Bollywood songs and the culture of sexual harassment

Songs are an integral part of Hindi cinema (or Bollywood as it is popularly known all over the world now). As a kid and teenager, the only sources of entertainment for me were Hindi/Marathi cinema and the Indian government TV channel Doordarshan. Like any other generation, the life of my generation was also heavily influenced by the contents of the entertainment that we consumed. In one of the episodes of Amir Khan's show "Satyamev Jayate" and also my daughter Sara pointed out that many Bollywood songs openly encourage the culture of sexual harassment. This was a bitter pill to swallow as I love many Hindi movie songs as I grew up listening to them, but when I look back I have to agree that many of these songs propagated sexual harassment. In almost every movie, the main protagonist of the movie (the Hero) used to chase the leading lady (the Heroine), harass her, and stalk her until she eventually fell in love with her. Also, there used to be another person who did more or less the same acts, but without any success and that character used to be a villain, some villains used to take an extreme step of raping the heroine to punish her for rejecting their advances. So, this was the general path to conquer love which we used to watch in almost every movie. Hero's harassment was considered as "love" as eventually his target of harassment used to fall in love with him, but the same acts of the villain were not OK, as he did not get the heroine, but both performed the same acts, one succeeded and another failed. As an audience, we used to know who was the hero and who was the villain as actors were typecasted in these roles. 

Generations got their "how to win love" lessons from these movies and their songs which were extremely popular.  Many songs of the sixties are still popular, their lyrics and music are great and I love many of those songs, but if I watch them now I can see why generations who grew up watching these songs did think that harassing a woman is OK. Everyone who watched those movies knew that the hero succeeds and the villain ultimately fails, but in real life who wants to think that they are villains, everyone used to believe that the girl they like is their heroine, they are her hero, and eventually they can win her by using the same tactics which the hero employed in movies. This propagated the culture of sexual harassment which continues even today. Boys were taught that they need to be aggressive and persistent without being bothered by the girl's response, to the extent that the girl has no option but to accept their so-called love. Girls were taught to say no and not to express their feelings even if they liked the boy and be tolerate such harassment as a part of being a girl (For example, watch this superhit song, mana janab ne pukara nahi, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT3WKSb1q_Q). There is nothing wrong with the lyrics of the song, and that's the beauty of these songs, their lyrics are not at all offensive, but the way they are picturized is where the real problem lies.

I must provide some other relevant examples to prove my point because one random example is not enough. Dev Anand was known as a chocolate hero, a very cute and mild-mannered love boy, and an evergreen hero. Many of his songs and movies are still popular, below is one of his super hit songs "hai apana dil to awara." 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4FC7hlqsZQ

In this song watch, how the hero (Dev Anand) tries to make the heroine (Waheeda Rehman) feel uncomfortable in a public place. Also, how the public reacts to Dev's acts even though they see that the girl he is trying to impress is feeling uncomfortable they do nothing about this but watch him with awe and admiration. This movie is from 1958. There is no physical harassment in this, but readers can imagine things getting worse from here. Check this 1967 movie, An Evening in Paris, another super hit song, "akele akele kaha jaa rahe ho," and superhit romantic hero Shammi Kapoor. The heroine, Sharmila Tagore, is actually trying to avoid both him and the villain, please let me know if anyone thinks this is not harassment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeWoNv2JMiY

There are many songs like these, I can make a comprehensive list, but providing such a list is not the aim of the post. I have seen the effect of these songs and felt it myself. I agree with Sara that these songs do teach that harassing girls to win their love is okay, I cannot imagine the problems girls were forced to deal with all these heroes who were harassing them while imagining themselves as some Bollywood hero set to pursue the love of their life. I am glad that finally, Amir Khan acknowledged this problem and hopefully the Indian movie industry will take steps to address this issue. I do understand that movies are meant for entertainment and should be taken only as entertainment, not as a moral teaching tool, but if they teach something so persistently, it is bound to have an effect on society. 

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

Me Too - easy to mock, but difficult to understand

Sexual harassment is a serious issue. This is a widespread problem in each and every country around the world. It would be really naive to assume that it is more prevalent in developed countries where women participate more in the workforce compared to developing or undeveloped countries. Also, this problem is more prevalent than one can imagine. We underestimate it because traditionally many behaviors were not recognized as harassing, for many centuries societies around the world ignored such harassing behaviors or accepted them under some lame justifications like "boys will be boys."  Patriarchy and chauvinism not only sheltered such behavior but also legitimized it and generations were raised believing that this was a part of social male-female interaction in a male-dominated society.  Now, before anyone points it out, let me make it clear that this is not a gender-specific problem, men also get sexually harassed, but women are at the receiving end of this type of harassment in disproportionately high numbers and one can confirm this by checking the data.

