Have fun

When anyone from our home leaves for work or school and says bye to me, I reply, "Have fun" instead of saying "Bye" or "See ya." I didn't realize this for long until Reena brought this to my attention and that made me think why I say that. By saying have fun, I did not mean that don't work hard or don't focus on studies. The general perception about having fun is that people are careless and lose their focus. I definitely did not mean that by "have fun." I meant that go and enjoy your work or study. No doubt, it is important to focus on our work and give our 100%, focus on our studies, and be an attentive student, but if we do that while having fun our performance will be much better and we will not only feel good about what we are doing but also would derive satisfaction and joy from it.

So, why it is important to have fun while doing your work, attending school, or studying. I can provide a very simple rationale: our work or studies including school and college are an integral part of our lives and they also occupy quite a substantial portion of our lives, and if we do not enjoy these activities then imagine spending such a huge chunk of our life in doing things which we dislike. How unhealthy it will be for our mental health. Imagine going to school or college and hating to be there. Imagine going to work only to look forward to the weekend and dislike what we do five days a week. Enjoying our work and studies not only makes us better in our studies or work but also makes our lives more happy and fulfilling. Find what you like and pursue that with all the rigor and passion. Work hard towards what you want. You may or may not achieve it, but at least you will have the satisfaction of a joyful journey. There will be days of struggle and failure, and you will face obstacles that sometimes will look impossible to conquer, but if you like what you do and have fun while doing it that will make that struggle a worthy endeavor to pursue. Remember, if we don't value our talent, if we don't pursue our passion, no one else will. So, my advice to all readers is, to remember that life is very short and unpredictable, so, don't forget to have fun at every stage of your life.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

The art of happiness

A disclaimer first, this post has nothing to do with the book "The Art Of Happiness" written by Dalai Lama, I have not read the book but only came to know about it when I was searching if anyone has already used this title and no surprise that Mr. Dalai Lama has already written a book about it. The post is about my own experiences and struggles, it has nothing to do with the above-mentioned book.

If we look at the history of human civilization, the level and type of stress changes generation after generation. We improved our physical comforts a lot because of progress in technological aspects of our lives. Our generation has more access to travel, education, clean water, food, information, medicines, and many other things compared to our previous generations. However, our generation also has more complicated psychological problems. We also have two parallel worlds now: the real world and a virtual world in which we live simultaneously. Despite all this progress in the physical world, why are we struggling to keep up the same speed in the psychological or mental world? Why suicide rates are going up? Why are we not happy and more connected with each other and help each other in moments of need and desperation? Questions are many, and each individual needs to search for an answer for himself or herself. We humans are extremely complex organisms and hence our problems are complex and their solutions are going to differ from person to person.

Can we learn how to be happy on our own or is it something that entirely depends on our surroundings? Is being happy is a habit or an art? I think one can definitely learn how to be happy. Happiness is extremely personal and this is what people are forgetting, they are getting more into comparative happiness. I see that many people base their own happiness on how happy others are around them. They want to buy that dream house because everyone in their age group has such a house, they want that car because that's a status symbol, they want to have a job with a six-figure income because that's what they are being told a successful career is. Many of these perceptions and beliefs are acquired without giving any serious thought to what we actually want and what are our own needs and desires that make us happy. The biggest problem is that this conditioning of mind starts so early in our lives that we don't even develop a capacity to think about our own needs and desires. This conditioning wires our minds in such a way that we knowingly or unknowingly start walking on a path paved for us by culture, religion, media, society, or people around us. Mind it, this conditioning is very intense and organized, it's impossible to escape it.

So, how to learn the art of being happy? The basic question is, do we even know what the real happiness means? Is the pursuit of personal happiness worth the effort it will take, or it is better to surrender to what our society dictates to us? Why anyone should believe whatever I am writing is the right way to think about happiness? Actually, that's the whole point of the post, the post is not about educating you on what is happiness and how to be happy, but it is about recognizing the problems that are prohibiting us from being happy and being aware of forces that are pushing us on a fabricated path of happiness. The first step that anyone can take is to stop engaging in comparative happiness. Not everyone has to go on a vacation, and not everyone needs to own a house or a car. We all are different and there is nothing wrong with it. Our sex, sexual orientation, race, nationality, or any other trait doesn't make us any better or worse. We all are unique and we must recognize this aspect not only about ourselves but about others around us as well. We also need to become aware of what are we actually seeking, for example, education is important not from which college or university you get it. It is important to have fun while doing your job, so if you are dragging every day to work then it is not the right area of work for you, it's time to try something different. There are many small steps that we can take to take control of our own lives. 

