Breaking the Silence: Why Couples Should Talk About Sex

Sex is still a taboo topic in many societies, and India and the US are no exceptions. Even today, especially in Indian or Indian origin households, many parents scramble to change the channel if a kissing scene appears on screen while their children—sometimes even teenagers—are around. The discomfort around discussing sex is so ingrained that even couples in long-term relationships struggle to bring it up. But why? Why do couples freely discuss politics, finances, entertainment, and sports but hesitate when it comes to sex—something that is fundamental to our relationships and overall well-being?

The Paradox of Silence

People openly discuss matters that are important to them. Political enthusiasts engage in heated debates, movie buffs dissect the latest releases, and financial planners talk endlessly about investments and savings. However, sex—despite being a crucial part of romantic relationships—remains largely unspoken. Even though most couples agree that physical intimacy is vital to their happiness and connection, they avoid conversations about their desires, needs, and concerns.

This paradox exists because of deep-rooted cultural conditioning. Many societies, especially conservative ones, have long portrayed sex as something private, shameful, or even sinful. This messaging leads to guilt, embarrassment, and the mistaken belief that talking about sex somehow diminishes its sanctity. But most of us fail to understand that this silence can be more damaging.

Why Talking About Sex Matters

1. Strengthens Emotional Connection – Open discussions about sex foster trust, intimacy, and emotional closeness among couples. When couples can talk about their desires, boundaries, and needs without fear of judgment, they build a deeper bond.

2. Prevents Misunderstandings and Frustration – Many relationships suffer because of unmet expectations or dissatisfaction in the bedroom. Couples recognize that there is a problem but they shy away from even acknowledging it. Talking openly about what you enjoy, what you don’t, and what you’d like to explore ensures that both partners feel fulfilled and valued.

3. Encourages a Healthy and Satisfying Sex Life – A fulfilling sex life is linked to overall relationship satisfaction. Couples who communicate about sex tend to have better intimacy, which in turn strengthens their partnership in other aspects of life.

4. Reduces Anxiety and Insecurity – Silence breeds insecurity and frustration. When one partner hesitates to express their needs or concerns, it can lead to feelings of rejection or inadequacy. It can send misleading signals that can be easily avoided. Open conversations eliminate doubt and create a safe space for honesty.

5. Enhances Problem-Solving – Just like any other aspect of a relationship, sexual challenges can arise. Whether it’s a difference in libido, medical issues, or emotional roadblocks, discussing them together leads to constructive solutions rather than bottled-up resentment. Sex-related medical issues are like any other medical issue. We are getting better with mental health-related issues but are still lagging behind with sex health-related issues. 

How to Start the Conversation

For many, bringing up sex in conversation feels daunting. Here are some ways to ease into it:

• Choose the Right Moment – Avoid discussing sensitive topics during arguments or stressful situations. Instead, find a relaxed and comfortable setting.

• Be Honest but Gentle – Express your thoughts and desires openly but in a way that is considerate of your partner’s feelings. Remember, being honest doesn't mean being abrasive and hurtful, one can be gentle and still be honest.

• Use Media as a Conversation Starter – If watching a movie or reading an article or social media post about relationships, use it as a jumping-off point to start the conversation.

• Normalize the Discussion – The more you talk about it, the easier it becomes. Normalize discussing intimacy just as you would any other important relationship matter. If there is no shame in engaging in a sexual act as a couple, then there must not be any shame in discussing this topic.

Sex is not just a physical act—it is a crucial part of a romantic relationship that fosters love, intimacy, and connection. If couples can talk about their finances, careers, and hobbies, they should also feel comfortable discussing their sexual needs and desires. Breaking the silence on this topic will lead to stronger, healthier relationships built on trust, understanding, and mutual satisfaction. If your relationship matters to you, then all aspects related to it should also matter. As couples, it’s time to talk openly about sex, without shame or hesitation—because a fulfilling relationship deserves nothing less.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Privileged and Unisex Historical Perspectives

Human history is rich with literature from diverse cultures and societies. Across eras, literature has served as both a mirror to the world and a means of shaping it. However, one cannot ignore an unsettling reality: much of this literary legacy is inherently biased, shaped by the perspectives of the privileged—and overwhelmingly male—authors who controlled the narrative. This skewed lens has influenced how we understand history, culture, religion, and society, resulting in a perspective that is, at best, incomplete and, at worst, deeply exclusionary and unisex.

