Is teenage parenthood very different than child marriage?

This question came up in my mind during one of my discussions with my daughter. We were discussing the merits and demerits of high school kids dating each other. Teenage dating, especially in high schools is a part of the modern-day culture in many developed countries, even in developing countries like India it is becoming very common. In countries like the US, dating starts during high school or middle school, and in countries like India, it used to start during college. The main reason for this time difference is that in India high schools still have a very restricted environment with a requirement of uniforms, a lot of rules and regulations about appearance and many of them are not even co-ed schools whereas in the US there are relatively unrestricted and free environment in schools. Teenage is a very important phase of any individual's life, many physical and psychological changes take place in us. We get transformed physically and well as mentally during these years. This can be called the transition phase of our transformation from child to adult. Many of us become aware of our own sexuality, this is also the time when we start getting attracted to other people sexually. I guess dating is a result of all these changes and in many Western countries, it is a socially accepted phenomenon. Most TV shows or movies propagate this culture, and because of all this aggressive marketing dating has become a necessary activity during high school days for most kids. There is tremendous peer pressure on kids to fit into this culture, and many kids desperately seek a partner as their boyfriend or girlfriend. Relationships are formed and destroyed, and this eventually leads to things like breakups and frustrations associated with it. Kids have to deal with all these things along with their studies, homework, college preparations, and expectations of their parents. Some of them manage these things very well, some just can't handle this all and suffer from depression, anxiety, panic, and many other problems. This has also created a very serious problem of teenage pregnancies. This issue of underage (less than 18 years) girls becoming pregnant and eventually teenage moms is a very important issue. This is important for the future of those newborn infants as well as their underage parents. School kids becoming parents has to be a serious matter for any society. How can a kid bear the complete responsibility of another kid? Many people might say that teenage pregnancy and dating are totally separate issues but according to me they are very closely related.

Fortunately, child marriage is illegal in most parts of the world today, it used to be a very common thing not very long ago. But today many countries have strong laws against child marriage and it has reduced significantly. In this case, kids are coerced to enter into a romantic relationship without even knowing what that relationship actually means. This coercion is not overt, but subtle through movies and other social channels. In the case of child marriage, everything was done under the family's guidance as kids used to be very young and there was no age limit to get married. This was a socially accepted phenomenon in many societies (India was one of them), but we all agree that it was a terrible practice. This ridiculous practice stopped because it created many social problems like the issue of child widows. These young girls used to become widows before even knowing that they were married and then they were forced to live very restricted lives for no fault of theirs. Many old men used to marry girls much younger than them by misusing this system, this all resulted in social uproar against this system, and slowly it was abolished socially and legally.

Friendship is a very beautiful thing and an essential part of our lives. Many of our serious and long-lasting friendships are formed during school and college days. But it seems someone felt that for high school kids, just friendship is not enough they also need to have more serious relationships, and teenage dating was invented. During the teenage years there are a lot of hormonal and physical changes in the human body, and physical attraction to others normally starts at that age. Therefore, no wonder that social acceptance of unmonitored teenage dating was an instant hit among teenagers. There are merits and demerits associated with this approach, especially when there is a possibility of sexual encounters in these types of relationships. As kids, many times they don't understand the consequences of their acts, sexual intercourse is a physical act but it can have many biological, social, and emotional consequences. Emotional and social consequences might differ from person to person but biological consequences are the same for all. Biology doesn't care whether you are a teenager or an adult, whether it is consensual sex or rape, any careless or unprotected sexual act can result in a pregnancy that can ultimately result in parenthood, and being a parent is a huge personal and social responsibility. The teenage pregnancy issue is a byproduct of this uncontrolled dating culture which starts too early in kids' lives, so early that many of them don't even know what a relationship means and what are the consequences of some of their actions. Proper sex education and spreading awareness about these issues is the only way to handle this problem of teenage parenthood. There needs to be a sense among today's youth about what is proper and what is improper sexual behavior. School years are a very important part of anyone's life, this is the time to learn new things, get ready to face new challenges of the future, and form long-lasting friendships, school is not a place to look for a life partner or indulge in unsafe sexual acts.

The culture of child marriage was abolished because many people started misusing it, this rampant misuse made some people protest against it, and slowly that protest created a big social movement that abolished that practice from many societies. I always feel sorry for kids who are busy thinking about their partner's likes and dislikes, how to get over breakups, or whether someone is sexually attracted to them or not. They all do these things at the age when they should be enjoying their school life without thinking about such complicated things. We all get ample time in our lives starting from our college days to worry about these things but school days are not the time to worry about these things. School life has its own style of romance but depression, breakups, and anxiety are not supposed to be part of that romance. I know that teenage parenthood and child marriage are totally different subjects but somehow I see some parallels in both of them, maybe I am wrong that is why I would like to know what others feel about this issue.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Let's teach religion

Religion is a very sensitive subject for many people. Very often people get very emotional or passionate while talking in favor or against religion. Many different religions are practiced in the world, some are very ancient (like Hinduism) and some are relatively new (like Islam). They differ from each other in various aspects, some of their rules and rituals are radically different from each other. Occurrences of communal tensions in different parts of the world between the followers of two different religions are also very common. All religions claim that they teach love and compassion toward people. They also say that people who are fighting among themselves or spreading hatred in the name of religion don't understand the true essence of that religion. At the same time, radical groups and fundamentalists are present in each religion. They are present in every country and section of society where religion is a dominant force. These radicals claim that they are the only people who understand the true meaning of that religion and claim to be the authorized flag bearers or true followers of that faith and call all others fake, compromised, weak, or misguided followers. On the other hand, people who criticize organized religion call it a totally outdated concept that has done more harm than good to humanity. So, there are many different views about religion and its role in society, and academically it may make an interesting topic to study. 

