Reminiscing and overthinking

Who doesn't like to make a well-informed decision? Since the internet invaded our lives, we have most of the information we need available on our phones and laptops. This has its own pros and cons. Because of all the information at our disposal, we are more prone to ruminate (or reminisce) and overthink more than our ancestors used to do. Reminiscing and overthinking are two different mental processes that often get confused with each other because both involve thinking about past events, but they differ significantly in their purpose, focus, and impact on our mental health.

While reminiscing, we recall and reflect on past experiences or relationships. We try to analyze them and gain some perspective from our past experiences. Often, this is a healthy and normal process that helps us to make sense of our behavior and lives, gain some perspective, and derive meaning from our past experiences. Reminiscing if done occasionally, is typically a positive and nostalgic experience that can bring us joy, comfort, and a sense of connection to our past. It can be triggered by various stimuli, such as a song, a smell, a photo, a letter, a thing (souvenir), or a conversation. It can lead to positive emotions such as happiness, gratitude, and contentment. At the same time, if we ruminate only about negative experiences like trauma or tragedy, it can also increase our anxiety and deteriorate our mental health. Depending on what is the trigger, reminiscing can be an extremely rewarding or frustrating experience.

On the other hand, overthinking refers to the tendency to obsessively ruminate on past events or worry excessively about the future. It is a negative and counterproductive process that can lead to anxiety, stress, and even depression. Overthinking rarely involves any positive thoughts, it often involves dwelling on negative thoughts or feelings, such as deep regrets, mistakes, fears, loss, or uncertainties. It can lead to a cycle of self-doubt, second guesses about decisions already made, and can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and self-criticism. It can also be triggered by various factors such as a traumatic event, difficult decisions, buyer's remorse, or any other challenging situation. It can result in negative emotions such as sadness, guilt, self-doubt, and shame.

So, how to differentiate between them. Overthinking and reminiscing both involve ruminating about past events. One way to differentiate between them is to look at their purpose and focus. While reminiscing is focused on gaining insights, wisdom, and positive emotions from our past experiences; overthinking is focused on avoiding or fixing negative outcomes and is often driven by fear of failure, rejection, or loss. Reminiscing helps us to appreciate the good things that have happened in our lives and learn from the challenges we face. In contrast, overthinking leads to a cycle of worry and self-doubt that can be hard to break. Another way to differentiate them is to look at their impact on our mental health. Reminiscing is generally a positive and beneficial process that can improve mood, boost our self-esteem, make us feel good and nostalgic about the past, and enhance our social and personal connections. It can also help us to cope with stress, anxiety, and depression by providing us a sense of continuity and stability in our lives. In contrast, overthinking is generally a negative and harmful process that can worsen our mood, lower our self-esteem, increase self-doubt, and damage our relationships. It can also lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, and fatigue. Reminiscing is focused on appreciation and learning, whereas overthinking is focused on avoidance and fixing. These are two distinct mental processes that we confuse, but it is important to differentiate them as they differ in their purpose, focus, and impact on our mental health.

Can we avoid overthinking and just stick to the positive aspects of reminiscing? No, it is not possible, otherwise, our brain would have adapted to do that to avoid self-harm. All we can do is understand the difference between them and try to cultivate a healthier and more balanced relationship with both processes. It will help us to improve our focus on our past by learning to focus on the positive and let go of the negative. It's not easy as we often fall into the trap of overthinking, and as I already mentioned, we are more prone now as we have so much information fed to us. Nowadays, even the simple process of booking an airline ticket or a hotel reservation can be mind-boggling. Try to reminisce about good memories of the past and avoid falling into the trap of overthinking. All the very best.  

Thank you for reading and please share your views on this topic. 

©Vinay Thakur,  Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com

The importance of simplicity in my life

It is said that simplicity is a virtue, and many of us also believe that we are living a simple life. People loved the simplicity of Mahatma Gandhi, the way he dressed, the way he lived, and the way he presented himself. He is perceived as one of the icons of simplicity in real life. I am personally not a big fan of lavish or exuberant lifestyles, I prefer simplicity, but I don't do it just for the sake of showing it off but I really like it as a way of life. Let me say in the beginning that this is going to be a very personal post, I will be talking a lot about myself, so, anyone who is not interested in reading about my life should feel free not to read this post. Simplicity can be defined by different people differently and here I am discussing my interpretation of it.

