Yes, WE all are guilty

She died, yes, finally, she died. I know that I don't have to mention her name, there is no need. We all know who. We all are mourning for her, and we all are sad for her. She was just 23 years old, one night, one incident, one bus ride changed her life. But she was not just another helpless girl who suffered tragic death at the hands of a few psychotic men in our society, she was representative of all women and kids who suffer sexual abuse every day. 

We all are directly or indirectly responsible for her death. Those six men were not alone when they were raping her, there was this age-old mindset that thinks that women don't have a choice to wear what they want. Their exposed bodies tempt men to lose control of their minds and give them the right to rape and abuse them. These dented and painted women don't even have the right to protest. They are prized possessions and we should cover them from head to toe to hide them from others' eyes so that they don't get stolen. They are objects of family and our personal honor. How come a woman can dare to challenge a man's authority, doesn't she know her limits? Many beliefs like these were with those six men, they helped them and fueled their lust and gore. They encouraged them to brutally rape and beat her. WHY? Because she was a woman who dared to resist, who dared to challenge their authority, who dared to hurt their male ego. She needed to be taught a lesson and based on what we see in our movies, in our society, the best way to punish a woman is to rape her and abuse her sexually. Even if she survives the assault the same associated with it kills her spirit and her honor. She will remember it for the rest of her life. Abusing a woman sexually is the ultimate victory for a man whose ego was hurt by that woman, it shows the power of his masculinity and ability to get revenge for his insult. After all, a man is not a man unless he is capable of sexually dominating a woman. These all are not lines from any misogynist book or some C-grade movie but thinking of our society, it is part of our belief system. 

Even today we have to have a debate on TV on issues whether women in cities should walk alone on the streets after dark. Whether they should wear makeup or clothes of their choice? Guilty is not only those men who committed this crime, definitely they deserve the strictest possible punishment, but guilty is also the system that produced them, and we all are part of that system. We can not escape the blame. Killing these six men won't stop this because many like them are waiting for their next prey. How many incidents of rape were reported even after this rape which was widely covered in all forms of media? Did we see any drop in the number of cases? Rape is not just a sexual act, it's an act of violence. We need to fight this mindset that looks at women in such a derogatory way. It won't be easy, because that evil resides in all of us in some form or other. It's not easy at all but unless we do this we will be standing at this juncture, again and again, looking in the mirror at the same image and wondering why these things happen. How to stop them? From where do these people come? Why do they do this? Every time the same questions, the same answers, and the same result. 

I wrote many posts related to the issue of women's suppression and the attitude of our society towards women. All religions are biased against women. All these things share the blame for all the prejudice that exists in people's minds against women and their sexuality. I am a feminist. All those who criticize feminism blindly without even making an effort to understand it must understand that feminism is not female chauvinism, it's a demand for equal treatment and equal rights, nothing more or nothing less. All these TV debates, blogs, protests, and discussions are definitely going to have some effect, we need all these resources and methods to solve these problems. We need to persist with our stand until we see some change, and we need to keep pushing for our demands until they get due consideration. Just hollow promises and diplomatic answers are not going to help. We heard these types of responses many times in the past and now they are not at all acceptable. Once any politician or public figure makes a misogynist statement then they should face the consequences, just withdrawing it and apologizing for it is not enough. 

In a country like India where scams of thousands of crores of rupees are becoming a regular event we don't have a well-equipped hospital where we can provide world-class care to our patients. We still have to airlift a patient in a very critical stage to a country much smaller than ours for better treatment. Who is answerable for this? What is the use of all economic boom and progress if we are not able to do anything substantial for the safety and health of our people? Let's bring some accountability into our day-to-day lives. We all need to be accountable for our actions. We need to ask questions and we need to keep on asking them until we get the right answers.

I have many things to say, but I am struggling to find the right words to express my feelings. I am feeling numb. I also wonder if this is going to help in any way? I am feeling sad, angry, and even slightly helpless but I am not going to give up this fight. People like me need to speak up, our opinion does matter, lawmakers can not ignore it, and we have to make sure that they listen to our voices. We all are guilty and our punishment is to stand and fight for justice and reforms so that we can protect many others like her from getting abused and murdered just for trying to live a normal life. We have to do this, there is no choice, just accepting our mistakes is not enough, things need to change, and we are the ones who need to bring that change. Please raise your voice, we kept quiet for too long.

Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic. 

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)