Chandrakant uncle asked me this question a few days back. I never shared my intention or reasons for giving this particular name to my daughter with many people outside my immediate circle, but I think it will be interesting to share it on my blog. Naming your child can be a very complicated and sometimes stressful process and in today's world of the internet, it's becoming a very elaborate activity. There are many resources at people's disposal to get name suggestions. I was not very familiar with the world of the internet when my first child was born so I had very limited resources at my disposal to find a suitable name.
I was very happy to know that our first baby was a girl. I really wanted to have a daughter, not that I didn't want to have a son or was biased towards a particular gender. Any child is a child its gender really doesn't matter much. There was a very personal reason for my wish to have a daughter. I was tired of listening to comments or taunts like, 'It's easy to talk about feminism but difficult to practice," "You don't know how difficult it is to raise a daughter in today's world," "Maybe one day you will realize what it means to have a daughter" (said in a tone like it's some type of curse 'to have a daughter), "You talk like this because you don't have a daughter," etc. So, it was a big relief for me when I heard that my wife gave birth to a girl. When I heard that the first thought that came to my mind was that maybe now I don't have to listen to any of these comments or taunts. No doubt that I was happy, becoming a parent is one of the nicest feelings in the world. It's a pleasure as well as a huge responsibility and like any other parent it was one of the happiest days of my life.
I was very happy to know that our first baby was a girl. I really wanted to have a daughter, not that I didn't want to have a son or was biased towards a particular gender. Any child is a child its gender really doesn't matter much. There was a very personal reason for my wish to have a daughter. I was tired of listening to comments or taunts like, 'It's easy to talk about feminism but difficult to practice," "You don't know how difficult it is to raise a daughter in today's world," "Maybe one day you will realize what it means to have a daughter" (said in a tone like it's some type of curse 'to have a daughter), "You talk like this because you don't have a daughter," etc. So, it was a big relief for me when I heard that my wife gave birth to a girl. When I heard that the first thought that came to my mind was that maybe now I don't have to listen to any of these comments or taunts. No doubt that I was happy, becoming a parent is one of the nicest feelings in the world. It's a pleasure as well as a huge responsibility and like any other parent it was one of the happiest days of my life.
The next task was to name our daughter. Normally people select names appropriate to their own religion, culture, caste, etc. Many things contribute to the selection of the name of a child in India (or anywhere in the world). People who suggest names always try to suggest names according to your religion and this practice is very common all over the world. I also got some suggestions on similar lines. I and my wife had some of our own choices and they all were strictly according to all guidelines most parents follow, we were not any different. At that time I was also reading a lot about the anti-superstition (अन्धश्रधा निर्मूलन) movement in Maharashtra. I also read about Dr. Shriram Lagoo, a very celebrated actor on the Marathi stage and a popular character artist from Hindi cinema. I read about why he gave his son a Muslim name, he and Deepa Lagoo named their only child "Tanveer" a Muslim name, even though they both were born in Hindu families. There are not many examples like this (I know only this one). I read somewhere that they gave their child a name from a different religion, that to the religion with which their own religion has a history of bitter rivalry, because they wanted their child to understand that people can judge you as a person based on your name. They wanted their child not to judge others based on their name or religion.
People indeed can form many prejudices just based on your name. From your name, they come to know about your religion, and caste (in India). They can guess from which region or country you belong and then based on their own assumptions about these things they can form certain opinions about you. We all do it, it's a very common thing. This might be the reason why many parents do not want to name their kids Osama, Adolf, or Duryodhan just because of the negative image associated with these names. It induces fear in parents' minds that their child might subjected to some trauma or torture just because of his/her name and they want to avoid it.
People indeed can form many prejudices just based on your name. From your name, they come to know about your religion, and caste (in India). They can guess from which region or country you belong and then based on their own assumptions about these things they can form certain opinions about you. We all do it, it's a very common thing. This might be the reason why many parents do not want to name their kids Osama, Adolf, or Duryodhan just because of the negative image associated with these names. It induces fear in parents' minds that their child might subjected to some trauma or torture just because of his/her name and they want to avoid it.
So, when I decided to name my first child my intention was to convey my belief to her that it's not your name that gives you a character or meaning to you rather it's you who give some meaning to your name. It doesn't matter what your name is, or from which religion or region it belongs, a name is just a name. But frankly speaking at the same time I was not as brave as Lagoos to give clearly a Muslim or Christian name. I knew that no one in my family would accept it and clearly, it would be a matter of argument and discomfort for many people in my family. I wanted to avoid this scenario as I was already causing enough trouble. I didn't want my newborn daughter to be a reason for family fights right from her entry into this world. Then I came across the name "Sara." I don't remember where I read it for the first time but maybe I came across it for the first time while reading about Sachin's family life. I know now that his daughter's name is Sara but I am not that type of crazy fan to name my daughter or son after people I like. I realized that the name "Sara" perfectly fits my bill. It's not from my own religion, my family had no clue which religion or region it belongs to as it was not a very common name in India). Honestly, I didn't have any clue at that time about the meaning of this name but I liked it. Fortunately, my wife also agreed to it and no one else protested (once she agreed anyway other's protests didn't matter). So, we named her Sara.
It's a very simple story but I thought it's worth sharing. Thanks to Chandu uncle for asking me this question which took me back to my memory lane to remember those wonderful days. My daughter is now old enough to understand how people name their kids and what logic normally people follow while naming their kids. She also knows which part of the world her name originated in and what it means. I told her the story behind her own naming process and she is totally cool with it. I am glad that both kids understand the limited importance and significance of people's names and they don't judge people just based on their name, race, religion, or nationality. After all, name, religion, and country of origin don't really matter, all that matters is how we behave with others and how well we treat the people around us. Remember, our name doesn't give any meaning to us, but we can definitely give some meaning to our name.
Thanks for reading and please share your opinion.
(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)