When the "Me Too" movement started and many women started openly talking about the sexual harassment they faced, societies got rattled. It was totally unexpected and not a very comfortable situation for them to see the elephant in the room being addressed so openly and directly. I am sure most women knew that this problem existed but somehow we accepted it as a part of the day-to-day ordeal of being a woman. Many famous and not-so-famous people got exposed for their predatory and harassing behavior, this is how it caught the media's attention. The "Me Too" movement became viral on the internet and was in the news all over the world. Now, like any other movement, some will try to misuse it, but this problem is not unique to Me Too, that's the nature of our society. Any law or popular movement is always misused by a few people, and I don't think Me Too will be an exception. Misuse by a few people cannot be a reason to question the legitimacy of any social transformation. But the way this movement got ridiculed from its start, especially in India was not a very good sign. I was tired of reading so many messages on WhatsApp making fun of Me Too and questioning the motives of women who chose to come forward with these allegations. The messages were so many that it was not easy to ignore them, for a few weeks it seemed like it became a favorite time pass on WhatsApp, especially for men. 

First of all, it takes immense courage to share any such thing publicly knowing that nothing might come out of this except ridicule, humiliation, and character assassination. Second, the kind of publicity you get after coming out is not always desirable, one can look at the way most of the victims were treated. Would any of us like to be in that situation? And lastly, for all people who ask the question, why now? Why not when it happened? Please try to understand the vulnerability, and social and personal situation of the victim before passing any judgments. Many harassment or discrimination incidents are exposed much later than the time when they actually happen. The main reason for this is that normally the victims are suppressed and not in a position to raise their voices when they face such incidents, they fear serious repercussions for their personal and professional lives and prefer to keep quiet. Normally the victim and their harasser have disproportionately different professional standings and harassers take advantage of it. This is not a failure to report by the victim but as a society, it is our failure to provide them with an atmosphere where they feel comfortable in reporting such incidents. 

I just have one request, before being judgemental about any victim of any harassment or discrimination please try to understand their situation at the time the incident happened with them. If you can, I am sure you will be empathetic towards their plight and offer them all the support and help they need. At the same time, we must acknowledge that it is everyone's right to express their opinion, no matter what it is. No one should be penalized just for expressing their opinion no matter how offensive we might feel that opinion is. It is important to offer criticism whenever we see anyone misusing any movement or law, this is necessary to keep the legitimacy of such social movements intact. Mocking any social movement like Me Too without understanding it is very easy, the difficult part is to try to understand the intricacies of such a movement and relate to the victim's plight. The choice is always ours.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

Women's march done - Now, what next?

Last week, there were quite a few protests that created a lot of buzz on social media as well as in mainstream media. Depending on their liberal or conservative inclination various media houses either reported these events aggressively or totally ignored them as if they didn't happen. I was a little confused about the protests on the day of Mr. Trump's inauguration. He won a democratically contested election, the same system of the electoral college which declared Mr. Bush, Mr. Obama, and all other previous Presidents winners declared him the next President of the USA, people need to acknowledge it and accept the reality. This is the beauty of democracy, it would be hypocrisy to praise the democratic process only when it works in your favor. The Constitution gave Mr. Trump the right to contest the election and he won it, he has a constitutional right to serve as the President of the USA. I didn't understand the main intention behind the protest on inauguration day. If it was just to oppose Mr. Trump's victory because some people didn't like him personally then it sets a dangerous precedence for everyone. Oppose his policies if you don't agree, challenge his decisions if you feel they are wrong, criticize his statements, and demand an apology, but don't try to question his rights. It is dangerous to question someone's fundamental rights because tomorrow someone might question your rights also.

But, I do understand the intentions behind the women's march. Some of the comments made by Mr. Trump about women are derogatory, his so-called locker room talk was disgusting. The excuses and the apology offered by him for some of these things are lame and inadequate. So, the women's march had a valid reason. It was good to see so many women coming together and marching to protect their rights and challenge misogynist views. The culture of patriarchy still exists in some form or other in all parts of the world and the USA is not an exception. It shows its ugly face in the form of sexist jokes, discriminatory rants, prejudiced statements, or so-called locker room talks. Such things need to be challenged. Many people might feel that this is a very hypersensitive reaction, or protestors are cherry-picking things just for the sake of making a big deal out of nothing. But, the truth is that things like patriarchy are so deeply rooted in the psyche of our culture that it will need a lot of mental cleaning to get rid of it completely. Women need to be vigilant about any behavior that even remotely tries to propagate such a mindset because they are the main victims of such a mindset. Sexual harassment is still a huge problem both for men and women, but women are disproportionately victimized and that's why this protest was necessary.

