My amazing journey to finish the law school

Some journeys leave an everlasting impact on our minds. These journeys might be full of uncertainties, hardships, occasional anxiety and frustration, and a lot of hard work, but overall, they are rewarding experiences. My law school journey is one such journey. I started this journey back in August 2020 with many uncertainties and doubts. I did not know if I would be able to finish it, how hard it would be, and many other concerns. It was a risky move, some people even warned me against it, they cited some examples who tried this and failed or quit, but I was ready to take the risk. I am glad that I did. It turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. Not only my friends and family but UConn Law School and its support staff, my professors, and my classmates also made this experience very special. I enjoyed every bit of it. I am not sad that I will be leaving the law school as it was supposed to be a four-year course. Every good thing is supposed to end, but the happiness and knowledge that I acquired will remain with me forever. Every experience teaches us something, it becomes a part of us, and shapes our personality and thinking. No doubt, this experience is one of those experiences which transformed me inside out.

Many times, we have a dream and also the desire to pursue that dream, but we postpone our efforts or put them on hold for many reasons. Some of the most common reasons are our familial responsibilities, monetary restrictions, personal doubts or lack of confidence, or a fear of what people will say if I fail. I also had some of these concerns. I fell in love with American educational institutions way back when I started working as a postdoc at Rutgers University. The kind of experience these institutions try to provide to their students is unmatched, there are very few places in the world that are so diverse and welcoming for students all over the world. I had a dream to attend an American college or university, but the problem was I already came to the USA after finishing my formal education. Also, I did not want to get enrolled in any online degree or a short certification course, not because I do not value them or consider them any inferior, but because these things would not have provided me with complete university experience, especially on-campus university life.

I came to the US as a postdoc after finishing my Ph.D. in organic chemistry, so it was tough to justify going back to college to pursue another degree. But my dream to attend an American university remained with me, and I was searching for an opportunity to fulfill it. It is always hard to deviate from a set route to do something different. It disturbs the regularity of our lives, we need to get out of our comfort zone and do something that we could avoid if we want. Also, to chase a dream, not only do you need to have a dream but you also need to have a plan to chase it, especially if you have a family to support. I decided to give it a try in 2015 while working as a research scientist in the pharma industry. I loved my job and was well settled in the drug discovery field, I thought that it was a perfect time for me to try something different. I got interested in intellectual property (IP), and my mentor and elder brother Dr. Dev Singh germinated an idea to study law with a specialization in IP in my mind. I loved that idea as it would help me to achieve my dream of attending an American university and started working towards it. I prepared for the LSAT exam and secured a score within my desired range on the first attempt. I went through the application process and got accepted in both the law schools where I applied for their part-time J.D. program, I decided to join UConn Law School in a class of 2020 J.D. program. This is how it all started, I embarked on this exciting journey in the fall of 2016.

This journey also made me realize the meaning of the proverb "It takes a village to raise a child." I could not have done this alone. Support from my friends and family was more than crucial. My wife Reena proved to be a great companion and supporter for me during this journey. She not only took on familial responsibilities but also helped me to make some important law school-related decisions. Her conviction and fearlessness were a great help to me whenever I was in doubt. My professors and classmates were other pillars of support for me. I was skeptical if I could survive the "Socratic method" of teaching in American law schools if I could manage my full-time job and rigorous law school curriculum which involves a crazy amount of reading. However, my classmates and professors offered me all the support that I needed. My professors encouraged me, they believed in my abilities, appreciated my struggle and hard work, helped me to work on my weaknesses, praised my strengths, and offered constructive criticism wherever and whenever required. My classmates were very supportive not only did they welcome me with an open heart but also offered to borrow their books and notes, welcomed me to study groups, and arranged those group sessions on time convenient to me. My friends and family, especially Dr. Dev Singh and his family encouraged me to keep on working towards my goal, they all acted as my cheerleaders. I am indebted to all these people for their contributions and efforts to help me succeed in my dream.

Monday, May 5, 2020, was the last day of my law school classes. Now, no more classes to attend, no more assignments, no pressure for exams, and no anxiety to tread through the heavy traffic after finishing my work to reach the class on time. The memories that I created during these four years are priceless. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who made my dream a reality. Yes, dreams do come true, just give it a try. 

