Marital rape is also a RAPE - these victims also need justice

While listening to a discussion on NDTV about the criminalization of marital rape, I was appalled to listen to the stories of two women who had suffered tremendous physical and mental torture at the hands of their so-called husbands. The worst part is that sexual abuse within marriage is not a criminal offense. Only the cruelty involved in it can be challenged in court. So, nonconsensual marital sex (marital rape) cannot be challenged, but if there is some physical abuse or torture then it can be challenged in court. So, rapes happening in the bedrooms of married couples are not considered a criminal offense, rather, it is considered an internal matter between husband and wife, they need to sort it out among themselves together or with the help of someone else but not the court. This might sound stupid, ironical, backward, and highly patriarchal but this is what it is, and many men and women have to deal with this legal sexual abuse and exploitation. So, if a husband forces his wife to have sex with him against her will (or vice versa) it is not considered rape, because society as well as the current law thinks that in a sacred marriage, the husband, as a man, has the right to demand sexual services from his wife, and she must provide it willingly or unwillingly. Marriage is considered sacred or holy in many societies and India is also one of them, so, everything associated with it also becomes sacred and holy, even rape, therefore, marital rape is not a criminal offense as it is sacred. What an amazing logic our lawmakers have to justify this nonsense. I think we should be happy that at least the cruelty is criminalized. These abusive partners can be booked at least for physical abuse even though conveniently sexual abuse is excluded. Surprisingly this is all happening even after the presence of staggering data to prove that marital rapes are very common. The strange thing is that no one is even denying that they don't happen, but we just can't criminalize it because it is part of the sacred marriage system.

Many people also argue that if we criminalize marital rape then that law can be misused like anti-dowry law. This objection is reasonable, as there are many cases where anti-dowry law has been misused to trouble and torture families for a variety of reasons. However, this is true with any other law, almost every law is being misused. Even well-intended laws like the Protection of civil rights act, defamation act, and Harijan Act are also misused by many people for selfish purposes. Also, many policies like reservation are misused by many people, but this doesn't mean that we should not have any laws or policies to tackle problems like dowry, social justice, or rape. The data also shows that these laws and policies also benefited many people who would not have gotten justice in the absence of such laws. So, there is no doubt that these laws had a positive effect on our societies, but at the same time, more work is needed to stop their misuse. Getting rid of them completely is not an option. Marriage does not mean that a person has the right to exploit their partner sexually, there should be freedom to say yes and no like we have in any other relationship. Marriage is a human-made institution, there is nothing sacred or holy in it. It is a legal bond between two people that can be terminated by law. Forceful sexual act against any person's consent is a rape no matter if it is within or outside the realm of marriage. 

Abuse, injustice, or suppression in the name of culture, tradition, or religion is not new in our society. Our civilization has witnessed various autocracies committed under these names for ages and the same thing is happening even today. This is why statements like "marriage is sacred in India, so marital rape does not apply in India" are being made. They show the patriarchal mindset of society, the mindset that assumes that demanding sex within marriage is the right of a man, and if he doesn't get it then he has the right to forcefully get it. 

I am glad to see that these things are at least being discussed in Indian society. Marriage is not a license for nonconsensual sex. Sex is indeed an important part of married life but rape is not part of it. If partners are not happy with their sexual life then they should go for counseling or get separated if they can not match each other's expectations. As women will get more empowered in society they are bound to demand fair treatment from the law and marital rape will be criminalized today or tomorrow. This lame justification of marriages being made in heaven or being sacred won't stand its ground for long, whatever is criminal is criminal no matter who does it, rape is rape whether in a bedroom of a married couple or on the bus it doesn't matter. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. Marriage Sacred in India, So 'Marital Rape' Does Not Apply: Government
2. Marital Rape: Eyes Wide Shut?