reconnect with their base, understanding and addressing the evolving needs of diverse groups is critical for them. One of the most pressing tasks for liberals is to rebuild trust with their diverse voter base. Over time, relying on socially and economically suppressed classes as a core constituency has proven insufficient. Why? Because the social and economic needs of every group evolve. Liberal parties must recognize that no single group can serve as a permanent foundation. A broad coalition built on mutual trust and inclusivity is vital. They must address criticism of perceived elitism or disconnection by demonstrating authenticity and commitment to all sections of society. Second, they need to energize the participation of people who subscribe to social liberal values. Mobilizing voters who align with liberal values is a significant hurdle for liberals, and they struggle a lot in this, especially in the emotionally charged and polarizing electoral atmosphere. Many voters feel detached from electoral stakes for liberals, and their participation often lags behind that of conservatives. Finding ways to mobilize their core constituency, not just online but on the ground and during the elections, especially those who feel detached from electoral stakes is crucial, they must strengthen on-the-ground efforts to reach voters where they are. Creating compelling narratives that make people feel their vote truly matters by connecting political outcomes to their day-to-day lives is crucial. Third, they need to upgrade their communication with electoral voters. In an era dominated by social media and an overwhelming flow of information, liberals must craft their messaging to resonate in a rapidly changing landscape. Simply relying on their reputation as the "good guys" is no longer enough. They must speak to people’s immediate concerns in clear, relatable terms. Abstract ideals or overly intellectual arguments may alienate some voters. They need to utilize social media strategically and understand the platforms where voters spend their time and adapt messaging to suit each medium. Visual storytelling, short videos, and concise messages often outperform traditional approaches. Finally, while adapting to contemporary concerns, liberals must not compromise on their foundational values of inclusion, equality, and justice. 

Liberal parties can no longer assume that voters will align with them purely because of their ideals. They must work hard to earn every vote by demonstrating the tangible impact of their policies and by staying closely connected to their constituencies. This is not just a political challenge but an opportunity for reinvention. By rebuilding trust, energizing participation, and modernizing their messaging, liberals can carve out a new path that not only sustains their relevance but also positions them as a robust and compelling alternative in the global political arena. The political climate is dynamic, and with the right strategies, liberals can regain their electoral footing. No doubt, the work will be difficult and demanding, but it is essential - not just for the survival of truly liberal parties but for the health of democratic systems worldwide. The real purpose of liberal values is to protect democratic principles such as equality, equity, and inclusion and fight against social evils such as gender discrimination, racism, majoritarianism, and communal hate.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Happy New Year

Welcome to 2025. Another year has dawned, bringing with it the promise of new beginnings and fresh opportunities. We experience many moments of joy and sorrow in any given year. Like every other year, 2024 was filled with moments of joy and sorrow, highs and lows, and experiences that shaped us in countless ways. For some, milestones like graduation, marriage, childbirth, or the loss of a loved one defined the year. For others, it was a quieter journey marked by personal victories and challenges.

As we step into 2025, many of us may be looking for New Year’s resolutions—some routine, some ambitious. Whether your goals involve fitness, career growth, or mastering a new skill, I have one suggestion to add to your list: be kind—to yourself and to others. In a world that often feels divided and polarized, kindness is not just an act of goodwill; it’s a necessity. The pervasive negativity and divisiveness in our public discourse, fueled by selfish leaders and sensationalism, have left many searching for enemies in others to blame for all their problems. This mindset is neither healthy nor sustainable. Kindness, on the other hand, has the power to heal people and societies. It helps build strong and reliable connections with those around us. It fosters compassion and inclusiveness, qualities that can transform not only our personal relationships but also the broader society.

Imagine a world where we truly listened to one another, where we sought understanding instead of conflict. What if, instead of focusing on our differences, we celebrated our commonalities? What if, instead of focusing on our disagreements, we move forward on points where we agree? The choice is ours: we can dwell on what divides us, or we can embrace what unites us. Like all good deeds, kindness also begins at home—with yourself and with our families. Too often, we are our own harshest critics. We set impossible standards and berate ourselves for falling short. This year, resolve to offer yourself the same grace you would extend to a dear friend. When you are kind to yourself, you build a foundation for greater resilience and empathy. You become better equipped to show up for others with patience and understanding.

When kindness becomes a guiding principle, its ripple effects can be profound. It can restore civility to public discourse that has grown increasingly toxic. It can mend relationships and bridge divides. And it can remind us that we are stronger together than apart. Kindness doesn't stop us from disagreeing with others or standing up for ourselves, it just provides a different way of doing these things. Kindness is not just a personal virtue; it’s a societal imperative. A nation that moves forward with compassion and inclusiveness is one that thrives.

This year, let’s make kindness our collective resolution. Let’s commit to being more patient, more understanding, and more gracious—with ourselves and with others. Let’s choose connection over division, understanding over blaming, and love over hate. As 2025 unfolds, may we remember that the power to create a better world lies in the choices we make every day. Together, let’s build a future where kindness and compassion are the norm, not the exception.

Happy New Year! Here’s to a year filled with love, understanding, and meaningful connections!