Saturday, February 26, 2022

Languishing-a state that many experience but have had no name for

I came across the NY Times article by Adam Grant about languishing. My classmate from the wellness coaching certification program mentioned this during one of our live sessions. The article raises some interesting points, especially about mental health. Most of us have a perception that if we are not under depression, or not facing any anxiety or panic attacks our mental health is fine and we don't need to do anything about it. However, this may not be the case, mental health is also an ongoing saga just like our physical health. In the same way, as it is not enough to have one healthy meal or one gym session to remain physically fit, we need to practice these things regularly to reap any benefits from it. In the same way, for better mental health we need to work continuously, every day on it. There is a spectrum of mental health and we need to recognize which band of the spectrum, we are dealing with on any given day. We may be happy someday, sad another, or not so sure on some days,. That is why the phrase "languishing" is so important, it defines our mental state where we are not sure, we are neither happy nor sad, neither depressed nor upbeat, neither anxious nor calm, somewhere in between. It is important to acknowledge our mental state because if we don't, it does not fend away future problems, it only postpones the crises. One of the reasons for this is that even though we live in the world of social media, personally, each of us lives in a more isolated mental world than before.  

This is why it becomes more important to acknowledge and examine our cultural burdens. There is a stigma associated with anything related to mental health in many cultures. The stigma is so high that even something like genuine mental fatigue is perceived as laziness or sloppiness, but not mental fatigue. It's not just about the stigma, it's about the conditioning our mind goes through due to the toxic environment this stigma creates. 

I grew up in an environment where mental health was never ever discussed, people were either sane or insane, nothing in between. If you had any mental health-related issue, you were labeled as insane, anyone committing suicide was labeled as weak, escapist, and whatnot. This environment created a very negative image of mental health-related issues in my mind, it took a lot of time, reading, and discussions to override this negative image, and I am grateful to my kids for educating me about this issue. I have traveled a long journey to overcome that negative perception, many books, videos, and discussions, and now I am doing a wellness counseling certification course, the journey has been an exciting and rewarding experience for me. Not only did I learn a lot about myself and my behavior, but now I also understand others' behavior in a much better way.  

So, don't hesitate to express your emotional state, it's not always that we feel good, the answer to "how are you" doesn't have to be a standard answer, it can be different every day, or even different at different times of the day. In a way, we all can help each other to improve our mental fitness, just a little understanding and compassion can go a long way, give a little pause to our judgmental instincts, and try to understand each other rather than judge. This one small step can do a lot of good. We all languish, but we did not have a name for this feeling, now we have it, let's use it.

Thank you for reading. Please share your opinions on this topic. 

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