Marriage is a very special occasion in everyone's life. It's the beginning of a new and exciting chapter in life full of excitement and new challenges. Two people tie the knot of marriage (a Hindu ritual) or make a promise to spend the rest of their lives together with a lot of hopes and dreams. However, all these hopes and dreams vanish when one realizes that another is HIV+ and now for no fault of her or his she or he is also HIV+. This ruins all the excitement and happiness of married life for both of them. AIDS is still one of the most stigmatized and dreaded diseases in many parts of the world. Many people still don't know full details about it, they don't know all modes of infection, don't even know how infectious it is, and don't know much about various treatment options available to control this disease. There are many misconceptions about this disease. There is no cure for this disease so far but due to tremendous development in antiretroviral therapy HIV infection is very manageable if proper treatment, sanitation, and diet are provided. Many developed countries managed very well to control the problem of HIV infection and its spread. Apart from the availability of medicines, education, and awareness campaigns played a major role in handling this problem. But the same is not true with many developing nations or undeveloped countries. HIV is still a very major social and medical problem in most of these countries, especially among low-income groups.
Even today arranged marriage is the most popular system for marriage in India. The situation is changing slowly but still arranged marriage is dominant. While selecting a proper match people check everything starting from horoscopes, the financial situation of the family, educational qualifications, physical appearance, and many more external attributes. But normally no one bothers to check the medical records of the bride or groom. I am sure many families will find it offensive if an opposite party (bride or groom's side) asks for a blood test report of their child along with an HIV test. This demand might put an entire process in jeopardy or even abruptly end marriage talks. This demand makes perfect sense when one family is dealing with a totally new family with very little personal information about the prospective bride or groom. Even when they know many things about the other family very little is known about the medical history of prospective son or daughter-in-law. The most important people in this whole process, the bride and groom, also know very little about each other in most cases of arranged marriage. Additionally, the conservative nature of society also limits their interaction and normally they don't share their past life experiences with each other. So, this whole process looks like shooting in the dark and expecting to hit the right target. The process worked very well when there were no other alternatives and there were not so many grey areas and uncertainties. However, in the presence of so many risk factors, it makes perfect sense to ask for a blood test just to make sure that things are fine from both sides and that neither bride nor groom gets HIV or any other unwanted infection from their partner. But this thing is not as simple as it sounds. Marriage discussions and negotiations are very complex in India. People are very sensitive about their family's image and their social status and because of the social stigma attached to HIV and AIDS almost no family feels comfortable when asked about this question. They are very reluctant to produce the test results of their son or daughter. They take such requests very personally and treat them as a direct attack on honor and the reputation of their family's esteem and honor. Also, the main characters, the bride and groom are not involved in any of these discussions.
Many things like this prevent the use of simple things like a blood test to remove the risk of HIV infection in the case of arranged marriages. This results in many marriages, especially in rural or low-income neighborhoods where the wife gets HIV infection from her husband and then it is passed on to their children. Failure to make use of blood tests brings in so much suffering and pain for so many people. A beautiful thing like marriage turns into a curse for some people and the damage done to health is not reversible. Of course, one can break the marriage, and leave that person but the acquired HIV infection stays with them forever. Right now there is no cure for HIV infection and many of these people have to depend on government assistance for their treatment. It puts a lot of financial burden on the government health care system. The system itself is not perfect and this additional burden makes it more messy. But this system is all most of these people have and they depend on it heavily, therefore, it should keep running otherwise many people will die because of lack of treatment.
Some simple steps, like making HIV testing free and easily available to all adults, making sure that brides and grooms are HIV negative, proper sex education in high schools and colleges, availability, and distribution of condoms, and awareness programs to remove the stigma attached to AIDS, should help to control the spread of this infection. People need to know more about this disease, they need to get correct information, and we need to attack this problem from all directions just making medicines available alone won't solve this problem. Counseling should be provided to all HIV-infected people so that they don't lose all hope and interest in their lives. Counseling could help them to live their life normally. They should feel accepted in society so that they are not forced to hide their disease. They don't need our sympathy but need our support. We need to treat them with respect like we treat people with other diseases. They should not be expelled from schools, workplaces, or communities just because of this infection. They should get equal opportunity and fair treatment like all of us. I feel we have enough information about HIV and AIDS. This should help us to remove the social stigma attached to it. If necessary government can make suitable laws to prevent any discrimination because of this disease. Even taking this simple step of a blood test during arranged marriages can protect many innocent brides or grooms from getting this infection and disease. This can save thousands of lives and will prevent them from turning beautiful occasions like marriage into the most unfortunate incident of their life.
