Our worry chambers

We all worry. It is common for humans to worry about various things. No one teaches us how and why to worry, we pick up this habit from our surroundings and make it our own. It is also true that as we age, we start worrying more, you will hardly see a kid worrying about what will happen tomorrow, but we can see many grownups, including teenagers who worry a lot about the future. Even though uncertainty is an inherent aspect of our lives and there is nothing much we can do about it, we worry about the uncertainty in our lives. Worrying is so pervasive and addictive that we also start worrying about why we worry so much. In reality, there is no escape from worrying after we cross a certain age, we create our own worry chambers and go there more often than we should. The key is not how to stop worrying, because we just can't, the key is how we make use of our worrying habit to our advantage. We must use our worry chambers to caution us rather than cripple us, the exercise is tricky, but we must learn to use our worry chambers as precautionary stops, this is the only way to use our worry chambers rather than getting stuck in them forever.

The actual problem is not that we worry, worrying itself is not bad, it helps us to be cautious, and it makes us collect more information before making any decision, so, in a way it helps us to mitigate potential risks. The problem is when we can't stop worrying and it cripples us, we can't take any action because we are stuck in our worry chambers. "Stop worrying" is useless advice to offer others and to receive it from someone. Everyone knows we should stop worrying, but we can't do it as it is ingrained in our thinking process. Telling someone to stop worrying is like telling them to stop thinking, it is not going to happen as long as their mind is in an active state. So, one thing is clear, worrying is here to stay with us as long as we can think. One solution to this is to make worrying our strength and not our weakness. If you know that you can't get rid of worrying, learn to walk with your worries, and make them your advisor friend, a friend who will tell you about dangers and pitfalls. But don't allow that friend to dictate and control every step, allow it to walk with you, but not for you. Allow it to offer advice, but don't allow it to dictate your path. Allow it to walk behind you, not ahead of you. Allow it to take part in your inner conversations, but don't allow it to dominate those conversations. Allow it to be with you, but don't allow it to be you. This way, we can make good use of our worrying instinct, it can help us rather than cripple us. I know it is easier said than done, but it is worth a shot. We need to devise our own methods to deal with our worries, what works for me may not work for you, and vice versa. But one thing is clear, in the current era of junk information (same as junk food), we need to take care of worry chambers and make sure that we don't get stuck in them. We should use our worries to get the information and move on. Remember, thinking is only the first step, if we want to achieve our goals we also need to take action, worrying is part of the thinking process not part of our action, let our worries stand by our side while we move on by taking action and making things happen. All the very best.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com 

Galvanized and glossy unhappiness

If we glance at social media posts, we can't miss noticing that almost everyone is having a great time and is politically astute with very strong views and opinions about almost every topic. These are not bad things at all, everyone should be happy and be aware of what is happening around them socially and politically. However, if we look closely, this is not about happiness or awareness, this is all about sharing our curated lives and propagating our beliefs. Previously politicians and celebrities used to do this, now, almost everyone is doing it. I remember that people used to accuse politicians and celebrities of being double-faced, displaying something, but in reality, being something else, that is, being fake. Now, social media is one big mall where fake lives are on display and almost everyone is shopping or at least window shopping there. Even though people know it's fake and manipulated, people can't stop, the same way, they couldn't stop reading about the fabricated lives of film stars and politicians during the pre-social media era. Social media has been recognized as one of the addictions that people suffer from. Many people suffer from either a chronic desire to share their curated lifestyle or browsing glimpses of the curated lifestyles of others. Both these things create an undue pressure of sharing perpetual happiness, because this is what we see on social media, others are having a great time and are happy all the time, so, we want to display that we are doing the same. Also, not everyone is happy to watch others having a great time, many get stressed and become unhappy and dissatisfied about their own lives. The result of all this is most of the things posted on social media are well-curated. We see the galvanized and glossy lives of everyone. Everyone is either having a party or attending some party. I am not saying that there are no exceptions, of course, genuine and useful information is also shared on social media and many people benefit from such information. Many people use social media to spread social and political awareness and help others, but definitely, narcism through the display of wealth and self-centered posts is on the rise.

Not long ago, people used to watch glossy and curated accounts of the lives of celebrities in magazines and on TV programs. It was presented as if those people were having a great time with all their money and luxurious lifestyle, but once in a while some ugly or tragic details of their lives used to come out indicating that what looked so glossy and galvanized was apparently not that glossy and galvanized. People who are happy and having a great time look happy and make everyone around them happy, they share not only their happiness but also help others to become happy. But an over-the-top and exuberant display of perpetual happiness is many times used to hide underlying unhappiness. Actually, it is tragic that people are scared to share their vulnerabilities and struggles, they only want to display their shining side, this is what the legacy of those celebrity magazines has taught us and we are getting good at it. Social media is becoming a place to display our glossy lives and window-shop for ideas from others to improve our display. It is hard to be real, it is hard to accept mistakes, it is hard to share our struggles, it is hard to ask for help, and it is hard to stand for others. But isn't all this makes us human? All this makes us a family and cultivates a sense of community. What type of community it is where you can't share your true feelings? How and when did we forget all this? We are so busy showing others that we are happy, that we forget to pause and enjoy our happiness. The process and pressure of sharing our status on social media are consuming us completely. Let's take a pause and enjoy. Of course, share stories and pictures, but also show the real you in that along with all that glamor and glitter, otherwise, what's the difference between the reel life and real life. Finally, don't fall for the propaganda that we must be happy all the time. This is not possible, as the weather changes our situations and moods also change and that's what is life. Remember, social media is for you, you are not for social media.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

© Vinay Thakur, All rights reserved, Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

12th Anniversary!

Wow! Today is the 12th anniversary of this blog. What an incredible journey this has been for me. I started this blog as a new adventure, as a platform to share my views and opinions for others to read and develop their own views and opinions. After more than 600 posts and more than 450,000 words, here we are, celebrating 12 years of our togetherness. I have received a lot of encouragement and feedback from my readers of all ages, starting from teenagers to senior citizens, and each of them taught me something valuable. Thank you for all this support and encouragement. I plan to continue this journey as long as I can. There were many ups and downs, struggles and triumphs, and I shared most of them on my blog. I plan to keep on sharing as people commented that my journey has helped them to deal with some problems with their life, I am glad to know this. We all have something unique to share, I agree that sharing our experiences requires courage. Exposing our vulnerability is not easy, but this is what leaders are supposed to do. Our vulnerability provides courage to deal with their vulnerabilities and succeed in whatever their aims are in their lives. Importantly, this allows us to spread love and kindness, two of the most important feelings our world needs desperately at this time. 

Happy 12th anniversary! Keep on sharing and spreading love and kindness.

Thank you for everything!