This is how you teach kids rape culture

I read this news article and was thinking really this is what we want to teach our kids? I see news articles about jeans bans, skirt bans, or some other bans (even burka or veil bans) in many schools and colleges. All over the world, this trend is on the rise, especially in so-called conservative or traditional societies and cultures. These bans are for female clothing and behavior compared to male clothing. So, there is also the issue of gender discrimination here. But the issue of gender discrimination is not the whole point here, the issue is what type of message we are trying to give to our kids? Do we want to tell them that women are responsible for (or they control) men's behavior? Do we want to tell women and girls that if these so-called men get "distracted" by their dress and do something inappropriate it's their fault as they were not dressed "properly"? Do these people who are so enthusiastic to implement these dress codes know the consequences of this practice?

Putting restrictions on women (about their dressing, behavior, etc.) or on any section of society by the dominant class is not a new phenomenon. It happened many times in human history and sadly it's still happening. This is how one group or gender tries to maintain its hold on another group or gender. We need to stop this as this is not a sign of a healthy society where everyone should have equal rights and opportunities. People who defend these dress codes and want to control the freedom of women defend their actions by saying that certain types of dresses and behaviors provoke men's feelings and force them to commit a mistake or crime. So, the offenders are painted as poor victims and surprisingly blame is entirely placed on the real victim in such cases. Strange but this is how these people think. This also gives an impression to all men and young boys that it's okay to lose control under certain cases where women violate boundaries set for them by their society or religion. It's not wrong to violate their rights or attack their bodies just because they didn't follow these rules. Most of these rules are heavily biased and targeted towards controlling women's behavior. This is terrible and I wonder how people can recommend something as primitive as this? 

Sexual harassment is a very serious issue and we need to take it very seriously. Blaming females for crimes committed against them is not going to help at all. We also need to educate males on how to control their emotions and behave with the opposite gender. This has to be part of their education. Nothing should be taken for granted just because of the external appearance of someone, be it a man or woman. I think we as a society are civilized enough to understand that we should not judge anyone based on their gender, race, nationality, or external appearance. As humans, we need to respect other human beings and this means respecting their freedom, choices, and other aspects of their identity. I agree that we are also animals inhabiting this planet like other animal species but there is a huge difference between us and other animals and we should always remember this before justifying some cruel animal-like behavior. Always putting the blame on the victim for the way she was dressed (or saying she was too drunk, walking alone, etc.) not only shows how insecure our society is for women but also shows our inability to search for real reasons for this problem. By putting the blame for these types of incidents on the victim people are indirectly encouraging or protecting the offender which is not going to stop these incidents.  These types of comments convey an indirect message to all males that it's not their fault if they misbehave or lose control of their emotions under certain circumstances, this is what I mean by teaching rape culture and we need to stop this.

We need to educate both men and women about their rights and responsibilities. Teaching only one gender about their rights and putting the whole burden of responsibility and morality on the other gender is not a solution as it creates a very unbalanced society. It might have worked in the past when the structure of society was totally different from today, but this is not the solution for today's society. We need to change this attitude no matter how difficult it is. Don't teach girls not to get raped, teach boys not to rape. Both genders are part of this problem so both of them should be equally involved in creating the solution otherwise it won't work. There is no weaker or stronger sex here, both are equal and should be treated like that. When most people understand this then only we can dream of a safer world for women, till then we need to work to educate people around us. Just making laws and punishing a few criminals won't solve this problem.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)

Reference:
1. http://feministing.com/2013/04/10/this-is-how-you-teach-rape-culture-to-12-year-olds/