Yes, WE all are guilty

She died, yes, finally, she died. I know that I don't have to mention her name, there is no need. We all know who. We all are mourning for her, and we all are sad for her. She was just 23 years old, one night, one incident, one bus ride changed her life. But she was not just another helpless girl who suffered tragic death at the hands of a few psychotic men in our society, she was representative of all women and kids who suffer sexual abuse every day. 

We all are directly or indirectly responsible for her death. Those six men were not alone when they were raping her, there was this age-old mindset that thinks that women don't have a choice to wear what they want. Their exposed bodies tempt men to lose control of their minds and give them the right to rape and abuse them. These dented and painted women don't even have the right to protest. They are prized possessions and we should cover them from head to toe to hide them from others' eyes so that they don't get stolen. They are objects of family and our personal honor. How come a woman can dare to challenge a man's authority, doesn't she know her limits? Many beliefs like these were with those six men, they helped them and fueled their lust and gore. They encouraged them to brutally rape and beat her. WHY? Because she was a woman who dared to resist, who dared to challenge their authority, who dared to hurt their male ego. She needed to be taught a lesson and based on what we see in our movies, in our society, the best way to punish a woman is to rape her and abuse her sexually. Even if she survives the assault the same associated with it kills her spirit and her honor. She will remember it for the rest of her life. Abusing a woman sexually is the ultimate victory for a man whose ego was hurt by that woman, it shows the power of his masculinity and ability to get revenge for his insult. After all, a man is not a man unless he is capable of sexually dominating a woman. These all are not lines from any misogynist book or some C-grade movie but thinking of our society, it is part of our belief system. 

Even today we have to have a debate on TV on issues whether women in cities should walk alone on the streets after dark. Whether they should wear makeup or clothes of their choice? Guilty is not only those men who committed this crime, definitely they deserve the strictest possible punishment, but guilty is also the system that produced them, and we all are part of that system. We can not escape the blame. Killing these six men won't stop this because many like them are waiting for their next prey. How many incidents of rape were reported even after this rape which was widely covered in all forms of media? Did we see any drop in the number of cases? Rape is not just a sexual act, it's an act of violence. We need to fight this mindset that looks at women in such a derogatory way. It won't be easy, because that evil resides in all of us in some form or other. It's not easy at all but unless we do this we will be standing at this juncture, again and again, looking in the mirror at the same image and wondering why these things happen. How to stop them? From where do these people come? Why do they do this? Every time the same questions, the same answers, and the same result. 

I wrote many posts related to the issue of women's suppression and the attitude of our society towards women. All religions are biased against women. All these things share the blame for all the prejudice that exists in people's minds against women and their sexuality. I am a feminist. All those who criticize feminism blindly without even making an effort to understand it must understand that feminism is not female chauvinism, it's a demand for equal treatment and equal rights, nothing more or nothing less. All these TV debates, blogs, protests, and discussions are definitely going to have some effect, we need all these resources and methods to solve these problems. We need to persist with our stand until we see some change, and we need to keep pushing for our demands until they get due consideration. Just hollow promises and diplomatic answers are not going to help. We heard these types of responses many times in the past and now they are not at all acceptable. Once any politician or public figure makes a misogynist statement then they should face the consequences, just withdrawing it and apologizing for it is not enough. 

In a country like India where scams of thousands of crores of rupees are becoming a regular event we don't have a well-equipped hospital where we can provide world-class care to our patients. We still have to airlift a patient in a very critical stage to a country much smaller than ours for better treatment. Who is answerable for this? What is the use of all economic boom and progress if we are not able to do anything substantial for the safety and health of our people? Let's bring some accountability into our day-to-day lives. We all need to be accountable for our actions. We need to ask questions and we need to keep on asking them until we get the right answers.

I have many things to say, but I am struggling to find the right words to express my feelings. I am feeling numb. I also wonder if this is going to help in any way? I am feeling sad, angry, and even slightly helpless but I am not going to give up this fight. People like me need to speak up, our opinion does matter, lawmakers can not ignore it, and we have to make sure that they listen to our voices. We all are guilty and our punishment is to stand and fight for justice and reforms so that we can protect many others like her from getting abused and murdered just for trying to live a normal life. We have to do this, there is no choice, just accepting our mistakes is not enough, things need to change, and we are the ones who need to bring that change. Please raise your voice, we kept quiet for too long.

Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic. 

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)

Thank you, Sachin, for everything

Sachin Tendulkar declared his retirement from one-day cricket on Sunday, December 23rd, 2012. This day marked the end of 23 years and a very successful career of the best batsman of one-day international cricket. Sachin's entry into the cricket world and his partial exit (he still intends to play in tests) can be called one of the major events in the modern era of cricket. He redefined excellence in both forms of cricket. His passion, commitment, hard work, and humility are something that everyone can learn from him. He is the one man who inspired the entire nation to dream big and to believe that they can achieve excellence if they are willing to work hard. He also taught us how to remain humble and down to earth even after being so successful. His retirement is not just another event in cricket history, it's the end of a glorious era, which every cricket lover who followed cricket for the last 20 years or so Indian or non-Indian will remember forever.

