Don't be a prisoner of your gender stereotype

Gender bias is still a pressing issue in most countries, including developed and developing countries. Gender stereotyping is one of the reasons why gender bias exists. Different cultures and societies tend to associate certain characteristics only with specific genders. For example, men are supposed to be more aggressive, emotionally and physically strong, natural leaders, and masculine; women are supposed to be more gentle, passive, emotional, physically weak, non-masculine, and unwilling to lead. Like all stereotypes, gender stereotyping may have some historical context for it, but it should be clear from the list that I used as an example that it is not proper to generalize the qualities of all genders just in two sets. For example, a man can be gentle, non-masculine, emotional, passive, and unwilling to lead; and a woman can be aggressive, emotionally and physically strong, masculine, and a natural leader. The point is that we should search for our own identity, and should not become a prisoner of our own gender stereotypes. 

Once we stereotype anything, including a gender, we attach specific characteristics to that group and create barriers around it. Anyone without those characteristics is considered an outlier or abnormal. This forces many who don't have these characteristics to feel bad about themselves or insufficient, suffer from mental health issues, or make them feel like a failure. Instead of being proud of what they are, people try to fit in, just to get accepted. They really try hard to fit in by concealing their true identity. This is the worst thing a society can inflict on any person. Imagine living in a prison for no fault of yours where you are forced to act in a certain way, wear certain clothes, eat a certain food, and live the life of someone who is anyone but not you. This is what we do when we live as a prisoner of our own gender stereotypes. Try to be free, and explore the world. Think about what is good for you, what makes you happy, draw your own boundaries and respect them, value your identity, and don't allow anyone to dilute or change it. Respect others and command respect from others. We should not tolerate nonsense and discrimination for ourselves or for others. It is we who should decide who we are, what qualities we want to have, and how we want to express ourselves. One can be a strong leader and emotional at the same time. One can be physically strong and feminine at the same time. A man can like to wear makeup and a woman may hate it. One can be of any combination, the possibilities are endless. This is what freedom is, this is what civil societies do, allow people to flourish. We all deserve to live free of fear of expressing ourselves. I don't think anyone of us wants to go back to the era where transgenders or homosexuals were forced to conceal their identities or used to get secreted when their identities were revealed. Therefore, don't be a prisoner of your gender stereotype, be free, express yourself, and let the world learn and accept your true identity. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

 

India's problem was never her politicians

Since my childhood, I regularly hear one theme in conversations about India, everyone talks about India's potential. Everyone says that India has a lot of talent, rich history, diversity, and whatnot, but somehow can't live up to its true potential. Most Indians also keep on repeating the same lines again and again without realizing that it is they who need to help their country realize its potential, not some outsiders. However, most are happy just debating these issues, blaming each other or their political opponents, and complaining about politicians and bureaucrats. However, most Indians are okay with corruption and corrupt politicians regularly get elected in various elections. It is a common perception that politics is a dirty game and that politicians are dishonest. To be fair, India is not the only country that has this perception about politicians, but it is definitely one of those countries that blame its politicians for all problems, for example, the problems of corruption, communalism, poor infrastructure, poverty, unemployment, brain drain, and whatnot is blamed to dirty politics. However, India's problem is not its politicians, but the people who elect these politicians, again and again, from different political parties. These people not only support such corrupt, many times, with criminal background people, but idolize them, worship them, and even after that, expect their society to be just and fair. Also, in India, it is very common to change political parties, unbelievable, but people thirsty for your blood can become your die-hard supporter once you switch to the party they support. Unbelievable, but true.

Once elected people with a criminal background become lawmakers, no matter how many laws exist in the law book, how many courts function, or how many police personnel work, it is impossible to have proper law and order. This is because no elected person will allow to law to take its proper course unless it hurts their opponents. When people of any country start reacting to crime based on who has committed it, not what is the nature of the crime, that country is sure to get doomed today or tomorrow. Once people see crimes through political, racial, religious, or any other bias, they are not looking at the crime, but at the criminal's identity and react based on that. That means the reactions are not based on the nature or gravity of the committed crime but on the identity of the accused. The same crime based on who has committed it generated drastically different reactions, people either try their best to downplay or justify the crime or try to demand the harshest possible punishment possible. Politicians make very good use of this, they instigate polarized emotions within society and benefit from dormant hate that many organizations silently brew within the society. Hate is a very potent social weapon, politicians, religious fanatics, and terrorists all use it very well. People knowingly fall into this trap so regularly that one can hardly blame anyone but the people themselves for being a toy in the hands of antisocial elements. This is the point of today's post, India's problem is not its politicians but people who support these politicians and don't dare to speak when a politician or the party they elected does something wrong. Things don't change overnight, but to start any change people first should start from themselves, only complaining about the system hardly initiates any change. Once people change their attitude and demand accountability from the politicians they elect, things will start changing. Until then, the evergreen argument of India has potential, this is how things are done in India would continue for many more decades.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

