Recently, I wrote a post about one incident in my home where my son called Krishna a thief and murderer. He had his own justifications for his statement and we both discussed in detail how this can be true or false, and how the same incident or a person can be looked at from different angles and each angle or view can yield a totally different conclusion. My discussion with him was very interesting. This post generated some passionate comments on my Facebook page as well as on my blog where some people expressed concern about how we should train our kids so that they should be able to think properly and understand the real meaning of mythological texts rather than commenting something stupid like this. Actually, I expected these types of comments, so these reactions were not surprising to me. Today's children are more evolved than their previous generations, they are more informed, intelligent, and better equipped to find answers to their questions than we were. This is true at least in my case, I never had all the tools and resources that my kids have to educate themselves.
Every parent or guardian feels it's their moral responsibility to educate and train their kids. We all believe that we should teach good things to our kids. it's a very noble thought but the only slight problem is that the definition of "Good" changes from person to person, religion to religion, and culture to culture. There is no universal guidebook for these things. Based on our upbringing, culture, and many other factors we decide what is good and what is bad. We form our opinions based on our own experience and then try to pass the same things to our kids. We want them to follow our religion and beliefs and also expect them to follow our culture and our advice.
If we look at this entire process most parent's emphasis is not on teaching their kids how to think but they focus more on teaching what to think. We like to teach them everything that we believe in. I was fortunate that I was born and raised in one of the most progressive states in India, Maharashtra, and that too in the most progressive city of that state, Pune. Maharashtra has a long history and tradition of producing very progressive thinkers and philosophers who introduced revolutionary ideas and challenged very well-established customs and traditions which they thought were outdated or harmful to certain sections of society. People like Jyotiba and Savitribai Phule, Dhodo Keshave Karve, Gopal Ganesh Agarkar, Lokamanya Tilak, Lady Ramabai, Dr. Ambedkar, and many others played a very important part in initiating many social movements and introducing social reforms. There is a vast amount of literature available in Marathi that documents a detailed history of all these events and also tells stories about all the hardships and opposition these and many other reformers faced in fighting against well-established rituals and customs. I was lucky to read many books related to these people and incidents in their lives and they all inspired me on many levels. All those Marathi books (some of them were translations of books from other languages) that I read during my school and college days shaped my thinking. The English language came very late in my life. I started speaking and reading English only when I came to the USA in 2003, before that most of my reading was in Marathi. My parents never really forced me to follow any particular regimental lifestyle where they dictated everything, they were strict but only in the case of my studies because they knew that only education could save me from poverty. As long as I was doing fine with my studies I was allowed to read whatever I wanted and these books became my teachers and guide. I consider myself very lucky in this regard. Many of these books are responsible for the way I think today and I am grateful to them.
I want my kids to develop their own thinking, to have their own vision and this is only possible when I don't force my own vision or thinking on them. As a parent, I guide them whenever necessary. I make sure that they get all the help whenever needed and get exposed to all cultures and customs. I take care that knowingly or unknowingly I don't force my prejudices and assumptions on them. This is the way I deal with my kids, maybe it's not the perfect way. Maybe some people will think that kids don't need to be given so much freedom as they are too young and immature to decide what is good or bad for them. Maybe, but as per my personal experience, today's kids are very well-informed and can deal with many complex issues. And when I say that I won't dictate or force them that doesn't mean that they have total freedom to do whatever they want. When I say "no" to them I explain why my answer is no, and also listen to their opinion, if they convince me that I was wrong then I change my decision and it does happen in certain cases, and I feel happy most of the time when this happens. For me it's a great feeling when I learn certain things from my own kids or for that matter any kid, this has taught me not to underestimate their intelligence just because they are younger than me.
In my home everything can be discussed, everything can be argued, and nothing is sacred and unquestionable. Kids are allowed to bring any topic to the table for discussion and I assure them that every question will be given full consideration. If I don't know the answer we try to find out the answers together and we all enjoy this whole process. Many of my friends also play a very important part in this process and my kids have total freedom to ask them their questions and take their suggestions on issues they think that my friends can help. So far it's working great and I am sure there will be many parents who may not agree with this method of parenting, but as I say this is my way, and it works for me. I found this method myself and I am sure every parent can find their own way to train their kids. Every kid is different and there is no universal parenting way or method that can be used to train all kids, but one thing is sure we need to train them so that they become responsible and capable citizens of this world. So, please find a method that works best for you and your kids. Good luck.
Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic.
References:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jyotirao_Phule; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savitribai_Phule
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhondo_Keshav_Karve
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gopal_Ganesh_Agarkar
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bal_Gangadhar_Tilak
5. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pandita_Ramabai
(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)
Every parent or guardian feels it's their moral responsibility to educate and train their kids. We all believe that we should teach good things to our kids. it's a very noble thought but the only slight problem is that the definition of "Good" changes from person to person, religion to religion, and culture to culture. There is no universal guidebook for these things. Based on our upbringing, culture, and many other factors we decide what is good and what is bad. We form our opinions based on our own experience and then try to pass the same things to our kids. We want them to follow our religion and beliefs and also expect them to follow our culture and our advice.
If we look at this entire process most parent's emphasis is not on teaching their kids how to think but they focus more on teaching what to think. We like to teach them everything that we believe in. I was fortunate that I was born and raised in one of the most progressive states in India, Maharashtra, and that too in the most progressive city of that state, Pune. Maharashtra has a long history and tradition of producing very progressive thinkers and philosophers who introduced revolutionary ideas and challenged very well-established customs and traditions which they thought were outdated or harmful to certain sections of society. People like Jyotiba and Savitribai Phule, Dhodo Keshave Karve, Gopal Ganesh Agarkar, Lokamanya Tilak, Lady Ramabai, Dr. Ambedkar, and many others played a very important part in initiating many social movements and introducing social reforms. There is a vast amount of literature available in Marathi that documents a detailed history of all these events and also tells stories about all the hardships and opposition these and many other reformers faced in fighting against well-established rituals and customs. I was lucky to read many books related to these people and incidents in their lives and they all inspired me on many levels. All those Marathi books (some of them were translations of books from other languages) that I read during my school and college days shaped my thinking. The English language came very late in my life. I started speaking and reading English only when I came to the USA in 2003, before that most of my reading was in Marathi. My parents never really forced me to follow any particular regimental lifestyle where they dictated everything, they were strict but only in the case of my studies because they knew that only education could save me from poverty. As long as I was doing fine with my studies I was allowed to read whatever I wanted and these books became my teachers and guide. I consider myself very lucky in this regard. Many of these books are responsible for the way I think today and I am grateful to them.
I want my kids to develop their own thinking, to have their own vision and this is only possible when I don't force my own vision or thinking on them. As a parent, I guide them whenever necessary. I make sure that they get all the help whenever needed and get exposed to all cultures and customs. I take care that knowingly or unknowingly I don't force my prejudices and assumptions on them. This is the way I deal with my kids, maybe it's not the perfect way. Maybe some people will think that kids don't need to be given so much freedom as they are too young and immature to decide what is good or bad for them. Maybe, but as per my personal experience, today's kids are very well-informed and can deal with many complex issues. And when I say that I won't dictate or force them that doesn't mean that they have total freedom to do whatever they want. When I say "no" to them I explain why my answer is no, and also listen to their opinion, if they convince me that I was wrong then I change my decision and it does happen in certain cases, and I feel happy most of the time when this happens. For me it's a great feeling when I learn certain things from my own kids or for that matter any kid, this has taught me not to underestimate their intelligence just because they are younger than me.
In my home everything can be discussed, everything can be argued, and nothing is sacred and unquestionable. Kids are allowed to bring any topic to the table for discussion and I assure them that every question will be given full consideration. If I don't know the answer we try to find out the answers together and we all enjoy this whole process. Many of my friends also play a very important part in this process and my kids have total freedom to ask them their questions and take their suggestions on issues they think that my friends can help. So far it's working great and I am sure there will be many parents who may not agree with this method of parenting, but as I say this is my way, and it works for me. I found this method myself and I am sure every parent can find their own way to train their kids. Every kid is different and there is no universal parenting way or method that can be used to train all kids, but one thing is sure we need to train them so that they become responsible and capable citizens of this world. So, please find a method that works best for you and your kids. Good luck.
Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic.
References:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jyotirao_Phule; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savitribai_Phule
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhondo_Keshav_Karve
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gopal_Ganesh_Agarkar
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bal_Gangadhar_Tilak
5. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pandita_Ramabai
(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)
No comments:
Post a Comment