Thanks for reading and please share your dream which came true.

Five years!

Today is the fifth anniversary of my blog. The last five years of my journey with this blog have been an amazing experience for me. I wish to thank all blog readers for their encouragement and appreciation, your feedback and shared experiences made this blog more special. Last year I wrote 40 posts, which was almost half compared to the previous year. It was not because I didn't want to write, but I got busy with my studies and there was not much time to spend on writing the blog. This trend might continue for some time. It is not easy to manage full-time work, part-time studies, and family responsibilities together. I am trying to strike that sweet balance and at the same time enjoying this phase a lot. It is stressful and demanding but at the same time very good learning experience. The main reason I can do this is because I always enjoyed learning about new subjects and new areas. This adds new perspectives to my life and improves my knowledge. It is difficult to balance so many things at the same time but at the same time, it is a very exciting and rewarding experience. I do plan to continue writing blog posts on relevant topics as time permits.

A lot is happening around us socially and politically. We need to continuously register our opinions about things that we care about, the values we hold dear to our hearts, and protest against any injustice. Many times it's not easy, it feels like our one voice won't make any difference, but remember that many revolutions started with that one voice that dared to resist. Anyone of us can be that one voice that can initiate the change, we just need to have that courage and commitment. My blog is one small step in that direction, the aim is not just to share my views, but also to start a healthy discussion, germinate a seed of independent thinking in the readers' minds, and hope that it will create a novel stream of thoughts which might help to initiate the change for better tomorrow. This effort will definitely continue from my side. At this junction, when I pause and look back on my efforts to initiate that change, I feel quite good about it and want to thank the readers of the blog once again for encouraging me to continue this amazing journey. I am deeply honored by your support and encouragement. I always try my best to answer your questions and will continue doing so. I am glad to read that many of you have got something useful from this blog and I hope you continue to benefit by reading this blog in the future also.

This journey will continue from my side, I invite all of you also to share your opinions and voice your concerns on whatever platforms you can. Let's try to make this world a better place, full of more love, more compassion, more tolerance, and more people who value the liberty and freedom of others.

Thank you very much for your cooperation and happy reading.

This amazing journey continues

Four years ago, my first post was published on this blog. I never imagined that I would continue writing regularly for so long, but with your support and encouragement I did manage to do that and here we are celebrating the fourth anniversary of this blog. This journey is one of the most joyful and rewarding experiences of my life. I want to thank all readers for making this experience so special. My special thanks to people who share their views by posting their comments, you all make this blog more meaningful. Please continue to share your views here or on whatever platform you feel appropriate as they all are important and valuable. I feel it is important for all of us to share our views so that various issues and problems get debated and discussed. Debates and discussions are important instruments of any democratic society that aspires to continuous progress. I guess we all agree that our world is still facing so many serious problems and only we can solve them by sharing our ideas. We all might propose radically different ways to solve some of these problems but unless we debate and discuss, we will never know which one is the best or most amicable way to tackle these issues. Please be vocal about your opinions and participate in discussions whenever possible. I agree that there is so much chaos on social media where many times discussion turns into some sort of street fight with a lot of mud-slinging and personal insults. It gets so bad that many times it is impossible to have any sensible discussion on those forums. We should not get discouraged by such a scenario, rather this is why we need to generate more forums where one can have sensible and rational discussions. We need to understand the difference between discussion and argument. Let's try to focus more on constructive discussions rather than verbal spats. There is nothing wrong with engaging in arguments as many times it can be fun and might help us to hone our argumentative skills but we should be also aware that rarely they contribute towards generating any meaningful outcome. 