Based on news reports it seems that the women's march was a huge success, not only in the US but in many other countries it was noticed. Now, what next? Just conducting one huge march or registering a protest once is not going to solve these problems. This huge protest should not be the end, but the beginning of a new movement. Marches or protests are good methods to highlight any issue or spread awareness about the problem. But efforts should not end with a one-time protest or one march. People (both men, women, and other genders) should resist any attempts to demean any group by anyone. It is going to be a long march to achieve equality and I hope that everyone in support of equality is willing to walk that long.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

This is blatant and shameless display of male chauvinism

It seems there is some sort of competition among some Indian political leaders about making more derogatory comments about sexual violence against women. This blatant display of male chauvinism is sickening, unfortunately, this is not a new or recent phenomenon. Apart from Samajwadi Party leaders like Mr. Mulayam Singh, who said that young boys do these types of mistakes (rapes) in youth rage and should not be punished very harshly for this, or Mr. Abu Azmi, who said that women who have sex outside marriage should be punished, there are many whose outrageous statements are ignored for the lack of media coverage. There are some who suggest that Mr. Modi's wife must be happy that finally he accepted her publicly. These are not some isolated incidents, there are many people across the party lines who share similar views. Please remember that these leaders are not some new entrants in politics they are experienced and seasoned politicians who very well know the meaning of these statements and also know the political benefits associated with them. Such statements not only reflect the male chauvinist nature of society but also show the misogynist society that tolerates such behavior.  

Rape is a heinous crime, it hurts the victim not only physically but also emotionally, and it leaves a permanent scar on their minds, not taking this crime seriously is another crime. Only insane or insensitive people can trivialize it. Offenders who commit rape must be given harsh punishment by law, at the same time awareness should be spread among youths which can help to minimize these incidents. Strong and effective law along with aggressive awareness campaigns is the only way to tackle these types of problems. These politicians are not helping this cause by making these types of statements. Politicians can go to any extent to gain political benefit, they can justify riots, rapes, or any other heinous crimes, there are ample examples of these incidents. 

What prompts these people to make these types of statements? Why do people allow such politicians to win the elections even after making such misogynistic statements? The reason has to be that there is a large section of society that still agrees with these statements. They still believe in male superiority and support male chauvinism. These people don't come from some backward areas or belong to an uneducated class but there are highly educated or literate folks also who believe in all this. These are people who cite examples from mythology or from history to justify Mr. Modi's action of leaving his home which resulted in the abandonment of his wife. No matter for what purpose Mr. Modi left his house and what he achieved I wonder how people can justify his action of abandoning his wife, not bothering about her for so many years, and still, not providing any legal rights as a wife. I also feel dismayed over these people now telling that woman that she should feel honored and lucky that a person of Modi's stature finally accepted officially her as his wife. It is true that whatever happens between husband and wife is their personal matter but when anyone is running for public office then their past and present actions are scrutinized by the media and public, this is a common practice all over the world. Any such act by a prominent public figure can send a wrong signal to people. The same people who get influenced by such actions then try to justify rape as some trivial mistake committed in youth rage. These people might even expect the victim to pardon the offender if for whatever reason the rapist offers to marry the victim after a brutal rape and might even expect her to feel lucky that the rapist is doing this huge favor to her. 

This type of mindset is not only disgusting but also very dangerous, it not only tries to trivialize the crime but also encourages it. If people cannot stop these incidents at least they can try not to encourage them. Yes, sometimes some of these laws are misused for some selfish gains, this should not be encouraged and all such cases should be dealt with equal seriousness and sincerity. Sometimes people misuse certain laws but that does not diminish the need to have strict laws, we just need a more efficient, sensitive, and transparent system to deal with such cases so that these laws are effectively implemented. Women's issues are important in any society but they are more important in societies where male chauvinism is so predominant. If people like us don't oppose such actions then these people won't stop making such statements and demeaning women. Women need all the support and help to deal with these problems. No doubt that women need to empower themselves to fight this battle on their own but the support from all sections of society is equally important and crucial. We all can help to deal with these types of problems at least by strongly raising our objection to such statements and not voting for such people. These politicians also should not get away easily after making such mistakes or statements, at least they should face some electoral loss. Display of male chauvinism is always shameless but now it's becoming so blatant and widespread that we cannot afford to ignore it.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. India’s pro-rapist lobby
2. Mulayam says ‘wrong’ anti-rape law should be amended
3. Women who have sex outside marriage should be hanged: SP leader Abu Azmi
4. Meet India's league of insensitive politicians