In her recent interview, PepsiCo CEO Indra K Nooyi said "Women cannot have it all". Actually, I don't know what she means by particularly mentioning women in this statement. Is she referring to work-family life balance? Did she mean that women with successful careers won't be considered as good wives or mothers? Or was she talking about the guilt factor that they cannot pay enough attention to their family, which troubles many women who work? Actually, who can have it all? Can men have it all? Can rich people have it all? Doesn't each one of us have to sacrifice something to get something in our life?
In her interview, she also expressed some instances in her life when she felt that she was not being a good parent. She specifically mentioned her inability to attend coffee sessions which her daughter's school has especially for working women. I wonder if that school had similar coffee sessions for working dads? If not, why? If yes, then how many dads felt guilty for not attending it? Did she feel more guilty because as a woman and mother, she felt it was her duty (compared to her husband's) to attend these functions and cater to her kid's parenting needs? If this is so, then this begs the question of why it is expected only for moms to be more available for their kids, why can't dads be a primary caretaker parent? As a society aren't we mature enough to understand that parenting is not a gender-specific job. If a mom can be a CEO then dad can definitely attend to kid's needs.
Another point that is worth considering is, why she felt guilty? She is a successful professional who achieved very commendable success in her professional field. Is she worried that as she is a woman people might judge her differently as a parent and will question her commitment towards her family because of her professional success? Isn't it common to feel guilty for not attending your child's school function or performance no matter whether you are a dad or a mom? Why does a working mom feel more guilty about these things compared to a working dad? The standards would be the same for both genders, one should not assume that men don't feel the same attachment towards their children as women feel, or that dads cannot take care of their kids as well as moms can.
The truth is we all make some sacrifice in our lives for various reasons. We all get judged by society or by our friends and family in some way. There is always something that we miss, we always choose what we think is most important at that moment in life. Those choices can be right or wrong in retrospect, but we all make them thinking that we are making the right choice. Different people prioritize things differently, something that is important to me may not be important to someone else. Actually, no one can have it all. It doesn't matter whether women or men they all gain some things and lose some things during their personal and professional life. It is unfair to say that only women can't have it all. They are conditioned to feel more guilty compared to men and this discourages some women from committing fully to their professional life, but most men don't think twice before doing this. May be intention of Indra Nooyi was good but her statement conveys a wrong message. Choose the path that suits you the best, give your best effort, and then enjoy the journey, that's what matters the most. Men or women, no one can have it all, and like men women should not feel bad or guilty about it.
In her interview, she also expressed some instances in her life when she felt that she was not being a good parent. She specifically mentioned her inability to attend coffee sessions which her daughter's school has especially for working women. I wonder if that school had similar coffee sessions for working dads? If not, why? If yes, then how many dads felt guilty for not attending it? Did she feel more guilty because as a woman and mother, she felt it was her duty (compared to her husband's) to attend these functions and cater to her kid's parenting needs? If this is so, then this begs the question of why it is expected only for moms to be more available for their kids, why can't dads be a primary caretaker parent? As a society aren't we mature enough to understand that parenting is not a gender-specific job. If a mom can be a CEO then dad can definitely attend to kid's needs.
Another point that is worth considering is, why she felt guilty? She is a successful professional who achieved very commendable success in her professional field. Is she worried that as she is a woman people might judge her differently as a parent and will question her commitment towards her family because of her professional success? Isn't it common to feel guilty for not attending your child's school function or performance no matter whether you are a dad or a mom? Why does a working mom feel more guilty about these things compared to a working dad? The standards would be the same for both genders, one should not assume that men don't feel the same attachment towards their children as women feel, or that dads cannot take care of their kids as well as moms can.
The truth is we all make some sacrifice in our lives for various reasons. We all get judged by society or by our friends and family in some way. There is always something that we miss, we always choose what we think is most important at that moment in life. Those choices can be right or wrong in retrospect, but we all make them thinking that we are making the right choice. Different people prioritize things differently, something that is important to me may not be important to someone else. Actually, no one can have it all. It doesn't matter whether women or men they all gain some things and lose some things during their personal and professional life. It is unfair to say that only women can't have it all. They are conditioned to feel more guilty compared to men and this discourages some women from committing fully to their professional life, but most men don't think twice before doing this. May be intention of Indra Nooyi was good but her statement conveys a wrong message. Choose the path that suits you the best, give your best effort, and then enjoy the journey, that's what matters the most. Men or women, no one can have it all, and like men women should not feel bad or guilty about it.
Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.
[Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing]
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