My cricket following days can be divided into two eras first was Kapil Dev's era till 1989 but unfortunately, I never got a chance to watch much cricket on TV at that time. I only read in the news or heard from people around me. Kapil is regarded as the best all-rounder India has ever produced and he was a real game-changer. The second and much longer era is Sachin's era. When he emerged as a 16-year-old young boy on the international cricket scene, everyone saw a glimpse of a genius cricketer in his batting style and temperament, but very few realized that time that this young man would rule the cricket world for more than two decades in both formats of cricket (one day and tests). No one ever did this for such a long time in the past and may not be able to do it in the future also. He inspired an entire generation of cricketers in India to believe in themselves. Cricket was already a passion in India he turned it into a big craze almost to madness. His popularity rose so much that if cricket is a religion then certainly Sachin is a God of cricket.

I grew up watching his batting and following Indian cricket just because of him. India never dominated international cricket like Australia or West Indies did but Sachin always kept our hopes alive, as long as he was there on the crease every Indian felt that any target was achievable, and India could win. This was the power of this one man. I have seen people switching their television sets after his wicket because they believed that there was no point in watching the match. People thought without Sachin India doesn't stand a chance to win the match. Whenever people inquire about the Indian batting score no matter how many wickets India lost they always ask "Abhi Sachin hai ki nahi" (whether Sachin is still batting or not?). This question sums up the expectation or belief people had in him because if Sachin is still batting then India has a chance, if he is out then it's all over. This situation changed after the entry of some other talented cricketers like Yuvraj, Sehvag, and  Dhoni, but for a long time, this was the situation. 

His retirement was expected but all his fans including me didn't expect that it would be so sudden. Like others, I also thought that he mistimed the announcement of his retirement because of the current social/political environment in India. There is a huge outcry among the public against the brutal gang rape of a young girl in the Indian capital New Delhi, and many people thought that announcement of Tendulkar's retirement in the middle of all these protests and struggles might dilute this movement and divert the attention of media and people from this very important issue. This is the same reason I also thought that he mistimed his retirement from ODIs but on second thought I realized that this might be the way he wanted to go, quietly, without creating any fuss. A very high-pressure series against India's arch-rivals Pakistan is coming up very soon and maybe he doesn't want to divert the attention of players and media from that series. For him, cricket is the most important thing in his life and maybe he wanted Indian cricket to move on without creating too much fuss about his retirement. Normally people believe that extraordinary people deserve extraordinary farewells and should take grand exit but maybe some greats like to leave the stage very quietly without creating much fuss.

I can go on and on writing about so many memories I have about Sachin's performances in one-day cricket which I enjoyed and all are still very fresh in my mind but rather than doing this I want to end my personal tribute for this greatest batsman one day cricket ever saw, one cricketer who developed a passion of cricket in me, one sportsman who made many movements in my life special just because of his talent and performance by quoting some lines from an article in Times magazine about Sachin,

"It seems while time was having his toll on every individual on the face of this planet, he excused one man.
Time stands frozen in front of Sachin Tendulkar.
We have had champions, we have had legends.
But we have never had another Sachin Tendulkar and we never will"

Thanks for reading.

Some more articles about Sachin:

1. Growing up with Sachin-Siddhartha Vaidyanathan

2. सचिनपर्वाला अर्धविराम- eSakal

3. Sorry Sachin haters, but this time it’s personal-Abhilasha Khaitan

4. The God Of Big Things- Time Magazine

References:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sachin_Tendulkar (statistics speak themselves about talent of this cricketer)
2. http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/content/player/35320.html

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)

Violence is not an option

One police constable (47-year-old Subhash Chand) who was said to be injured during the protests against the Delhi gang rape case died because of injuries he sustained during police action against these protests. This is very sad news, as sad as the rape case itself. One police officer who was performing his duty died at the hands of a mob that was trying to protest against the inability of their government to protect their citizens. Now whose fault it is? There are already photos on social media, and on the internet that show protesters, especially women protesters getting brutally attacked by police. Now, people might think posting these photos is an attempt to justify the attack of protesters on police but I don't think the matter is so straightforward here. The blame game in this case has already started. Police arrested a few youths in this case and Arvind Kejriwal came out to defend these youths saying that there is no proof against them. I hope that both these tragic events don't get politicized, and no one should use these events for political gain because the issue of the safety of the citizens of any city or country should be above any politics or political party. The constable is dead and something must have caused his death. They should find the real reason for his death, then find the criminals who committed this act and punish them. 

During many protests in India, the crowd tends to get violent because they can not control their anger, or get too emotional about the issue. This is a very common case in India. It's very easy to organize protests but very difficult to control the crowd. The most infamous incident like this happened in 1922 (pre-independent India) during the non-cooperation movement that Mahatma Gandhi started. The angry mob burned a police station in Chauri Chaura (a town in UP) after police firing. Records say that 48 people died (26 in police firing and 22 because of the burning of the police station, police firing happened first). Gandhi wanted this movement to be strictly non-violent so because of this incident he called this movement off. He received a lot of criticism for taking this step as many leaders felt that the non-cooperation movement was working very well and the violence was not started by protesters. Such incidents happen regularly, not always resulting in deaths but many times resulting in public property damages, disturbance in public life, and inconvenience to the general public. It's very strange that this all happens in a country like India achieved her freedom via a non-violent freedom struggle movement. 

