Social media and our cult fetish

Social media has revolutionized the way we interact with each other. On one side, it has made the world more accessible, we can now reach almost anyone, living anywhere, anytime from the comforts of our homes. But on the other side, it has affected the way we think and behave, dependency on social media has reached the level of addiction in many cases. On the one hand, it improved our connectivity with the outside world, the world that was beyond our reach without letters and telephones, but on the other hand, it negatively affected our interactions with our immediate surroundings, we often get distracted and are not present during our one-to-one interactions. 

Validation offered by social media is one aspect that made it so powerful and popular. Many of us crave social media likes, followers, comments, and other validations that we feel define our lives. It seems social media satisfies our cult fetish. The race to increase the number of followers on various social media platforms is a testimony to this cult fetish. In general, social media does not cultivate authenticity. Once we consciously start posting things for people's approval, we perform for our audience, just like actors perform in the movies. We feel the need to entertain others so that they can like us, validate our performance, and say something nice about us. Statements, photos, controversies, and debates start looking choreographed and purposeful to grab maximum attention. Of course, there are exceptions, but the general trend is to put on a show under the name of sharing personal stories. The content has become so polished and well crafted that there are social media celebrities and influencers who seem to influence others about how to think and live life. In one way, this has democratized the celebrity sphere that was only reserved for politicians and movie personalities, but it has also brought all the toxicity and negativity that is associated with cultish behavior in the everyday lives of people. 

The term "followers" has a cultish connotation. Everyone is looking for followers, they are not looking for readers, like-minded people, colleagues, collaborators, or group members, but followers. Followers who can like, praise, and validate their existence on social media. Even social media platforms like Facebook which started as a friendship-oriented platform have the option of following someone without being friends. I don't know whether it was an intentional result or an unintentional byproduct, but social media has started countless mini-cults. Cults where people live in their own echo chambers, they are siloed from the rest of the world, where they only hear what they like, create their own facts and truths, and validate them for each other. There is no need to have any emotional relationship to be a follower having a common enemy is enough to be in that cult. These cults hate each other, each thinks that the other is an enemy of humanity and only their own cult can save this planet from moral destruction. Such cults mainly exist based on religion, political ideologies, political leaders, and racial, social, and personal beliefs. One can see the increasing polarization in all societies due to this cultish culture that is becoming dominant. People are eager to criticize, but not ready to face criticism, eager to point out flaws, but not willing to accept their own flaws, and eager to destroy the existing systems, but do not know what they want to substitute them with. If you are on social media, but free from this cult fetish, then you are lucky and among the very few who can make good use of social media without getting affected by its negative side effects, be vigilant, protect your independence, and save yourself from this cult fetish.     

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Is our work becoming the new religion?

Religion is still one of the biggest institutions. It is still relevant because it gives many the group identity that humans crave so desperately. It gives people the feeling of belonging and offers social and emotional support to a group that is bound by common beliefs. However, recent trends and surveys indicate that more and more people are moving away from organized religion. There can be many reasons to move away from organized religion, and society's intellectual and economic progress is one of them. But the need for that group identity still remains, and it seems our jobs are filling that void. If we look carefully, for most of us, our careers define our identities, we are known as doctors, scientists, actors, lawyers, diplomats, teachers, nurses, coders, or whatever job we are doing. This identity is no longer limited to our workplace, this is how people know us even outside our work circle. This begs a question, is our work becoming the new religion?

This question is a more hypothetical one at this stage, but I find it very intriguing. When we start deriving our friend circle, social life, thinking patterns, and other aspects of life from our work, our work becomes the most dominant part of our lives. It is no longer just an economic support vehicle, it also becomes our social and intellectual support system. This can have its pros and cons. One of the pros is that life will be structured as our work is going to be in the center, everything will be dictated by the demands and concessions of the work. But the flip side is that work controls everything, our family and social life. Almost every work, especially if it is a high-paying job involves stress, anxiety, and deadlines, this stress and anxiety going to spill over into our personal lives. This is why I think there is a lot of talk about work-life balance, as if when we work there is no life in it, life only exists outside of our work. 

Are we giving too much importance to our jobs? Are we dependent on our source of income so much that it controls every aspect of our lives? Yes, that's where we are as a society at this juncture. For most, our jobs and income control the quality of our lives. I agree that money is a necessity, and being poor sucks. But we have been brainwashed about our needs. Most of the time desires are presented as needs to live a happy life. This is where our income attains paramount importance. There is nothing wrong in chasing our desires and working hard to fulfill them. But when desires are presented as a basic tenant for happiness, and we all buy this logic, we are in a continuous mode of chasing. As desires are endless, the chase becomes endless. As the chase is endless our want for money becomes endless. As our job provides that money, it becomes the central and most controlling factor in our lives. Once we are trapped in this it is hard to come out as it is an endless cycle of a race with constantly shifting goalposts. As long as this phenomenon persists, I can safely say that our job has become the new religion. To come out of this cycle one needs to perform an objective evaluation of their priorities and create an independent space for other key aspects like family, friends, social work, and other hobbies along with the job. 

