Burqa and mini skirt - Symbols of liberation or oppression?

Symbolism is of great importance for any civilization. Various symbols can convey messages about our culture, habits, traditions, and values. The clothes we wear are one such symbol. A society where people are free to wear whatever they want based on their own needs and tastes can claim to be a free and tolerant place. Societies, where the dress code is strictly implemented against the wish of people, and they are forced to wear a certain type of clothing cannot claim to be a free society. Our clothing is a type of self-expression. Many of us try to express ourselves using the way we dress, actually, this is one of the reasons why we wear different dresses for different occasions. I am not a supporter of a dress code. Note that school uniforms are a different ball game, it has a special educational purpose. I like to wear clothes in which I feel comfortable. I hate the idea of being forced to wear a certain type of clothing against my wish. Social pressure or peer pressure can be considered as the other two important factors that force people to follow certain clothing habits.

Many times Burqua (or a veil) is propagated as a sign of oppression of women. It is true that forcing women or for that matter anyone to wear a certain type of clothing against their wish is wrong. However, what if they are doing it out of their own choice? Can then we call it a freedom to choose or do we need to look deeper? I think it is not that straightforward. We must ask, under what circumstances that choice is offered? Is there any indirect pressure to dress or appear in a certain way to satisfy social norms? Is there peer pressure or fear of serious social and professional repercussions if they don't dress in a certain way? These questions might help us to understand the situation in a better way, rather than concluding anything only based on the dress. I have seen women wearing dark burqas on extremely hot summer days and mini skirts and high heels on extremely cold days. In both conditions, the clothing totally defied the needs dictated by the weather conditions. I always wondered which one of them can be considered that she was free to choose her dress? Maybe none of them. Just because someone is wearing a burqa doesn't mean that person is living in an oppressed culture and just because someone is wearing a mini skirt doesn't mean they are living in a free society. Real freedom means people make informed choices. They choose what they want based on their own needs and requirements, not based on what society expects from them. One lady mentioned to me that it is not easy to be a woman even in developed countries as there are very high expectations about the way they should look and dress. She told me that most people think that women should not have any body hair except on the head, eyelids, and eyelashes. I was shocked to know about these expectations. It is very natural to have body hair, it is a natural part of being a living organism, but to force someone to get rid of it just because of some ridiculous beauty standard is ridiculous, but it seems there is such an unreasonable expectation and most women have to do this. If they don't then the social and professional penalties are severe. 

Women need to fight this stereotype on their own, this is one way of subjugating them by putting the burden of unreasonable expectations about their external appearance. Forcing a burqa is as bad as forcing a miniskirt, there is no difference. Wearing a bikini or jeans doesn't make you a forward or liberal, at the same time wearing a burqa doesn't make you a backward or oppressed. A person's character should not be decided by the type of clothes they wear. Our clothes should be one of the ways to express ourselves, they should reflect our choices and should be based on our own decisions and needs. Our dress is the true reflection of our personality only when it is our choice, based on free will. A burqa or miniskirt can be a symbol of oppression or freedom depending on under what circumstances people wear it.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing.]

Woman president - no thanks

Like many, the result of the US presidential election was surprising for me. It was not shocking as the contest was very tight, but the result definitely surprised me. Politically, I consider myself an independent. I don't subscribe to any political ideology as I find some good, bad, and terrible policies from both political parties. I support some of Mr. Trump's policies, but that "locker room talk" was too much for me to take. He literally sounded like a sexual predator in that video, it was horrifying to watch a presidential nominee talking like that. Whether it was locker room talk or not, it displayed a demeaning attitude towards women. Now, I know the difference between dirty talk and sexual assault. The released conversation was not just dirty talk; he could do as much dirty talk as he wanted, but this sounded like a confession of a sexual assault, and there is a huge difference between these two things. 

The two choices presented by both parties were not perfect. Hillary's CV was much stronger for that job, but just having a strong CV doesn't guarantee you any job, the interview panel should like you and then only the job is guaranteed. Hillary failed to impress the interview panel, the voters. There can be several reasons for election defeat, but this election was special. The question is, how much her gender played a role in her defeat? According to some polls and opinions, Americans don't mind having a woman president, but so far this amazing country where women are so talented, qualified, and hard-working, couldn't find a single qualified woman fit for that job. The path to the White House for women is so hard that this was the first time a woman made it through primaries to get a major political party's nomination. It took more than 200 years to find a black person to lead the country, and no one knows how many years it might take to find a qualified woman to lead this country. 