So the question we need to ask here is, do these violent protests work? Do they produce the desired result? What good do they do for our country? Do they help in creating awareness about the issue or just help in spreading hatred and anger? The answer to all these questions is a big 'NO.' Violence only results in more violence nothing else, it spreads hatred and anger, and it spreads fear not peace. Our own freedom struggle movement has demonstrated the power of non-violent protests to us, so why we don't use the same method? How come we are losing faith in the same method that we used successfully to win our freedom from foreign regimes? People definitely have the right to express their anger against their government, and they have full right to protest and register their demands, but they absolutely don't have any right to disrupt public life which creates unnecessary inconvenience to many people, damage public property, or attack police for no reason. Violence is not an option in any democratic country. I hope that our government, the people who are protesting as well as the police department all understand this and act accordingly. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic.

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)

References:
1. http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/constable-injured-in-india-gate-protest-dies-in-hospital/article4237638.ece
2.  http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/policeman-death-no-evidence-against-arrested-youth-says-kejriwal/article4238310.ece
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chauri_Chaura

Is there any way to reduce rape and sexual abuse incidents?

The recent brutal rape case of a young girl in the Indian capital New Delhi has sparked huge debate and discussions in social media, the Indian parliament, and newspapers. People from various sections of society offered many suggestions about how to put a brake on these types of crimes, what type of punishment might help to prevent these types of incidents, and how to deal with the criminals who commit such heinous crimes. Suggestions cover a very wide spectrum. Some say capital punishment is the only right punishment for such crimes; some say hang them in public so that others won't dare to commit such crimes; some say no trial directly hang them or shoot them; some say castrate these males so that they won't be able to engage in any such acts in future even if they want to; some say women should be more careful with what they wear, where they go and how they conduct themselves. There are many suggestions like this. By just surfing the net and one can find many passionate posts that are very critical about India's law and order situation, politicians, government and blame them for this situation and crimes.

No doubt that it's the government's responsibility to protect its citizens from antisocial elements and make them feel safe to carry out their day-to-day activities without any fear. These types of incidents definitely shake the confidence of the residents in their government's ability to protect their interests. Unfortunately what we are seeing this time from the government's side is not very promising. They are trying to play the blame game. They are trying to suppress protests and are not willing to take any substantial steps toward finding a solution for these types of problems. This is very sad but this is what is happening. Another issue is as a society what are we doing to protect our people? How are we training women and men to tackle these types of issues? What do they think about each other? How women are projected in mainstream media and movies? How are they treated in their families? All these are very important questions and somehow directly or indirectly related to the question that why these types of crimes happen in our society?

Rape is not only about sex. If it is only a question of sexual desire then there are so many ways to satisfy that desire legally, without harming any person, or at least by using means which won't involve any violence. Then why do people choose this route? Rape does involve sexual acts but it's not a voluntary sexual encounter between two people. Sex is an integral part of love between adult couples but rape is pure violence, it involves violence, not sex. It's not only about lust or sexual desire but it's like hunting, damaging, or crushing a person physically and mentally. It's a very brutal act and that's why it demands very strict punishment. There is no age limit for rape victims they range from young kids to old women, it can happen in homes, bedrooms, moving buses, cars, and almost anywhere. It seems no place is a safe place nowadays.  The people who commit rape are definitely not normal people, for sure they have some psychological issues. They are not fit to roam in society freely, and they need treatment, as well as punishment.

I don't think capital punishment or hanging these rapists in public will reduce this crime. Already these types of punishments are practiced in some countries, and the situation of women is really pathetic in most of these countries. There is capital punishment for murder but that doesn't stop many from committing a murder. Rather this approach of capital punishment for all rapes might backfire and might increase incidents of  murder of rape victims. Many rapists kill their victims in the hope that they won't be caught because there won't be any evidence, so, I think that capital punishment may not be a very efficient way to stop this crime. Hanging rapists in public or torturing them in front of the public are very gruesome and inhuman acts for any democratic country and most probably these punishments will produce the same result as normal capital punishment. In most of sexual abuse cases, the offender is male or group of males (in case of gang rape), then why not make them incapable of committing this type of crime again and keep them imprisoned? We have modern medical techniques and methods available to do this, so why not use them? It will be a less gruesome and more effective punishment and there is a very high possibility that this fear of losing their so-called manhood might deter others from committing this crime.

Along with this punishment social and economic independence of women is very important. They should get equal respect and fair treatment in their own families. Boys and girls should be treated equally. Girls should not be considered soft targets for sexual abuse. We need to start sex education so young kids know what is proper and improper contact, what can be considered sexual harassment, and what is not. This type of education and training should be an integral part of the high school curriculum and this training should be mandatory at all workplaces. The solution to this problem is not so straightforward, the problem is very complicated so it should be tackled at multiple levels. We should utilize all the resources that we have in our hands to tackle this issue. It might take a long time but we should start working towards it as soon as possible. We already waited too long and should not delay any longer.

Let's start by changing our attitude towards women and let's start this change from ourselves, from our own families. If we can at least change our family's attitude then only we can dream of changing society or the whole world. The government also needs to step up, they have a very important role to play in this whole process. Lawmakers should show the courage to take the necessary steps to tackle these issues. Huge protests and widespread public outcry clearly show that people are fed up with just hollow words and fake promises they need some solid actions. People need a responsible and accountable administration that can respond to their demands and understand their needs and I don't think this is too much to ask from any government in any democratic country.

Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic.

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)  

Where was God when I was raped and murdered?

Recently, two tragic incidents happened one here in Connecticut and another in New Delhi, India, which caught a lot of media attention and there is huge unrest in public about both these tragedies. Along with protests and debates about why these types of incidents happen very frequently nowadays, there were many prayer meetings at temples, churches,  other religious centers, and even on the streets to express sympathy and support for victims and their families. People prayed to their respective God to save the victim who was struggling for her life (in the Delhi rape case) and to give courage to families who lost their loved ones (in the school shooting case). This is a regular pattern after tragedies or incidents like these be it 9/11, the 26/11 terrorist attack, or any bomb explosion, mass killing, or rape. People come together and pray but these incidents don't stop. It raises one question in my mind, where is God when people need him/her most? I am sure many of these victims must be wondering the same. Where was God when I was getting raped or murdered? Why he/she didn't come to help me? I know that many people have asked this question before and many people have tried to answer this question but none of those answers are convincing. I know putting blame on destiny or praying to God after any tragedy helps to deal with the loss. It helps to deal with death and the incidents that are out of our control, but apart from this what purpose do these gatherings serve? Are they like counseling sessions that help to deal with these tragedies psychologically and nothing more.

Many of these terrorist attacks are carried out in the name of God. In the name of protecting the religion from evil forces which these groups believe are trying to destroy their religion. Terrorists also pray to their Gods and get their blessings before going on these types of missions. They believe that their  God will help them to fulfill their missions and many times they are successful. So technically God does listen to their prayers at least in some cases. I am not talking only about any particular religion like Islam which is continuously targeted nowadays as a major cause for terrorism but other religions like Hinduism (Babri Mosque demolition and communal riots, etc.), Sikhism, Christianity, Buddhism, Communism were also engaged in many violent incidents all in the name of protecting their religion. Many innocent people suffer during all these missions and attacks. People suffer a lot of physical and mental trauma, many die or lose their loved ones and most of these victims pray to their God. Many of the victims are really devoted to their religion and God. All these victims who suffer and perpetrators who brutally commit the crime or carry on the attacks both belong to several different religions and believe in different faiths and Gods. God is present on both sides.

All these incidents (including the attacks and peace marches or prayers after those attacks) raise many questions in my mind. If it is really there then on which side God is? Where is God when all these victims suffer or get attacked for no fault? Why God doesn't help these victims when they are getting raped or getting murdered brutally? Why do these innocent kids get killed at the hands of some insane person? Why do helpless women get raped and brutally attacked? Is there any power that controls this universe and our lives or does this world work on itself?

Do people even think about these questions or they are too blinded by their faith and beliefs? I don't think God or any other superpower is responsible for any of these crimes or attacks. These all are human acts. People like us who commit these crimes and heroes who fight against these criminals or terrorists are again people like us. It's our job to step up, accept the responsibility, take charge, and work towards solving all these problems. All these issues and problems are created by people like us and we need to solve them ourselves, no one else is going to do this for us. So, if any God or any other superpower is not responsible for all these attacks or problems then does it make any sense to ask any help from them? Is it right to blame them or give any credit to them when we see clearly that it's not working and not providing us with any answers or solutions? This is the question that I want to put in front of you today, this is the topic on which I want you all to think today.

Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic.

Link for Speaking Tree post:
http://timesofindia.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-blogs/seekers/self-improvement/where-was-god-when-i-was-raped-and-murdered

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)  

My favorite scene from movie OMG

A few weeks back, I wrote a post about the movie Oh My God (OMG). I really liked this movie and watched it multiple times as I do with so many other movies which I like. There are many scenes that I like from this movie and I feel that they are really funny and at the same time, they comment directly or indirectly on current malpractices, superstitions and fears associated with almost all organized religions. The story of this movie is set in a Hindu family and mainly uses Hindu characters,. This is one of the reason why some people think that this movie was trying to insult, criticize, or make fun of Hindu culture or Gods while conveniently ignoring other cultures and faiths who also have many superstitions associated with them. I think this is the limitation of the medium it seld and not the film. The movie makers intend to comment on the general misuse of religion and the use of God to exploit people but due to time constraints and to add some entertainment value to the movie (after all it's a business and they have to recover their money), there are certain limitations on how much a movie like this can accommodate. Hence one should not see this movie as an attack on any particular religion or culture but should be taken as a general comment about several malpractices that are rampant among all organized religions today. 

The movie delivers a heavy blow on cult movements and all those so-called gurus who try to use people's emotions to sell their own ideas and beliefs in the name of religion and God. Nowhere in a movie script writer or director directly attack or question the existence of God. They only question the methods or the rituals which are used in the name of God. My favorite scene in the movie is towards the end of the movie where the main character Kanjibhai (Paresh Rawal) wants his family to meet with Lord Shrikrishna (Akshay Kumar). He wanted to show them that in spite of being an atheist, God himself came to visit him and helped him to come out of all his problems. By the time he takes his family to the spot where Krishna was with him just moments ago, Krishna disappears leaving that fancy key chain as a token that he used to rotate with his forefinger (like Sudarshan chakra). Kanjibhai realizes the futility of his efforts to show his family members that he indeed met with God. He collects that key chain and starts thinking of keeping it as a souvenir of God. While he is thinking about keeping that key chain with him, the voice in the background tells him to throw that key chain away and not to make the same mistake that many others did, that is, making different idols out of their own imaginations and turning them into God, forcing their own concept of God on others, worshiping idols or that invisible supreme entity rather than showing sympathy and love towards their fellow citizens. Kanjibhai realizes that this is against his principles and also against what he practiced as an atheist throughout his life. He throws away that key chain without any remorse and returns back to his normal life.

