Discriminatory traditions and my battle against them

The topic of discriminatory traditions is not limited to any particular country, region, or religion, it is a widespread phenomenon. Almost all cultures and religions of the world have traditions or rituals that are openly discriminatory on its face. The discrimination can be about gender, marital status, or something else. Even today, many of these traditions are still followed with the utmost respect and dedication. There are many who find some value in these traditions, many also believe that there is nothing discriminatory in them, some even think that these traditions need to be protected just because of what they are, age-old traditions. While there can be some intelligent arguments to justify them or some need-based justifications for their existence, personally, I have not found any logical justification to rationalize most of them. I have been battling against these discriminatory traditions from the moment I became aware of their blatant discriminatory nature. One important disclaimer before you read any further, I was born and raised in a Hindu family and spent three decades of my life in India, hence, all my personal experiences are related to discriminatory traditions belonging to those two identifiers, this does not mean that such traditions only exist in India or Hinduism. People who are familiar with similar traditions in other religions or countries should feel free to comment about them, in this post, I am going to stick with my personal experiences.

I have already written about one such festival Karva Chauth. However, Karva Chauth is just one of many festivals where discrimination based on marital status exists, many others exclude the participation of widows. I personally witnessed this discrimination because I saw both my grandmothers not celebrating any of these festivals. Both, my paternal and maternal grandmother lost their husbands early in their lives, they spent most part of their life as a widow because the second marriage was out of the question for them. I know stories of quite a few widows who lost their husbands in their early twenties (some even before that) and spent the rest of their lives as a widow, but I don't know a single man who was forced to live as a widower because he lost his wife so early in his life. This impacted me really hard. There are many festivals in India that only married women whose husbands are alive are supposed to celebrate. Just a few years back there used to be a blanket ban on widows to participate in any so-called celebrations, thankfully, this has changed now, but still, there are festivals that widows are not supposed to celebrate just because their husbands are not alive. The irony is that most of these festivals claim to be about love between a husband and wife, but hardly there is any participation of husbands, and if at all husbands participate, they do as if they are some revered entities to which their wives need to be grateful or worship them just for being what they are, a husband. The sole purpose of most of these festivals is to make a wife pray for her husband's well-being and be thankful that her husband is still alive. Therefore, one of the justifications offered for not allowing widows is that as their husband is not alive widows don't have any use of such a festival. People don't even realize how insensitive this justification is. it must also be noted that there are many such festivals where a wife is supposed to celebrate the existence of her husband. But I have not seen similar festivals where a husband has to perform any ritual for his wife's well-being or be thankful for her being alive, nor men are barred from any social gatherings or forced to dress any differently based on whether their spouse is alive or not.

Also, these festivals are celebrated by many: educated and uneducated, rich and poor, in cities and in villages, within India or abroad. The appeal and popularity of such traditions are really widespread. Many men and women who celebrate these festivals know women within their own families who can't celebrate such festivals because their husband is no more. These people feel bad for such women, but that's it, they do not think that these traditions are in any way discriminatory or insensitive. Even the women who are at the receiving end of these traditions don't feel that they are being discriminated against, these women blame their own misfortune or bad karma (if not this life then from their previous life) for their fate. I never saw my grandmothers complaining about the discrimination that they faced on countless occasions in their lives. They just blamed their fate, nothing else. Most of the victims are not even aware that they are being victimized, and this is the saddest part. 

My battle against these traditions started when I became aware of their discriminatory nature. As a child, I was not aware of discrimination in any form, not because it was not happening around me, but because I was not sensitized to detect and fight against it, I was taught obedience and respect. However, the training of obedience and respect did not stop me from opposing them since I became aware of the discriminatory nature of these traditions. I am trying to change them within my own family. Honestly, most of my attempts have been unsuccessful so far. I have no shame in accepting my failure and I am very well aware that there is a strong possibility that I may not be successful in changing any of these in my lifetime, but this doesn't deter me from fighting my battle. I don't participate in any such rituals, some of them are celebrated within my own family, I am not part of it, I oppose them, but the reality is that they still continue. There is also a possibility that one day things may change, and people around me might agree that I have a point, whether this will happen or not I don't know, but I know that my battle against such discrimination will continue.    

Thanks for reading and please share your opinion about this topic. 

 

Trumpophobia

Recently I attended a conference where there were panel discussions about changes in the government's position and other aspects of American society after the election of Donald Trump as the 45th President of the United States. I can understand the apprehensions and concerns of people to see a nonconventional candidate registering a surprise victory over a well-qualified candidate, but I didn't understand the irrational fear and phobia associated with Mr. Trump and some of his policies. It was pretty clear from the beginning that Mr. Trump is not a conventional candidate, the way he conducted his campaign and his speeches were enough to prove this. In the end, people from more number of states preferred his rhetoric over Mrs. Clinton's and he won a bitterly fought election. Quite understandably Hillary's supporters were shocked to witness this, but I thought that they would get over this defeat and try to search for reasons why this happened so that they can fight back next time. This is what any political party should do after facing a defeat in any election. Reflecting on what went wrong is very important to make sure that we don't repeat the same mistakes again.

The general tone of most of the panel discussions was that the USA is moving towards a dictatorship, minorities will be targeted with the government's tacit approval, and there is a fascist regime in the White House. There is a change of regime and it is very clear that the current administration has a different outlook compared to the previous one. But, this is what happens when one party replaces another, that's why we get to choose which party (hence, which policy) we want the country should adopt. This time people thought Trump might do a better job to forward American interest, let's give him a chance. Others, who don't agree with the President, definitely have democratic means to protest against his policies and resist in peaceful ways. At the same time, it is wrong to spread unnecessary fear and phobia about a person who has not even completed 100 days in the office. In a democracy, we need to respect people's choices, free and fair elections are the backbone of any democracy, and we should honor the results of such elections. 

I also registered my strong opposition to Trump's comments about women and his general attitude toward them. I still have reservations about most of his policies, but I also know that he has a clear mandate to be the President of the USA and will need the support of all its citizens and residents to run it successfully for the next four years. In 2020, there will be another election and there will be another chance for all Trump opponents to fight another electoral battle until then they need to watch his actions closely. Political opposition is necessary to make sure the voices of all sections of society are being heard and the interests of each and all groups are represented, but this opposition should not become such a hindrance in governance that nothing moves forward. Sonner the people get over this Trumpophobia, better for the country. There was an Obamaphobia in certain sections of political circles for the last eight years, and now there is an emergence of a Trumpophobia, I believe such phobias are bad for the political and social health of a country like the USA. Let's give the new President some time to prove his capabilities and be vigilant about the country's interests first. There will be another election soon to take care of political interests, but let's focus on the country and its welfare for now.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Drawbacks of having politically polarized society

Political polarization is on the rise all over the world. In many countries, especially in the USA and India, we can feel that the political rift between major political parties is widening day by day. I don't think this is a very desirable development. Political differences are part of any healthy democratic setup, there is nothing wrong with debating any topic, but when it takes the form of strong animosity then it not only creates a very politically charged environment for politically relevant issues but also very trivial things turn into big political battles. A lot of energy and resources are wasted arguing about some trivial issues. This also creates extreme bitterness among general public who feel compelled to fight these battles to support their political organization. Ultimately this leads to serious political deadlock. As a result of all this many important issues get sidetracked or they get stuck between political deadlocks as no party is interested in a compromise because of fear of hurting the sentiments of their core supporters. Whereas political opposition, debates, discussions, and arguments are necessary, political polarization is not a very productive atmosphere for any country. It is impossible to achieve any substantial progress in such an environment. We can feel the effect of this in both countries where many important issues are stuck in serious political deadlock, all we see is an endless blame game.

Why too much political polarization is bad for any country? How does it affect its population and governance? These are the questions we need to ask to understand the detrimental effect of this phenomenon. Any political ideology has some core principles on which they are not willing to compromise at all, that is why we have different political groups. Many times these issues are part of the basic political identity of those political parties, this is why we give them labels like leftist, rightist or centrist, conservative or liberal, socialist or capitalist, etc. There are many issues on which bipartisan collaboration is possible as most political parties agree on some of these topics that are not part of their core political agenda. But in a politically polarized atmosphere supporters and leaders of these political parties create a war-like situation where each and every issue, no matter how trivial or relevant, becomes a matter of serious conflict and political prestige. They become more interested in defeating their opponents at any cost rather than working in collaboration to achieve something better for their country. Any sensible person can agree that this is not a very desirable situation. We all should recognize that political opposition is necessary, it is an integral part of any democratic setup. We all should not only expect that alternate views and ideas exist but should create an atmosphere where people are not scared to express their views. The ability to express dissent is a very important aspect of any democratic setup. If we curb this for any reason then this is bound to hamper the progress of any society, country, or organization. The health of any society can be measured by the extent it allows the free flow of ideas. When there are incidents where people get arrested under the charge of sedition just for delivering some speech or a political rally of some leader gets disrupted just because some people don't agree with the views expressed by that leader then it is a matter of concern. When public perception takes precedence over the law of the land then democracy starts getting suffocated. Political opponents should not be treated as enemies of the nation, especially when you are in power. Some people in the US may not agree with many views expressed by Mr.Trump but he has the right to express them like anyone else. The US Constitution gives him that right, one can express disagreement in the strongest possible words but to disrupt his rallies or try to shut him up or his supporters is not the right way to express the disagreement. Indians should be proud of their heritage of argumentative traditions, but somehow today people seem to be more interested in settling scores against each other rather than discussions and debates. Let's go back to healthy political debates. We should debate and discuss each and very thing but in a civilized matter. Let's try to bring sensibility, rational, common sense, and patience back on discussion tables, this is the only way to progress.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]