So, why do I think that Hillary's gender played a role in this election? Was she judged with stricter standards just because she was a woman? To understand this, I want readers to imagine a hypothetical scenario by switching the gender of candidates. Imagine Hillary as a successful business person with undisclosed tax returns and an extremely lavish and flamboyant lifestyle. Imagine the release of her "locker room talk" video, where she is bragging about her attempts to sexually harass men and how she loves kissing young men, grabbing their crotch and she can do whatever she wants because she is rich, powerful, and famous. Do you think she would have had any chance to win an election or even get a nomination? If your answer is "no chance," then you know what I mean when I say that her gender played a major role in her defeat. Yes, emails mattered, the FBI director's sudden statement mattered, her image mattered, Bill Clinton mattered, her time in the government mattered, but her gender played a BIG role. This is what disappointed me. I was not sad that a Democrat lost or a Republican won, I hardly cared about their party affiliation. I was not sad that Hillary lost, as I am not her fan, I was sad that ultimately once again gender bias won.

To explain why this loss was more bothersome, let me give an example of India's parliament election of 2014. Here also Mr. Modi, with a questionable attitude towards his own wife won the election with an impressive majority, but his victory was not unexpected as his opponents were really weak. He at least looked like the most competent person among all who were competing for that job. His total disregard towards his wife was not even an issue. No one bothered to think that if a prime minister could treat his wife like this, then what about other citizens? He didn't even bother to give her a divorce, just ignored her as if she didn't exist. It showed society's total disregard for women's rights, but I hardly expected that Indian voters would even think about this issue, and as expected they didn't. So, it was not an unexpected result, but I didn't expect something similar to happen here in the USA. I know that resentment against immigrants or minorities is a very strong feeling and I wrote a post regarding this issue just a few days before the election. In that post I mentioned that the use of resentment against immigrants can result in huge political dividends, it happened in India so there was no reason why it couldn't happen in the US. It seems Hillary could have lost the election to any other Republican candidate as Mr. Trump won even after the release of that video. This is surprising to me and it puts a question mark in my mind about society's attitude towards women, and I hope I am wrong about this.

Women played a significant role in Mr. Trump's victory. It seems the majority of white women voted for him. Obviously, race was not a factor as both candidates were from the same race. So, most probably, gender might have been the determining factor. The effect of patriarchy is so strong that even women think that men are most suitable for any leadership position. This thinking is inculcated since childhood and each tradition or custom is designed to validate this thinking. It becomes so embedded in our minds that we don't even realize that most of us become proponents of patriarchy. The glass ceiling about which many women leaders talk is not just created by men or patriarchy, but women are equal contributors to make sure that ceiling remains intact. Such incidents have happened many times before and may happen in the future. But that doesn't mean women should stop trying. Indeed, it's not easy to break that glass ceiling, but definitely, efforts of all these years made it crack a little, and now it is up to us to break it. It is not going to be easy, but it is possible, let's give one last punch to break this glass ceiling.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing.]

Resentment against immigrants - Why?

I have lived my life as a part of an immigrant family in India and I am an immigrant in the USA. I have experienced a build-up of resentment against immigrants, but so far I never suffered any harm because of it. This problem is very real and I want to share my perspective on it. My family migrated from one state of India to another in search of better opportunities (from Uttar Pradesh to Maharashtra). In India, each state is like a different country, with its own language and culture. It is not that easy to adjust, especially, if the native language is totally alien to you. One can cook their own food or eat whatever is available, but it takes quite a bit of time and some effort to learn a new language and get to know a new culture. My parents went through this struggle and I witnessed that. The good part of this struggle was, that they never forced any of their kids to learn their own native language (Bhojpuri). I and my brothers learned to speak Marathi instead of Hindi or Bhojpuri. I give total credit for this to my parents. I don't know if they did it on purpose, but this is how it happened. We used to speak three languages simultaneously in our home, Bhojpuri, Hindi, and Marathi. Until recently my parents used to speak with us in Hindi or Bhojpuri and we used to answer in Marathi. It happens even now, but not that much, because now they are very comfortable with Marathi also. This arrangement worked very flawlessly, it was so smooth that we didn't even realize that we were using three languages simultaneously. The point here is, that they didn't stop us from learning the local culture, language, or customs. They allowed us to mingle with our surroundings, form friendships, and do whatever other kids from the neighborhood were doing. As a kid, I never felt that my family came to Maharashtra from some other state. Maharashtra is my home state and Marathi is my mother tongue. We grew up and became a proud Maharashtrians in a family that migrated from UP. This does not mean that we were totally disconnected from our native place, Uttar Pradesh. We can speak Bhojpuri quite well, love food from that region, and visit there whenever possible. I feel lucky that I belong to two states in India. Maharashtra now has a sizable population coming from northern states like UP and Bihar. As normally happens, some resentment got built against these people among native Maharashtrians, and some parties tried to encash these feelings. This feeling is so strong that some political parties and leaders owe their existence to it. Who supports political parties that spread hatred against migrants or immigrants and why? Why this feeling of resentment against fellow residents, which is almost like hatred becomes such a powerful political weapon? It is a powerful weapon that even in a developed country like the USA, this issue is one of the major issues of the presidential election and it is one of the major reasons for Mr. Trump's popularity.