This scene delivers a very powerful message. Why search for God in temples, idols, churches, mosques, holy books, or any other place? Why not search for that power within ourselves? It also comments on how all these cult movements turn their founder into another deity and start worshiping him or her. All these leaders of various cult movements might have been very knowledgeable, they found something that gave them peace and happiness, tried to share that philosophy with people around them but their followers created a holy book out of their teachings and made them God and turned them into something divine. They started worshiping them and formed very exclusive groups with different names. In India we have so many of them, in every city, village, and town wherever you go you will find some Guru, Baba, Maharaj, or Prabhu who is being worshiped. This all sounds very crazy but many uneducated as well as educated people are actively involved in these types of movements. I hope that many more movies like this will come in future and try to comment on these type of superstitions in our society which may help us to come out of these cult movements. Movies like this and many documentaries related with this subject try to show us the mirror but only very few of us are willing to look at the image that they show. Most people like to live in denial mode and reject reality. Hopefully, this will initiate some change and we will move towards a more kind, loving, and accommodating world.

Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic.

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing) 

We should have zero tolerance for violence against women and kids

Two recent incidents in two different countries one here in Newtown, CT, USA,  and one in New Delhi back in my home country India, both incidents left me sad and disturbed. In the first incident, 20 innocent 1st graders lost their lives at the hands of some insane young kid who got access to guns easily and used them to execute this heinous crime. In a second, equally gruesome act six men gang-raped an innocent girl in a moving bus on the streets of the Indian capital New Delhi. The girl was not only gang raped but badly beaten with blunt objects and is battling for her life as I write this blog. 

Both these incidents raised many questions. First, are we failing to protect women and kids from the danger they face from such erratic behavior by some senseless individuals? Second, are our personal and political beliefs more important than our social responsibilities like protecting the lives of innocent civilians? There are many questions like these and I wrote my concerns about gun policy in the US in my last post related to the first incident (shooting inside a school in Newtown). Along with the gun law society's attitude towards mentally challenged people should be improved, and more resources should be made available to them to deal with their mental health. Problems like this don't have only one reason or solution. We have to look at all angles associated with it and try to act accordingly. If we fail to do this then incidents like this will keep on occurring again and again in some form or other and after every incident, we will engage in the same debates, the same deadlocks, and the same conclusion that something should be done, but no one knows what that 'something' is. These issues need to be discussed and debated openly. Only through proper discussion and consideration of all aspects we can expect to find any solution to these problems.

The second incident related to the gang rape is equally disturbing. It's also not the first case of this type of crime. New Delhi is on the verge of getting labeled as a 'rape city' of India where incidents of crime against women are becoming a regular event. It seems that statistically one rape case is reported every 14 hours in Delhi alone and we are only talking about reported cases here. After looking at these numbers it clearly seems that there is no fear about the law and punishment associated with rape or sexual harassment. They are pretty dam sure that they can run away from the law or if get caught they can escape using loopholes in law or after lengthy trials in Indian courts if at all they get convicted they can get away with very lenient punishment. All this is happening in a country that claims to respect women and worships female goddesses like Lakshmi, Sarasvati, Durga, and many others. In reality, our society has drifted away from even normal standards of treating women with dignity or equality. The country where female idols are worshiped is slowly becoming one of the most unsafe places for women, so ironic. 

Where did we mess it up? What is responsible for this scenario where female idols are worshiped but living females are humiliated and insulted on streets, in homes, and other places. The physical and mental trauma associated with any sexual abuse is terrible, and surprisingly in India, we don't have very strict laws to deal with these types of offenses. One can easily get bail in all cases related to sexual abuse. Very recently I saw an episode of the reality show KBC (Kaun Banega Crorepati) which Amitabh hosts on TV where they showed a victim of an acid attack, Sonali Mukherjee. Her story was horrible, but the brave lady survived that attack and is still fighting to get justice and the most horrible part was the culprits who committed that crime are roaming free in society (they are out on bail). This raises a few very serious questions about the way law and order machinery works in India. Why we don't have strict laws to punish these criminals? If we already have proper laws in place then why they are not followed in many cases? How these culprits can get away in many cases with very minor punishment (if at all they are convicted)? Why do victims have to wait for so many years to get justice in these types of cases? If there are loopholes in law then why can't lawmakers work towards removing them? In India parliament has amended the constitution so many times for so many reasons, isn't any form of violence against kids and women in strong enough reason for them to sit and discuss another amendment?

We as a people and society also have to think about this issue. When are we going to say enough is enough? In many of these cases, it was noticed that common people hesitate to offer any help. They just witness the crime as mute spectators. They think it's not their business to interfere. When are we going to change this mentality? Why common people are still scared to contact the police department? In cases dealing with child sexual abuse also situation is very pathetic. Very few cases of child sexual abuse that actually happen get reported to the police, very few of them manage to reach the court and only a small percentage of them result in actual conviction.