Literature Through the Prism of Privilege

A significant portion of historical literature comes from the pens of privileged individuals. These were often the educated elites with the leisure and resources to engage in literary pursuits. Consequently, the narratives and themes they explored tended to reflect their own experiences, concerns, and biases. The lives of underprivileged or marginalized communities, when depicted, were filtered through the lens of these privileged storytellers. There is no way to verify the authenticity of these depictions as there is no representation of underprivileged authors in the literature that survives various transitions of human history.

For instance, in many ancient civilizations, the voices of the working class, enslaved individuals, or women were seldom recorded firsthand. Their experiences were either ignored or romanticized, often reduced to stereotypes or supporting roles in stories centered on the lives of kings, warriors, and noblemen. This dynamic perpetuated a cycle in which the struggles, joys, and perspectives of the underprivileged were either misrepresented or erased from the broader narrative. Take any book or even epics like Ramayan, Mahabharat, or Eliad, they all are written by the elites and for the elites. Of course, over time the entire society adopted these epics as their own story as there was no other alternative. When the discourse is heavily dominated by voices from certain sections one tends to believe that only those voices are relevant. 

Even in more recent times, this pattern persists. Consider colonial literature, where indigenous cultures were often depicted through the lens of the colonizers. The historical accounts of the freedom struggle of India are also depicted through the lens of colonizers or the privileged class that either colluded or occasionally resisted colonizers to protect their own interests. These portrayals were laden with biases, reinforcing notions of cultural superiority, justifying the exploitation of the colonized, and dehumanizing or marginalizing underprivileged voices. The accounts of contributions from non-elite classes were either absent or consistently downplayed. Such literature, while historically significant, reflects a deeply skewed understanding of the societies it sought to describe.

The Male-Dominated Narrative

Adding another layer of bias is the predominance of male perspectives in literature. For much of history, social structures have relegated women to secondary roles, both in life and in literature, especially for underprivileged women. The narratives that emerged from this male-dominated world naturally reflected their worldview, concerns, and values. As a result, literature—whether religious, cultural, or historical—became overwhelmingly unisex in its outlook, focusing solely on male experiences and aspirations.

Even portrayals of women in historical literature were often shaped by male authors. Women were depicted as muses, temptresses, or paragons of virtue, their identities crafted to serve the narrative needs of male protagonists. Many books, mythological stories, and even movies include various complex male characters with various shared, however, any of these mediums have rarely presented females as fully realized individuals with agency and depth comparable to their male characters.

Religious texts, which have profoundly shaped cultures and societies, are no exception. Most were authored by men and reflected patriarchal structures, often relegating women to submissive or supportive roles. These texts have been instrumental in perpetuating gender norms and have influenced the way societies view women and their contributions. These texts have so profound influence in various societies that even women view themselves through the lens inculcated in their minds by these stories. 

Social Media and Emergence of Diverse Voices

It is only in recent history that this dominant narrative has been meaningfully challenged. The rise of social media has offered a unique platform for diverse voices, particularly from women and other marginalized groups. This has begun to shift the literary landscape significantly. Various female content creators have brought new perspectives to literature, exploring themes of identity, empowerment, and the lived experiences of women. Social media with all its drawbacks has democratized the narrative and helped reduce the gender gap, no one can deny this effect of social media.  

Moreover, the growing focus on intersectionality has highlighted the importance of including voices that reflect the complexities of race, class, gender, and sexuality. Writers from underprivileged backgrounds are now sharing their stories, offering unfiltered perspectives that challenge the narratives crafted by the privileged few.  This shift is not just a matter of representation; it is a rebalancing of the literary canon. For most of human history, only one section and one gender of society occupied the stage and now by including diverse voices, we gain a fuller understanding of the human experience, one that acknowledges the richness and complexity of different perspectives. Today's literature is the most diverse and richer than at any point in human history. I know many elites won't agree with me on this, but this is a verifiable fact and social media is one of the major factors that made it possible.

