The post is not only about biological motherhood but in general about biological parenthood. I specifically mentioned motherhood in the title as it gets highlighted everywhere and is a more glorified term compared to fatherhood or parenthood. Do we over-glorify or give so much importance to biological parenthood? No doubt that parenthood (becoming a mother or father) is one of the most beautiful things in this world, but why do we give so much importance to the biological part of it? Any capable adult can become a parent either by biological means or legal means (adoption). However, our society puts so much emphasis on biological parenthood that all other forms of parenthood are given secondary status. Even discussing other parenthood options are social taboo in many societies. Even some modern techniques for biological parenthood like in vitro fertilization, test tube babies, and surrogacy are the subject of heavy criticism by various conservative groups because they think some of these techniques directly interfere with the area of expertise of their God.
The biological part of parenthood seems so important that if for some reason couples can not conceive a child naturally (even after medical treatment) they feel very depressed (which is natural) but then they start thinking that they are missing something big in their life. They start running to temples and so many so-called Gurus to get a biological child, but somehow many of them don't think about other options available to them to become a parent. The main reason they feel hesitant to consider other options is the stigma associated with those methods as well as lack of knowledge. They also think that other types of parenthood are not as rewarding as natural parenthood. Eventually, they start feeling that something is wrong with their life. People or their relatives start feeling bad for them and feel sympathy for them. Those women are labeled as barren (like a barren land that cannot produce anything) and many times face torture and emotional trauma. Sometimes these women are not invited to social functions as they are considered a bad omen.
Generally, the entire blame for a couple's infertility is put on a woman (especially in non-developed countries or conservative societies). I have seen this happening in India (and I am sure it happens in many other countries too). Most of the time this happens without even doing any proper medical checkup. If a couple can not conceive 1-2 years after marriage then in most cases blame is automatically put on the wife but not on the husband. In many societies, for men to have some medical problem related to infertility is something very shameful. This is something that questions their manhood. They are called impotent or so many other names (most of them are insulting or derogatory terms), and because of this many men don't even like to go for any medical checkup for this type of problem. Due to the social stigma associated with these things in some societies, men try to avoid this issue or try to hide these types of problems. Actually, there are so many reasons for male infertility or female infertility and there is nothing shameful in either of them. Many infertility-related conditions are treatable, it is entirely a personal health matter and no one should be judged or discriminated against based on their medical history. I think just because our society gives so much importance to biological parenthood the act of becoming a parent is considered as the proof confirming one's manhood or womanhood and failing to do so is considered as something shameful.
The biological part of parenthood seems so important that if for some reason couples can not conceive a child naturally (even after medical treatment) they feel very depressed (which is natural) but then they start thinking that they are missing something big in their life. They start running to temples and so many so-called Gurus to get a biological child, but somehow many of them don't think about other options available to them to become a parent. The main reason they feel hesitant to consider other options is the stigma associated with those methods as well as lack of knowledge. They also think that other types of parenthood are not as rewarding as natural parenthood. Eventually, they start feeling that something is wrong with their life. People or their relatives start feeling bad for them and feel sympathy for them. Those women are labeled as barren (like a barren land that cannot produce anything) and many times face torture and emotional trauma. Sometimes these women are not invited to social functions as they are considered a bad omen.
Generally, the entire blame for a couple's infertility is put on a woman (especially in non-developed countries or conservative societies). I have seen this happening in India (and I am sure it happens in many other countries too). Most of the time this happens without even doing any proper medical checkup. If a couple can not conceive 1-2 years after marriage then in most cases blame is automatically put on the wife but not on the husband. In many societies, for men to have some medical problem related to infertility is something very shameful. This is something that questions their manhood. They are called impotent or so many other names (most of them are insulting or derogatory terms), and because of this many men don't even like to go for any medical checkup for this type of problem. Due to the social stigma associated with these things in some societies, men try to avoid this issue or try to hide these types of problems. Actually, there are so many reasons for male infertility or female infertility and there is nothing shameful in either of them. Many infertility-related conditions are treatable, it is entirely a personal health matter and no one should be judged or discriminated against based on their medical history. I think just because our society gives so much importance to biological parenthood the act of becoming a parent is considered as the proof confirming one's manhood or womanhood and failing to do so is considered as something shameful.
In many societies still, women's main duty is to give birth to kids after marriage (especially a male child as heir to the family). If they fail to do so then they face many problems. Even if for whatever reasons (like career, personal unwillingness, finances, or anything else) they don't want to have a child they are pressured in various ways. They are reminded very often about "their most important duty" and "obligation" as a wife or daughter-in-law. This pressure is so huge that most women (educated or uneducated doesn't matter) surrender to it and a few who don't budge under this pressure face many problems and survive in a relationship only when they have the total support of their partner. I wonder why so much importance is given to biological parenthood in many societies and cultures? If we look at ancient stories or some famous mythological characters (like Krishna, Jesus, etc.) many of them have unknown biological origins or lived with adopted parents and led a very normal and successful life. We like their stories, recite them again and again, and love these characters, but even after all this we believe that life is not complete without having "our own' kids." A biological heir to a family is a must for many, why?
Many people make a big mess of beautiful concepts like parenthood by overemphasizing the biological aspect of it. Parenthood is a beautiful thing, very rewarding for both, the child and its parents but parenthood is parenthood no matter what. Whether it's via adoption, childbirth, or any other legal means, any adult can become a great parent if he or she wants. All parents can enjoy this process equally well and if they are not interested in this process, then also it's perfectly fine no need to bother them. People can live complete lives as they choose with or without kids. We should respect each other's personal choices. We have already stereotyped many things let's keep at least parenthood out of it. Many children need parents and many people need a child to fulfill their desire for parenthood, we all can help them by removing the social stigma associated with nonbiological forms of parenthood. I salute all parents who adopt a child even though they can have a child by biological means, not everyone can do this but people who do this are great social reformers. I believe that there is definitely more in life apart from biological parenthood. I am not trying to diminish its importance but sometimes people give way too much importance to this. Let's keep parenthood simple and not make complicated than what already it is.
Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.
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