Saturday, November 7, 2015

Women are made, not born

The title of this post is a famous quote by French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir on womanhood. I don't know in what context he said it, but when I heard it I immediately thought, wow, he described it so correctly. For me, this quote means that we as a society condition the minds of people into believing what men and women should do, how they should behave and what are their roles in society and family. In reality, no gender is supposed to do only certain types of things or behave in a certain way, we define it and it is a human creation. This quote is actually equally applicable to men, all genders are told what it is supposed to be a man or woman or a transgender and then we all try to fit into one of these roles. In the modern world, many people are trying to challenge these definitions and break the traditional gender perceptions but still, it is not that easy. The characteristics assigned to different genders are so stereotyped that people involuntarily follow them. Men without even knowing subscribe to traditional notions of masculinity, they come under tremendous pressure to perform and succeed to demonstrate their manliness. Similarly, women are forced into certain roles, and their minds are conditioned to teach them what they can do and what they can't. Once this task is successfully achieved, then it is easy for a patriarchal society to dictate what men can do and what women can do, and everyone follows. This biased environment then creates ample examples to support this hypothesis, and most people agree with these things as they see many examples validating these notions. That is why such quotes are important, they tell us the inherent flaw associated with such classification. Such quotes and thoughts force us to think and ask some uncomfortable and difficult questions. One of those questions should be, whatever we see around or believe is natural or manufactured by centuries of tradition and suppression of certain genders?

Our sex is determined by our DNA and now we very well understand the science behind it. But once we are born and start our journey in this world, society and people around us start conditioning our minds about what our gender should and shouldn't do. Many traditions, rituals, and cultural or religious beliefs start shaping our minds in a particular way. We are told about our gender and also how our gender must behave. We are also told about the responsibilities and limitations of our gender roles, what boys should like, and what girls are supposed to like. There are rewards for obedience and punishments for disobedience of these restrictions and slowly these things become part of our personality. They get embedded deep in our psyche. Rarely do we think about questioning these things. Many of us don't ask, why only women cook in the family? Why do only men have to go and work outside? Why it is considered the responsibility of man to be the breadwinner of a family? Why polygamy is more accepted in some societies but not polyandry? Why do only women change their last names after marriage? Why there is no equal recognition of any third gender? Nowadays these types of questions are being asked and many people are trying to challenge gender discrimination at various levels, but one can easily feel that society is not yet very receptive and accommodative of many of these reforms. There is still a reluctance to break the traditional stereotyped definition of men and women, but the pot is being stirred, things are being challenged and something good is going to come out of all this.

Many people including many women still believe that women are incapable of doing certain things, but they don't question why? Is it because they are women or because for centuries they were told that they couldn't do these things and now suddenly we expect them to match men on every level or go back to their traditional role. Providing an opportunity is just a first step, once the opportunity is provided one has to give enough time to master those skills. Men didn't become powerful in one day, they got preferred treatment and a favorable social atmosphere for centuries to become the so-called stronger or dominant sex. Actually, many women have already proven that they can take up any challenge thrown at them but still, many of them are way far behind as they are caged in age-old stereotyped boundaries. Slowly they are also becoming aware of their rights and capabilities, and even with limited resources and additional household burdens, they are competing strongly. As this awareness spreads across the world, we will see more and more women entering the mainstream and taking up responsible roles. If society and people around them don't try to suppress their potential, then I am sure in years to come we will see many more women in key leadership roles. Until then, let's try to create an environment where they get a fair shot to prove their talent.  

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]

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