Humans are social animals, we thrive in social environments. We love to live in groups, surrounded by those we form strong bonds with. We also look for someone to share our joy and happiness, that "special relationship." We often put so much expectation on that one "special relationship." Often, this special relationship is our romantic relationship and that person becomes a special person, and the entire burden of our expectations falls on that special person in our special relationship. We want that special person from our special relationship to laugh with us, laugh at our jokes, cry with us, understand us, have coffee, tea, or whatever other drink we like, agree with our social and political views, deal with our mood swings, and cheer us up whenever we are feeling down. But is it fair to place such high expectations on just one person to be our emotional support, confidante, motivator, and more?
Why limit ourselves to just one special relationship when we can have many? A special relationship with our mentors can provide valuable guidance for professional and personal growth. A special relationship with our friends who give us their time generously, create everlasting memories, and stand by us when we mess up. A special relationship with our buddies at the gym or our sports club who motivate us to push our physical limits. A special relationship in our neighborhood where we live and cultivate our home. A special relationship with our parents and siblings that are unique in their own dynamics and demands. The list can grow as each one of us may need our own set of special relationships depending on our personality and needs.
Why do we put all the burden of "specialness" on just one relationship? While a romantic relationship holds a significant place in our lives, and we do expect a lot from this relationship. It is not wrong to expect something extra from our romantic relationship. Many expect their partners to be a therapist, great friends, motivators, pillars of support, and also ever-romantic and charming person. Is this even humanly possible? No, it's unrealistic to expect one person to fulfill every role. Our romantic relationship is special, our partner is a very special person in our life, romance has its own special place, but so are friendships, mentorships, social and work relationships, intellectual relationships, and other relationships that make our lives exciting and fulfilling. Other special relationships are just as important and contribute to a fulfilling life. Our friend that loves our gossip is a special relationship, the intellectual group where we discuss our ideas and evaluate policies is a special relationship, our relationship with our parents is special, and our relationship with whatever we enjoy, cinema, music, or any other art form, is also a special one. Each of these relationships has different dynamics and different requirements, cherish them all and value them all. Please don't put the burden of everything on just one relationship. Also, remember every relationship is a two-way process, you need to give as much as you take to nurture any relationship. One way relationships are exploitative and don't last long, and if they last at all, they become toxic. So, let's cherish and value all our special relationships and continually evaluate if they are meeting our personal needs.
Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic.
© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com
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