I am sure readers must have noticed the reduced frequency of my posts during the last year or so. I did that purposely to avoid being repetitive and also as I got busy with some other things. I am passionate about certain issues but I understand that it will be very annoying if I keep on writing about those issues every week, that doesn't mean I will stop writing about them but I will try to do it in a way where I don't look very repetitive. I am also not interested in commenting about each and every sensational topic that is sensationalized beyond limits by various media houses. Many of these things don't deserve my attention and time. Nowadays every other day something sensational erupts from media houses all over the world. The battle for high TRPs and to attract maximum traffic on their websites has forced these many news organizations to present each and every piece of news in such a sensational way that even trivial incidents generate a hysterical public response. I think people need to relax a little and think rationally before reacting hysterically to such news items. Social media and various other online platforms have given us great opportunity and tremendous power to share our opinions, and we all need to make proper use of this opportunity. I am sure as people get acquainted with the merits and demerits of these discussions they will slowly become more mature and start using these platforms to their advantage. Once we pass through the transition phase and people learn how to use and not misuse these things then many of these side effects will wane away. Hopefully, these platforms will be more beneficial to our society, they may also help various governing bodies to feel the pulse of public opinion and act accordingly. This marvelous technological revolution has also allowed many writers to express their ideas freely without being dependent on any publisher to reach readers. I believe this has definitely helped to break the monopoly of those few gifted and powerful personalities who used to rule the opinion of the world as they only used to have access to very limited resources available back then like newspapers and book publishing houses to express their opinions. I think this is one of the biggest changes social media has brought in the field of opinion exchange. One can debate about the pros and cons of this changed ecosystem but this has definitely created a huge shift in the way public opinion is formed and used in today's world.

Please continue your support and encouragement, and also please continue to express your opinions. Let's debate and discuss. Let's try to fix what is wrong and try to preserve what is right. Let's ask questions and try to find answers. Let's learn to agree to disagree sometimes and let's also learn to respect everyone's right to express their opinions.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

My Marriage - an amazing journey

This year (2014) there was the 16th anniversary of my marriage. I can't believe that sixteen years have passed since I and Reena got married. When I look back I can't stop wondering how quickly time passes, it has been a beautiful and rewarding journey so far for me. I hope the same is true for Reena. Like many couples in India, ours was also an arranged marriage. This system is still very popular in India and even today most people get married via this method. The system of arranged marriage has its own pros and cons, one can have lengthy debates on this but this post is not about that, it is about my amazing journey with my wife who now is also my very good friend. We first began our journey as husband and wife and now we are like best friends, I believe that friendship is an integral part of any marital relationship.

Our journey together started when I was still doing my Ph.D. Anyone familiar with the life of a Ph.D. student would know how tough is that life. I was embroiled in long work days in the lab, a very tiring work schedule, and a life full of frustrations and uncertainties of research. It was not easy for Reena to adjust to this new life after marriage. I must say that she adjusted really well with all this and managed very well on her own. There was a learning curve for both of us. We both took some time to adjust to this new reality of life, it also took some time to understand each other. As it is for every marriage there were ups and downs in our married life also and we learned something from each of these phases. I am sure initially Reena must have felt a little unusual to find a person like me as her husband. A person who doesn't believe in going on honeymoon or on exotic holidays, who was so introverted that he would prefer to read a book rather than have a chat, a person so busy with his research work who worked even on weekends, who doesn't like to go out for dinner or watching movies. These are some of the traits that I used to have back then and my stressful research life added additional demands and complexities. I also offered very little help to her in fighting her battle to establish herself in a new city and new family. She did manage well without my help and I am really proud to say that she never even asked for my help after I made her clear that she should not expect any special treatment just because she is a woman and should fight her own battles. I am sure initially it was a big struggle for her as she was in a city where she didn't understand the local language. She learned Marathi quickly and learned so well that within a few months, she could communicate with my neighbors in Marathi. She also learned to do all official work related to banks and other things without my help. Some people might think that what a big deal if some woman can manage these things on her own. They are right, women should be doing this on their own but in my family they were not even allowed to go out of home alone, so, this was a great achievement. In India, ours is a joint family, I am sure it was not easy for her to adjust to this environment but she never complained, or expressed her displeasure towards anything and I really thank her for that.

When we moved to the US almost a decade back, it was the beginning of another new chapter in life for us. It was not only a new city but a new country, and a new culture and we did not know anyone there. Fortunately, we met very kind and helpful people here with whom we now have relationships like family and I must say that Reena was instrumental in nurturing all these relationships. Actually, I have no hesitation in saying that she is the person who makes me socially relevant, she is the main reason all guests feel welcome in our home. I am not that social person from the beginning. But Reena tries to remember what are likes and dislikes of my friends and then cooks that particular dish whenever they visit, she even remembers most people's birthdays and other important days (like marriage anniversaries) and reminds me to wish them. This quality of hers has played a very pivotal role in our survival in this new country which we now can call our second home. We successfully completed almost a decade here and I credit her a lot for this. Apart from her, there are other women like my mom, and my grandmas who played a very crucial role in my life. It is said that behind every successful man, there is a woman but I disagree with the phrasing of this statement. Why behind? They are always with them, these women are not behind me but they are with me, right beside me. We should say "With every successful man there is a woman." These women didn't play any secondary role in my life but their role was and still is a very primary role. So, Reena's contributions are as crucial as my own contributions, she shares my success equally and is as much responsible for it as I am.