I remember reading a comment about Gandhi's lifestyle, "it costs a great deal of money to keep Gandhi living in poverty." This statement may or may not be true, and I am not very sure about the intention of the person who said it. But it is also a fact that simplicity is more appreciated or noticed more when it is practiced by people who can afford to live lavish or exuberant lives. So, the simple lifestyle of celebrities or business tycoons or any famous person is appreciated more than the simple life of some common person who is not well known. The simplicity of life which poor people are forced to practice is not something we talk about as we know that they don't have any other choice. I do recognize that Gandhi really believed in simplicity and his life is a great example of that, I am also one of the people who are greatly influenced by some of his thoughts. But in today's world, it is not easy to live that type of life unless you really believe in it. I am telling this from my personal experience. In today's world of consumerism and aggressive advertisement, where markets and corporations dictate almost everything in our lives, it is not easy to escape the force of consumerism. Today we live in a world where everything is judged by perception created by many alternate realities. Aggressive and attractive advertising creates many different perceptions about many things in people's minds. People are told what it means to be happy, how to live a perfect life, what it means to be beautiful, and so on. People all over the world are literally bombarded with messages where others tell them how to live their lives. This is how we get attached to a particular brand or crave only a particular model of phone, car, or clothing. It is not easy to escape this, these advertisements are designed to be very effective and are based on a lot of research about human psychology and data based on how the human mind works and responds to different stimuli. Slowly but steadily we start believing in these ideas. We start thinking about what these institutions want us to think. Having our own car becomes a need but not a luxury, going on a family vacation is considered a basic element of a happy family life, and owning our own home becomes a social necessity it is not enough just to have a reasonable comfortable accommodation. These are just a few examples I am citing to give an idea about the point of how we are slowly brainwashed by different elements of society. Many perceptions like these become an integral part of our lives and we start judging the world around us based on these standards prescribed to us by the market. 

I come from a very humble background, and my parents really worked hard to keep us afloat. They immigrated from their home state to a totally new state with a different culture and language in search of a better life. They tried their best to provide us with everything and I believe they did a great job within their own limitations. They wanted their kids not to face the same struggles and problems that they faced in their lives. For us, there was no other option than living a very simple life as we couldn't afford anything more, so, for us back then, simplicity didn't seem like a virtue but it felt like a forced thing, a bad joke by destiny on us. But slowly as I read more and as I matured as an adult I realized that it can be a virtue and can be a purposely chosen way of life, since then I decided to live as simple a life as possible, simple in terms of thinking and simple in terms of living within my own limits. It was a very conscious decision which was influenced by some great people about whom I read that time. I also understand that everyone can make their own definition of simplicity. Simplicity can differ from person to person. Therefore, let me make it clear that whatever I am talking about here is my interpretation of simplicity, my own definition of what I think is simple, others can define simplicity based on their own experiences. At the same time, I must also clarify that I don't judge people by their choice of lifestyle. According to me, everyone has the right to choose how to live their own life, it is a matter of personal choice. I totally understand that everyone's needs are different and we all have the right to pursue what we think is best for us. So, my advocacy of simple life should not be taken as criticism or condemnation for any other type of lifestyle. 

As I said, it is easy to live a simple life when you don't have any choice. Back in the days when I used to tell people that I liked this simple way of living and would try to live like this even if my financial situation changed, very few people believed me. Most of them thought that I was advocating simplicity just because I was forced to live that type of life because of our financial situation. It was the same when people didn't believe me when I talked about gender equality. They all said to me that I was talking about this just because I didn't have a daughter and that my thinking would change once I had a daughter of my own. Fortunately, our first child is a daughter and I still believe in gender equality. So far, I managed to hold on to my core beliefs but the truth is things can change any time. I am writing this based on where I stand today and what I believe today, one can argue that there is no guarantee that things will remain the same in the future and I totally acknowledge this concern. But things like equality, simplicity, freedom of expression, and kindness are very important to me and I value them immensely. People around me also help me by giving their continuous feedback which keeps me on track. I love my choice and I hope everyone gets to live the type of life they want, after all, happiness and success are all about the freedom to make our own choices. Simplicity is my choice, what is yours?

