You will be fine

"You will be fine," is a simple and short sentence, but it can have a profound effect on your mental state if you hear these words at the right time. Many times, we go through a rough phase in our lives. We struggle or face challenges that seem difficult to overcome in our personal or professional lives. Some obstacles look too big to overcome. Some tasks look too onerous to finish. Sometimes we feel drained because of our efforts just to stay afloat. Sometimes we do not know whether we are moving in the right direction or not. Sometimes there is too much uncertainty in life, or we get overwhelmed by so many things on our plate. Under these situations, we really want someone to say "You will be fine."

One day I was walking to my work, sad and dejected because of the sad news of someone close passing away, having no clue about whether I would survive in a new field where I was trying to establish myself, in general feeling very low, and I read "you will be fine" written on a wall while my way to work. It really helped. I smiled after reading it, it instantly made me feel hopeful and optimistic. Someone saying that we will be fine is not going to reduce the intensity of our struggle or the difficulty of our challenges but it will have a positive effect on us. It makes us more optimistic that we can go through that phase successfully. My wife Reena is a great support for me, she is my eternal "you will be fine" person, as she believes that I can do anything and always encourages me to chase my dreams. Reena is not scared to walk with me on a path that is different than the path that others around us take. I really admire her courage and many times derive my strength from her support. I am lucky to have such a person around me. However, our loved ones can't be with us everywhere, sometimes you need some extra support from people around you,  and that's when such assurance from someone else can help. For me, it was the writing on a wall by some artist, for someone it can be a coworker, a friend, a book, a quote, or some other person. We all should try to be supportive of people around us as we do not know from what phase of life they are going. They might be feeling really low and that one encouraging gesture from us might be enough for them to gather the strength that they need to overcome that obstacle, to survive that vulnerable moment.

Stress and anxiety are an integral part of modern-day life, we all need to deal with it and many times solutions to the big problems are through small steps. If we can help each other by being genuinely supportive then why not do it. Remember, having a healthy atmosphere around us will also make us more happy and healthy, it will also motivate us and if one day we need some support we will have an ecosystem around us that is capable of offering that support. We all should try to build such an ecosystem and as we all know any good work should start with us. We should initiate by being supportive and encouraging. Please be supportive and encouraging. It is okay to push people and motivate them to do their best. It is okay to demand high standards and performance. At the same time, when people feel low, it is necessary to offer them support and motivation that can help them overcome failures, stress, and worries. Give it a try, believe me, you will be fine.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

Bhishma - The grand old man of Mahabharat

As I mentioned many times in my posts, Mahabharat is a very interesting story and I love all of its characters because I can relate to them very easily at various stages of my own life. Bhishma is one of the powerful and very important characters of this epic. I think he is the one who is present for most of the story of Kaurav and Pandav. His physical presence is the longest in the epic and he is considered as the grand old man of the family. But for me, his life looks like a big tragedy, full of contradictions and useless sacrifices. He made great sacrifices for his father, step-brothers, grandkids, and his family in general but most of them created many problems for him and his family. Even though the intentions behind all his actions were noble and honest most of them created tough situations and complicated his life even more.

Bhishma was the son of Ganga and Shantanu. Ganga takes a unique promise from Shantanu before marrying him that he won't oppose any of her actions even if he finds them wrong or unethical and the day he will question her she will leave him. She drowned their first seven kids into the river and Shantanu didn't say anything, but he couldn't stop himself at the time when Ganga was about to drown the eighth one and tried to stop her. He saved the kid and that was Bhishma or Devavrat but lost his wife. Ganga left Shantanu with Devavrat. He returned to his father as a well-trained young boy expert in martial arts, weapons, and politics. Devavrat's life takes a unique turn when his father falls in love with a fisherwoman (Satyavati) and desperately wants to marry her. That woman's father didn't agree to marriage and to solve this problem Devavrat stepped in. The major concern of Satyavati's father was that his grandkids (Satyavati's sons) wouldn't get to become king because Devavrat was the eldest son of Shantanu. To clear this confusion, Devavrat forfeited his claim to the throne. However, Satyavati's father was also concerned that Devavrat's kids might fight with his grandsons for the kingdom and to eliminate this possibility Devavrat took a vow of lifelong celibacy. To reward him for this great sacrifice his father gave him the boon of 'swechha mrityu' (that is control over his own death, he can choose the time of his death). From here his problems begin, he vowed not to have his own family but vowed to take care of his father's family and this kept him engaged throughout his life. His father died, and his brothers died but he remained there, to fulfill his vows. He became the slave of his own vows because of them many problems were created in his life and he suffered a lot.

Bishma's life was filled with many twists and turns, he didn't get married himself but had to bring brides for his step-brothers and their kids in that process even got cursed by Amba which ultimately became the reason for his death. He tried his best to stop the Kurukshetra war and didn't give up even after the war started. For the first ten days of the war, almost nothing special happened as long as Bhishma was commander-in-chief of the Kuru army. He thought that Duryodhan would realize his mistake and stop the war but his all attempts failed and the war continued against his wish. He had to watch the destruction of his own family and kingdom in front of his own eyes. He couldn't stop Draupadi's insult despite being the eldest member of the family. Many of his decisions which he thought were in the best interest of his family (most of which he took hastily or in a rage of emotions) like his vow of celibacy caused troubles for him and his future generations.

From the beginning Bhishma's life was marred by troubles and uncertainties, his mother wanted to kill him immediately after his birth but his father saved his life and since then his life has been a roller coaster ride. Bhishma's life and character are a unique example of a person who with all his talent and capabilities failed to create any positive impact. He didn't even die without pain, he was on a bed of arrows for several days before his death, one can imagine how painful that would have been. Even the boon of swechha mrityu proved to be a curse for him. What he achieved by taking his vows and fulfilling them is also a big question. He is a unique person who even with all his powers and talent felt helpless in most of the situations, but one of the good qualities in him was he never gave up. It's not easy to carry on with our duties and efforts when every time our actions backfire on us and result in something else than what we expected. Bhishma's actions and sacrifices didn't produce the desired result but still, he didn't lose hope. We all feel something like this at some point in our lives and his character teaches us never to give up. Bhishma never gave up his duties and tasks no matter what difficulties he faced. I think we all can learn this lesson from him.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)