Actually, one blog post is not enough to write about this amazing journey. I just want to express my thanks and gratitude towards her for being such an amazing partner. A very supportive and understanding partner is needed for a successful marriage. This is especially true when we have so many uncommon things between us. For example, we both belong to different states in India (each state has a different language and culture), and we both have very different views about religion and God (Reena considers herself religious and believes in Hinduism and I don't subscribe to any such values), our mother tongue's are also different, despite all these differences where some of them can destroy relationships our family is a bunch of happy people. I consider this as a big success. We don't try to force our views on each other and on our kids but try to encourage them to explore on their own and choose what they feel is good for them. Because of our unique backgrounds and exposure to different cultures, our kids have a variety of things which they can choose from. These all responsibilities and challenges in life make it very interesting. We both are trying to figure out our way through all this while enjoying our journey together. I don't think there is any single formula for successful marriage or successful parenting, for every couple or family different things might work, one needs to find what works for them and I guess we have figured out what works for us. So far this journey has been amazing and I am sure it will continue like this. Thank you, Reena, and thanks for all the wonderful memories.

Thanks for reading.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Motivation: from where and how to get it

First of all, we need to know why and when we need motivation. Many times, we are not happy with our jobs, our relationships, and our lives in general sucks. This all makes us lethargic and dull, and we lose interest in almost everything. Fierce competition in every field, our disappointments and failures make this situation more complicated. This situation leads to a lack of interest, depression, and a pessimistic attitude towards life.  Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are going through this phase, we suffer, and people around us also suffer because of this. In today’s competitive, fast-moving world, people don’t have time for each other; they are fighting for their survival. Our needs are limited, but our desires are huge, unlimited, endless. To get out of this hopeless situation, we need some motivation and positive thinking. 

According to me the best way to get out of this mess is to learn to motivate ourselves without any external help. Everyone can’t afford to attend those motivational speeches, courses, or classes, at least I didn’t get a chance to attend them. The neighborhood where I spent my first 30 years of life exposed me to many different situations in life. I consider myself lucky in that aspect; I became very rich in experience. But my problem was I didn’t have anybody to guide me, to motivate me (unless you call your parents' heavy expectations about you as a motivation). So, I searched for it in books and made many friends, and it helped me a lot. I got motivation from my friends and books, and that’s how I learned to motivate myself. That's why, according to me best way to get motivated is to motivate yourself. It’s not that easy, but trust me, it’s not that difficult either. 

In my research field of drug discovery, there is a very high failure rate; the success rate to get a suitable drug candidate is less than 0.5%, so it looks quite a gloomy situation. But I enjoy my work and cherish all aspects of it. I am not worried about my final destination as I want to enjoy my journey. I believe that there can be many people whose destination might be the same, but everybody’s journey is unique and special. We worry a lot about results, our targets, and achievements. Because of all these worries and concerns, we don't enjoy our journey. In my case, I believe that every molecule I am making might be the next blockbuster drug to cure that disease, and it gives me immense pleasure to put all my efforts and hard work towards its synthesis. I am not worried about its fate once it’s synthesized because that’s not in my hands. I believe that it may not be possible for everyone to get the best job in the world, but it’s in our hands to give the best possible effort to whatever job we have. I also try to exercise on a fairly regular basis, but I just don’t exercise because I am scared of getting fat or having high cholesterol. I do it because I enjoy my workout, I like the environment of the gym, and seeing people in action, that spirit motivates me, my workout makes me tired, but also makes me feel good.

If we look around, we can get motivation from many small things. The problem is that we worry too much about the future, failures, fear of competition, and so many other things that mess up our minds and consume our energy. So, cheer up and be happy because happy people are always motivated.

Thanks for reading. Please share your comments. 

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)