Moving Toward a More Inclusive Literary Tradition

While progress has been made, much work remains to be done. The literary world still grapples with systemic inequalities, and many voices continue to be marginalized. Publishers, educators, and readers must actively seek out and support diverse perspectives, ensuring that literature reflects the breadth of human experience. To move beyond the unisex perspective, we must embrace stories that challenge our assumptions and expand our understanding. By doing so, we honor the richness of humanity and create a literary tradition that is truly inclusive and representative of all voices.

In the end, literature is not just a reflection of society; it is a tool for shaping it. By addressing the biases inherent in our literary heritage, we can pave the way for a future where every story has the chance to be told, heard, and valued. I am lucky that I started writing the blog and could share my views and ideas on various platforms, I encourage my readers to share their stories also. You will be amazed to see how many people are like you and are interested in knowing your story. it is up to us to develop and be a part of a more inclusive and gender-balanced literary tradition. I am excited to be part of such a tradition, are you? 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

The Power of Relationships: Choosing Connections That Nurture Your Well-Being

Our relationships are more than just social interactions—they are profound connections that directly impact our mental, emotional, and even physical health. Each bond we form creates a unique social and emotional environment that affects our well-being. Strong, meaningful relationships are the cornerstone of a happy and fulfilling life. That’s why it’s so important to develop meaningful and strong relationships, but they don’t happen by accident. Building these connections requires time, effort, and a mutual commitment from both sides.

A thriving relationship is a two-way street. It flourishes when both parties invest sincerely, showing mutual respect and care. This process involves:

• Quality Time: Relationships grow stronger when we prioritize meaningful interactions, this can be done through heartfelt conversations or shared experiences.
• Sincere Effort: A genuine desire to understand and support one another is vital.
• Encouragement and Reciprocity: Positive feedback and acknowledgment from the other side keep the connection alive and meaningful

When these elements are present, relationships become sources of joy, comfort, and strength. But when one side stops reciprocating, even the most well-intentioned efforts can feel futile.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a relationship may not flourish. If your commitment and sincerity are met with indifference and dismissiveness, the connection may begin to feel mechanical and burdensome. Such relationships might endure due to societal pressures or personal obligations, but they often fail to bring true fulfillment, they may survive but people involved in it don't thrive.

However, the hard truth is this: not all relationships are meant to last. If a connection becomes toxic—if it drains your energy, affects your mental health, or fails to reciprocate your efforts—it’s okay to step away. Walking away from a relationship you’ve invested in is never easy. It’s natural to feel a sense of loss or even guilt. However, prioritizing your well-being is not selfish—it’s essential.

Here’s why choosing yourself matters:

• Protecting Your Peace: Toxic relationships can disrupt your mental and emotional balance. Stepping away helps restore your sense of peace.
• Making Space for Healthy Connections: Letting go of draining relationships opens the door for new, uplifting ones.
• Honoring Your Worth: You deserve relationships that value and support you.

Strong, positive relationships nurture your mind and enhance your overall well-being. As you navigate your connections, remember: that it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s okay to expect reciprocity. And it’s okay to walk away when a relationship no longer serves you. Your happiness, peace, and sanity are worth the effort it takes to protect them. Choose relationships that uplift and inspire you, and never hesitate to let go of those that hold you back. Remember, choosing yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary. Your happiness and peace matter.

You deserve to be surrounded by love, support, and positivity. Choose wisely, and never forget that your well-being comes first.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

The Purpose of Liberal Ideals

I consider myself a socially liberal person. I was born and raised in a very conservative family and society. Concepts like gender equality, feminism, racism, casteism, equity, and social justice were alien to me while growing up. Liberal values entered very late in my life but when they entered they provided a solid backbone to fight against many social evils, such as gender discrimination, casteism, and racism, that were and still are prevalent in our society. The enduring relevance of liberalism does not just lie in winning elections and forming governments to reform societies towards more secular and inclusive values but it lies in its ability to create pressure whether directly, through electoral victories, or indirectly, by forcing opponents to temper their agendas. In this context, liberalism serves its purpose, regardless of immediate political outcomes. The real purpose of liberal ideas is to perform the balancing act, where any extremism is tamed due to the mere presence of a watchdog who threatens to take back the power if the situation gets worse. Liberalism needs to be a persistent force of progress irrespective of who is in power. 

