Subtle sexism and patriarchy

Sexism and patriarchy are widely debated issues, they are insidious forces that permeate our society, often operating under the radar and manifesting in seemingly innocuous ways. I have written a few posts related to these issues. We may want to believe that our generation has really started questioning these practices, but debates about these things have been going on for decades in some form. Also, one cannot deny the significant progress that has been made toward gender equality in the last few decades years. In many societies, the situation is much better than it was just a few years ago.  

Even after all this progress, there is a long way to go. Sexism and patriarchy now exist in a very subtle and nuanced way in many societies, including developed nations like the United States. Unlike overt forms of discrimination, which are easily identifiable and condemned, every form of discrimination now exists in its subtle form. Subtle forms of sexism and patriarchy are more difficult to recognize and address, yet their impact can be equally damaging. It is possible to be sexiest without being hostile towards women, it is possible to be sexist even if you have a mother, wife, and daughters, just having female relatives doesn't give anyone the right to downplay their sexist and misogynist behaviors. Subtle sexism refers to the subtle, often unconscious biases, stereotypes, and microaggressions that perpetuate gender inequality. It can manifest in various forms, such as the gender pay gap, double standards in behavior and appearance, or the underrepresentation of women and other genders in leadership positions. Subtle sexism praises women, but only in certain contexts or for certain qualities such as kindness, patience, or motherhood. It predefines and confines a gender only to traditional gender roles. Some examples are, men not washing their own dishes, the stereotype that women are bad drivers, the tag of gold digger only used for women, and assuming that a successful woman must have used some other means to reach there whereas a man in a similar position reached there just on merit. These are just a few examples to show how gender discrimination still exists but only has shifted its means and manners. It is now more subtle and nuanced. These subtle biases reinforce gender roles and norms, perpetuating inequality and limiting opportunities for women to fully participate and thrive in society. On one side women are encouraged to take on new challenges but on the other side, they are forced to continue with their traditional gender roles making them shoulder additional burdens. And when they struggle or fail questioning the ability of the entire class. Note that when a man fails, just that man fails, no one stands up and questions whether men are qualified to do that task. But when a woman fails, she carries a burden of their gender, as many stand up and question the ability of every woman to do that task. 

Gender discrimination, misogyny, and sexism are legacies of patriarchy. Patriarchy refers to a social system in which men hold primary power and dominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege, and control of property. While one may think that patriarchy is an outdated concept in today's progressive societies, its influence persists in subtle ways, shaping social structures, institutions, and cultural norms. On common example of the manifestation of patriarchy is the expectation that men should be assertive and dominant, while women should be nurturing and accommodating. Any man showing accomodating behaviors, especially towards women becomes a target of gossip and criticism even today. Patriarchy can also be seen in the disproportionate representation of men in positions of power and influence, such as corporate boardrooms, government offices, and media outlets. These subtle manifestations reinforce gender hierarchies and perpetuate inequality.

Addressing subtle sexism and patriarchy requires a collective effort to challenge ingrained biases, and sexist and misogynist cultural and religious practices, dismantle oppressive systems, and promote gender equality. This involves raising awareness of unconscious biases, advocating for policies that promote diversity and inclusion, and creating spaces where individuals of all genders, races, nationalities, or any other diversities can thrive and succeed on equal footing. We must recognize and confront subtle sexism and patriarchy, or for that matter any form of discrimination in all its forms. We must work towards building a more equitable and just society where everyone, regardless of gender or any other identity, has the opportunity to reach their full potential. It's a journey that requires ongoing reflection, education, and action to create meaningful chances. I am ready for this journey, are you ready?

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

My Nani and feminism

Patriarchy is a default setting for all of us. We all are born in patriarchy, it is the system that has been prevalent in all cultures, societies, and countries for centuries. Generations have lived and are still living in social constructs dictated by patriarchy and there is a strong social, cultural, and religious culture that propagates it in various ways. We don't have to do anything special to propagate patriarchy, it exists around us, and we all become part of it as that's the culture we inherit in all societies. Individual families sometimes may differ somewhat and try to get rid of some regressive patriarchal traditions, but even those families live in societies that are patriarchal. The patriarchal mindset has been challenged by the gender equality movement, also called feminism, but this battle is still in its initial stages and there is a long way to go. Feminism has challenged gender discrimination at every level and in this process, it has also affected the dynamics of male-female relationships.  

