Hate is politically potent currency that politicians use abundantly

Political polarization does not happen accidentally, it is a carefully planned and designed phenomenon by politicians who know for sure what are they doing. Hate is a very powerful emotion, it can shut rationality and logic, even for the most sophisticated minds, that is why it is a potent and valuable political currency and politicians use it abundantly. Politics is an intense and fiercely competitive field, that's why political battles are fought like wars with troops from opposite sides trying to defeat each other. However, there is one major difference between politics and other wars, in politics, the aim is to defeat your opponents' ideas or ideology, not to eliminate or kill them as individuals. Politics is all about the clash of ideologies and policies, it is not about people who convey those ideas. Yes, charismatic orators or personalities help to convey those ideas in a better way, but in the end, it's all about those ideas and not about the person expressing them. 

However, when ideas are not that strong, rather they are weak and full of objectionable motives, or the opposition also has equally good or even better ideas, then, hate helps. Hate is such a strong emotion that politicians are tempted to use it more often than any other emotion. It is used so often that many times, the hate itself becomes the agenda. It is easy to divide people between we versus they, nationals versus anti-nationals, pro-x versus anti-x, or any other division. Hateful propaganda reaps political dividends, and politicians enjoy success with the complete awareness that they are inflicting serious damage to their country or society. Political victories are addictive to politicians as well as their supporters, these victories not only give a sense of ideological triumph but also act as a validation of their tactics. It creates a perception that hate is justified because it is validated through a ballot box. 

When hate is mixed in politics with any ideology, the opponent does not remain only a political rival but becomes an enemy of the nation and society, worthy of exodus, all this just because of a political disagreement. However, people engaged in all this forget that hate is like fire, it burns indiscriminately after a certain point. A hateful campaign may reap political dividends in the short term, but the hateful society it creates always remains at a flashpoint. Once politicians legitimize hate and violence directly or indirectly it becomes an accepted method to resolve any conflict. People start using violence or spewing hate wherever they feel there is some conflict, and this cannot be controlled even by the same politicians who used hatred to come into power. Hateful societies can never be a healthy place to live as they become exclusive, they cannot allow flourishing for all types of talent, as there will be always a violent reaction to disagreements.   

The current trend of political polarization and making almost each and every debatable issue a politically sensitive topic is a new popular trend in world politics. People who participate in these campaigns are equally responsible along with the politicians that instigate them. After all, politicians get elected on votes, and if people support hate, politicians are shamelessly going to use it for electoral victories. The situation is getting so bad that there is no even pretense, hate is visible and felt during many political campaigns across the world, and may seem to be okay with this. These are testing times for humanity and everyone who thinks that diversity of opinion is necessary, minority opinion is valuable even when they are wrong, every voice needs to be heard and given space, and decent needs to be protected. Let's see who wins, hate and exclusiveness or love and inclusiveness.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Fear of being judged

Fear of being judged is a real fear among individuals. We fear being judged based on various parameters, some examples are being judged based on our gender, age, religion, nationality, education, job, sexual orientation, political views, marital or familial status. Getting judged based on our parenting or the way our kids perform is one of them. 

A survey of parents revealed that about 90% of mothers and 85% of fathers feel judged, and almost half of them feel judged all the time by people they know and even by complete strangers. This fear makes them try various things so that they can overcome feelings of their own insecurities and avoid being labeled as irresponsible parenting. Tiger parenting, free-range parenting, liberal parenting, conservative parenting, and whatnot, parents look in every direction and source to find some tips to raise successful kids. They all intend that their kids will become successful and be happy. However, in this process, parents don't realize that they are engineering the life of their child as per their own wishes and inclinations, they are shaping their child's thinking, even dictating choices based on their own prejudices, and for a considerable time, that child has no say in his or her own life. Parenting is complex, and these aspects make it more complex and confusing, this is one of the reasons why most parents choose the prescribed or most popular format, at least that format guarantees a certain outcome in most cases, a so-called successful child, who is going to have standard education and a well-paying job. 