As conservatives craft narratives that excite and energize their voter base, liberals remain the unseen hand guiding societal balance. Their role is less about immediate dominance and more about ensuring the long-term sustainability of democratic ideals. This is how liberalism always worked. The entire world was dominated by narrow and conservative ideas that perpetuated discrimination and hate. Under the name of preserving culture, religion, and supremacy so many people were killed or suppressed. Even then, there were people who dared to propagate liberal values and this is the reason social evils like slavery were eradicated and other evils like racism and gender discrimination have been tamed to a considerable extent. 

Moving forward, if liberals want to remain as a viable political option their challenges in the current political climate are clear. First, they need to rebuild the trust. Liberals must reconnect with their base, understanding and addressing the evolving needs of diverse groups is critical for them. One of the most pressing tasks for liberals is to rebuild trust with their diverse voter base. Over time, relying on socially and economically suppressed classes as a core constituency has proven insufficient. Why? Because the social and economic needs of every group evolve. Liberal parties must recognize that no single group can serve as a permanent foundation. A broad coalition built on mutual trust and inclusivity is vital. They must address criticism of perceived elitism or disconnection by demonstrating authenticity and commitment to all sections of society. Second, they need to energize the participation of people who subscribe to social liberal values. Mobilizing voters who align with liberal values is a significant hurdle for liberals, and they struggle a lot in this, especially in the emotionally charged and polarizing electoral atmosphere. Many voters feel detached from electoral stakes for liberals, and their participation often lags behind that of conservatives. Finding ways to mobilize their core constituency, not just online but on the ground and during the elections, especially those who feel detached from electoral stakes is crucial, they must strengthen on-the-ground efforts to reach voters where they are. Creating compelling narratives that make people feel their vote truly matters by connecting political outcomes to their day-to-day lives is crucial. Third, they need to upgrade their communication with electoral voters. In an era dominated by social media and an overwhelming flow of information, liberals must craft their messaging to resonate in a rapidly changing landscape. Simply relying on their reputation as the "good guys" is no longer enough. They must speak to people’s immediate concerns in clear, relatable terms. Abstract ideals or overly intellectual arguments may alienate some voters. They need to utilize social media strategically and understand the platforms where voters spend their time and adapt messaging to suit each medium. Visual storytelling, short videos, and concise messages often outperform traditional approaches. Finally, while adapting to contemporary concerns, liberals must not compromise on their foundational values of inclusion, equality, and justice. 

Liberal parties can no longer assume that voters will align with them purely because of their ideals. They must work hard to earn every vote by demonstrating the tangible impact of their policies and by staying closely connected to their constituencies. This is not just a political challenge but an opportunity for reinvention. By rebuilding trust, energizing participation, and modernizing their messaging, liberals can carve out a new path that not only sustains their relevance but also positions them as a robust and compelling alternative in the global political arena. The political climate is dynamic, and with the right strategies, liberals can regain their electoral footing. No doubt, the work will be difficult and demanding, but it is essential - not just for the survival of truly liberal parties but for the health of democratic systems worldwide. The real purpose of liberal values is to protect democratic principles such as equality, equity, and inclusion and fight against social evils such as gender discrimination, racism, majoritarianism, and communal hate.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Happy New Year

Welcome to 2025. Another year has dawned, bringing with it the promise of new beginnings and fresh opportunities. We experience many moments of joy and sorrow in any given year. Like every other year, 2024 was filled with moments of joy and sorrow, highs and lows, and experiences that shaped us in countless ways. For some, milestones like graduation, marriage, childbirth, or the loss of a loved one defined the year. For others, it was a quieter journey marked by personal victories and challenges.

As we step into 2025, many of us may be looking for New Year’s resolutions—some routine, some ambitious. Whether your goals involve fitness, career growth, or mastering a new skill, I have one suggestion to add to your list: be kind—to yourself and to others. In a world that often feels divided and polarized, kindness is not just an act of goodwill; it’s a necessity. The pervasive negativity and divisiveness in our public discourse, fueled by selfish leaders and sensationalism, have left many searching for enemies in others to blame for all their problems. This mindset is neither healthy nor sustainable. Kindness, on the other hand, has the power to heal people and societies. It helps build strong and reliable connections with those around us. It fosters compassion and inclusiveness, qualities that can transform not only our personal relationships but also the broader society.

Imagine a world where we truly listened to one another, where we sought understanding instead of conflict. What if, instead of focusing on our differences, we celebrated our commonalities? What if, instead of focusing on our disagreements, we move forward on points where we agree? The choice is ours: we can dwell on what divides us, or we can embrace what unites us. Like all good deeds, kindness also begins at home—with yourself and with our families. Too often, we are our own harshest critics. We set impossible standards and berate ourselves for falling short. This year, resolve to offer yourself the same grace you would extend to a dear friend. When you are kind to yourself, you build a foundation for greater resilience and empathy. You become better equipped to show up for others with patience and understanding.

When kindness becomes a guiding principle, its ripple effects can be profound. It can restore civility to public discourse that has grown increasingly toxic. It can mend relationships and bridge divides. And it can remind us that we are stronger together than apart. Kindness doesn't stop us from disagreeing with others or standing up for ourselves, it just provides a different way of doing these things. Kindness is not just a personal virtue; it’s a societal imperative. A nation that moves forward with compassion and inclusiveness is one that thrives.

This year, let’s make kindness our collective resolution. Let’s commit to being more patient, more understanding, and more gracious—with ourselves and with others. Let’s choose connection over division, understanding over blaming, and love over hate. As 2025 unfolds, may we remember that the power to create a better world lies in the choices we make every day. Together, let’s build a future where kindness and compassion are the norm, not the exception.

Happy New Year! Here’s to a year filled with love, understanding, and meaningful connections!

Liberal Influence Beyond Elections - My perspective

In recent years, political landscapes worldwide have witnessed a striking trend of the consistent rise of conservative or right-wing forces. From developed democracies to emerging nations, liberal political parties rooted in secularism and inclusion face a series of electoral defeats. For many who champion liberal ideals, this trend can be disheartening, evoking a sense of disillusionment and hopelessness. I feel this phenomenon warrants deeper analysis, not just as a commentary on electoral outcomes but as a reflection of the evolving interplay between societies and various ideologies. Contrary to the current perception, liberalism even in the shadow of electoral losses continues to shape society, often in subtle but profound ways.

At first glance, the conservative victory march might seem to reflect the triumph of their ideology. However, much of their electoral success stems from the loyalty of a steadfast voter base and some electoral blunders by liberals. Conservative supporters often vote with unwavering commitment, regardless of a candidate's flaws or controversies. Whether the candidate is perceived as corrupt, controversial, or extreme, their core vote bank remains intact. Liberals, on the other hand, lack this kind of dedicated and unconditional support. Their voter base is diverse and fluid, comprising groups drawn to specific policies or values. For example: immigrants may support liberal policies during their initial years of integration into society; workers might align with liberal agendas during periods of economic struggle; and minorities may rally behind liberals for protection against majoritarianism. However, as these groups stabilize or achieve their goals, their loyalty often wanes based on their social and economic interests. This dynamic reflects a paradox for liberals: their success in empowering and integrating marginalized groups inadvertently diminishes their long-term voter base. Furthermore, the educated, economically secure demographic often seen as the core liberal constituency does not vote with the same urgency as conservative voters. With little at stake personally in elections, their participation hinges more on the nature of the candidate and ideological alignment than existential concerns. This may explain some shift in voting patterns by the groups who were mistakenly considered liberal voters.

Despite losing elections, liberal ideals continue to exert significant influence. This happens at least in two ways. First, due to the need for conservative moderation. When conservatives win elections, their victory often extends beyond their traditional voter base. To maintain this broader coalition, they are compelled to moderate their extreme rhetoric. Even when they rely on divisive propaganda to galvanize their core supporters, implementing such rhetoric becomes politically unfeasible in governance. As a result, many conservative governments tone down their hardline positions to accommodate the diverse expectations of their electorate. This moderation, ironically, is not organic but is driven by the liberal values embedded in modern democratic systems. Liberals may lose the electoral battle, but their principles indirectly shape the policy and governance of conservative government. For example, many social welfare schemes enacted by liberal governments are continued by subsequent conservative governments, often, unwillingly. Second, the liberal watchdog effect forces conservatives to abandon their toxic propaganda when they are in power. Conservatives often target liberals as their primary opposition, even when liberals lack significant electoral power. This consistent focus highlights the role of liberalism as a counterweight to extremism. By existing as a credible alternative, liberals ensure that democratic norms and values remain intact. Therefore, the liberal influence extends beyond ballots to shaping societal discourse, safeguarding inclusion, and preventing the erosion of democratic institutions.