I received a very hard hitting post on my Facebook wall I am going to share it,

You stay silent when your mother is treated like shit by your father,
You stay silent when your friend takes dowry from his wife's family,
You stay silent when your classmates sits at a nukkad whistling 'maal' at passing women saying it is innocent fun.
You stay silent when a million women every year in this nation are murdered before birth or their breath dunked in milk before god after it, 
You don't report the drunkard husband who beat up your maid servant because it is not your business, 
You stayed silent when your boss hit upon a female colleague and you told her to grin and bear it because it happens everywhere, 
You sing along with your favorite male stars as they call their 'items' chikni chameli and halkat jawani etc., 
You stay silent when our police and paramilitary gang rape tribal and lower caste women and shove stones inside their rectum saying that that's an aberration of the system,
You did not protest the lower pay that your female colleagues got just because of their sex, 
You helped your parents arrange a marriage for your sister against her wishes saying she doesn't know her mind,
You stayed silent when in a family discussion a woman’s voice was silenced by the cacophony of male voices, 
You force a woman to wear burqa in the pretext of sharia law or justify their domesticity because some asshole called Manu wrote some asinine laws hundreds of years back, 
You think feminism is shit and feminist loud mouthed 'bitches' who have not better work to do than cry victim,
You applaud as Hindu right wing men barge into a hotel and slap ‘immoral’ women with the intention of ‘reforming’ their ‘maa’ ‘behen’
You stay silent when females in a party are sent away to discuss 'childish' things even as you discuss 'important' things like politics and all in their absence,
You stayed silent when your father directly and sarcastically showed your mother that she's lower then men in intelligence time and again,
You objected loudly when your girlfriend, wife wanted to put her life and career ahead of yours saying yours was more important,

And now suddenly you have become a man because ONE woman was brutally beaten and raped while you conveniently forget the hundreds of women whose psyche you were responsible for brutally beating and raping directly, or indirectly through your inaction... and now you evoke the same 'maa' and 'behen' argument to protect them... 

Thanks to the serpent of your awakened manhood, that woman in Delhi will perhaps get justice. But what about the millions of other women in the country of different religion, region and sect united by their shared injustice who will perhaps never get justice precisely for the same reason - your manhood?

This message is like a very tight slap on our faces. If this doesn't make us think then I don't know what will. Perpetrators of this particular crime and any such crimes should be punished severely so that people will think multiple times before engaging in any of such acts. We should have zero tolerance for any type of violence. We worship many Gods, and there are many religions out there that teach love and compassion towards our fellow humans but seldom it's practiced. Now it's time to practice all these teachings of love and respect in real life. Let's show the same compassion and love towards everyone around us that we show towards our loved and dear ones regardless of their gender, age, race, or nationality. Maybe one day we won't need any posts like this, any messages like this, and let's hope that day will come very soon.

Thanks for reading please share your views on this topic.

References:
1. http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/gangraped-in-moving-bus-girl-fights-for-life-in-delhi-hospital/article4208833.ece 
2. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2174288/Sonali-Mukherjee-Acid-attack-victim-pleads-justice-let-die.html
3. Story of child sexual abuse victim who bravely fought legal battle for six years to get justice,
http://www.thehindu.com/news/states/tamil-nadu/girl-gets-justice-after-a-longdrawn-struggle/article4216829.ece

Guns are not toys, they kill people

Today is a very sad day for people in the US. One more massacre. A mentally sick person armed with an automatic or semiautomatic assault weapon opened fire on unarmed innocent people, including young kids, at Sandy Hook Elementary School, Newtown CT, killing 20 kids and 7 adults including himself. This is not one isolated incident, similar incidents happened not that long ago, there was the Colorado theater shooting, the Virginia Tech massacre, and many more. In all these incidents one thing is common people with unstable states of mind get access to dangerous assault weapons very easily which they should not have gotten. Many innocent people got killed in all these incidents, it was not their fault they were just living their normal lives and it was cut short by some senseless violent act by some mentally unstable person. Yes, I know that we can not control anyone's mind, we can not predict anyone's behavior under stress or depression or any other mental trauma but we can definitely try to restrict their access to these assault weapons. These weapons multiply the danger associated with their unpredictable behavior.

Why do we need to sell automatic or semiautomatic assault weapons to the general public? Why do they need them? How can a right to carry dangerous weapons capable of mass murder be a fundamental right in a civilized society? Many questions like this need answers. I hope that this incident is not also brushed aside as one unfortunate incident where a few unlucky kids lost their lives, followed by condolence meetings, a lot of tears and prayers, a candle march, and then slowly people forget it until something like this happens again. All they are suggesting on TV is to pray. I know that this will help to tackle the grief associated with the tragic loss but any amount of prayers won't help to stop incidents like this. Any amount of prayers, condolences, candles, or flowers is not going to bring back those kids and adults who died in these massacres. They are gone for no fault of theirs. God didn't kill them, and people who survived were not saved by God. So, please don't ask God why this happened, rather ask lawmakers, people who are in charge of this country. They must have answers to these questions. WHY THIS HAPPENED? WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS? Please tell them to give some sensible answers this time. How many more people should die to make them realize that they need to modify the gun possession laws to save the lives of thousands of innocent unarmed people? A country where the sale of Marijuana is illegal but lethal assault weapons that can be used to kill hundreds of people can be purchased legally by almost anyone. Does this make any sense?