Job is important, but it is not everything. Do your job with the utmost sincerity and honesty. Work hard when at work. But also set boundaries and respect them. Go on that backpacking trip you always wanted to go, visit your friends and relatives whose company you enjoy and cherish, write that blog you were planning to write for many years, read the book you wanted to read, binge-watch the web series whose first episode you loved and can't wait, and spend some quality time to decondition yourself and unlearn that brainwashing. In short, do the stuff that makes you happy. Once religion ruled every aspect of human life and we all know how that turned out for most of society, let's not make the same mistake again with our jobs.    

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Our choices and their consequences

"Choice" is a very loaded word, we use it in many contexts. In our lives, we need to make many choices, almost every moment offers us a choice, and even in instances where we feel there is no choice, we do make a choice, knowingly or unknowingly. Apart from genetics and a few other things we need to make some choices daily, and our choices have consequences. The choice can be as simple as how many spoons of sugar to have to as complicated as who to marry or which job offer to select among the multiple options. Based on the results (consequences) of our choice, we decide whether it was a good or a bad choice. That is, most of us grade our choices based on their consequences, as it is always easy to connect the dots backward. 

However, I feel that there are some choices where you may experience unfavorable or bad consequences, but are still worthy to make, not because of the consequences we face but because of the stand we take and the impact it may have. Being right or being nice and saying no to various requests from our dear ones are two of the choices many of us hate to make. It is easy to say no to a stranger, but it is not easy to say no to friends and family or even to colleagues. We always struggle to value our own time and say yes to many things we don't want to do just not to hurt the feelings of our dear ones. We hesitate to reject requests that demand our time, attention, and resources, even for the right reasons. But, the ability to say no is very important for our well-being and personal growth. And if people really care for us, they should understand the reason behind our refusal, after all, what type of relationship it is if it cannot offer personal space to each other and the ability to say no. Similarly, it is not easy to decide which battle to pursue and where to yield, especially when we deal with our family members or when someone we know is being a bigot or racist and needs a reality check. It is easy to question or stand up against racism or discrimination when someone we don't know is doing it. It is easy to advocate for change in someone else's life and target some big and powerful organizations or celebrities for their objectionable behavior. But we hesitate or ignore the same behavior when the person is someone close or known to us, for example, our parents, friends, or partners. We try to downplay such incidents or find some reason to justify them as harmless acts. This makes us a hypocrite person, a person with double standards, but we are more comfortable being a hypocrite than being uncomfortable. Again, this is a choice we make. Being a hypocrite, bigot or racist is a choice and we do these things not only by doing such acts but by ignoring or supporting them.

It is easy to have principles and propagate them, but it is hard to live by them. It is easy to have standards, but it is hard to apply those standards to ourselves and evaluate our own behavior. It is easy to advocate for change, but it is hard to be the change. It is easy to criticize others, but it is hard to be a self-critic. Some choices are hard, but are necessary, especially if you have some principles and believe in them. If you believe in gender equality, you need to stand up if you witness gender discrimination. If you are against racism, speak up against racist behavior. It might sound easy to stand up against wrong things, after all, who doesn't want to do this, but it is not always that simple, especially when no one else is doing anything. People may hesitate to speak due to fear of losing a job, a relationship, or any other loss. If you choose to stand up, the chances are that you may find yourself standing alone. Being alone sucks, it is not easy to challenge institutionalized things like discrimination alone, and even standing against a powerful person or your own family and friends is not easy. There are consequences, loneliness is one of them, and that's a choice we need to make. Do we have our values just for display, or they are also for practice? Do our principles mean anything to us, or they are just topics of debate and discussion? If they do really mean something to us, then we should choose accordingly. Of course, consequences will follow, but then that's the choice we make.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Politics and compassion: Can they go together?