Why do immigrants go through this phase in any society? Why doesn't it happen when they start immigrating, but only when they become a sizable minority group, and their presence can be seen and felt by the majority? I tried to get answers to these questions based on my own experience. Maharashtra and the USA are very cultured and civilized societies, these places are not alien to the presence of immigrants or migrants. Why a country like the US, which is known to be very friendly towards immigrants is facing this problem?

There is no doubt that the cultural clash is one of the reasons for this problem. When immigrants become a sizable minority, they start registering their presence on various platforms and this disturbs some native people. At the same time, current residents (including the original natives and immigrants who moved in before the current immigrants) start feeling that their culture is under attack or threat, as immigrants start asserting their own culture and traditions. The native population starts feeling that one day their own traditions will disappear. Now, no one cares or bothers to think whether these concerns are real or not, they don't bother to check their validity, but these fears start creating a feeling of resentment in some of the native population. This fear slowly builds up. A bad economy or poor employment rate fuels more insecurity among people and these feelings start showing their ugly effect in some stray incidents, where some immigrant gets attacked for no reason. Some political leaders take advantage of this fear and make it a hot political issue. This is what happened in Maharashtra and this is what is happening in the USA, and unfortunately, I am a witness to both.

Who is right and who is wrong? Who should be blamed for this situation? Are immigrants responsible for not adapting to their new place and appreciating the new culture and values which has given them so much? Are native people responsible for not being flexible enough and accommodating to include new values and cultural norms in their existing culture? I think the problem is from both sides. Remember, it takes two to tango. If you wanted to create another UP in Maharashtra then why did you migrate from UP? If you wanted to create another India in the USA, why not live in India itself. After all, the original is always better than the duplicate, right? What's the point in creating another Mexico in the USA? On the other hand, why not welcome and adapt some great values from all these cultures into the US culture and make it more diverse? Why can't we respect each other without threatening the existence of each other?

All people who think that this resentment against immigrants is unreal or is a totally misplaced feeling, are themselves living in a denial mode. A presidential candidate like Mr. Trump or a leader like Mr. Thackerey doesn't get support for no reason. People may feel that these leaders are not qualified to hold any public office, but they should not make the mistake of ignoring them or the issues they use for their political gain. They all are not deplorable people, labeling such a big part of the population stupid won't help. If any mainstream politician don't address their concerns, they will choose someone who they think is best to handle their issues, and then we really can't complain, it will be too late. I don't think Mr. Trump is their solution for their problems, but he is their answer to the political class for ignoring their concerns, for ridiculing their fear. Now they see someone who can speak for them, he is far from perfect, but at least he is recognizing their problems, and this is enough for most of them. The current political class is trapped in too much political correctness, they prefer ignoring difficult issues. They prefer to wait and watch rather than tackle the problems head-on. The point is, that someone should listen to these concerns and try to find solutions, ignoring or ridiculing is not going to help.

I am not here to judge whether this feeling of resentment is justified or not, one can debate about it. Maybe they really feel threatened about their culture or employment. Maybe they are really concerned they will become a minority and their kids will face problems. Maybe all this fear is totally misplaced, but someone needs to discuss these things. These people should feel that their concerns are also being considered as mainstream problems. The country is not only facing problems related to guns, abortion, terrorism, and unemployment; but illegal immigration is a serious problem and should be discussed. If not, then someone will take advantage of this anger. Today it's Trump, tomorrow it may be someone else, and please don't make the mistake of thinking that elections can't be won or lost on such polarizing issues. I have seen it happening in India and it can very much happen in the US. Discussing such sensitive issues openly is good for both sides, especially political opponents of Mr. Trump. After all, everyone living here loves this country. It is already a great country and let's make sure that it remains one.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]