Sibling rivalry

Having siblings comes with its own pros and cons. The good part is that you always have someone to talk to and someone to look for support whenever you need it. On the other hand, you have to share almost everything with your siblings up to a particular age, you have someone nagging you all the time, and there is no way to escape this person even if you want to. Hence there is a popular phrase "sibling rivalry," even though siblings are not supposed to be rivals of each other. It is true that most sibling relationships go through a very volatile phase, this phase mostly starts in their teens and continues in their twenties, and then slowly things cool off and settle to bring some normalcy to their relationship. How strong the sibling bond remains largely depends on how tremulous was that volatile phase and how long it takes to cool things off. Another thing that complicated this is that most siblings are not good communicators with each other no matter how articulative and patient they are otherwise. One can easily notice the anger and contempt for no reason when siblings are having an argument with each other, these feelings are not with malice or any other bad intentions but they are there. Too much proximity and continuous presence in each other's life generates some unwanted and unavoidable hostility towards each other. Sibling rivalry is no fun either for siblings or parents, but it is an unavoidable phase of their lives that is impossible to escape, therefore, it is better to learn some valuable lessons from it. This rivalry only results in some positive results when siblings use it for healthy competition and get motivated by each other. It does reach to this stage in many cases but not without its own struggles. 

Can parents help? Not much. Parents are not the reasons for this problem and they can do little to resolve it. Even the forceful use of parental authority that most parents use when they run out of ideas is of little use in this case. Parents can definitely help by not making things worse by comparing siblings with each other and they should make sure that things don't get out of control and get physical, but beyond that, it is the siblings themselves who can resolve whatever issues they have. Acting as a mediator can be an option but most parents don't give enough time to develop such a relationship with their child where they can have candid conversations about various issues their child is facing, hence this option is not available for most parents. As mentioned earlier, things largely depend on how and when things cool off. Arguments and friction are unavoidable, but one thing that siblings don't do with each other which they do in their other relationships like their friendships is that they don't offer the same benefit of the doubt to their siblings that they offer to their friends. 

Siblings can be a great support to each other and this relationship should not be taken for granted just because this is a family-originated bond. Siblings must put some effort and invest quality time in building this relationship as they do with any other relationship. Like any other relationship, this also goes through its own ups and downs, and if not given the attention it requires can disintegrate and get damaged beyond repair. However, there is no need for parents to panic, keep an eye and don't get involved too much, there is no need for firefighters if there is no fire. Siblings should be able to sort out all the issues on their own with little help from their parents. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Sports rivalry and a life lesson

The FIFA World Cup recently got concluded. The world witnessed one of the best finals played ever. Keeping aside issues related to the organization of this World Cup and corruption charges against FIFA, it was an entertaining event. Messi, who was desperately trying to conquer the only remaining frontier in his illustrious career, helped his team win the much-coveted title after 36 years. And how can we forget another rising star, Mbappe, who plays for the same club as Messi, at the age of 23 already played in two World Cup finals, and was part of the French team that won the last World Cup. The final did not disappoint, it lived up to the hype and excitement. The game was a roller coaster ride after the first 80 minutes when Argentina looked like cruising towards their much-awaited World Cup triumph with a 2-0 lead. The way Mbappe brought his team back into the game by nullifying Argentina's leads was amazing. Unfortunately, the finals can have only one winner, so even though both teams played a great game, Argentina beat France on penalties to win their third World Cup title. 

I started watching football after learning about the magical skills of Maradona when Argentina won the World Cup in 1986. I was heartbroken when Argentina lost in the 1990 World Cup finals. When it comes to playing, I prefer cricket, another team sport, I have played cricket since my childhood and even play now also whenever I get a chance. Competitive sports always amazes me. People watch them not only for fun but also for inspiration, they try to look for heroes and icons that can inspire their generation or country. Many times, such icons get elevated to the status of a cult, Pele, Mohammad Ali, Michael Jordan, Maradona, Sachin Tendulkar, Zidane, Ronaldo, and Messi are just a few examples of such cult sports icons. Also, rivalries in sports are intense. However, I like it when players play intensely against each other and shake hands at the end of bitterly fought contests. There are exceptions where teams fight and things get ugly or when teams mock their opponents. I love the spectacle where winners try to console losers and shake hands acknowledging their efforts. Appreciating the efforts of your opponent after a bitterly fought contest is not an easy task, no matter on which side you are. I wish people learned an important life lesson from competitive sports. Respecting and appreciating the efforts of our opponents is something for everyone to learn. Try to give everything when you are on the field, but once the final whistle is blown and the match is over, shake hands with each other and move on, no matter what is the result. If you win, acknowledge the efforts of your opponents and wish them better luck next time. If you lose, congratulate the winners and resolve to come back and try harder next time. Come out of that game with some lessons and resolve. Try to come out not only as a better player but also as a better person. 

Sports and rivalry go hand in hand, but rivalry does not teach us to hate our opponent. It teaches us to make every effort to defeat our opponent, to be better than them, and to try to do our best. It doesn't teach us to hate our opponent, it doesn't teach us to throw them out of the arena, it doesn't teach us not to play by the rules, and it doesn't teach us that there should not be any opponent. We live in a world with diverse opinions and views. It is impossible that we all will agree all the time. There will be disagreements, many times, on very sensitive issues. Sometimes, we lose or win bitterly fought battles either in elections or in courts. In both cases, we should understand that the other team was also fighting for their team and is part of our society, we need to live with them and not without them. This is why it is necessary to respect our opponents. Respecting does not mean agreeing with them, it does not mean not opposing them, and it does not mean not pointing out their flaws and mistakes. Respecting means acknowledging their right to fight for their cause, acknowledging their efforts, and agreeing that even after defeat they also have the right to exist and build their team as much as we have. These simple steps will reduce the amount of hatred and polarization that we are witnessing around us. I hope as we talk and cherish memories of grand sporting events, we also learn the lesson to appreciate our own victories and defeats and treat our opponents with the respect they deserve.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com