Every couple has their own story—a journey that takes them from acquaintances to lovers, through the joys and struggles of building a family, and ultimately towards a deeper understanding of each other including the similarities and deep differences. Reena and I are no different, we have been on an amazing journey for the last 27 years. One of the most significant aspects of this journey is our journey on the path of acceptance. Many couples share common ground in aspects like religion, culture, nationality, and personal and political beliefs, making their journey of togetherness relatively smoother. But for some, like Reena and me, our differences far outweigh our similarities. And yet, despite these differences, we have built a relationship grounded in love, mutual respect, and unwavering support for each other. Our journey is one of acceptance, a story that holds particular relevance in today's increasingly polarized society.
There are countless ways in which Reena and I are different. To begin with, ours was an arranged marriage—we hardly knew each other before deciding to embark on this lifelong partnership. Our first meeting took place in her family home, under the watchful eyes of relatives, in a setting that left little room for deep, personal connection. Yet, despite the absence of a traditional courtship, we built a bond that grew stronger over time. Our differences, rather than dividing us, became opportunities for growth and understanding. Our differences helped both of us to understand each other more than our similarities.
One of the most fundamental disparities between us lies in our views on religion. Over time, I moved away from religious beliefs and practices, while Reena remained steadfast in her faith. It is not uncommon for interfaith couples to navigate such differences, but in our case, it was not a matter of different faiths—it was the coexistence of faith and skepticism under one roof. While I have little interest in rituals and customs, Reena finds solace in them. While I have no respect for customs that I believe are deeply patriarchal and misogynistic, Reena finds peace and happiness in some of them. Over the years, rather than allowing these differences to create irreconcilable rifts, we have learned to accommodate each other’s perspectives. She has made me more tolerant of certain aspects of religion, and I have helped her recognize the historical and systemic issues within religious institutions, particularly in relation to patriarchy and gender inequality.
I highlight this aspect of our relationship because religious and ideological differences are becoming flashpoints of division in our world today. Hate-based politics is thriving, with leaders deliberately stoking fear and resentment to gain power. People are increasingly retreating into ideological camps, unwilling to engage with those who think differently. This polarization is not limited to religion—it extends to politics, social issues, and even personal values. It is disheartening to witness how societies that have made incredible advancements in knowledge and understanding are regressing into division and hostility. It is sad to see that rather than working towards a common goal people are trying to score brownie points over each other. It is sad to see that rather than accepting our differences and moving on with our similarities, people are more interested in vilifying each other and playing the blame game.
However, acceptance does not mean blind agreement or passive tolerance. True acceptance lies in acknowledging our differences while recognizing the necessity of working together. It means allowing space for disagreement, engaging in meaningful dialogue, and striving to understand opposing viewpoints rather than dismissing them outright. It means choosing to coexist and build something greater, despite unresolved differences. Reena and I did not arrive at this understanding through a single, profound revelation. There was no grand epiphany—just a series of everyday moments where we chose to support rather than resist, to listen rather than argue to prove each other wrong and to love rather than alienate. If we, as individuals with starkly different beliefs and outlooks, can create a life together rooted in compassion, then surely society at large can do the same.
I hope our journey serves as a reminder that differences will always exist, but they should never overshadow our shared humanity. In a world where division is increasingly the norm, choosing acceptance and cooperation is not just an act of love—it is an act of defiance against the forces that seek to divide us. Let us all strive to build something beautiful together, filled with understanding, love, compassion, and yes, our differences. Our differences will stay but so should our love, understanding, and compassion.
Thank you for reading and please share your views about your journey of acceptance.
*Vinay can be reached at thevinay2022@gmail.com
