As parents, we often see ourselves as teachers, guiding our children through life with the knowledge and wisdom we’ve gathered over the years. And while that responsibility is real, it’s only half the story. The truth is, our children have just as much to teach us—if we’re willing to pause, listen, and learn.
Most of us grew up in a very different world. The environment, the values, and the social norms of our era shaped how we think, behave, and judge right from wrong. But the world isn’t static. It evolves constantly—sometimes slowly over generations, and other times so rapidly that a few short years bring transformative change. As parents, it’s worth asking ourselves: are we preparing our children for the world as it is, or for a world that only exists in our memories?
This is where our children become our teachers.
I can speak from personal experience about the power of listening to my kids. My kids have taught me more than I could have imagined. Sometimes their words have challenged long-held beliefs, other times they’ve helped me evolve in ways I never thought possible. And none of it would have happened had I not chosen to listen.
Listening doesn’t mean agreeing blindly. In our home, discussions often turn into intense debates. My kids don’t hold back, and they attack weak arguments with full force. At times, the exchanges get heated. But when the dust settles, I walk away with plenty to reflect upon. I believe they do the same.
Through these conversations, my perspectives have shifted on issues like mental health, gender, feminism, racism, and much more. If I had dismissed their views simply because they are younger, I would have missed invaluable lessons.
It’s a mistake to believe that a child’s silence is a sign of respect. Somehow, in many cultures, including Indian culture, not speaking in front of elders, especially not questioning or arguing with them, is considered a sign of respect, and doing otherwise is considered a sign of disrespect or arrogance. More often, silence signals fear—or worse, the belief that engaging with you is pointless. That silence doesn’t build love or trust; it builds walls and resentment.
As parents, it’s our job to initiate meaningful conversations and to create a space where children feel safe enough to challenge us. If they can debate with friends or teachers but remain silent at home, we’re not raising honest communicators—we’re raising hypocrites. And the world already has enough of those.
Values are important, but no value is immune to becoming outdated. Outdated values need updating. What worked decades ago may not serve our children in the present—or prepare them for the future, no matter which book, religion, or prophet has said those words, values, and beliefs get outdated, and they need constant updates. By listening to our kids, we gain access to fresh perspectives that can refine, update, or even replace the values we once held tightly.
Our children are not blank slates waiting to be filled; they are thinking, questioning, evolving individuals with a lot to say. If we give them patience, attention, and the respect they deserve, they can teach us how to grow alongside them.
So don’t close the door on learning just because you’re the parent. Keep the conversations open, even when they’re uncomfortable. Challenge them and let them challenge you. In doing so, you’ll not only raise responsible, empathetic citizens—you’ll also become a better version of yourself. Remember, as parents, it is our job to initiate the discussion, we need the learning, and we must be proactive to initiate this process.
Learning from your kids is free. And it will transform your relationship with them—for good.
Thank you for reading, and please share your views on this topic.
© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved. Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com