Social media has offered us a platform to share many things. People share their views and opinions freely on social media, so much so that everything seems to be a politically sensitive subject. Starting from a movie to the election result, many things generate politically colored comments from people. While becoming overtly political, are we losing our empathy and compassion toward each other? I feel that each one of us should ask this question ourselves. It is perfectly okay to be vocal about our political views, criticize our opponents, and argue against policies and regulations that we disagree with. But is it necessary to get personal while doing this? Is it necessary to bring politics into every issue we discuss? Is it necessary to ridicule others for what gender they identify with, what pronouns they use, what economic system they support, or what state or country they come from? Nowadays, I see people doing this regularly, even benign social media interactions end with some politically overloaded remarks. Some tasteless and crass jokes are made to make fun of gender or sexual preference about which people don't bother to educate themselves. People comment without having a basic understanding of a subject, just because we have a mouthpiece does not mean that we need to shout whatever comes to our mind. This shows how much anger and ignorance are out there. Yes, both anger and ignorance are required when you troll or ridicule someone without even knowing about them. Opposing something does not always mean showing contempt, there is a subtle difference between the two, and nowadays, people cross that line all the time. It also shows how much empathy and compassion are lost just because there is some disagreement. 

I do have my opinions on various topics, and I disagree with many around me about my political and social views. Sometimes these discussions and arguments get passionate and heated, but I never try to make them personal. I prefer to limit my arguments to the topic and take care not to make it about the person with whom I am arguing. I understand that it is difficult not to get personal in heated arguments, and it is difficult not to target personally anyone who is opposing our beliefs, especially when those beliefs are related to politics or religion. We see this happening on TV channels all the time. But just because somebody behaves like a jerk and insensitive person on public television does not mean that we should also do the same. It is better to move away from the discussion with a jerk than to compete to show who is the bigger jerk. 

Politicians talk about compassion and collaboration all the time, but in reality, rarely practice these things. Demonizing their opponents, pitching one group against another, and polarizing opinions so much that people hate each other are some of the common tactics used by politicians all over the world. Hate politics is not new and works very well in most countries. Politicians are to be blamed for this, but why do people fall for these things. Why do people don't realize the "divide and rule" ply which has been used for centuries to divert attention from the real issues and keep citizens engaged with each other so that no one asks tough questions? This also begs the question, can politics and compassion go together? According to me, yes, they can. It is up to us, the people, to make them go together. Our political adversaries are not enemies, they are our rival teams, we fight for the same trophy, that is, the opportunity to dictate and implement policies that we feel are right for our society. We are not there to eliminate each other, we are there to make each other better, to raise the level of competition, and to make our country and society a better place. If anyone does not understand these basic things they are not qualified to be called decent human beings. Let's show some compassion towards our opponents and compete with grace and dignity. After all, we are humans, we claim to be more civilized than animals, let's not put a question mark on this.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

Why do I write?

Someone asked me a few years back, why do I write? I am not a professional writer and do not have a huge subscription base, still, I am writing this blog for more than 10 years. I understand that these questions are not out of any malicious intent, they are out of plain curiosity. People wonder, what I get by writing a blog or social media posts where I share my ideas and thoughts on various subjects ranging from personal stories, science, mental health, politics, and religion. I have a straightforward answer, I write for myself. I write because I enjoy the process, any outcome is a bonus. 

Sharing our thoughts and ideas with others may have a powerful impact on some that we may never know. When we share our experiences and stories with others with honesty and sincerity, we expose our vulnerability to them. This is a powerful experience. This can inspire them to embrace their own vulnerabilities or understand the meaning behind something they are feeling but do not know what it is. Vulnerability is a unique emotion. Many people are not comfortable with being vulnerable as they equate vulnerability with weakness. On the contrary, sharing our vulnerability is a brave act. However, it is also true that sharing anything on a public platform can also result in some backlash or trolling, but that is the risk we take in this process. I feel the rewards outweigh the risks in this case, at least for me. 

I do not write to get more readers, or for praise or criticism, these are the byproducts of the writing process, not its aim. For me writing a blog, my diary, or any social media post is an activity I enjoy and find very rewarding. I only write when I want to, there are neither any deadlines that I need to meet nor any projects I need to finish. I do not mean to say that writing with deadlines or for any specific project is bad or not honest writing, I want to highlight that writing can be done just for pleasure. Also, it can be therapeutic, writing down our thoughts and emotions can relieve stress and anxiety. I share my writing with others with the intention that it may help someone to cope with their journey as the writings by others helped me to do the same. I read many books, blogs, and social media posts. My readings have influenced me a lot, but I don't think most authors of those writings have any idea about this as I never had any chance to communicate with most of them. Similarly, I am sure there are some who read my post and find something useful in them, they may or may not be able to convey that to me but I am happy to think that this is a possibility. So, if you are someone who is debating whether to share your stories or not, and want someone to encourage you to take that leap, I hope my experience helps you to take that leap. Do share our stories, storytelling is a powerful tool, and let's use it to help each other. Happy storytelling.

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com