I know many people feel it's their fundamental right (awarded to them by their constitution) to carry a weapon of their choice. But why a civilized person living in a very civilized country would like to buy a semiautomatic or automatic assault weapon? Just for fun? Is it a toy? No, it's not a toy. Gun kills people, once a bullet is fired it doesn't care who is getting hit, kids, adults, or animals, it doesn't matter. Whether it was fired by mistake or purposely also doesn't matter, once the trigger is pressed the matter is not in anyone's hand. Do people want these weapons for personal protection? A semiautomatic rifle for personal protection? A weapon with so much destructive power for personal protection? Protection against who? That too in a country where the law and order situation is not bad and police respond very well. I think one can not justify possession of such a destructive weapon unless one is expected to get attacked by a mob or armed goons very frequently in their daily lives. I don't think people in any part of the US face these types of situations in their daily lives. 

This is not the time to have a gun debate or to play a blame game but this is definitely the time to take some action. We need some concrete steps to stop these types of incidents. Senseless acts of extreme violence are not new to humans but in today's world where we have so much control over our lives, we can definitely minimize risks associated with such type of senseless behaviors. Making the availability of assault weapons more difficult or impossible can be definitely one of the possible solutions to this problem. In many of these cases, the person who carried out this senseless act was found carrying multiple weapons as it's that easy to get them. We should do something to stop this easy access to dangerous weapons. Gun regulation may not be able to stop these types of acts altogether but it will definitely help to reduce them. Any step necessary towards saving innocent lives should be taken doesn't matter which party is ruling the country.

My heart goes out to all those families who lost their loved ones on Friday. We need to make sure that people with uncontrolled emotional behavior can not get access to lethal weapons so easily. We need to protect ourselves, and our children. Giving guns in everyone's hands is not a solution to protect our society. 

Thanks for reading and please raise your voice to express your concern about this issue.

Reference:
1. http://www.nhregister.com/articles/2012/12/14/news/doc50cb434cac3ab117605387.txt

Why are women not allowed to lit pyre during cremation?

Very few people are comfortable talking about death and issues related to it but this topic is not only related to death but mainly it's related with gender discrimination. It’s not that I am trying to link almost all topics on my blog with gender discrimination but many of these things are really closely related and understanding them in more detail might explain society's heavy prejudice towards women. 

Cremation is an extremely important religious ritual including for Hindus. It is an ancient custom among Hindus to cremate their dead. Hindus believe it releases an individual’s soul from its temporary physical body so it can be reborn. If this process is not done properly, then it is thought that the soul will be disturbed and won’t find its way to its proper place in the afterlife and come back to haunt living relatives, so it has huge significance. After a person dies (male or female doesn't matter), it is understood that the lighting of the funeral pyre will be led by the eldest son of the deceased, if he/she doesn’t have a son then grandson, and so on but it has to be some male adult or child from their family. 

One of the primary reasons that Hindus wish for a son is that only sons can carry out funeral rites which can give them mukti or moksha. It is possible to substitute another relative for a son but this is generally regarded as much less effective. Traditionally women have not been allowed at cremations because it is believed that they are emotionally not as strong as men and they might cry and cannot handle the emotional trauma associated with this act. Women are not even supposed to enter the cremation area or even watch what goes on inside it. This includes close women relatives and family members of the diseased person. They are allowed to help lay out the body at home and some other rituals but carrying the body, gathering the wood, and lighting the fire are all considered as man's work. One might wonder why was so, and is there any explanation for this or it is again a classic example of gender discrimination? It seems there is some explanation for this, we all know that during the early days of our civilization, the fire used to be started by rubbing sticks or stones against each other. Therefore, lighting any fire afresh used to be a difficult, time-consuming, and laborious task and required a lot of physical effort and energy. Maybe that is why women were not allowed to do this job because physically they are supposed to be weaker than men. This practice of a strong male (usually the eldest son) lighting the funeral pyre slowly grew into a custom, which over time became quite rigid almost like a law, and along with time too many superstitions also got attached to it. I think this is what led to the belief that the last rites for a parent or any person would not be acceptable to almighty God religiously unless the son or any other legal male heir had carried them out. This thinking puts more pressure on families to have sons while undermining the importance of daughters. Even many Hindi movies used to have this emotional dialogue where a person used to say to his/her son 'My son if you won’t be there then who will light my pyre?' (बेटा, अगर तू नहीं रहेगा तो मेरी चिता को आग कौन लगाएगा?). So, the prejudice remains even in movies and this belief is very strong.

So one can almost see a pattern in all these issues. Most of these customs and rituals are something that may have started because of unique situations and requirements of that time. They empower a particular gender (male) with a certain status and responsibility. Slowly they became rigid rules and a way to suppress the other gender (females). This needs to stop somewhere and I think our generation has the power and capability to do that. I am not saying that now make women light the pyre and kick men out, this is not my definition of women empowerment but what I am saying is give them an option. Give women equal treatment, and remove that prejudice and bias against them. It should be women's choice what to do but at least let them choose, allow them to say no, at least offer them that choice. I don't think it is too much to ask from our modern society.