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

Clean India - not a easy task but not impossible to achieve

On the occasion of Gandhi Jayanti (2nd October 2014), the Clean India (Swachh Bharat) movement was launched with a big fan fair and media coverage. Many celebrities and politicians seized this opportunity and published their photos of cleaning some already cleaned areas with brooms to display their sincerity and commitment towards this movement. There were even some brand ambassadors who were nominated to take up this challenge and they are supposed to continue this work. The beginning was like any other ambitious government scheme, with a lot of fanfare and media coverage. A lot of noise and chaos was created but soon all this faded and now I guess things are back to normal. Photos of garbage piles, open drainage, and dirty roads are back on the web to show that nothing has changed. It is possible that these people are trying to be cynical or are commenting based on their experience with previous government schemes. When I landed in Mumbai yesterday, I saw that nothing has changed as far as cleanliness is concerned, maybe it was clean on 2nd October I cannot comment on that as I was not here on that day but today it wasn't any different than what I saw when I visited last year. No one will object to the point that the Clean India movement is desperately needed. At the same time, people should know that this was not the first time any government tried to initiate some campaign to clean India, previous governments also tried to do something like this under different names and different schemes but nothing produced the desired result and I hope this one does produce desired result. Public desire and participation are the key to the success of any such campaign. The main reason why such government schemes fail is that we seldom see any bipartisan collaboration in India on any such issues related to public interest. This limits public participation as people react based on their political affiliations not based on the usefulness of these schemes. Unless this attitude of political parties and their supporters changes it is impossible to expect such schemes to succeed no matter who launches it and how much they publicize it. 

Accumulation of garbage in public places, dirty roads, open drainage, open defecation, and urination, careless attitude of people to throw garbage wherever they want, and heavily polluted rivers and lakes are major concerns of every town, city and village in India. It seems that people are only interested in keeping their own homes clean but the moment they step outside their own homes they just forget about cleanliness and behave as if it is not their responsibility to maintain cleanliness of their surroundings. The government is also at fault as it is not able to provide all necessary infrastructure like dustbins, and proper and prompt removal and disposal of garbage. This problem is result of failure on multiple levels. First, people don't think it is their responsibility to keep their city clean and then the government cannot cope with the increasing demand for resources. People always blame government for not doing their job and government authorities complain about lack of funding and people's noncooperation, so both sides keep on blaming each other. The result is there to see for all, many places in these cities stink, and they literally look like garbage disposal sites. People live in such unhealthy surroundings, they complain about it all the time but rarely try to do anything to change it.

I personally know what it means to live in such an environment, kids in our neighborhood used to play cricket with garbage right in the middle of our cricket ground. There was a huge city garbage disposal site within walking distance from our neighborhood where all the kids used to go to look for some useful stuff. Open defecation was very common as there were very limited public toilets so we were used to living with garbage and filth around us. But our homes used to be very clean, we all used to clean our homes multiple times a day, but the same attitude was not displayed towards our neighborhood. I still see this mentality among people, and unless this changes I doubt whether such schemes will work or not. The idea of a clean India is appealing but this is not going to happen without active public support and participation. How many celebrities who posed for a picture on that day (including our PM) continued with this work the next day? How many bothered to check that the area which they cleaned remained clean after one week? How many politicians or actors continued to work with their supporters and fans to make sure that interest in such activity is not temporary but becomes a permanent habit? Wherever I talked with people about this scheme they either just laughed it off or just ignored which is really disappointing. I really hope that the people of India don't take this cleanliness drive so lightly, this is a very serious issue that will require nationwide support. It is very disappointing to see that during the current election campaign in Maharashtra and Haryana, no political party (including BJP) looked interested in talking about this idea. If it continues like this, this scheme will also go down in history like many other government launched schemes who were launched with good intentions but failed to deliver any desired result. Let's wait and watch, I hope I am wrong because like everyone I also dream of seeing a clean India.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]