So, how to deal with the fear of being judged? Well, you can't stop people from judging you, but you can stop your actions from being influenced by the fear of that judgment. It's not easy and in practice, no one accepts that their actions are influenced by what others will say, but in reality, they are. When in any society most people follow a certain pattern, it establishes certain norms. One can sense that these norms are based on the way certain behavior, let's call it a confirmative behavior, is rewarded and praised, and other behaviors not fitting in the set pattern, a non-confirmative behavior, is criticized or called a risky behavior. It is really up to individual parents how they want to parent their children. Every child is different, even between two siblings one cannot expect the same behavior even after being raised in the same household with the same parents, it is that uncertain, but as parents, we want to bring certainty as it comforts us. However, parents' desire to play safe, or have a certain outcome has resulted in homes becoming factories for raising standardized kids, who conform to their parent's desires and choices. Legally child labor is banned, but now school work and extracurricular activities have become a legal form of child labor, kids are forced to do these things to an extent their parents want them to do, it really doesn't matter whether the kids want or not. Therefore, it's really up to parents to notice what they are doing as kids have very little say in all this, there are risks associated with every parenting style as nothing guarantees the desired outcome, but at least parents can choose not to be a dictator but be a facilitator. Let's be a facilitator as much as we can because no matter how good, dictatorship is after all a dictatorship with no freedom for a non-dictating party and our kids do deserve the freedom to be themselves, not our own shadows or not what we can't become but wanted to become.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Social paradigms of settlement

We all hear well-intentioned advice from people around us to "get settled" in life. Different societies and cultures have developed different social paradigms for what they mean by getting settled in life. One can find a few common things among all these social paradigms of settlement, for example, getting a degree, finding a decent-paying job, getting married, buying a house, having kids, and then trying to repeat the entire cycle in your kid's life. There may be some very good reasons why these indicators are being included in the socially accepted meaning of "settlement," maybe there was a good intention behind creating this standard format and maybe most subscribe to and like this structure. However, there is a negative side to all this. These definitions also have created pressure on individuals, sometimes, it is entrapment, anyone who does not subscribe to these standards is considered a misfit, abnormal, or even a failure. 

Theoretically, most agree that every individual has the right to choose the way they want to live their life, but in reality, very few work towards creating such an environment. Most start dictating their kid's life from a very early age, the fear of insecurity or missing out is so much in parents of every generation, and more so today, that parents send their kids to every possible training or coaching here they feel it will help that child to beat the competition. The poor kids have no choice but to live the life that their parents plan for them, no doubt, this all is done by good intentions, but the good intentions do not mitigate the harm. The result of all this is that most knowingly or unknowingly subscribe to these ideas, they try to fit in. Things like chasing your dreams, and pursuing your passion are thrown randomly when the reality is that most don't even know what is their passion or what are their dreams. 

How easy to defy these social paradigms of settlement and create your own? It is not easy, but it is not impossible. Based on our needs and inclinations we need to charter our path, but first, we need to learn to identify our inclinations based on our own understanding. We indeed develop our understanding based on what we learn from our surroundings, so, it is natural to be influenced by the environment around us. Also, it is not easy to make decisions that don't fit in the generally accepted social paradigm, for example, if you don't get married or buy a house after a certain age dictated by these paradigms you are bound to face relentless questioning, and intrusion of our personal boundaries by people around us and many can't stand that pressure or scrutiny. It is also true that not everyone needs to defy these standards or raise a rebellious flag against each and every norm, but if it doesn't suit you, please don't hesitate to defy them, no matter how old or how well-intentioned they may be. Creating our own path is tough and risky but a worthy endeavor, if we succeed we show that there is an alternative way, if we fail, we at least have the satisfaction that we tried rather than surrendering to something that was not for us. Subscribe to social paradigms of settlement if you want, if they suit you, good, if they don't, then defy them and create your own, charter your own path, no matter how different it is, it will be your own path. Enjoy the journey and don't worry about the destination, no matter what it is, the journey will be amazing and unique, for sure. Good luck.

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Happy New Year

Celebrations for a new year have become a universal phenomenon, they are like a worldwide birthday celebration. Change of a year is no more a mere calendar page change or change of one date to another, it is more like entering into a new phase of life, we allowed this incident to gain that status to this event. People make New Year's resolutions and many wait for the new year to start something important and new. 

Wishing all my readers a happy and successful new year. Don't forget to celebrate your achievements so far and get ready for new challenges. A new year is about a new beginning and anything new may come with a lot of surprises, good as well as bad. We need to be ready to deal with all. 

Stay happy and stay focused, spread the love and get love in return, and don't get bogged down by the negativity some try to spread. Happy New Year and happy reading.