How do you want to earn respect?

Humans are social animals. We live in groups, interact regularly, and seek continuous validation from each other. These interactions and feelings of community help us to maintain our mental and social health. Our perpetual need to seek validation from others is the major reason for the tremendous success of social media. We want our family, friends, and society to recognize and respect us. Earning respect and validation are fundamental aspects of human interaction. We find various avenues to seek this respect and validation. Power and wealth have become universal tools to command respect in every society. It is important to note that to respect power (wealth is also a form of power), is no different than what animals do, they also respect power, the might is right is the rule of the jungle. Knowingly (or unknowingly) we are following the same rule. Why are we inclined to respect power and wealth so much? Even after all these years of learning and progress why are we okay with obnoxious displays of wealth and power? Why do love, compassion, humor, and kindness not generate as much respect as wealth and power generate? I wonder if people ask these questions in today's fast-paced life.

In a world driven by materialistic pursuits and instant gratification, the quest for respect is often overshadowed by desires for wealth and power. Wealth and power are not bad things per se, it depends how a person uses them. Most, if not all rich, follow a typical lifestyle, some common elements are, living in lavish homes, having unique preferences about schools, colleges, and jobs, and noticeable use of luxury brands. Nothing wrong with any of these things. The problem is when these things become the hallmarks of earning respect and things like integrity, compassion, love, and authenticity are forgotten. In striving for respect, it is essential to acknowledge the pitfalls of a materialistic mindset. Material possessions are necessary and they do provide instant gratification, however, a life solely focused on wealth and power can lead to emptiness and a lack of fulfillment, and ultimately may fail to garner genuine respect. Also, it can foster superficial relationships based on what one has rather than who one is. Therefore, prioritizing material wealth and power as the only means to earn respect can be ultimately futile and shallow.

Another way to earn respect can stem from material wealth and power coupled with the choices we make and the values we uphold. Integrity, for instance, is one of the cornerstones of respect. Being honest, reliable, and principled in our actions establishes ourselves as individuals of character and cultivates trust and admiration from others. Compassion is another powerful quality that is becoming rare as people are getting more aggressively opinionated. Showing empathy and kindness towards others not only enriches their lives but also reflects positively on our own morals and character. When we teach others with dignity and understanding, we foster meaningful connections built on mutual respect and empathy. Many people forget this simple aspect of human interaction, especially on social media or while discussing sensitive issues, this is why we see so polarized society. Authenticity is one of the most important qualities to earn respect. Nowadays, we are so used to seeing the well-curated lives of others on social media that we forget the real colors and flavors of our own personal and social lives. Embracing our true selves, flaws, and all, demonstrates courage and vulnerability. Understanding that courage and vulnerability are two sides of the same coin is very important. Our authenticity invited others to see us for who we are, fostering genuine connections based on acceptance and mutual understanding. Authenticity deeply resonates with others because it acknowledges our humanity and allows for genuine relationships to flourish. Any relationship that is based on mutual respect and compassion helps us to form strong bonds that survive the east of time.

In essence, earning respect goes beyond the accumulation of material wealth, power, or superficial achievements. These things do have their own place in our lives, but they are not replacements for honesty, compassion, kindness, love, and authenticity. By living a life of making conscious choices aligned with these values, we not only earn the respect of others but also cultivate a sense of self-worth and fulfillment that transcends materialism. As we navigate life's complexities and our own challenges, let's strive not only for success but also for respect grounded in the richness of our character and the authenticity of our actions. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Fragile morality and ethics