I am a proud feminist. There are many instances that guided my path to becoming a feminist, the life of my Nani (maternal grandmother) is one of the major forces that made me a feminist. I have written a blog about her, it was written as a response to the comments I received for another blog about some objectionable phrases from a famous Gita translation. My nani lived her entire life in a small village named Rajapur in Uttar Pradesh, the most populated state in India. As it was a common practice back then she got married at a very early age, child marriage was a norm and it still exists in India no matter what are the laws against it. She became a widow within a few years of her marriage. Her husband (my Nana) died in a tragic boat accident in the river Ganga, this happened immediately after the birth of my mom, hence my mom is the only child of my Nani. This one unfortunate incident changed her entire life, it made her life colorless and companionless. She was not allowed to wear a colorful saree or have any makeup or any jewelry that a married woman was allowed to wear. No one even bothered to think that she should be given a second chance to restart her life with someone else and enjoy the simple pleasures of life that any married woman around her was enjoying. Rather, the entire society was okay with depriving her of all the simple pleasures of human life at such a young age. Nani was a brave lady, she survived, lived her life with grit and dignity, she created her own identity and raised my mom with the help of the joint family. People respected her and took care of her needs like food, clothes, and shelter, but no one went beyond that. As a grandson, I received tremendous love and pampering from her, she used to treat me and my two younger brothers like kings. Whenever we visited her, she was happy and ran after us making sure that we didn't face any troubles, as long as we stayed with her her entire life revolved around us. I have a retreat in my life that I could not reciprocate her love, she passed away in 1991 when I was just a teenager. I wish she could have survived to see me graduate from college and especially get my PhD, whenever I think about this I feel sad that she didn't live to see any of this. However, her life did make me realize unfair and brutal religious, social, and cultural practices that only targeted women. It made me realize how women are purposely suppressed so that society can exploit them. It is true that in Hinduism there are many female deities like Durga, Lakshmi, and Sarasvati, but just because society worships female gods does not mean it also respects females and treats them as equals. Just because her husband died my Nani couldn't live the life of her choice, she was not offered any choice, her choices went away with my Nana's death, but her presence in my life made me a feminist to make sure at least no one in my family will face a similar fate. As long as there are traces of patriarchy in our society, we need feminism, as long as there is a single woman whose choices are taken away due to misogynist religious and cultural practices, we need feminism. My Nani unknowingly made me a feminist. I am a proud feminist, are you?  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Have you built your own door for an opportunity to knock on it?

There are many opportunity knock quotes. It seems opportunity knocks on everyone's door and we are not supposed to miss that chance to respond to that knock as sometimes the opportunity knocks only once. Whether any opportunity knocks once, twice, or multiple times, it is important to have a door on which an opportunity can knock, so, the first task is to build our own door first so that an opportunity can knock on that door. 

What do I mean by building a door for an opportunity to knock? Creating an opportunity often involves more than just waiting for it to appear - it requires initiative, creativity, resilience, hard work, and determination to carve out paths to create an opportunity that eventually leads to success. Building our own door for opportunity to knock is about taking proactive steps to create the circumstances that enable growth, boosting our morale to continue our efforts despite failures, and seeking fulfillment is our journey to success as sometimes the journey is long and full of uncertainty. Waiting passively for opportunities to present themselves may yield limited or no results. Instead, seizing control of our destiny by focusing on our own strengths and efforts involves seeking out opportunities. One way to achieve this is by leveraging our strengths and pursuing our passion with purpose and determination. It also required identifying our goals, assessing our skills and resources, improving on them as needed, and seeking strategic action to create pathways for progress. If we strive for continuous progress, success will eventually come. Building our own door for the opportunity also means stepping outside of our comfort zones, embracing uncertainty, and taking calculated risks in pursuit of our aspirations. It is not enough just to have aspirations and dreams, we need to strategically pursue them, otherwise, they always remain our dreams and aspirations. Active pursuit may involve networking, seeking mentorship, updating our skills, and acquiring new knowledge to position ourselves for success in our chosen field. It also requires resilience in the face of setbacks and failures, adaptability in response to changing circumstances, and perseverance. Building our own door for opportunity is also about fostering a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. Rather than waiting for opportunities to come to us, we should actively seek out ways to create value, make meaningful contributions, and establish ourselves as a force for positive change in our personal and professional lives. By being entrepreneurial in our efforts and embracing our creativity and determination, we can generate new opportunities and open doors that may have previously seemed closed. 

Building our own door for opportunity is a proactive approach to personal and professional growth. Rather than waiting we want to take the initiative. This approach empowers us to take ownership of our own destiny, helps us to overcome obstacles, encourages us to seek help and offer help to others, and forge our path to success. By embracing initiative, resilience, and a willingness to take calculated risks, we can create a future filled with endless possibilities for personal and professional growth, fulfillment, and achievements with standards and milestones decided by us and not someone else. So, don't wait for an opportunity to knock - build your own door and invite in. All the very best!

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com