Social paradigms of settlement

We all hear well-intentioned advice from people around us to "get settled" in life. Different societies and cultures have developed different social paradigms for what they mean by getting settled in life. One can find a few common things among all these social paradigms of settlement, for example, getting a degree, finding a decent-paying job, getting married, buying a house, having kids, and then trying to repeat the entire cycle in your kid's life. There may be some very good reasons why these indicators are being included in the socially accepted meaning of "settlement," maybe there was a good intention behind creating this standard format and maybe most subscribe to and like this structure. However, there is a negative side to all this. These definitions also have created pressure on individuals, sometimes, it is entrapment, anyone who does not subscribe to these standards is considered a misfit, abnormal, or even a failure. 

Theoretically, most agree that every individual has the right to choose the way they want to live their life, but in reality, very few work towards creating such an environment. Most start dictating their kid's life from a very early age, the fear of insecurity or missing out is so much in parents of every generation, and more so today, that parents send their kids to every possible training or coaching here they feel it will help that child to beat the competition. The poor kids have no choice but to live the life that their parents plan for them, no doubt, this all is done by good intentions, but the good intentions do not mitigate the harm. The result of all this is that most knowingly or unknowingly subscribe to these ideas, they try to fit in. Things like chasing your dreams, and pursuing your passion are thrown randomly when the reality is that most don't even know what is their passion or what are their dreams. 

How easy to defy these social paradigms of settlement and create your own? It is not easy, but it is not impossible. Based on our needs and inclinations we need to charter our path, but first, we need to learn to identify our inclinations based on our own understanding. We indeed develop our understanding based on what we learn from our surroundings, so, it is natural to be influenced by the environment around us. Also, it is not easy to make decisions that don't fit in the generally accepted social paradigm, for example, if you don't get married or buy a house after a certain age dictated by these paradigms you are bound to face relentless questioning, and intrusion of our personal boundaries by people around us and many can't stand that pressure or scrutiny. It is also true that not everyone needs to defy these standards or raise a rebellious flag against each and every norm, but if it doesn't suit you, please don't hesitate to defy them, no matter how old or how well-intentioned they may be. Creating our own path is tough and risky but a worthy endeavor, if we succeed we show that there is an alternative way, if we fail, we at least have the satisfaction that we tried rather than surrendering to something that was not for us. Subscribe to social paradigms of settlement if you want, if they suit you, good, if they don't, then defy them and create your own, charter your own path, no matter how different it is, it will be your own path. Enjoy the journey and don't worry about the destination, no matter what it is, the journey will be amazing and unique, for sure. Good luck.

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