You won't find anyone who claims not to have any ethical or moral values. Even hate-mongering leaders, ruthless dictators, mass murderers, criminals, and psychopaths claim to have moral standards and ethics. Rather, hate-mongering politicians and other people regularly use morality and ethics to propagate hate and animosity between different groups. Some people try to justify wars and genocides under the name of self-defense and/or for upholding moral principles like peace and harmony. Some people justify communal riots under the name of upholding the honor of religion or protecting that religion. I wonder when everyone believes in moral and ethical principles like love, kindness, harmony, and peace, then who are the people who are responsible for so much hatred and violence that is going on around the world. Difference of opinion is a healthy sign for any society, but who are the people who are polarizing the society? What happens to these widely publicized ethical and moral values when any country attacks another country brutally killing innocent civilians who never did anything to hurt that country? Are these moral and ethical principles so fragile that they crumble when we face any conflict and pressure? Are these moral and ethical principles so fragile that we remember them only when we are at the receiving end of hate and violence? Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

It is easy to preach peace, kindness, and love when there is no conflict and when nothing is at stake, but the time we face any threat or conflict we hang these principles out of the door and engage in all kinds of unethical and immoral acts under the name of self-defense. Yes, self-defense is necessary, responding to any violent attack is necessary, and protecting territorial interests is necessary. But it is also necessary to keep in mind the scale and proportionality of our response, to keep in mind that innocent civilians are not enemy targets but are also enemy victims. This is something we must debate as a society if at all we are serious about strong moral and ethical values. In the past and even today people all over the world remained mute spectators to the carnage of innocent civilians. We cannot allow this to continue without being labeled as hypocrites who only care about moral and ethical values only when it suits us. Currently, these values are very fragile, they break even when a little external pressure is applied to them. It is up to us to decide if we are okay with such a fragile value system or society or if we really want to practice what we preach. The choice is ours and as we judge historical events, future generations will judge us for our conveniently fragile morality and ethics.      

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

There is my truth and your truth, where is our truth?

In this era of information explosion, one may expect that people have the resources and capabilities to decipher the information and separate the facts from the fiction. Tragically, this is not what's happening. Spread of false information and propaganda is at its peak. The Internet has provided a platform to spread the good, the bad, the ugly, the dangerous, and all other types of information. People are carving out only what suits their ideology and argument. They selectively and intelligently use that carved-out information and data to validate their preconceived notions. People don't bother to verify whether the information or data they are using is reliable and verifiable, if it suits their arguments, they assume that the information is true, if it doesn't suit they discard the information as unreliable. In both cases, there is no verification for the information used or rejected. So, there is my truth and there is your truth, but there is no our truth. Our respective truths depend on which religion we follow, which gender we belong to, which country we live in, which age group we belong to, which political party or leader we support, and various other subjective parameters. As the parameters used are so subjective, the truth is also becoming subjective, and this is the biggest tragedy of this era, even after having access to so much information we are crippled with unreliable and subjective propaganda, we are so trapped in our siloes that we don't even care that we are being manipulated and brainwashed.

Also, this information tsunami is not uniting people, it's not making people more knowledgeable and flexible, but it is making people more rigid and siloed. It is making people more polarized and convinced only about their own views, and it is making people more hostile to any alternate views and ideas. People are more interested in validating the ideas of their tribe than interested in knowing the truth. They seek data and information, but only if it validates their own beliefs, the rest is either termed inaccurate or propaganda. This is where we stand today. I don't think anyone expected that we would be heading in this direction when this all started, but that is where we stand today, and unless we all appreciate our own tendencies to fall for misinformation directed at us, we will be heading to a more siloed and polarized world. People are so scared of being wrong that they aggressively reject everything that could even remotely question their ideology and beliefs. This type of behavior used to be seen only in cults, but it seems now everyone is behaving as if they are part of some cult. This cult could be their political party or leader, their ideology, or whatever group they want to be associated with. It seems people have lost their ability to offer and receive constructive criticism. The only way to deal with this hostile environment is to be patient. Listen to others, as there are more speakers than listeners, everyone has something to say but there are very few who are willing to listen. Let this outrage pass, let people vent their feelings and then let's hope that these people are willing to listen. If we cannot do this, then we will be in perpetual shouting mode, where everyone is broadcasting, but no one is listening, there will be a lot of noise but no sanity. There is my truth and there is your truth, we need to look for our truth, and we can find that only if we look together. 

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com