Even today arranged marriage is the most popular system for marriage in India. The situation is changing slowly but still arranged marriage is dominant. While selecting a proper match people check everything starting from horoscopes, the financial situation of the family, educational qualifications, physical appearance, and many more external attributes. But normally no one bothers to check the medical records of the bride or groom. I am sure many families will find it offensive if an opposite party (bride or groom's side) asks for a blood test report of their child along with an HIV test. This demand might put an entire process in jeopardy or even abruptly end marriage talks. This demand makes perfect sense when one family is dealing with a totally new family with very little personal information about the prospective bride or groom. Even when they know many things about the other family very little is known about the medical history of prospective son or daughter-in-law. The most important people in this whole process, the bride and groom, also know very little about each other in most cases of arranged marriage. Additionally, the conservative nature of society also limits their interaction and normally they don't share their past life experiences with each other. So, this whole process looks like shooting in the dark and expecting to hit the right target. The process worked very well when there were no other alternatives and there were not so many grey areas and uncertainties. However, in the presence of so many risk factors, it makes perfect sense to ask for a blood test just to make sure that things are fine from both sides and that neither bride nor groom gets HIV or any other unwanted infection from their partner. But this thing is not as simple as it sounds. Marriage discussions and negotiations are very complex in India. People are very sensitive about their family's image and their social status and because of the social stigma attached to HIV and AIDS almost no family feels comfortable when asked about this question. They are very reluctant to produce the test results of their son or daughter. They take such requests very personally and treat them as a direct attack on honor and the reputation of their family's esteem and honor. Also, the main characters, the bride and groom are not involved in any of these discussions.
Many things like this prevent the use of simple things like a blood test to remove the risk of HIV infection in the case of arranged marriages. This results in many marriages, especially in rural or low-income neighborhoods where the wife gets HIV infection from her husband and then it is passed on to their children. Failure to make use of blood tests brings in so much suffering and pain for so many people. A beautiful thing like marriage turns into a curse for some people and the damage done to health is not reversible. Of course, one can break the marriage, and leave that person but the acquired HIV infection stays with them forever. Right now there is no cure for HIV infection and many of these people have to depend on government assistance for their treatment. It puts a lot of financial burden on the government health care system. The system itself is not perfect and this additional burden makes it more messy. But this system is all most of these people have and they depend on it heavily, therefore, it should keep running otherwise many people will die because of lack of treatment.
Some simple steps, like making HIV testing free and easily available to all adults, making sure that brides and grooms are HIV negative, proper sex education in high schools and colleges, availability, and distribution of condoms, and awareness programs to remove the stigma attached to AIDS, should help to control the spread of this infection. People need to know more about this disease, they need to get correct information, and we need to attack this problem from all directions just making medicines available alone won't solve this problem. Counseling should be provided to all HIV-infected people so that they don't lose all hope and interest in their lives. Counseling could help them to live their life normally. They should feel accepted in society so that they are not forced to hide their disease. They don't need our sympathy but need our support. We need to treat them with respect like we treat people with other diseases. They should not be expelled from schools, workplaces, or communities just because of this infection. They should get equal opportunity and fair treatment like all of us. I feel we have enough information about HIV and AIDS. This should help us to remove the social stigma attached to it. If necessary government can make suitable laws to prevent any discrimination because of this disease. Even taking this simple step of a blood test during arranged marriages can protect many innocent brides or grooms from getting this infection and disease. This can save thousands of lives and will prevent them from turning beautiful occasions like marriage into the most unfortunate incident of their life.
Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.
(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)
1. HIV infection data
2. UN-AIDS: data and analysis
3. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/visakhapatnam/HIV-grooms-tying-knots-of-sorrow/articleshow/17435687.cms
4. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/bangalore/HIV-man-shows-way-to-fight-stigma/articleshow/17436500.cms
5. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/guwahati/World-AIDS-Day-Education-is-vaccine-against-HIV/AIDS/articleshow/17433255.cms
6. http://www.who.int/hiv/data/en/
7. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-01-16/scientists-hail-potential-cure-for-aids/4466766
Guess you assumed that the infection happened before marriage itself..
ReplyDeleteHow about a case where it happens after the marriage (blood transfusion or something..)..?
That'll be a different perspective, that will bring up new dimensions to the issue.
yes..here I am talking about cases where one partner gets infected because of some mistakes/choices or even unfortunate incidents (like blood transfusion, etc.) of his/her partner's life before marriage and this is one of the way by which many females get infected in rural India or in slums.
DeleteProper awareness and education programs should be able to take care of post marriage incidents which can help people to avoid situations where they can get or spread HIV infection.
It is for this reason that positive psychology places emphasis on cultivation of what is positive in us.therapy
ReplyDelete