While the current trend may seem bleak for liberals, it is essential to recognize the broader picture. Electoral defeats, though painful, do not signal the demise of liberal ideals. Instead, these ideals continue to exert a quiet but powerful influence on governance, policy, and society. So, for those disheartened by the rise of conservative forces, take solace in this: the essence of liberalism lies not just in winning elections but in shaping the world in ways that ensure inclusivity, equality, equity, and progress, sometimes through direct action and sometimes by compelling others to act. In the grand scheme of democracy, the show goes on, and liberals remain an indispensable part of the story, no matter which government is in power.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Cow and casteism

Why is cow sacred, but buffalo is not? I always wondered about this as a kid. Most readers may know that the cow is considered a sacred animal in India and while beef is consumed and sold in some parts of India, it is banned in most states, and some Muslims have been attacked and mob lynched merely due to a suspicion of possessing beef, especially in northern and western parts of India. Growing up in a cow-worshipping society, I always wondered why cows but not buffalo, goats, sheep, or any other milk-giving animal have the same holy status. What is so special about cows that is not with buffalos? Both give milk and dung that have the same uses and meats of both can be sold as beef. The only difference is buffaloes are always black in color whereas cows are of different colors mostly shades of white. I strongly feel that their color and looks are the major reasons why the cow is holy and buffalo is not, definitely, their utilities as agricultural animals have no bearing on this. I feel casteism can be considered as the root of this. It seems the cow belongs to the upper case and the buffalo belongs to the lower caste, therefore, one is holy and the other is not. 

Caste is an integral part of Indian society, this is true even today, rather, one can see the resurgence of case-based identity. Casteism differentiates and discriminates against people based on their birth. Some people are considered superior to others just because of their birth in families belonging to certain castes. There are phrases like "upper caste" and "lower caste" freely used in day-to-day conversations. This casteism has allowed the cows to get holy status whereas buffaloes have no such status. This is a simple case of casteism, the most common social discrimination method in India, the same as racism in other parts of the world. Buffaloes are victims of casteism or racism and cows are beneficiaries of this discrimination.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

What is America?

What is America? 

Is it just a country with geographical boundaries like any other country? Is it a superpower, the most powerful country in the world? Is it the most important economy? Is it the most attractive market in the world? Is it the most preferred country for immigrants all over the world? Is it all of the above or is it something else? America is much more than its borders or its economic and military power, it is an idea that has been manifested to include all of the above characteristics. It is an experiment in diversity, democracy, and freedom—an idea that has inspired many and attracted people worldwide, it is an idea that no other country dared to implement on such a scale. It was built on the bold idea that individuals should have the liberty to make their own choices about religion, occupation, relationships, and expression. However, believe it or not, this idea of America is under attack by none other than Americans themselves.  

Even though one can argue that the US is the best country to live in compared to any country of this size and diversity, it has always been a work in progress, continuously tested and refined as the nation evolved, and it has its own problems. Racism, misogyny, and bigotry still exist in the US, comparatively less, but to an extent where one can see and feel it. The basic idea of America was the freedom to choose. The freedom to choose your religion or not to choose any religion, freedom to choose your occupation, freedom to choose a place to live, freedom to marry a person you love, freedom to express, and freedom from unreasonable interference from the government. I agree that the US Constitution was far from perfect when it was written as all these freedoms were not granted to everyone when it was written. However, in the following decades through 27 amendments, some of them resulting from civil rights and feminist movements, at least some of those mistakes were corrected. For example, the Reconstruction Amendments, the 13th (ratified in 1865), 14th (1868), and 15th (1870) Amendments, abolished slavery and granted men the right to vote irrespective of race; and the 19th Amendment (Women's Right to Vote) was ratified in 1920, granting women the constitutional right to vote (50 years after all men got that right). Note that the Child Labor Amendment to empower the federal government to limit, regulate, and prohibit child labor, and the Equal Rights Amendment which was supposed to grant equal rights irrespective of sex, failed to be ratified by more than 3/4ths of states. Apart from these amendments, some laws like The Civil Rights Act of 1964, and US Supreme Court Decisions like Brown v. Board of Education (1954), and Loving v. Virginia (1967), helped to control if not completely remove racial discrimination. Most of these problems still persist and the struggle is still on especially for women's reproductive rights and systematic racial and gender discrimination, I would say that the US is the best place to live compared to all other places. This is not because it is perfect or has no problems, but because it has fewer problems compared to most other places.

So, why are the ideals that America purports to represent under attack by many of its own residents? One of the reasons is that America is much more diverse due to immigration all over the world and some Americans see this as a threat to their supremacy. This fear is understandable but their actions are not. America's diversity is indeed one of its most powerful assets. It fosters innovation, resilience, and a dynamic society where different perspectives blend to create something unique. Diversity of race, national origin, age, culture, gender, or sexual orientation is not a threat to any nation, religion, or culture, rather it is an opportunity to learn more and build a more diverse and equitable society. America has benefitted immensely because of immigration and immigrants; its success story cannot be written without highlighting the contributions and sacrifices of immigrants. Yes, illegal immigration is an important issue and should be handled urgently with utmost care and sensitivity, but economic disparity and women's reproductive rights are equally important if not bigger issues that need to be addressed. 

The core spirit of America, the freedom to choose is getting attacked, ironically from within. It reflects a desire by some to return to a homogeneous society. They want a homogeneous society that thinks alike and behaves alike, where one religion is superior to others, and where women's rights can be decided based on the religious faith of the majority. But this version of America—a singular, monolithic culture—goes against the nation’s progressive vision, that had made it what it is today. The real challenge America faces is internal: whether it will embrace its identity as a pluralistic nation or regress toward a restrictive vision of conformity. If we want to move forward and make America better, we can't go back, we need to move forward and realize that America's greatest strength lies in embracing differences, finding unity in diversity, and understanding that pluralism, not uniformity, is America's greatest legacy. Balancing individual freedoms with a cohesive national identity is a continuous challenge, yet achieving it is essential if America is to fulfill its promise to itself and to the world, the sooner we realize this better it is for us and for America.     

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Our values, our politics, and our hypocrisy

Everyone claims to have some values and ethics. These values may come from family, culture, religion, or personal experiences, no matter what the source is, we all claim to have some values and stand by them. We also have our politics, we either support or oppose certain policies, some of us are openly aligned with a certain political party, and some are independent but are close to either liberal or conservative ideas. Irrespective of our politics, we claim that our political choices align with our values. After all, politics, especially in today's world, is omnipresent. However, it is easy to have values but it's not easy to stand by them when tested. Many of us are willing to compromise or dump our values when it doesn't suit us politically, exposing our hypocrisy. This is abundantly clear during this election in the US, and to make it clear, the US voters are not the exception, this is what happens in most places where you see some questionable candidates getting traction, hate, and divisiveness resulting in political dividends, it's not the politician, it's our hypocrisy that's must be blamed. When we compromise on values, especially for political convenience or out of tribal loyalty, it weakens our claim that we hold any real principles.

For me, alignment with values and politics is not that complicated, rather, I find it necessary to align personal values with political choices. In today’s politically charged environment, where politics is intertwined with every aspect of society, the disconnect between what people claim to stand for and whom they support becomes glaringly evident. Nothing exposes our hypocrisy more than our politics.

If someone claims to support women’s rights, constitutional integrity, or ethical leadership, but then endorses a candidate or party that actively undermines those values, their claims are false and they do not care about any of these things. It’s easy to profess values when they’re not being tested, but the true measure of integrity is whether one holds firm to those values when it's politically inconvenient or challenging to do so. Supporting a candidate or party that contradicts one’s professed values without holding them accountable reveals a fundamental gap between what we say and what we actually support. For example, if I claim to support women's rights, and then I extend my support to a candidate or party who does not care about women's reproductive rights, then my claim is not only false but I also support abrogation of women's personal rights; if I claim to support constitutional integrity including the independent functioning of various branches of government but support a candidate who attacks these values and demands personal loyalty rather than personal accountability, then, my claims are false and I support weakening the independence of various government branches by violating the constitutional values; if I claim to be against sexual harassment but extend my support to a candidate who openly says derogatory stuff about women and claims to sexually harass women, then, my claim of supporting women's rights is false and I also support that candidate's obnoxious behavior. The list can go on, but I think the readers understand what I am trying to argue. If we claim to have certain values, we need to stand by them and demand accountability when we see those values being violated. If not, we do not have any right to claim to possess those values, they are nothing more than hollow statements. This is directly related to one of the most dangerous justifications we see in modern politics: the “lesser of two evils” argument, where people excuse their candidate's harmful actions because "the other side is worse." This rationalization allows for a slippery slope where values are compromised, slowly but steadily until they lose all meaning. It's not the responsibility of the opposing side to demand accountability, but it is the duty of the supporters to raise the standards in politics.

Out hypocrisy is exposed most when we defend the indefensible behavior with selective outrage; when we use our intelligence and smartness to defend the derogatory and offensive actions of the candidate we support; when we criticize the opposition for actions we tolerate in our own side; when we believe blatant lies without verifying them just because it suits our side of the argument. Our politics exposes our hypocrisy more than anything else. So, if you claim to have some values and don't want to be hypocritical, then be careful about who you support and how you defend your political choice. It is not the job of the opponent to ask for accountability, supporters need to do that if we expect any change in the way politics has been conducted so far. It’s not enough to defend a candidate simply because they belong to “our side” while turning a blind eye to their faults. If voters truly care about the values they espouse, they need to look beyond party lines and tribalism, and they must be willing to critique their own side just as harshly as they would the opposition. 

If we want politics to change, if we want to rise above the hypocrisy that permeates the system, we must first hold ourselves accountable. Our political choices are personal, but they are also a reflection of the integrity—or lack thereof—behind the values we claim to stand for. In the end, it’s not just about who we vote for, but about whether our choices truly reflect the values we claim to embody. If not, it’s our hypocrisy, not just flawed candidates, that is to blame for the disillusionment in politics today. Remember, nothing exposes our hypocrisy more than our politics, be vigilant to protect your values and please vote.   

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Why are we becoming so hateful to each other?

I am sure everyone must have noticed the extremely polarized environment around them. I am not just talking about people having extreme political views, but also about any other social and personal issues. We have reached so far in politicizing each and every aspect of our lives, that even being a feminist is now considered a partisan political statement. We are downgrading every personal and social issue to partisan politics, and there does not seem to be any end to this self-inflicted degradation. So, why are we becoming so hateful towards each other? Why are we behaving like we are part of some cult? What changed and why did we allow ourselves to degrade to such a low level? And ultimately, why aren't we ashamed of this degradation? I don't know if people are thinking about these questions, but I have been wondering about these things for the last few years. Maybe many of us were always this racist, casteist, and hateful, these people never dared to express this hate and rage openly as society in general was not receptive to these ideas, and now some politicians have legitimized these hateful and revengeful feelings to come out in the open, just like Hitler did in Germany. This seems to be the case in many parts of the world including democratic countries like the USA and India. People are becoming hostile to minorities, and immigrants are being treated as invaders, and social and cultural outcastes almost like a discarded commodity transferred from one part of the world to another part. I can understand politicians flaming such rhetoric for their selfish motives, but the strange and worse part is that people are buying such ridiculously outrageous narratives. We know our neighbors and other community members. We interact with each other in various places, our kids go to school together, and we share our neighborhood and other public places like parks and shopping centers. And still, we fall prey to utterly false hateful narratives manufactured by politicians and some so-called influencers who do this only to gain votes and popularity. The most tragic part is that this all is happening in an era when access to information is so easy. People are allowing themselves to get manipulated without any resistance, and this is happening across the political spectrum. Yeah, one side may be doing it better compared to the other but they all are doing it. The way conservative politicians are weaponizing their supporters is something I have never seen before. Most political parties are turning into a cult movement but the way conservatives are leading the way is astonishing and phenomenal. Conservatives who used to swear for individual freedom and fundamental rights are now at the forefront of attacking the fundamental reproductive rights of women, and freedom of immigrants without realizing the apparent hypocrisy in their behavior. The situation is so bad that people are neither bothered about their own hypocrisy nor the hypocrisy of the politicians they vote for. Perpetual cynicism is considered as a mark of wisdom and intellect and optimists are considered naive and foolish; this is where we stand currently. However, even after all this, I am an optimist. I am optimistic that people will realize that fanaticism is not going to take them anyplace nice. No matter which side they are rooting for, eliminating their opponents is not a practical option but working with them for the betterment of their society and country is the only option. The sooner we realize this better for all of us.   

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com