This is an attack on freedom of expression

On Friday, August 12, 2022, a  24-year-old man attacked Indian-born British author Salman Rushdie. The actual motives of this attack are not clear, but it is not difficult to guess why Mr. Rushdie will be attacked. He is an author who has written some books that created controversy in the past. Especially, his book, The Satanic Verses, first published in 1988, created controversy, and some countries like Iran issued a fatwa for his death. Various people related to this book (translators of the book in different languages) have been already attacked in various countries. This display of religious rage and hate is not new, freedom of expression is not guaranteed in many countries, even in some so-called democracies, books are banned and authors are attacked for what they write. However, the attack on Rushdie happened in the USA, a country with one of the best freedom of protection laws. Therefore, the attack is not just on Mr. Rushdie, it is an attack on the USA's core spirit, and it should be treated as such.

Freedom of expression is not an easy pill to swallow for everyone. Most people want this right for themselves so that they can say what they feel, and criticize whoever they want, but are seldom happy when others practice it, especially to say offensive stuff. Hurting religious sentiments is a timid and often-used excuse to curb freedom of expression in many countries. This is such a lame excuse. Religion is a centuries-old institution, it has survived violent attacks from each other (one religion attacking another verbally as well as physically), so, how does one more book or a speech or movie or anything expressed by anyone matter? If religions are not able to tolerate a book, movie, or speech against it how strong it is in reality? These are the questions religious people need to ask themselves, maybe they will find this post itself offensive, you never know. If we are serious about freedom of expression, we need to defend books like The Satanic Verses and authors like Mr. Rushdie. The USA has one of the best freedom of expression laws, these laws make this a special place for many like me who want to express and appreciate the expression of others. Defending freedom of expression is not easy, especially when things are being said that are offensive to us, but that's when it matters the most. If people around us only express things that we like or agree to, do you think there will be a need to protect free speech? Our commitment to freedom of expression is tested when offensive things are being said and when something despicable is said about things we revere or respect. Otherwise, why do we need such right? 

Protecting and celebrating freedom of expression is as important as defending the freedom of a country. Without freedom of expression, there is no real freedom. It really doesn't matter how old or how big of a democracy you are, it doesn't matter how old or how liberal your history or culture is, if there is no freedom of expression, there is no freedom at all. The USA has benefitted a lot due to its strong policies to protect freedom of expression. If it fails to do so the effect will be disastrous. I hope the attack on Rushdie acts as a warning to America and it acts accordingly to protect its most valuable aspect.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Empty nest?

Both my kids are in college now. Graduating from high school and going to college is a milestone in every student's life. The student and their parents give their best to achieve this moment. Going to college is an emotional moment for parents, they are happy to see their child graduate from high school and also a little sad because most kids leave their homes to attend the college of their choice, hence the metaphor of the "empty nest." Nests and homes have something in common, both are places where families live. Generally, nests are built to protect the eggs and newborn birds until they can fly on their own and feed themselves. However, there is one significant difference. Homes are not temporary residences, of course, people move and change their homes, but this is just a shift from one home to another. But the nests cease to be useful for birds once the newborn birds learn to fly and feed themselves. This is why I feel the metaphor of an empty nest makes sense but doesn't show the complete picture. Hence the question mark in the title.

Every phase of life changes the dynamics of our relationships. Every relationship, for example, between child and parent, friends, spouses, our surroundings, or our colleagues changes over time. Kids start their lives completely dependent on their parents or guardians, but slowly they get independent and pursue their own journeys. Parents are supposed to facilitate this process, but the journey has to be the kids' own. Unfortunately, not many parents are brave enough to allow their kids that free choice. Most instill them with their fears and insecurities, force their religious and political values, brainwash them with their cultural and social biases and prejudices, pass on their own stereotypes, and worst, use them as vehicles to fulfill their own unfulfilled dreams and expectations. Even after all this, every parent-child relationship is special in its own way as most parents do these things thinking that they are doing good for their child. 

When kids graduate high school, they are supposed to embark on their own journey. This journey is supposed to be special as they will be living out of their homes for the first time. In the US most colleges require living on campus for at least part of their four years of college as they believe that living separately from parents is a part of a student's growth. I did not get to do this, I lived with my parents until I left for the US to pursue my postdoctoral work. It had its own pros and cons. I never got to live an independent life outside the shadow of my parents until my late twenties, whereas most kids in the US start doing this in their teens, at the age of 18 or 19. Now back to the empty nest metaphor. Even though it is a beautiful metaphor, our homes don't get empty, my kids are very much part of our home, even though they stay 8-9 months of the year on campus and are busy with their friends during their vacations. So, the nest is not really empty, just relationship dynamics have changed, we have entered a different phase and it has its own charm and fun. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com