We need to enjoy the journey, struggle, efforts, and preparations as much as we enjoy the destination. If we focus too much on the end product then we miss so much which is equally important and on which we spend more time than the end result. We need to recognize that failures, fear, anxiety, depression, stress, joy, and grief all are an integral part of our lives. These emotions are bound to come we need to recognize them and be conscious of our mental hygiene. We should give equal importance to our mental hygiene as we give it to our physical hygiene. All these things will help us to learn the art of happiness. But please remember, there is no universal formula to learn this art. Everyone has to find their own way, you can only decide what makes you happy or sad. You can only decide when you want to buy the house or what type of profession you want to choose, others can always help you to make these decisions, but the final decision should be yours and yours only. 

Learn to spend some time with yourself, and try to understand your own identity and value. We get too busy in our daily struggles. These struggles consume us so much that we don't get time to think about who we are and what we really want. If this post kindles a desire to search for your own path of happiness, then it has served its purpose. No matter how different that path is, how weird you think you are, this is your path. Take all help that you can, find people who love and support you, and find people who are willing to invest in your wellbeing, this all will help you to find your own path. We must try to spread love and compassion, this is a duty of every human as there is always a need for more love and compassion. Imagine a world where all are happy and no matter how impossible that task looks we can at least give it a shot. Let's try to make this world a happier place, and let's start by making happy ourselves first. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

We should also practice emotional hygiene

A few days back, I came across this amazing talk by Dr. Guy Winch on TED based on practicing emotional hygiene like we practice physical hygiene. I loved the way he presented this great idea of the need to practice emotional hygiene. We all pay a lot of attention to our physical hygiene, we try to keep our body and surroundings as clean as possible because we know that if we don't do this, then it might cause some kind of illness. But we rarely pay that much attention to our emotional hygiene. We all go through different types of emotions every day of our lives, some of them are good some of them are bad for us. Some of them make us happy and encourage us to do better but some of them make us sad and might affect us negatively. We all also consciously or unconsciously develop our own methods to deal with all these emotions that affect us. We all know that happiness and sadness are part of our lives, no feeling or situation is permanent but still, sometimes we struggle to deal with some negative thoughts and feel overwhelmed by some situations. A cluttered mind can always cause some problems and that is why I think the suggestions offered in Dr. Winch's talk are so relevant.

No matter what we do most of us can't avoid getting affected by different emotions, even while watching a movie or reading some book we get affected by situations presented in them and get emotionally attached to the characters of the story. Humans are emotional, actually, all animals are emotional to some extent but humans know how to display it in a much better way and that's why we get affected by it more than any other species around us. This is why it becomes extremely important to practice emotional hygiene. Lingering on with any emotion doesn't help. The only thing that is constant in life is change and we all know it but most of us struggle to practice this in real life. I have a very bad habit of thinking too much about small things and I am constantly working towards getting rid of this habit. I know it is not easy to get rid of some habits, but we must, especially if it is affecting our day-to-day behavior. I personally understand the importance of practicing emotional hygiene and that is why this talk impressed me so much. In this talk, Dr. Winch explains the importance of emotional hygiene by citing some examples from his own life that's why I encourage readers to listen to this talk. We all should understand that emotions are not going to go anywhere, they are going to be integral parts of our lives so we need to get better at dealing with all types of emotions. Many times, we have no control over the situations in life that we face (like the loss of some near and dear ones), but we can control the way we react to these situations and this is where our capacity to practice emotional hygiene comes into play. I know that it is not easy, but it is necessary. The wrong way of dealing with emotions can land us in serious psychological issues and they can affect our personal and professional lives considerably. So, it is better to be aware of these things rather than being ignorant and suffer without even knowing why are we suffering. I feel this talk will give people some insight into their own emotional health and being aware of emotional hygiene is better than not knowing about it. Please listen to this talk and start working on your emotional hygiene.

 Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. http://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene