The war from within - struggle of women to break internal barriers

I wrote quite a few posts about gender discrimination against women happening in various societies and cultures. This discrimination can be in many forms, it can be in the form of some rituals or customs, it can be in the form of some religious beliefs that put some restrictions on women just because of their gender, or it can be in the form of some laws which prohibits women from doing something just because they are women (like driving in Saudi Arabia). All these examples are just a few among many, if readers are interested they can find more information about these things on the web. Women all over the world are trying to fight against many of these discriminatory practices. They along with all feminist movements managed to achieve a lot of progress in this area but still, a lot of work needs to be done. When I wrote a few posts related to this subject I came across a few comments where women commented in favor of some of the very common prejudices against them (like women are inferior to men or less capable than men). All these women were educated and working women. I was a little surprised by this but not shocked because I have seen in my personal life many women who somehow believe that they are not as capable as men just because they are women. Years of male-dominated society and patriarchal culture have made them believe this. Many of them also believe that they need the support of some man in their life to be safe and survive in this world. Many also think that when you live in society, whether you like it or not you need to follow all these social norms. One of the norms of patriarchal society is that women are inferior to men and this thought is propagated directly or indirectly. The idea that women are born to serve men is propagated in various ways in different cultures. There are also many discriminative traditions or rituals. Even some stories that are part of great epics or holy books try to propagate these types of views either directly or indirectly. Social norms that encourage any form of discrimination either directly or indirectly should be challenged and questioned no matter from where they come and how old they are.

These views have been propagated for centuries and slowly they have become part of our society's mindset. Many people think that this is our culture and tradition. They think this needs to be preserved at any cost because these things were designed by our ancestors for the betterment of our society so why should we change them? The strong influence of this type of patriarchal culture has resulted in many internal barriers and self-doubts in women's minds. I would like to quote from the book Lean In where author Sheryl Sandberg writes about the barriers women face from within "In addition to the external barriers erected by society, women are hindered by barriers that exist within ourselves. We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in. We internalize the negative messages we get throughout our lives—the messages that say it’s wrong to be outspoken, aggressive, more powerful than men. We lower our own expectations of what we can achieve."

Years of brainwashing and suppression have created an element of self-doubt not only in the minds of many women but also in the minds of many other suppressed communities. These internal barriers created by self-doubt are not that easy to break as they are supported by traditions that reinforce them from generation to generation. Maybe there was a need for some of these traditions back then for the safety of women, but we live in a totally different world today and many of these barriers need to go. In today's world, every gender and section of society should be given equal opportunity to explore their potential. Why it's always a woman who has to choose between family and career? Why this unfair dilemma is only forced on them? As a society what are we doing so that women don't have to face this dilemma (most men don't face it, right)? Even though all these questions are relevant it is also true that first women need to overcome their own internal barriers. Society and culture's attitude is so hostile towards them, with these internal barriers they cannot expect any special favors from society. If they fail to break these barriers then it will be very difficult for them to break the external barriers set by society and culture. They first need to win the war from within to win this war against gender discrimination. Once they overcome internal barriers then it will be just a matter of time before they break external barriers.

I would like to end this post with another quote from the book Lean In, "Internal obstacles are rarely discussed and often underplayed. Throughout my life, I was told over and over about inequalities in the workplace and how hard it would be to have a career and a family. I rarely heard anything, however, about the ways I might hold myself back. These internal obstacles deserve a lot more attention, in part because they are under our own control. We can dismantle the hurdles in ourselves today. We can start this very moment."

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]