  

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing) 

गीता अर्जुन को ही क्यों बताई गयी?

कुरुक्षेत्र मे मौजूद तमाम लोगों के बिच श्रीकृष्ण ने गिता बताने के लिए अर्जुन ही क्यों चुना? वहां पर कई वीर और विद्वान मौजूद थे तो अर्जुन ही क्यों?...

You tube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZIpEs4RXdE&feature=plcp

Worshiping while Menstruating - What's wrong with it?

Some cultures and traditions are very old, for thousands of years certain traditions have been in practice and people still follow them with a lot of devotion and belief. I am very proud of India's rich culture and traditions. There are many good things that one can learn from these traditions, but at the same time, there are certain rituals or traditions that need to change or should be abandoned altogether. Customs and rituals need to change with time. There is one custom where women and girls are not allowed to enter temples or take part in religious functions while menstruating (or during periods, the term is mostly used for menstruation). This tradition is still practiced in many families and many women also believe that they must follow this ritual. They feel guilty if they don't do this, such is the effect of this tradition. Every religion has put some restrictions on women while they are menstruating, so this is not related to any particular religion. Some forbid them from entering temples or mosques, some restrict their physical and social behavior, and different religions have different types of restrictions. There are many justifications for why these restrictions were introduced. Some of these explanations sound logical and must have been relevant to that era, but the strange part is even after so much progress in the area of sanitation and personal hygiene many people still practice these things. 

In Hinduism, menstruating women are not supposed to enter the temple because they are believed to be ‘unclean.’ Menstruating women are also supposed to keep away from sacred objects even in their own homes. According to the Old Testament of the Bible, menstruating women are unclean for seven days (Leviticus 12). A woman had to 'purify' herself after she finished menstruating until then anything that she touched would be considered as unclean (as would anyone who had touched her, or had been touched by a person who had been in contact with her). I have read somewhere that Buddhism has no menstrual restrictions at all (menstruation is just seen as a natural bodily process). However, some Buddhist temples do restrict menstruating women from entering them (probably because of the influence of Hinduism).

I spent most of my life in a Hindu neighborhood in India, women were not allowed to go to the temple, do poojas, or even offer prasad (offerings from temples). They were not allowed in churches or mosques during those days. In some very orthodox families, women were forbidden from even entering the kitchen during menstruating days. She had to depend on somebody even to take drinking water from a vessel as it was believed that her touch might pollute that water. The belief was so strong and rigid that it was beyond any rational or logic. Technically she was ostracized or quarantined. The effect of these beliefs is so strong that if any woman dares to challenge them every attempt is made to make her feel like a sinner. There are so many explanations and justifications for why this practice was started; some say it was because of hygiene (remember those were pre-sanitary pad days), and some say that in those days women's basic lifestyle required more physical effort and put more strain than today and this practice gave them much required physical rest. These explanations indeed sound very practical and valid for 'those days.' Maybe it was required back then, but why are we still practicing them even today? Today with sanitary napkins and other options very sophisticated and reliable methods of sanitation are available. Women are empowered and capable of making decisions about their own health and sanitation. So, why these things are still in practice?

The hold of these beliefs is so strong that many women still believe that there is something wrong with them during those days. They feel they are really polluted or dirty during that period and should not take part in any of these activities. I have seen my mother, and my wife practicing these things for years, and no matter how much I question them, how much I explain they are just too scared to break this religious dogma or superstition. Now after my continuous questioning at least they accept that this practice is wrong and should be discontinued but they are scared to do it. I already wrote one post related to the pure biological nature of pregnancy, similarly, menstruation is a purely biological process, there is nothing dirty, or sinful in it. Menstruation has nothing to do with any god or religion, it's just simple biology. 

Many people who believe in the supremacy of God don't even think about how a God can become unclean or polluted by the touch of a menstruating woman. Does this mean that a woman in her period has more power than their all-powerful God? Why any god should fear a menstruating woman? Womanhood is a gift from nature to females and they should cherish it and feel proud of it. Shame or guilt should not be associated with any gender's biological function. This practice of seclusion of women in this way due to some biological processes associated with their gender should stop. It is the duty of all of us together to put a full stop to such discriminatory practices. Let's show some courage to eradicate this practice, let's confront these things wherever we see them, and let's start this from our own homes. 

I understand that many times it's not fair to judge past societies with current social values and knowledge. Here, I am not trying to do this, rather I am questioning the beliefs of present societies that are based on past social or religious values. Because of these types of beliefs and superstitions, women already suffered enough. They are treated as inferiors or like a burden in many societies from the moment the fetus is known to be a female. I think the time has come to get rid of all these types of customs and rituals. We have come very far from those medieval times. As far as I am concerned I don't care what any religion or scripture says about this topic, if I see this type of prejudice and discrimination I voice my opinion strongly against it, and I question it. I know it may not change anything immediately but I do it anyway. Unless women themselves start questioning these types of beliefs we can't bring that change. I hope that more and more women will start doing it. I am sure we all can create a prejudice-free environment with our efforts and I am willing to do my bit. Are you with me?

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Links for further reading:
1. Culture and menstruation
2. When Religion made Women outcasts…
3. Millions of Indian women need URGENT support for safe menstruation. Kudos to Anshu Gupta for raising this issue.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]