Are marriages made in heaven?

According to me not at all, marriages are decided on earth by humans, we make and break them. One can marry once or multiple times, or not marry at all. It is a personal choice and a legal matter. There is nothing divine either in marriage or human life, the first is a legal contract and the second one is a biological phenomenon. The human mind is very unsteady and it tries to run from one place to another, so to reduce this instability in long-term relationships concept of marriage was introduced. Centuries ago when societies were very conservative, social male-female interaction was very restricted and limited, females were allowed to interact with only males from their own family. This created a unique system of ‘arranged marriage’ where everything was decided by elders and the bride-groom had very little say in their own marriage. I think this resulted in the belief that to whom you will get married is your destiny (because it is not in your hand) that’s why they say marriage is made in heaven. All the rituals, oaths, and celebrations associated with marriage are just to make us realize the importance of that relationship. Like any other relationship, marriage requires a lot of understanding and adjustment to make it successful. As society progresses (intellectually and materially) concept of marriage also evolved with time.

Marriage is a human-made concept and institution there is nothing divine or spiritual about it, its partnership at a different level. It’s widely accepted in all societies and cultures. Therefore, most societies feel the need to respect and preserve it. In many societies, it helps in the smooth functioning of society, brings some stability to human relationships, and nurtures the concept of family. We are not yet successful completely in curbing our animal instincts so most of us need these types of intuitions and laws to curb our animal instincts and have harmony in our social and personal lives. 

Traditionally concept of marriage was to allow the development of long-term relationships between a man and woman to create a family. But today this definition is changing to a commitment to a long-term and honest relationship between two individuals. It is being debated whether these individuals need to be a man and woman. According to me, marriage can be between any two individuals as long as both are willing to enter and honor the commitment. This is what I believe and there can be different opinions on this and I totally understand it. People are entitled to have their own opinions and express them in a democratic manner. If you think logically then you might understand what I mean. I wonder how can we say that same-sex people can’t get married. Why not? If they are willing to enter into a long-term relationship and honor their commitment, why can't they get married. 

Our society was male-dominant for centuries and marriage was also designed heavily to favor males, where all changes (name change, family change, loss of property rights, etc.) were forced on females. As wives, women's role was restricted to specific duties which were mainly related to household chores. Things are now changing very fast but I think females suffered a lot because of unfairly biased rules where they have to compromise so much just for the sake of a long-term relationship with a man to bring some stability in their life.  

Marriage is also not an institute only designed to produce legitimate kids. Becoming a parent is a personal choice. It requires some maturity and capacity to bear the burden and responsibility of a parent. Everybody eligible to get married is not ready or eligible to become a parent, so marriage and parenthood are two different things and we should not mix them together. Historically both these things are linked but I think we are mature enough to understand that these two things are separate and have nothing to do with each other.

I would like to end this post with one interesting quote "You don’t really need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely".

Thanks for reading and don't forget to share your views and comments.

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)