There is no doubt that religion plays a very important role in many people's lives. For some, it is so important that their lifestyle and personality are dictated by their religious beliefs. If religion is such an important subject why don't we teach it to kids as we teach them history and arts? Please listen to this very wonderful talk by Dan Dennet from where I borrowed the title of the blog. Why don't we present children with all the historical facts and figures about each and every religion that is practiced today? Let them know the unbiased version of the history of each religion (including their own), and let them understand the good, the bad, and the ugly aspects of it. In the current system, they get very biased knowledge about their own religion and the rest of religions from their own family. Many times this information is so biased that it creates a false positive image of their own religion and a false negative image of other religions in their minds. This image is then magnified by people like politicians and religious radicals who use these sentiments to misguide youths for their own benefit, this then creates fanatics who do something terrible under the name of protecting their own religion. 

Why can't we teach religion as a subject in schools? Why can't we have unbiased, logical, and fact-based discussions about each and every religion? After all, everyone who believes in religion says that their religion can stand any type of scrutiny or test, so why not put them on such a test. This will help kids from being misguided by people from their own religion as well as clear misconceptions about other religions. This might help to bridge the gap that we see among followers of different religions and maybe we could avoid communal clashes. I know I am stretching it too far but I believe once people are equipped with the right information they might be less prone to make wrong choices. Our job should be to provide unbiased information and expect it to produce desired results. I believe this is worth a try and the concerned people should think over this topic and come up with some plan. Nowadays sex education is becoming a part of many school curricula, finally, many countries are agreeing to the fact that it is necessary to give youths a proper sex education. Sexual activity is a very important part of human life, so giving proper information about this subject at the proper age will benefit students. Same way if religion is such an important aspect of many people's lives why not take a similar approach in this case also? 

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. Let's teach religion — all religion — in schools-TED talk
2. Letting go of God-TED talk

Why Is Religion Not a Separate Subject in School?

Religion is such an important part of many people's lives. According to many people, it plays an important role in maintaining social harmony (but in reality, many times it also creates disharmony). Then the question is, when there are so many subjects in school like history, maths, chemistry, physics, biology, and social studies that students study in very much detail, why is it missing? All these subjects are part of the regular school curriculum throughout the world, but there is very little information about religion in the school books. Why? Why do many intellectuals and governments not feel comfortable allowing discussion of religion in schools? Why do they feel it's not necessary to teach kids about various religions and help them to choose the one that they want? Most of us give them the freedom to choose their profession, the field they want to pursue their interests, or any hobby they want to pursue, so why is proper training and choice not given when it comes to religion? It's not that kids are too young to understand the complexity of religion. There are special religious schools where one can get enrolled at a very young age and even make a very good career out of that knowledge (like Madrasah, Church schools, and various Muths that kids attend). So, it looks like a very conscious and deliberate decision not to include religion as a separate subject in the school curriculum. It is offered in many universities but not in schools. Kids learn about almost everything during their formative years in school, but don't get a chance to learn anything about religion systematically. They get all the information about religion from their family, which is totally biased towards the religion the family follows.

I often wonder why it is so? Kids are taught religious traditions and rituals by their parents and other family members. They read many things related to their family's religion and sometimes about other religions, but they never study the history and social impact of religion on humanity. We all study World Wars I and II, how many people died in those conflicts, freedom struggle stories about many countries, the development of various civilizations, and many other things. We study them as a part of our history. But somehow, there is not much detailed information provided about various religions and their progress (at least in Indian schools where I studied). In the books that I studied in my school days, there was only a little information about how some of the religions originated (like Jainism, Sikhism, and Buddhism), but nothing special about their struggle and conflicts. I am not a fan of organized religion; I think it has created more rift between people than uniting them, but I didn't know this when I was in school. I also know now that none of the major organized religions were formed by the person who is credited for their creation; Jesus didn't start Christianity, and Mohammad didn't start Islam that people practice today. They just gave a message that they thought might benefit people around them, as there were so many social problems at that time. After their death, their followers wanted to propagate that message and formed an organized movement that turned into what we see today, religion within a religion. In my school days, I knew approximately how many people died in each world war, when Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bombed, why Hitler was defeated, and many other things, but nothing much about religion. 

I don't have an answer for why religion is not taught as a separate subject in schools. I don't even know if it should be there or not, but I am curious about what other people think about this issue. If religion is a uniting force and it teaches us peace and compassion for fellow human beings, then it should be taught in schools. If we think that it divides us and preaches hatred towards people from other religions, then it should also be taught, as it will force us to think about what went wrong with this institution, which was supposed to bring us together, and try to rectify those mistakes. Let me know your thoughts about this.

Thanks for reading.

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)