Saturday, February 8, 2014

Violence and silence

I listened to this TED talk by Jackson Katz, this talk was a total revelation for me, by far the best TED talk I heard to date. This guy said almost everything which I think but struggled to express in words (actually he told much more than I think) about the problem of domestic violence and sexual abuse in such an effective way. Jack said all this with such clarity and simplicity that I could not have done it in 100 blog posts, a very big thanks to him for doing this. I am really impressed by the way he communicated his ideas and emotions so effectively.

I liked the way he proved that domestic violence or sexual abuse is not only a women's issue but mainly it's men's problem as many perpetrators are men. He raised very valid points like how the dominant majority always gets the privilege to remain unexamined, and how the entire blame is put on the victim in most of these cases. Because of the exclusion of the dominant majority most of these issues get stereotyped. For example, people think gender issues mean women's issues, and racism means things related to minorities. I am also impressed by the way he objected to our silence to many of these racist jokes or rape jokes or all other stories or jokes who are in some way demeaning to a particular gender or to people with a particular sexual orientation. We all hear these types of jokes or posts somewhere, many times we protest, or many times we ignore them considering them harmless, but every time we ignore any such incident we silently give our approval for that incident to get repeated (he calls this a bystander approach). Many people offer this type of silent approval and slowly these things spread, and communities are stereotyped. People suffer and get discriminated against, but most of us prefer to take a bystander approach. We can stop or minimize all these things if we stop silently encouraging such incidents. By keeping quiet if something wrong is happening in front of us we give our silent approval to that thing. People keep quiet for so many reasons, some of us are scared of name-calling or getting labeled as man-haters or any other insulting term (shoot the messenger attitude). We need more courageous men and women who break their silence and become vocal about these issues. Jack also reminds us that this is not easy to challenge these things in a powerful male-dominated culture. It's not easy to question this type of behavior when most people choose to ignore or to keep mum, raising our voice against such things requires courage. We need to create an environment where such abusive behavior is unacceptable in peer culture, where remaining silent is not an option. Most of these perpetrators are normal people in most aspects but this type of environment where others remain silent encourages them to commit these types of acts. He also calls this problem not a sensitivity issue but a leadership issue, and nicely explains this in his talk. I also like when he says that only caring deeply about these issues is not enough anymore, I also want to stress his point that we need more gutsy people who not only care but also take some action to break this complacent silence.

I think Jack mentioned many thought-provoking points in his talk and we all should think about them. Next time any of us hear any racist joke or insensitive remark about any gender or community we should protest or at least express our disagreement to indicate this is not acceptable. I think this will at least make people around us aware that these things are not funny or that it's not okay to say these things. Our job is to tell them that these things are not only not funny but also disgusting and insulting. If we can take away just this one message from his talk and work on it I think it will serve the purpose of his talk. I encourage everyone to listen to this talk, also please watch this brilliant video and let me know your opinion about this topic.

Thanks for reading.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Links:
1. http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/Violence-Silence-Jackson-Katz-P
2. This Powerful Video Shows Men What It Feels Like To Be Subjected To Sexism And Sexual Violence

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