Sunday, December 30, 2012

Yes, We all are guilty..

She died, yes, finally she died...and I know that I don't have to mention her name, there is no need of it...we all know who was she..we all are mourning for her, we all are sad for her, she was just 23 years of age, one night, one incident, one bus ride changed her life...but she was not just another helpless girl who suffered tragic death at the hand of few psychotic men of our society, she was representative of all women and kids who suffer sexual abuse every day. 

We all are directly or indirectly responsible for her death. Those six men were not alone when they were raping her, there was this age old mindset which thinks that women don't have choice to wear what they want, their exposed bodies tempt men to loose control of their mind and gives them right to rape her, abuse her, these dented and painted women don't even have right to protest, they are our prized possessions and we should cover them from head to toe to hide them from others eyes so that they don't get stolen, they are objects of our family's and our personal honor, how come a woman can dare to challenge a man's authority, doesn't she know her limits? and many beliefs like these were with those six men, they helped them, fueled their ambition, they encouraged them to brutally rape her, beat her, WHY..because she was a woman who dared to resist them, who dared to challenge their authority, who dared to hurt their so called male ego...she need to be taught a lesson...and based on what we see in our movies, in our society..the best way to punish any woman is to rape her, abuse her sexually, even if she survives the assault it kills her spirit, her honor, she will remember it for rest of her life..abusing her sexually is ultimate victory for a man, it shows his masculinity  power, after all man is not a man unless he is capable of sexually dominating a woman, unless he is able to produce kids..these all are not lines from any book from medieval era or some C grade movie but thinking of our own society, it is part of our belief system. 

Even today we have to have debate on TV on issues whether women in cities should walk alone on streets after dark? Whether they should wear makeup or clothes of their choice?...guilty are not only those men who committed this crime...definitely they deserve strictest possible punishment...but guilty is also the system which produced them..and we all are part of that system..we can not escape the blame..killing these six men won't stop this because there are many like them who are waiting for their many incidents of rape were reported even after this rape which was widely covered in all forms of media? did we see any drop in number of cases? Rape is not just a sexual act, its a act of violence...we need to kill this mindset which looks at women in such derogatory way and its not easy..because that evil resides in all of us in some form or other...its not easy at all but unless we do this we will be standing at this juncture again and again looking in the mirror at the same image and wondering why these things happen? How to stop them? From where these people come? Why they do this? every time same questions and same answers. 

I wrote many posts related with issue of women suppression and attitude of our society, all religions towards women and how all these things share the blame for all the bias and prejudice which still exists in people's mind against women and their sexuality. I support most feminist movements and for all those who criticize these movements blindly without even taking an effort to understand them, feminism is not female chauvinism, it's a simple demand of equal treatment and equal rights, nothing more or nothing less than that. All these TV debates, blogs, protests, discussions are definitely going to have some effect, we need all these resources and methods to solve these problems, but we need to persist with our stand until we take it to some logical conclusion, we need to keep pushing for our demands until they get due consideration, just hollow promises, diplomatic answers are not going to help, we heard these type of responses many times in past and now they are not at all acceptable. Once any politician or public figure makes some statement then they should explain why they said that and face the consequences, just withdrawing it and apologizing for it is not enough. 

In a country like India where scams of thousands of crores of rupees is becoming a regular event we don't have a well equipped hospital where we can provide world class care to our patients, we still have to airlift a patient in a very critical stage to a country much smaller than ours for better treatment, who is answerable for this? What is use of all economical boom and progress if we are not able to do anything for substantial for safety and health of our people? Let's bring some accountability in our day to day lives, we all need to be accountable for our actions, which post, which office doesn't matter. We need to ask questions and we need to keep on asking them until we get right answers.

I have many things to say, but I am struggling to find right words to express my feelings I am feeling numb. I also wonder if this is going to help in anyway? I am feeling sad, angry, even slightly helpless but I am not going to give up this fight, silent majority like us needs to speak up, our opinion does matter, lawmakers can not ignore it, we have to make sure that they listen to our voices. We all are guilty and our punishment is to stand and fight for justice, for reforms so that we can protects many others like her from getting abused and murdered, we have to do this there is not choice just accepting our mistake is not enough now. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views about this topic, please raise your voice, we kept quite for too long.

(Copyright: Vinay Thakur. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing)


  1. Every ancient society has been unjust. They created some sort of pecking order (caste system) And women usually end up at the bottom of the pile. All the corruption (social and political) has roots in this sense of entitlement certain groups assume. Men rape women. Politicians rape public resources. Priest/Mullahs rape spiritual sensibilities. What we have seen in Delhi is just a dramatic culmination of general characteristic of a wide spread social disease.

    1. Thanks a lot for your comment, I totally agree with your observation, we need to spread awareness among people about their rights, duties and responsibilities, if they know all these things then I think we can expect more sensible and balanced attitude from our society.